Author Archives: therealmimi

Not all it’s cracked up to be

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shia“Sometimes I feel I’m living a meaningless life, and I get frightened. … I don’t handle fame well. Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew, I’d fill it, and I’d be on my way. … Actors live dependent on being validated by other people’s opinions. … The good actors are all screwed up. They’re all in pain. It’s a profession of bottom-feeders and heartbroken people.” —23-year-old Shia LaBeouf

When I read this I was so sad. It’s another reminder that outward appearances are so deceiving, and that everyone needs real love. Sometimes we make negative judgments about people that seem from their appearance to be down and out, or dirty, “naughty”, not so smart, irresponsible, etc. I guess we need to be careful not to judge the other way either and assume that someone who looks amazing, handsome, well dressed, is famous, or gets raving reviews is happy and has a good, fulfilling life.

This quote from Shia sounds like a cry for help, a correction to people’s assumptions that actors/actresses, those being stalked by paparazzi, those who are applauded for their talents and looks by the masses, are just as empty inside without God as anyone else. I hate it that he says “If I knew, I’d fill it”. Someone who loves Jesus needs to share God’s love with Shia LeBeouf! Famous people seem far off and unapproachable when it comes to one of us ordinary believers sharing about Jesus…as if their fame and status makes them less likely to listen or want to hear something good and hopeful.

Everyone needs God’s love, no matter how many people have a poster of them in their room, no matter how many movie tickets they sold, no matter how many cities they’re touring, no matter how high up we exalt them. Their heart is the same as mine and yours. Their soul is hungry like mine was before I knew God through Jesus. They feel loneliness that they can’t really explain or escape without the life-giving relationship with their Creator and heavenly Father. I hope God will reach out to Shia today through someone who is a Christ-follower.

I hope God will give the believers in Shia’s life compassion and a wake-up call to share hope and good news. I hope this happens for all the celebrities that are shining stars on the outside and hurting, broken souls on the inside.

Randomizer

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The last time I posted a bullety, random post I accidentally deleted it.  Here’s to not accidentally clicking the wrong button anymore.

  • I say cautiously that I think we may have kicked the bed bugs out for good.  It’s been 3 days since we’ve seen one.  Our friends who lent the personal steamer said we can keep it for a while, just in case.  Thanks!
  • My 14-year-old nephew has arrived from Phoenix at the Indy airport and is awaiting my husband and two older daughters who are picking him up.  He’s here to visit for a week an we’re so excited!  He’s one of the neatest kids I’ve ever met. Ever.
  • One of the bonuses of the bed bug “experience” is a super-clean (at least for now) townhouse.  Ahhhh.  Rugs are clean, base boards are clean, all the blankets and linens and clothes are clean.   Now if we could only keep this up.  Yeah, right!
  • I’m reading I Samuel right now and was curious when I read that once Saul had disappointed God, God sent a tormenting spirit to give Saul a hard time.  I didn’t know God would do things like that.  I asked John what he thought and he said maybe God was punishing him.  Hmmm…     Told you God was a mystery!
  • I was all concerned about my youngest the other day but God has really been answering prayers and showing in clearly visible ways that He’s able to break through and speak to her, guide her, and love her – even without my advice or help.  It sure does this mom’s heart good.  Thank you, God!
  • I’ve been really busy and working hard since…well…it seems like forever… especially last week and over the weekend.  As a result I’m realllly tired.  I feel good but just tired.   I keep hoping one day I’ll get a day all to myself, no kids at home, no husband, just me, the quiet animals, and Jesus.  Now THAT would be something.
  • I so need to get back into an exercise routine.  It’s amazing how quickly the body shape changes and muscle turns to flab when you just sit around.  Crazy!   It would probably help if I stop eating ice cream.
  • John just preached about trusting and obeying God under pressure and today I felt a lot of pressure.  I am trying to trust and obey!  I think God decided I needed object lessons to go along with that message so I’d be sure to understand and internalize the idea. 
  • We’re still waiting for someone to rent or lease to own our house in Missouri.  It is taking forever!  That’s another thing we keep waiting and waiting on, trying to fully trust and know God will do something sometime.  I wish we could go see it for ourselves and make sure it’s okay.  It’s hard being 5 hours away – it costs more for us to make a trip over than ask someone to clean the yard for us, etc.
  • I tried something new at McAlister’s today for lunch – a harvati sweet chipotle chicken panini.  Try saying that ten times fast!  It was delicious!  I love it when trying something new has good results.  I’m such a creature of habit, ordering things I KNOW taste good.  I felt adventurous and daring today evidently.
  • My doggy has a tumor the size of a small loaf of bread on her side!  The vet said it wasn’t cancerous (at least it wasn’t at Christmas time) and we can’t afford to get it removed so she looks rather lumpy and lopsided, poor thing.  It doesn’t seem to bother her.  She’s so sweet.  I love her.  What a great companion.
  • The new Christy Nockels CD is so good!  You should give a listen sometime.  I especially love the song “By Our Love.”
  • Once Curtis gets here and I give hugs, I’m going to bed!  I’m pooped!

Take 15,330

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clapboard1sm copyThe alarm clock sounds, I drowsily hit the button and sit up in bed.  I can almost hear it:  the clacking sound of God’s clap board as he gives me a new day.  Today He said, “Take 15,330!”  Lamentations 3:22-23 tells me, “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.   Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”  That means that every morning I live with God I have a fresh start, a new take, a clean slate.

God wipes the sin and mistakes from the previous day away and forgets.  He doesn’t hold them over my  head or rewind the blooper reel from the day before and say regretfully, “Wow you botched that didn’t you?” or “yesterday you lost your temper,” or “You know, you didn’t do what I urged you to do right then.”    Instead He says, “I love you!  Good morning!  I’ve got some great things planned for this day, wanna hear about it?”

Sometimes the enemy tries to unearth past sins and hurts to distract and discourage me but the Bible tells me that God casts my sins as far away from us as the east is from the west.  When I ask forgiveness, they’re gone.  Gone.  They’re not there to hinder me in this new day.

My mom wisely advised me as a young mom to wipe the slate clean for my girls every day, to not hold past day’s tantrums or disobedience against them, to extend mercy to them.  It was one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten.  Jesus would agree with her.  In one of his most well-known messages He told us one way to be truly “happy” is to be merciful, just as God is merciful to us.   So, in the morning when you wake up, thank God for your clean slate and wipe the slate clean for your family and friends, for everyone you have relationship with.  Even if they haven’t asked you to.

However many days you’ve had so far, listen for God’s voice and big clap board as he says “Let’s do another take.  Start over!  It’s a new day!”

“…His unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west.
The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.”   Psalm 103:11-13

“Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.”  Ecclesiastes 11:7

You didn’t expect that did you?

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susan-boyleMany have seen the You Tube video of Susan Boyle, a middle-aged single woman who appeared on the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent”.  When she walked out onto the stage the judges practically rolled their eyes with contempt.  One could almost hear their thoughts, “What on earth is this frizzy-haired, plain-faced woman in an old-fashioned dress and heels doing here?  She’s way out of her league.  Delusions of grandeur, here we come.”

Once she opened her mouth and began to sing their judgments were proven premature.  A strong beautiful voice came from this unlikely performer, a voice and interpretation of a song that touched hearts and moved some to tears.  So much for judging someone based on their appearance!  The co-hosts who stood backstage looked at the camera and said to viewers while smiling, “you didn’t expect that did you?”

For some reason humans are so quick to make judgments, usually based on what we see in a split-second.  Think about it, the next time you drive down the road or sit in a mall watching people, pay attention to the label-making that goes on in your mind as people walk or drive by.

David_anointedI read this morning in I Samuel about the anointing of King David.  King Saul had proven to be a disappointment to God so God told Samuel He was going to choose a new king.  Samuel went to the house of Jesse, a man with seven sons.  Six of the sons walked in front of Samuel – tall and strong, strapping young men.  As each one passed Samuel thought, “Surely this is the one” and each time God said “Nope.”  Continue reading →

Bed Bug Brouhaha

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Have you ever encountered something that made you wonder, “Why, God?  Why did you feel the need to create this?”   A few things come to mind:  mosquitos and roaches top the list of course.  I’ve even pondered and snickered over the fact that when we expel gas from our bodies it makes a funny noise, whichever end it escapes.  That just confirms to me that God is funny – He’s the inventor of humor.

The newest addition to the “No purpose at all” list is bed bugs.  They don’t go on the “funny” list, however.  Somehow my family and I have been invaded.  We don’t know where they came from or when, just that they’re in our townhouse and we’re trying to get them OUT.

These little pests bite us for our blood, like mosquitoes, only crawling instead of flying.  They start out as practically invisible eggs, then teensy white or yellow “teenagers” until they turn reddish-brown as adults.  They leave behind little black specks of excrement – a tell-tale sign that they’ve moved in.  Lovely isn’t it?  The tricky part is until you see the signs you don’t know they’re there and that could be weeks after they’ve made a home in your home.

Apparently they can live for almost a year without eating (!) and are so thin and flat they can hide in cracks in furniture or door frames, even under carpet seams.  They can withstand temperatures ranging from freezing to 113 degrees.

They don’t flinch at most pesticides but steam seems to do the trick.  It’s hot enough to roast ’em.   We had to pretty much empty our girls’ room and our room, strip the beds, wash everything in hot water, bedsheets, clothes, blankets, pillows, curtain…everything.  We’ve thrown away two box springs so far.  An exterminator came out to do a steam treatment and will probably come out again to help us make sure we’ve gotten them all.

If you travel and stay at a hotel, peel back the sheet corners and look at the seams of the mattress for the little black dots or worse, the actual bugs.  They seem to especially like congregating at the head of the bed.  I’ve heard that although once thought practically eradicated there has been a resurgence and even in some of the nicest hotels they’ve shown their ugly little selves.

We’ve been trying to find the good in this ordeal and so far the best I can do is say that our apartment is now really clean, our linens are all freshly washed and clean, and we’re educated about bed bugs.  The latter is my least favorite “finding the good” lesson.   Thankfully they don’t hurt you or make you sick – -they’re just plain creepy!  Once I realized I had been sleeping innocently in my bed while not a foot beneath my head on the box spring they were gathering and strategizing I got a severe case of the heebie-jeebies.

Be aware and check beds when you travel.  Don’t set your luggage on furniture in hotels, maybe the edge of the bathtub or one of those luggage stands.   Just giving you a heads up.   I’m sincerely saying to you, “don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

I haven’t figured Him out yet

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God, who made this expansive, mind-blowingly big universe chose to create life on this little ball of dirt called Earth.  Then He chose to love the little fleshly beings who were made in His image.

These little beings, who are irritatingly fickle, turn away from God too many times to count but He keeps taking them back, never once proving fickle to them, but faithful to His promise.

God shrinks himself, all his massive glory and power, to be contained by a tiny zygote which becomes an embryo, which grows into a baby and is born to a human woman.

This baby grew into the man named Jesus, who was fully God and fully man at the same time.

Mary and Martha grieved over their brother’s death and wondered why Jesus didn’t come when they first told him his friend Lazarus was dying.   He waited for days.  Of course when he did come something greater than just healing happened.  Lazarus got a second chance at life.

One night the disciples panicked as a tempest just about washed them into the sea.  While they tried to bail out the water filling their boat Jesus slept peacefully at the front.   It wasn’t until they woke him up that he did something.  He silenced the storm with a word.

Jesus told his followers that unless they ate his body and drank his blood they had no life in them.

Jesus promised eternal life if we trust in Him.  Eternal!  No end?!  Sometimes just thinking about it makes me afraid because I can’t wrap my mind around the concept.

A young mom is miraculously cured from stage 4 cancer.  Her family rejoices in awe and celebration.  Her husband and small children will get to keep their wife/mom.  Three years later the cancer recurs and soon after takes her life.

Christians around the world are beaten, tortured and killed for their faith.

A couple who has prayed and prayed and PRAYED for a baby cannot get pregnant, no matter what they try.  Another couple who weren’t planning on having any more kids gets pregnant.

I’m celebrating with friends of mine who put their house up for sale and in two days have it sold!  They don’t even know where they are going next or what they’re going to do.  I ache for another friend of mine who has had her house on the market for months, her husband living in another state for his job.  They are apart, they have prayed and prayed…nothing.

I have choices when I am face to face with something I don’t understand about God.  I can become bitter and angry, I can lose faith and think He’s not who He says He is, I can wait and watch, I can keep praying even if the silence from heaven is deafening, I can trust, I can feel sorry for myself, I can be jealous of other’s answered prayers, I can be thankful for having what I need today, I can look for a lesson and hope to grow through it all, or I can withdraw and give up.   I’m sure there are many other choices or possible reactions, good or bad, right or wrong, helpful or destructive, in times like this.

space-stars471The truth is God is a mystery.  I cannot fully understand Him.  When I read about the massive size of our universe, the millions, billions and quadrillions of light year miles between galaxies and stars, and then think about our tiny planet and little lives in comparison, I’m blown away and bewildered.  What kind of God do I really serve?  How big is He, really??  How does He know each of us, hear my voice among all the others in prayer, or orchestrate good outcomes for my life?  How is that possible??

If I had a god I could explain completely would I respect and revere Him?  Would having a small god only as wise or knowing as me make me trust Him to answer my prayers the best way?  Would having a god with limitations give me hope?  Would a god who only loved as much as I do on one of my best days cause me to willingly surrender my life to Him?

Instead of becoming indignant when God is “slow” to answer my prayers or answers in a way I didn’t expect, what if I embraced the mystery of my God and continued to trust Him?   Continue reading →

Soar New Ravens Soar!

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Kimmi with her new laptop!

Kimmi with her new laptop!

We’re home now from our weekend at Anderson University and Kimmi is officially an AU Raven!  She signed up for classes, got her ID picture taken, met new friends, bought a t-shirt and hasn’t stopped smiling since we left the campus.   I got to see several friends of mine that I’ve known since I was in college who work on campus as faculty and that was fun.  There are a lot of good people there – that makes me even more confident in sending my girls into their care for a few years.   During the parent session this morning the admissions staff had each of us tell our name, where we’re from, the name of our child, their major and what made them choose AU.

The overwhelming majority said their student felt welcomed when coming to campus, felt special, received individual special attention from the admissions staff and friendliness from current students.  It just goes to show that a warm, welcoming environment and intentionally making others feel like they really matter goes a long way.  I’m proud to be a Raven alum.  I kinda wish I could do college again – 4 of the best years of my life!

One of the presenters told the kids that over their high school years they grew a lot physically and changed a lot in that way, but that during the next four years they will change so much on the inside.  How true and how beautiful!  It will be exciting to watch the unfolding of Kimmi’s future and the shaping God does in her heart and life.

I came home to our downstairs full of stuff from our upstairs – what a mess!  We are fighting off some bedbugs.  I’m almost embarrassed to admit it but it’s true.  I guess they can show up anywhere these days but it always makes me think of people who live in squallor.  We don’t, I promise!  We did have to throw away two boxsprings, are washing and drying all bedding and clothes from the rooms where they were found, and super cleaning the floors.  I wonder why God even created bed bugs!  Seriously.  What purpose can they serve?  They bite us to get our blood, they don’t help anyone, they’re not even cute.   One good thing coming out of this mess for us is the super cleaning our apartment is getting as a result.  An exterminator came and steamed everything, which is apparently one of the only things that will kill the little pests.  I know we’re supposed to thank God for EVERYTHING so I told him the other day “thank you for bed bugs.”  Did He say we have to be sincere when we thank him for the not so lovely things in life?

All in all – we still are so blessed with more than we need.  Today we have had enough of everything and we always have God.  Hopefully we will have no more bedbugs!

Fly Butterfly

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blue-morpho-butterfly-518617-ga

I drove out of Anderson to go home tonight and was surprised at the lump in my throat.  Kimmi’s staying overnight at the SOAR weekend at college, scheduling classes tomorrow, getting officially ready to start this fall.  We’re one step closer to her moving out, gradually shifting from one stage of family to the next.  Thankfully we’ll have several years to adjust as the other two move through high school and beyond.  Watching Kimmi graduate was fun and exciting but surreal.  Wow.  We’re really here, she’s really 18, life really is moving on.

It’s another reminder to me to live in today and enjoy what’s going on right now.  I’m determined not to get too emotional and miss the fun of this weekend for my girl.  Nicole C. Mullen wrote a song I love about moms blessing their daughters as they go out into the world.  The lyrics go like this: Continue reading →

Kimmi, Kimba, Kimberly, Kimmi-kimmi-koco-bop

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kimmiToday my first-born is going to walk across her high school gymnasium’s platform and accept her diploma. She is passing a milestone in her life and we get to watch her do it! I’ll watch with pride but I’m also feeling disbelief that we’re actually at this stage of life, curiosity about how our family dynamics will change now that we’re moving slowly out of the Klotzfive at home scene, sadness that she’ll be increasingly on her own and less a part of my daily life, and thankfulness for her bright mind and healthy body – that God has brought her this far and blessed her.

As I look back in my mind over Kimmi’s life I remember when she was so eager to read and write that she copied words from toys and books onto a little notebook we gave her. We found it one day with lots of scribbling but then very leglibly on one line the words “Made in China.”

She embraced school, reading, art, music, projects, friends, class plays, physical fitness tests and field days, and the whole sha-bang with joy.

I think it’s a natural tendency to compare our kids to ourselves when we were their age, but I’ve seen in Kimmi so many beautiful differences from when I was in school. She’s developed a real love for literature, especially Shakespeare. Rather than being saturated with music classes like I was, her loves have been reading, art, tennis, writing and most recently photography.

I’m not sure how I’ll react tonight at the graduation ceremony. I don’t know if I’ll get teary-eyed or just try to stay in my seat with an adrenaline rush of excitement at her accomplishment and bright future. There will be lots of video and picture taking, that’s for sure. To top it off her sister will be following right behind next year, barely giving John and I a breather from this life-changing phase we’re in.

Here’s to you, Kimmi, Kimba, Kimbalina, Kimberly-girl: We’re so proud of you and know God has some beautiful plans for your life! We let go, we trust you, we trust God to take care of you and guide you. We will always be here for you and will ALWAYS cover you in prayer. Congratulations, Kimberly Ellen Klotz! WOO!!

Grandma came to see me

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Last night I dreamed I was at some meeting or seminar with my boss and his wife, Cindy. Each morning of this seemingly week-long meeting, my grandmother (who died over a year and a half ago) came to see me, gave me a hug, said some encouraging cheerful words and left. On the last day of the meeting (somehow I knew this in my dream) I realized it was also the last time she was coming to see me. I sat with my boss and his wife at a table, feeling a lump grow in my throat. Cindy asked me, “You’re going to really miss her aren’t you?” I began to cry, not able to hold it back anymore. I awoke and was actually crying a little on my pillow.

I do miss my Grandma. It’s funny how weeks will go by and I won’t think about it much, but then out of the blue a memory of her will surface or an odd, wonderful dream like this one and the pain of her not being there anymore bobs to the surface.

What will my daughters and hopefully grandchildren remember about me someday when I’m gone, not coming to see them anymore?

The first things that pop into my mind when I think of Grandma are her joy for life, her love for Jesus and openness in talking about him to anyone and everyone, her cheerfulness and often humorous enthusiasm, her smile, her loving pet names for us like “dolly”, and her faithful, tenacious love. I knew she was behind me 200% no matter what. She made sure of that.

So it doesn’t surprise me that she’d make a cameo appearance in one of my dreams to remind me how much she loves me. I look forward to the day when I’ll get to hug her again, kiss her soft cheek and see those twinkling Norwegian blue eyes. I won’t have to miss her anymore.