Author Archives: therealmimi

He was there

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I got my diagnosis on my mom’s birthday.  That just doesn’t seem right does it?  My surgery was that Friday, only five days later.  What a whirlwind week it was.  My parents dropped everything and drove to St. Louis to be with us, even though my dad was a pastor with a busy schedule.  I don’t remember how many days I had to stay in the hospital, I think only two.  I just remember with clarity an early morning blood draw to check my white cell count to see if I could go home.

Shortly after the lab tech left the room, my dad walked in.  He was carrying his garment bag and told me he was about to go back home but wanted to come see me first.  While he was with me, my surgeon, Dr. Billy, came in to tell me that my levels were low and I was going to have to stay longer in the hospital.  My heart sunk into a fearful thought that there might be more cancer.  Then Dr. Billy noticed they had drawn blood out of the arm that had an IV and it had diluted the blood sample.  He had them come back in and draw from my other arm, it was okay, and I was able to go home!

It may not sound like a big deal, but it helped so much that my dad was there.  I didn’t have to be alone through that brief unsettling moment.  He was thinking of me that morning and wanted me to know.  He was there because he loves me.  What did I do to get my dad to love me? Continue reading →

Look beyond the ugly

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We watch HGTV all the time, I mean a LOT.  For some reason it’s really fun to see homes, furniture, rooms and what not fixed up, updated, changed, painted, re-styled, and more…basically made better.  One of our new favorites is the Property Brothers in which Jonathan Scott, a seasoned realty agent, and his brother Drew, a contractor/renovator, convince people to trust them to create their dream home.

The show always starts with the brothers taking a couple to a fabulous updated home, one that holds all the items on their hearts’ wish list, and then letting the couple’s hearts crash into reality when they hear the price of that home.  Time for Drew to step up and tell them he can help make an older or outdated home into their dream home for less.

If the house hunting couple agrees to give it a go, Jonathan takes them to see all sorts of…well…not so lovely homes so they can pick which one they want to renovate.  I have to say I don’t blame the couples for wrinkling their noses at some of them.  What with the orange shag carpeting, the dark 70’s paneling, painted wrought iron railings, dirt and even mold, the fake stone front fireplaces and tiny kitchens with fluorescent lighting, the words “dream home” are not the first to come to mind! Continue reading →

Didn’t see it coming

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10 years ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001, hundreds of people went to work or about their morning routine in the city like they did every other day.  They didn’t know terror and tragedy were on the way, or that they would soon face death.  They didn’t see it coming.

8 years ago, on the afternoon of September 8, 2003, I received a cancer diagnosis from my surgeon.  I felt fine and had no unusual symptoms besides a small lump in my breast.  I didn’t see that coming, for sure.

About a month ago, here in town, a young couple riding on their motorcycle on a beautiful sunny afternoon was crushed between two SUVs because the driver coming up behind them at an intersection was intoxicated.  They left behind small children and many shocked, saddened family and friends.  They certainly didn’t know that was going to happen.

I could list story after story and we’ve all heard it before:  none of us knows what will happen tomorrow, or even in the next hour.   Time is far more precious than we usually realize or remember.  Just reminding you as I remind myself.

Kind of makes the silly things I get upset about trivial and ridiculous:  like the self-checkout clerk being a bit too chatty and helpful Continue reading →

Life with the wonder cats

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Look at him, that little – I mean BIG chubber over there, just laying on the floor.  What a rough life.  We’ve always been “dog people” until a few years ago when Rocky decided we belonged to him.  We heard meowing outside and pawing on our front door.  When we opened the door, he just strolled in as if he’d lived with us for years.  We sent him back out but day after day he hung around, came out of the bush by the front porch to be petted and charm us with his cuteness until we finally gave in and let him come inside for good.

Our doggy went to doggy heaven last fall so now we are “cat people.”  I never thought that would happen.  I have to admit I was a little prejudiced before, thinking cats were not as good as dogs, but I’ve grown quite attached to our two furry felines. Continue reading →

The noise upstairs

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It just gets too quiet sometimes around our house these days.  Now that two of our girls are in college and our youngest is gone often with friends, I miss those sounds I’ve loved all throughout our life.  I miss the sounds of the girls giggling, talking, singing in their rooms or playing instruments, playing video games, having friends in and putting on plays, running in and outside the house, and just life.  I miss the sound of them walking up and down the stairs, doing dishes in the kitchen while singing to their iPod, typing away on the computer keyboard across the room, talking on their phones, or even watching TV.  Those sounds let me know my girls were home.

Last weekend all my girls were here, along with my oldest daughter’s boyfriend.  As John and I went to bed at night, I heard their footsteps upstairs, Continue reading →

The handwriting was on the…card

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I’m sure in every job there is pressure to get things right, to not make mistakes, but it seems in a doctor’s office when people depend on other people who depend on other people to get patients scheduled, signed in, in to see the doctor and treated in a somewhat timely manner, there is extra pressure.  Add people’s busy schedules and often stressful lives to the mix and the pressure to get it right is multiplied.

I help make appointments as one of my duties.  It’s a simple task but if I’m not careful little mistakes can turn into big, embarrassing problems.

One day a nice gal came into the office and up to the counter, saying she had two appointments that day:  One with an ENT doc, and then with the Allergist downstairs.  I looked on our list and didn’t see her name.  I told her no problem, we’d check the other computer program that has the schedule on it.  She wasn’t there either.  I did an inquiry into appointments made and she had been there a few weeks earlier but there was nothing else listed.  I asked her if maybe she got mixed up.  She said she had the appointment card in her car, the one showing she had these two appointments on it.  She went out to get it.

I turned around to look at my friends who also work up front and make appointments.  We didn’t really say anything but we were all hoping it wasn’t our handwriting on that card when she came back in.  Someone gave her the card and forgot to put the appointments in the computer which was a big deal because she probably wouldn’t get seen that day.  She had taken time off work and everything.

Well in a moment she came back in Continue reading →

We really are so much the same

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She could barely keep two feet on the ground as her mom paid the bill and made the next appointment.  She giggled with a grin so wide I could see practically all her teeth, and bounced up and down on her toes, looking all around excitedly.  This girl exuded joy!  Why?  She had just gotten her new hearing aids and could hear everything more clearly than ever before.  She had been nervous and hesitant, not knowing what it would be like, but I could tell she was glad she decided to give them a go.  Watching her was so much fun.  I felt buoyed up by her happiness. I joined in the fun, rustling my papers and clicking the keyboard, “Can you hear this?”  “Yes!” she exclaimed with bright, happy eyes.  It was easy to laugh and smile with her and her mom.

I remember getting my first pair of glasses as a 2nd grader and being able to see details, tree branches outside, and that there were actually things and people in the distance instead of a bunch of blurs.  I remember Christmas mornings with my brother and sister, family vacations, my first real kiss, falling in love with John, having our baby girls, and so many more of those moments that made me want to bounce on my toes and not stop grinning.

Then there was the patient who came out after getting not so encouraging test results.   Continue reading →

Worth It

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If I based my worth on people’s opinions of me I would be whipped to and fro like a ride on one of those old wooden roller coasters.  It’s not really fun and it gives me a headache.

If I based my worth on how I feel about myself any given day or moment, I’d be just as fickle and unsure, my self-image battered and held hostage to whichever emotion ruled at the time.

Am I overly emotional at times?  Yes.

A little silly?  Um, yes.

Perfectionistic and holding unrealistic standards for myself, even without the input of others?  You bet.

Prone to make mistakes even on my best days?  Of course. Continue reading →

Of hard times, mom’s advice, and learning to shut up

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I had a great talk with my sister this afternoon.  What would I do without my sis in my life?

We were talking about being moms and the challenge of not trying to control everyone and everything.  It’s more obvious to me than ever before that I can’t control life and everything that happens to my family.  I also can’t control their choices.

In love and wanting to help, I fight the urge to give advice when I see them about to make decisions that from my life experience I know will bring them heartache or problems.

There’s a time and place for advice and we all need it sometimes.  My mom and dad have shared lots of good advice with me throughout my lifetime.

However, the things and events in my life that have truly taught me to change my ways, to learn new habits, to stop doing some things and start doing others are the hard times.  Experience, consequence and reality are the best teachers.

Growth and change have come from the times I was so desperate I had to fall on my face and cry out to my Papa, my God, and plea for answers.  It has come from the times when I felt I had no one else to turn to for help.  It comes from the times of heart-breaking disappointment, from asking questions and facing fears.  It comes from asking God to put things back together after I made a poor choice, then dust me off and get me moving again in a better direction.

As a mom, especially at this stage of my daughters’ lives, the best thing I can do most of the time is shut up.  Pray, try to consistently live out my faith, trust God and keep my mouth closed.  If I were even able to keep them from having to face the inevitable hard times or consequences from mistakes, I would actually be keeping them from the endurance, faith, hope, perspective and closeness to God that only hard times bring.  That’s what I have always prayed and hoped they would find – I sure don’t want to get in the way of that!

I’m in your corner, girls, and I love you.

Trialaphobia

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She had just finished telling me how important antibacterial soap and lotion are and that she used hand sanitizer all the time.  She avoided touching handles in public and things that might be touched by a lot of other folks.  Then, before she left, she told me that she gets sick all the time.  She’s someone I’d label a bit of a germaphobic, in the kindest way of course.

Hold up, though, something isn’t adding up here.   She uses those preventative products religiously and gets sick more than people like me that don’t use that stuff very often.

On the grand continuum of using those anti-germ products, I stand closer to the “don’t care so much” end.  Don’t judge!  I’m a clean person, just not overly concerned.  I don’t eat off the floor, but I don’t bleach everything and use hand sanitizer all the time.  It’s just not me.  I also have pretty tough antibodies and don’t get sick very often.

I’m not saying I’m better, but I am saying that getting sick once in a while can actually make us stronger and more able to fight off the next wave of illness.   Now, don’t come over and sneeze on me just to teach me a lesson.

We humans also tend to be a bit trialaphobic: trying to avoid trials, challenges and suffering at all costs.  Is it that deep down inside we think that will help us avoid them even more in the future?   Or that life will be easier, more comfortable? Continue reading →