There’s someone in our family who over the last few years has drifted away and become very quiet, going through some tough times. I admit, we didn’t try hard enough to stay in touch, to care, to reach out during those times. I’m ashamed of that. I’ve asked forgiveness for that from this person but am not making much headway. In the last year or so we’ve tried harder to get in touch, send emails, call, reach out, getting no response. I’ve had dreams in which our family and this person are reunited and reconcile all the differences. I’m hoping that’s one of those dreams that becomes a “deja vu” moment later in life. You know when you have a deja vu moment and think “I swear I’ve dreamed this before.” Does that happen to you?
Anyway…lately I’ve been getting kinda mad that this person won’t respond. I mean, come on, I’m trying! The least they can do is try back. We used to be close years ago. We’re family, for pete’s sake. Continue reading
I think I eventually convinced her that although she didn’t know at the age of 4 what she would need to know 15-20 years down the road it was okay. She wasn’t supposed to. It would come later. I tried to help her see that growing up was fun and good, that she would like it and that it’s just what happens naturally to all of us.
This morning I had the thought that if we could get a higher altitude view of life, especially in the moments when we’re mired down in the weeds or mud of a tough circumstance, it would make it easier to go on. Imagine walking through a late summer corn field when the corn’s taller than you are, following someone who is cutting a path or design in the field. From the ground’s perspective it would all look very much the same: rustling rows of green corn stalks as far as the eye could see. If you could fly up above the field and look down, however, you’d see the design taking shape. You might even have an “Aha!” moment, smiling and saying, “I get it now.”
It’s good to get away but always good to get home. However, as we were getting ready for bed last night I found myself feeling grumpy, out of sorts. I asked myself why. We just had a great week, learned lots of good things, had nice time away together. What do I have to be grumpy about? I’ve been intentionally trying to have a positive, faith-filled attitude about everything, but some emotion I’ve been pushing down bobbed up to the surface. As I lay down to go to sleep, in my head I told God, “It’s not fair, God. 
Time for an emptying of this too-full bucket of thoughts I call my brain.
Over the two years we worked together he became a really good friend. He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls. One night they had us over for dinner. We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn. It was such a lovely night. I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary. 
Along the Narrow Path 