Category Archives: Experiences

You know, stuff I’ve experienced.

God said, “I’ve got this”

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My girls are very often on my mind and in my heart, just like every mom, I’m sure.  Our roles have shifted some now that they’re young women and more on their own, but I still hope they are okay and want things to work well for them.  Whenever I start fretting about it or something that’s going on, God reminds me to stop it.  He says to me, for the upteenth time, “I’ve got this, Mimi. I can take care of your girls.”

He told me that again Monday morning as I was getting up and getting ready for work.  Thinking about my daughter, Kaitlin, I was praying for her and God told me to just keep trusting Him to guide her and be with her.

Well, a few hours later at work I got a phone call that she had been in a car accident on the highway and was on her way to the hospital.  Driving 65 mph, she spun on ice, ending up horizontal to traffic, nearly got hit by a semi while spinning, then got crunched by a car on her side of her car.  Thankfully and amazingly, she ended up with only a cut on her head, no broken bones, no other serious injuries.  Two women stopped immediately to see if she was okay.  One called us, the other one who was an EMT, got into Kaitlin’s car with her, laid her back in her seat, got a towel for her cut, and stayed with her until the ambulance came.

Whenever I think about those two ladies, I want to cry and hug them and thank them but I’ll never know who they are.  I couldn’t be with her, but God was with her, sending those two sweet strangers to help.  He had it under control, even without my help.

I really have felt utterly helpless this week as I’ve heard more about the accident.  I have never wished so strongly that I could teleport to where she was.  My heart ached.  I wasn’t able to help her at all or be with her at all, but others were and she is doing fine. God keeps telling me, “Look how I took care of her.  I told you, you can trust me.”  She’s navigating through it all and growing up a lot in the process, I think.

God is able.  God is there.  He is good and loving.

Could I say those things if Kaitlin had died in the accident?  Or she had been paralyzed? In time, I believe I could, because it’s true.

I believe that when bad or scary things happen to those we love, God has not turned his head but is with them, very near.

Whatever the outcome, I believe He works things for good for those who love Him, and says to us when we start getting anxious, “You can trust me. I’ve got this.”

Trust God, my friends,
    and always tell him
each one of your concerns.
    God is our place of safety. Psalm 62:8 CEV

Praying in Color

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I bought a book recently that intrigued me and I love it.  It’s titled Praying in Color by Sybil Macbeth.1  In it, she describes a new way to pray, by drawing and/or doodling.  To some it may sound silly, but I tried it for the first time this morning and it was wonderful.

I’m sure you already know there are all sorts of learners: visual, auditory and kinetic/moving being the three main styles.  Some people learn best Continue reading →

I just want to be where You are

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I woke with a song in my head this morning, a song we sang in church quite a while ago.   The words of the chorus say,

I just want to be where You are,
dwelling daily in Your presence
I don’t want to worship from afar,
draw me near to where You are

I just want to be where You are,
in Your dwelling place forever
Take me to the place where You are,
I just want to be with You.              (by Don Moen)

I haven’t heard that song or thought of it for such a long time but my heart rummaged around and found it in the back of my mind, then started singing without me before I even woke up.

I got up and went outside to my favorite spot on the porch and sat down.  “Here I am, Lord” I prayed again.  Immediately I heard in my heart, “I see you and already know you’re here with me, because I was with you as you slept and watched, waiting for you to wake.  I always know where you are and I’m always with you.”

I realized, as I have before (but you know how I have to be reminded things), that quiet time with God is not going somewhere to be with Him because He’s always with me, but it’s going somewhere to be with only Him.  It’s drawing myself apart from distractions and other people, saying with that action “I love you, God, and want to be with just You right now.”

My devotional echoed what God had told me, that nothing can separate me from His loving presence.  Nothing.  And, since I have absolutely no control over the things that happen in my life or in the lives of those I love, I can just trust Him and relax in His presence all throughout my day.

What greater thing do I have to be thankful for than that?!  Thank you, Papa, for your presence with me always.  Help me to remember that, to be more aware of You, to be tuned more finely to Your voice and Spirit.  Thank you for loving me.  I always just want to be where You are.

I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me….

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me.   –  Psalm 139:7-10, 17-18

I’m trying

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I started out for a walk this morning, camera and iPod in hand, but the little clouds of gnats everywhere eventually convinced me to head back to the house and try again later.  Instead, I sat on my parent’s porch in my new favorite spot, watching the busy flurry of birds at dad’s feeders and listening to their many different calls, along with the far-off mooing of a cow.

“I’m trying, God,” I prayed, “I’m trying to just be still and be with you.”  My thoughts started wandering to the things we did yesterday, my girls, the future, the things we’re planning to do today and so on.  I was frustrated with myself.  “I’m trying to just be still, God.  I’m here.”  It almost felt like he said, “What are you expecting to happen?”

“Well, I would love for you to help me stop thinking and just be.  I would love for you to tell me things.  I would love to feel your presence, feel closer to you.  I want to know you better, Papa, be closer to you.”   The quiet sound of the morning crickets and the busy birds continued.  Then I looked past the birds and saw the mountains behind, far off across the valley.  They are bluish-purple this morning with a crown of fluffy clouds resting on top, the sun lighting up patches here and there among cloud shadows.

A song came to mind, the words taken from Psalm 121.

“I lift my eyes to the hills, and I wonder, ‘from where comes my help?’
My help, it comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let you stumble, He will not let you fall,
The Lord is your keeper.
The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon at night,
The Lord will guard your life.”

Maybe sometimes it’s not the receiving of an amazing message from God that draws us close, maybe sometimes it’s just sitting there available.  Maybe it’s just remembering that He is my Maker, He is my Keeper, and enjoying the peace of that thought and truth.  He is with me, whether I hear his voice in my heart at this moment or not, whether I feel the emotional warmth of his nearness or not.  He is near.

I pictured Jesus sitting next to me and longed for Him to actually be there so I could lean against Him.

“I’m trying, God.  I want to be near You.  I want to hear Your voice.”

Vacation, what a wonderful word

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My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” Psalm 27:8

We left early yesterday morning for the airport and had smooth flights all the way to Tucson, Arizona, where my parents were waiting with big grins and open arms at baggage claim. It was sunny and hot as we walked to the car, just like I love it, and I was pinching myself.  Mom and I started yakking from the moment we hugged and hadn’t stopped yet.   Continue reading →

Thankful Thursday 1 day late

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Oops, I almost forgot about Thankful Thursday this week.  It is Friday already isn’t it?  And Friday’s almost over.

I’m thankful that I feel so much more at home in my church family than I did a year ago – we were so new here last Easter.   I’m thankful for love, for people who gather to remember Jesus in taking the Lord’s supper, for hearing the story again that I’ve heard so many times but still tugs at my heart.  I’m thankful for imagination and how it helps me picture myself at the table with Jesus and his disciples; Continue reading →

Sunday

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Today I’m thankful for:

  • Another sunny, warm day with blooming redbud, pear and crabapple trees, daffodils, tulips, birds at my bird feeder (and of course my nemesis, the chipmunk) and in the little birdhouse on the wooden post in the yard.
  • Last week during church we had the opportunity to write prayers or praises on pieces of paper and attach them to a cross on the platform.  Today a woman shared enthusiastically during the service that God answered that prayer she offered last week.
  • I got not one, but two hugs from Miss Esther today at church.  (A classy, lovely, elderly friend who always makes sure to give me a hug before she leaves each Sunday.)
  • Time to plant pansies and snapdragons in pots on my back porch and hang up a wind chime, with only the sound of the birds and the occasional car driving by out front.  My outdoor chairs are cleaned off and ready for some good quiet times this spring and summer and hopefully chatting with friends.
  • Eating tacos and snacks with the people in our life group, laughing and talking about our favorite grocery stores and food.
  • Spending a couple of hours with four little boys while the adults had Bible study and prayer.
  • Swinging them on the tire swing, tossing a Spiderman Ball and Flippy Flyer, whacking trees with stick swords, and running around the green grass in the warm evening breeze.
  • Getting snuggles from a 3 year old while watching “Bug’s Life” while the boys start to quiet and settle down.  I miss those kind of times when my girls were little.  I had forgotten how nice it was.
  • Eating some strawberries dipped in chocolate.
  • Enjoying the last couple of hours of the weekend before I will happily sink into my comfy bed and sleep.

Many of the good gifts God gave me today were unexpected and came in surprising ways.  What a good Sunday.

Sunday Morning

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I was nice and warm and comfy when the alarm went off.  It took a few hits of the snooze and kicking myself in the rear to actually get out of those toasty covers and get dressed.  Goin’ to church today, like every Sunday, all my life.

Why do I go?  It’s more than just a good thing to do, or a habit.  There is something encouraging about spending time with the other people in my church community.

There is something really uplifting, healing and even fun about singing songs with other people about God and to God.  Music is one of my biggest loves so I especially like this part of church and always have.  Today we had a horn ensemble playing as special guests and during one particular song I could just picture Jesus in heaven being honored by a royal fanfare of thousands of angels playing trumpets.  I remembered He is King of kings and Lord of lords and is deserving of the best music we can make, the best praise we can muster.

There is something affirming and reassuring to hear someone give a story of how God has helped them or worked in their life.  Today two men offered stories.  One told how praising God constantly through fear and possible cancer diagnosis kept him steady and hopeful.  The other shared how in the midst of turmoil and breaking relationships God told him in many different ways not to give up, Continue reading →

Give Me Jesus

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Have you ever eaten lots of “junk” and sugary stuff to the point that the next time you feel hungry you crave real food – meat and potatoes, home cooked, hot, delicious and nutritious real food?

That’s a pretty good description of how I feel (the feeling seems to have grown in the last few years) when I watch some of the Christmas shows and movies on TV or hear some of the songs that are played over the Muzak at work.  Not bad, not offensive, just no real substance.  There is that one song that for some reason makes me want to shoot the speakers with a BB gun.  You may have heard it, “last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special…”  It kind of sets my teeth on edge.

For me it’s not enough to say Christmas is about children, snow, cookies, Santa, shopping, giving gifts, or about family, or about being kind, or about helping homeless or needy people.  Those are all good things but there’s so much more.

I feel a suppressed frustration, almost anger, that the meaning of Christmas has been diluted so much by some in our culture.  To cut Jesus out of Christmas for me is like asking me to survive on a diet of nothing but marshmallow fluff. Continue reading →

Sometimes the grass is greener in the past

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When Kimmi first went to college, the school advised the students to stay on campus once classes started for at least six weeks before going home for a visit.  The purpose behind that recommendation is that it helps them engage with the other students and the college community as well as cutting ties with home a bit (getting used to being away from home).  I think it’s a great idea and though it was a hard adjustment at first (probably harder for me than for her), it did help Kimmi step into the college phase of her life more on her own.  She began “leaving” the phase of life she had with us at home – an important, necessary step to growing up.

When first away at school it might be easy for kids to keep wanting to go home and be in the familiar, comfortable situation they just came from.  Looking back, the grass might seem greener at home in the past where their high school friends lived, where they were comfortable in a home church and so on.  If they’ll turn around and look forward, however, step out and give it time, they find that independence, new friendships, experiences, possibilities and more can become their new “normal” and be pretty exciting.   They can change and grow, becoming more and more of who they are meant to be.  The world opens up in new ways that they wouldn’t have known if they went back and stayed at home.

I realize that sometimes when I look back the grass looks greener in the past.  This past weekend we went “home” to Indiana to attend our college homecoming weekend, see our college girls, and attend church where we did when we lived there.  We saw many old friends, enjoyed beautiful sunny fall weather, were blessed by a moving, encouraging worship service at church, and spent some really good quality time with our daughters.

John and I both agreed today that a little part of ourselves felt like it would be nice to go back there to stay.  It was comfortable there for us in many ways and we have lots of dear friends there.  We fit in and knew our place.  We have a lot of history there, too, all the way back to before we got married so of course it feels like home.

If I am honest when I look back though, Continue reading →