Author Archives: therealmimi

Dead or Alive?

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I was so happy the forecast was wrong on Saturday.  What was supposed to be a rainy, gloomy day turned out to be mostly breezy and warm, with only a few showers here and there.  With all the rain and humidity around here lately the grass, flowers and trees are extremely happy and show their bliss by their deep, vibrant greens and bright colors and by growing like crazy, even overnight!

  I worked in the yard for several hours, my biggest project an overgrown row of bushes near our back door.  This row of bushes appeared to die last year, but about 2/3 of it came back and is green and happy this year.  While I was snipping off dead, gray branches here and there a prayer rose from my heart, “make the dead alive in me, God, in my daughters, in my husband, in our church. Only You can make new, living things from old or dying things.”

He reminded me that if we want to remain alive and healthy and growing, we have to stay attached to Him, the true Vine.  If we aren’t attached, we’ll be trimmed off and thrown away, just like I was doing to these dead branches.  I did see some branches that were gray and dead on the end, but had new buds and some green growth closer to the main stem or branch that was rooted in the ground.  God can bring life where it looks like it’s too late, where it seems the best thing to do is give up and throw away.

I hope this encourages you like it does me.  Jesus said, “Remain in me, let my words remain in You…”  I’ve been dwelling on how I can remain in Him.  I asked Him to show me, too.  How do you remain in Christ?  Are you dead or alive?

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. (‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭5-8‬ NLT)

Unexpected gift

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Standing holding hands on one side with a dear friend and on the other a new friend, I looked at the other women in the circle around the room. It was quiet. We were going to be led in prayer for God’s Holy Spirit to fill us anew, to relight dwindled fires in our hearts, to do whatever He sees fit to do. Our leader was walking quietly around the circle, sharing a few words, her voice low but strong. She paused in front of one woman and spoke encouragement to her, then stopped to pray with another woman who needed physical healing. I bowed my head, looking at the floor, thinking about all I had learned over the weekend.

On the first night, we heard stories of transformation, of lives that were changed dramatically by God’s love, changed so they could show Jesus to other people and live out their true purpose, changed to live in peace and grace.  I had struggled through the worship/singing time to focus on God because I’d been focusing so much during the day on my concern for my girls and their future with God.  

I’ve let go of that concern before (like every day) but that night it was as if I couldn’t do it. It was a heavy weight pulling down on my heart. I asked God why it was so hard this time and the answer was very clear: “You don’t trust me.” I felt terrible. God has done so much for me in the past, why don’t I trust Him more right now? I remembered a father in the Bible who brought his troubled son to Jesus for healing and when Jesus asked if he believed He could heal his son, the father replied, “I believe, but help my unbelief.” I prayed the same.

Saturday morning the lesson stung a little, too. As we sang songs, a friend walked over during the songs to hold tight to the young lady standing next to me who is facing some really hard times. I had been so caught up in myself I wasn’t thinking about other people hurting and needing encouragement. I asked God to forgive my selfish attitude. It’s not all about me, I remembered.

Sunday morning I was enjoying the songs and being with everyone, but still feeling a little distant from God, numb in a way. When the offer was given to come forward for several different prayers I walked to the front with others. I’m taking steps, God. I want You to help me be what You want me to be. I need You.

All these thoughts swirling in my head stopped when I felt a hand grip my shoulder and looked up to see the steady, unblinking gaze of the prayer leader. It’s important to note that I had just met her the day before, she didn’t know me. But, she was talking to me.  “You have a tender heart. You’ve been going through some things, feeling discouraged, sometimes like you even want to give up.” Whoa, I instantly realized it was not just this woman speaking, but God through her. “You may have even thought, ‘God, are you hearing me?’ And God wants you to know He sees you, He’s with you. Things are going to start turning around for you, things are changing.  You just worship and praise God with all your heart. Worship Him, trust Him. If you don’t see it right away don’t be discouraged, don’t look for it and ask ‘Where’s it at, God?’ just worship Him.” I was fighting tears but kept looking into her eyes that never looked away as she said, “I see freedom, as if things are falling away, off of you.” She took a step back, never breaking eye contact and gestured with her hand as if taking something down from my shoulder as she continued, “Some things aren’t turning out the way you thought they would, some things in your family need healing, relationships, some who you’re concerned over, comparing yourself to others, discouragement…it’s all falling away. You just worship and praise God.” 

As she walked away I bowed my head again, dissolved into quiet sobs. The strain, guilt, fear, pressure, and hurt was washing off of me, leaving me feeling so relieved and at peace. 

I felt such love and reassurance – God spoke to me. To ME. He KNEW I needed a sign of His presence with me, a tangible reminder that He’s trustworthy and always at work answering prayers, even those we can’t put into words.  And His message wasn’t a rebuke, it was an understanding and compassionate exhortation. Discouragement from ministry, concerns about the future, parenting, stressful work stuff, forgetting God’s acceptance of me and not having to earn His love…it had piled up and only God could move it for me, push it off of my heart, and help me up.

Since then, whenever fear tries to creep back in, I hear God’s voice saying all those lovely words again and I remember that moment. When I told my mom about it she said, “That’s your Ebenezer.”  In the Bible, after God had granted victory to his people, Samuel set up a stone and called it “Ebenezer: God has helped us,” so they wouldn’t forget. The words of an old hymn say, “Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I’ve come.”  I will never forget, God: You see me, You know me, You love me, and You have helped me.

Who, not what

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I’ve sung the words before but last night they were more real to me:

“There’s nothing worth more than would ever come close
Nothing can compare, You’re our Living Hope
Your Presence, Lord

I’ve tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves,
When my heart becomes free and my shame is undone…”
(Holy Spirit, by Jesus Culture)

John and I have been reading and doing the study by Francis Chan, “Forgotten God,” about the Holy Spirit. Last night’s lesson was focusing on what the Bible tells us about God’s Spirit.

There is a LOT of mystery with God, with His nature, in the Trinity – a lot I will never fully understand. What stood out to me as we read about the Holy Spirit is the reminder that He is a person, not a thing. We have likened Him to things sometimes: like electric power to plug into, like a force of strength to rely on, and more. But He is One to relate to, to converse with, to love and learn from. He is God’s Spirit with us constantly, knowing us completely, assuring us we are God’s children. He is the One who draws us to God in the first place. He lays heavy conviction on our hearts for things we’ve done wrong or ways we offend God, but then readily sets us free from those sins when we turn and repent.

As we prayed together last night, the realization of Holy Spirit’s nearness washed over me. How often we walk through each day feeling alone or that God would come if we called Him, when He is there the whole time! Luke 11:13 says that God, being the best parent ever, will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask. Sometimes that verse has made me think of God giving an object, but thinking of it as God giving you a person makes that verse more precious and the gift so intimate and incredible.

And if Holy Spirit, part of the Trinity, is God, God’s presence with us and in us, we should worship Him with the same awe, fear, reference, love, and thankfulness as we do God, the Father, and Jesus, the Son. We should humble ourselves just as much before Him constantly, in amazement He would give grace and stay with us! He is not a lesser servant of God sent to help us, He is GOD.

My heart cries out, Papa. Thank you for this gift of Your Holy Spirit, a gift I have taken for granted and even sometimes ignored. Your Presence gives peace and hope like none other! To be loved and accompanied on this path by One who knows me through and through and loves me, is willing to lead me and teach me, and has good plans and purpose for me…thank you, thank you, thank You. I love You, Holy Spirit. I want to know more of You. Be so loud in my life that I can never forget You are with me.

“Let us become more aware of Your Presence…Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for, to be overcome by Your Presence, Lord.”

I’m so glad I have problems

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rocky pathThe path we walk when we follow Jesus has potholes. This isn’t a complaint, it’s just the truth. The path is not a wide, paved, beautifully landscaped street but more like a rocky, narrow, twisting, sometimes harrowing trail that is downright difficult to walk at times. It will push us to our limits and beyond, test our resolve, even bring us pain. There are times we might even question, “why did I agree to come this way?”

Jesus never said it would be a stroll in the park, but He did say not to lose heart when we we’re having trouble because He’s overcome the world. (John 16:33) Following someone who’s overcome the world – pretty good credentials, don’t you think?

I’ve lived long enough to be able to look back and see that the path we’ve covered so far has made my faith stronger, though sometimes it takes me a minute (or more) to remember that when I’m in the middle of tough terrain.

James said we should actually be glad in our troubles, because of what they do for us. “When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4 NLT)

It’s one thing to persevere through hard times, it’s another to actually be glad about them. If I say to someone, “I’m so glad I’m dealing with this difficult person and that they’re hurting me,” they’d probably look at me like I had two heads. But God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways. There’s no doubt about that. He doesn’t allow us to have difficulties just so He can show He’s bigger than we are, or just to have us grovel at His feet needing help. Each problem has a purpose: to make us more like Jesus and to witness to God’s goodness and glory.

Before a potter shapes clay or even puts it on the pottery wheel, he pounds it and throws it down numerous times on the table to work out any air bubbles that might be inside and would later be a problem. Before precious metals are formed into valuable objects of beauty, the refiner heats the silver or gold to melting (over 1800 degrees fahrenheit!) and then skims off the impurities as they rise to the surface.

In both cases, the creator is present and personally involved through the whole process.

Feeling like you’re taking a pounding? Or being melted down in a crucible, completely helpless? Sometimes our faith feels like a rubber band that is stretched so tightly it might break. The thought of trusting God one more day is exhausting, and then He asks us to trust another day after that.

Can we praise Him anyway? Can we trust Him? Can we remind ourselves of all He’s done for us in the past? Does knowing He promised He will bring good out of everything for those who love him help us surrender? Some days I enthusiastically answer “Yes!” Some days I have to confess to Jesus that I don’t have the strength on my own, I need Him to help me to believe. Praising Him raises our gaze to Him again and helps. It truly helps. We can have peace that steadies our weak legs and can make it through.

I tried to express this to a friend who was losing someone she loved. It felt almost insensitive to encourage someone to thank God in everything when their troubles are so personal, so deeply painful. How do you tell someone to be glad that they’re having to deal with that? The act of giving thanks in difficulty is part of the refining process. That decision alone can be excruciating.

All I know is that God proves Himself loving and good when we give in and praise Him even in that kind of loss. He shows understanding and compassion. He knows the deepest places of our hearts. It was too hard for my friend, but I still pray God will show her how much He loves her and that she can trust Him.

The end result of trusting God and even thanking Him through troubles is worth the pain. I don’t want to stay the same, do you? I don’t want to walk an easy path if it’s without Jesus. If problems help refine me, then I’m glad I have them. I will try to remember to thank God when they come. I want to grow and reach my goal: to be with God forever and ever, without blemish or fault, without any more struggle with this world or myself…free and home.

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. (I Peter 1:6-7 NLT)

My one word

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Somewhere I read about how some choose or ask God to give them one word to focus on this year, a theme for their walk with Jesus in 2015. I hadn’t even asked God yet and He gave me my one word.

During the Christmas season last month a phrase from Scripture kept replaying in my heart and mind: “What is impossible for people is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27 NLT) Jesus said that to the disciples and I can imagine Gabriel might have said it to Mary when He brought her the staggering news that God’s Son would be born into the world through her small, human self.

Though doubt and discouragement have been nagging companions dragging their feet and distracting me, my one word causes me to let go of their hands and look ahead, to look up squinting in the bright light of God’s presence in front of me and all around me. There is more, and it’s good. There is hope and promise and it’s all God’s doing. It’s not up to me, thank goodness.

I am so limited, short-sighted, plagued by fickle yet powerful emotions that can change moment to moment and blind me. My one word is already becoming a beacon back to the path God has for me, an enthusiastic shout to look again at Him, a crucial reminder that it’s not about me and my limitations don’t dictate what God can or cannot do.

My one word is “possible.” I want to live by that word this year. I want to seek out the lessons I can learn, the greater faith God can help me grab hold of, the grander view of more of the eternal in this short life, the freedom from myself when I continually acknowledge Him as the One who CAN.

He once asked Abraham, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” Now He’s asking me.

No, Papa, I know nothing is impossible for You. Keep tight hold of my hand and keep my eyes open to all that is possible, with You.

The power of perspective

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The word perspective comes the Latin word “perspectus” meaning “clearly perceived.” It’s been defined as a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance; as the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see. [1]  

Perspective can mean looking more carefully or thoroughly at a person, structure, event, or situation (and more) – to step outside of our own subjective viewpoint and see something or someone more objectively.  Getting perspective in relationships is crucial, being willing to try and see from someone else’s viewpoint or “stand in their shoes” is key.  Sometimes all it takes to get out of a slump or rut is a change in perspective.

It’s a choice, this all-important perspective, to not just look but see, to allow more information and defining insight to shape our view.  If I take the time to gain perspective, I see that someone who hurt me is actually feeling very hurt and therefore lashing out.  That perspective helps me to stop feeling sorry for myself and have compassion, to show grace instead of hold a grudge.

Perspective can be a gift, given by someone who can share with me viewpoints I’ve never considered or some I’ve forgotten.  It helped me see a new friend in a new light, to realize how he might have extra need of friends, of belonging in a place where he is clearly the minority and is far from home.  He shared that most of us here have people or our own race to hang out with, have people who speak our native language to talk with, have the food we’re most accustomed to available to us, and forget that someone from another place may not have those things.  That can all be easily taken for granted.

Perspective helps us to see, if we allow God to show us, that our stunted, defective, incomplete view of who we are is not the whole story.  I believe God will give us, if we ask Him and open our hearts and eyes, bits of His perspective of our souls, our worth, our potential, our future.  We are so short-sighted and our view one-sided.  We need perspective.

God has been prodding me all week, reminding me of these things.  It is not about me. If it is I’m missing so much, like sitting inside on one side of a door that would let me out into wide, spacious, fresh air freedom and not taking the initiative to open that door.

He has to give it to me, and I dearly want it…precious perspective.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”  Dr. Wayne Dyer

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.  Colossians 3:1-2 The Message

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in his shoes.

[1] Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition
© William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins
Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012

Forever young

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Shady treeI’ve gotten in the habit of calling our dog “puppy.” It started, of course, when she was a chubby, furball of a puppy, and I just kept it up. It’s a term of endearment for our very fun, lively, playful dog. It seems to suit her, even though she’s now almost 1 1/2 years old.

I heard someone ask the question lately, “How old do you feel? In other words, if you didn’t know how old you were, how old would you say you are?” I said probably 35 or so. I still feel like I did back then, even though I’ve seen a number more birthdays than that! How would you answer that question? Continue reading →

My Dear?

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Recently I was browsing Bath & Body Works – I love that place – and a nice young girl came over. “Hi dear, is there anything I can help you find?” I was put off right away. Dear? It felt a little condescending. I feel the same way when someone younger than me calls me sweetie or honey. Just a pet peeve of mine. On especially fiesty days, I feel like saying, “Listen chica, I’m old enough to be your mom.”

Last night my daughter was listening to a worship song I hadn’t heard before. I walked from the kitchen where I was washing dishes out to where she was listening at the computer. “Did they say, ‘I love you, my Dear?'” “Yep,” she answered. I hadn’t thought of saying that to God before, possibly because of my association with that word and maybe because of my somewhat silly pet peeve. “Is it okay to say that to God?” I was thinking.

As I listened to the rest of the song, I understood. The writer was expressing passion, devotion and love to God, who loves us so fiercely and faithfully. I looked up the word “dear” in the dictionary and found that it can describe someone or something as beloved, cherished, precious, treasured. It’s an expression of fondness and affection.

I needed to think outside my “worship box.” That’s a good thing! There’s nothing in Scripture that indicates we shouldn’t think of God as dear. In fact, He describes Himself as the Bridegroom who died for and will come again for all of us, the Church, His Bride. There’s no greater love. He surely thinks of us as His beloved and we are most certainly treasured by Him. Why else would he number the very hairs on our heads, hem us in with His Spirit and presence before and behind, be with us all through the night as we sleep, waiting and ready to greet us as we wake? Why else would He step up to the horrible task of sacrificing Himself for the likes of us?

It is bewildering to me that He loves us so. It feels kind of strange to say to God, “I love you, my Dear” but as we sang “My Dear” in worship this morning, my heart was moved. I felt as if a window opened allowing me to tell Him what he means to me in a fresh, new way.

Those boxes in which we put God, our relationship with Him, our interactions with Him, and our understanding of Him, need to be opened and stretched, even taken apart. I’m so thankful for the way He did that for me today.

I love you, Papa, my Savior, my Healer, my Teacher, my Creator…

my Dear.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.  Song of Songs 6:3

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2

 

Well, hello

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I haven’t posted on this blog for over a year!  For several years I was blogging all the time and then I just sort of stopped.  I didn’t feel inspired or compelled.  I even thought, why would people want to read what I’m thinking?  Am I so special or unique in the way I write?  There are so many blogs, so many magazines and articles online, so many writers.

My original purpose, which is still true, was to encourage people: to help them feel less alone in their doubts, questions, struggles, and the everyday walk of life, to share what I’m learning in hopes that maybe it will help them.

This summer a few friends told me that the brief things I post on twitter (which then posts to facebook) had encouraged them and to keep on posting.  That blessed me and made me realize that if I enjoy writing, if it helps me process what’s in my heart and mind, gives me an outlook for self-expression, and if even just a few can relate or gain some encouragement, then I want to keep blogging.

This weekend I was extremely blessed and encouraged by someone else.  This person shared his testimony with me, how he was caught up in habits, friends and a lifestyle that was detrimental and that pulled him away from God.  When arrested one night and sitting in the police station, he says he heard God say loudly and clearly, “This is not what I planned for you.”  He knew that he needed to turn back to Jesus.  He says that when he did everything changed. Jesus helped him get away from the things that were dragging him down and gave him purpose.  Now he is closer to Him, more on fire for Him, well on his way toward the plan that God has for him.

There are some people I love who are struggling and need to hear God’s voice loudly and clearly.  They need direction.  Through my friend’s story, God reminded me to trust Him and believe that He can and does change hearts, speak, help, redirect and nothing is impossible for Him!  I asked Him to forgive me for my times of unbelief when I slip back into worry mode, and told Him I trust Him.

God is not just some person that likes to help people. The entire universe is enveloped by Him!  He has always been, is present now, and always will be.  He is limitless in love, power, knowledge, and mercy.  He made everything that exists and yet cares about each person.  I don’t understand it, but I’m thankful!  He never changes and never goes back on His word.  We can trust Him.  Nothing is impossible for Him.

Be encouraged!

“With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”  Mark 10:27

When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—
    the moon and the stars you set in place—
what are mere mortals that you should think about them,
    human beings that you should care for them?  Psalm 8:3-4

Pressing In

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Just like a little child, held snugly in mom or dad’s embrace, leans in as close and snuggles her head against them as much as she can because it feels safe and she feels loved, so I feel the need to press into Jesus.

“Press in” sums it up well for me.  It’s a choice to lean toward, to draw close, really close, to even lose myself in Him.  This morning, I had the mental image of a stick of butter taken out of the fridge and put into a hot frying pan.  If I press on it with a spatula, I can watch it melt, the golden yellow edges softening and liquifying.  

As I press into Jesus this morning, I’m thinking and praying, “Please, Jesus, melt me away.  Please, soften my heart, change me.”

I’ve heard a song recently that says, “I need a little more Jesus, and a little bit less of me.”  Well, I need all of Jesus and a whole lot less of me!  A little bit is not what I’m after.

I need my whole self transformed, melted, changed by Him.  It’s not in me to persevere the way He did, to love and have compassion the way He did, to remain focused the way He did, to risk and give everything like He did.

I’m pressing in.

Oh, that we might know the Lord!
    Let us press on to know him.
He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn
    or the coming of rains in early spring.  Hosea 6:3