October is typically observed as “Pastor Appreciation Month” in churches across the country, so I thought I’d share a few words of appreciation to the pastors that have made a difference in my life. Continue reading
Pastor Appreciation
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Category Archives: Experiences
He was there
I got my diagnosis on my mom’s birthday. That just doesn’t seem right does it? My surgery was that Friday, only five days later. What a whirlwind week it was. My parents dropped everything and drove to St. Louis to be with us, even though my dad was a pastor with a busy schedule. I don’t remember how many days I had to stay in the hospital, I think only two. I just remember with clarity an early morning blood draw to check my white cell count to see if I could go home.
Shortly after the lab tech left the room, my dad walked in. He was carrying his garment bag and told me he was about to go back home but wanted to come see me first. While he was with me, my surgeon, Dr. Billy, came in to tell me that my levels were low and I was going to have to stay longer in the hospital. My heart sunk into a fearful thought that there might be more cancer. Then Dr. Billy noticed they had drawn blood out of the arm that had an IV and it had diluted the blood sample. He had them come back in and draw from my other arm, it was okay, and I was able to go home!
It may not sound like a big deal, but it helped so much that my dad was there. I didn’t have to be alone through that brief unsettling moment. He was thinking of me that morning and wanted me to know. He was there because he loves me. What did I do to get my dad to love me? Continue reading
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Didn’t see it coming
10 years ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001, hundreds of people went to work or about their morning routine in the city like they did every other day. They didn’t know terror and tragedy were on the way, or that they would soon face death. They didn’t see it coming.
8 years ago, on the afternoon of September 8, 2003, I received a cancer diagnosis from my surgeon. I felt fine and had no unusual symptoms besides a small lump in my breast. I didn’t see that coming, for sure.
About a month ago, here in town, a young couple riding on their motorcycle on a beautiful sunny afternoon was crushed between two SUVs because the driver coming up behind them at an intersection was intoxicated. They left behind small children and many shocked, saddened family and friends. They certainly didn’t know that was going to happen.
I could list story after story and we’ve all heard it before: none of us knows what will happen tomorrow, or even in the next hour. Time is far more precious than we usually realize or remember. Just reminding you as I remind myself.
Kind of makes the silly things I get upset about trivial and ridiculous: like the self-checkout clerk being a bit too chatty and helpful Continue reading
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Life with the wonder cats
Look at him, that little – I mean BIG chubber over there, just laying on the floor. What a rough life. We’ve always been “dog people” until a few years ago when Rocky decided we 
belonged to him. We heard meowing outside and pawing on our front door. When we opened the door, he just strolled in as if he’d lived with us for years. We sent him back out but day after day he hung around, came out of the bush by the front porch to be petted and charm us with his cuteness until we finally gave in and let him come inside for good.
Our doggy went to doggy heaven last fall so now we are “cat people.” I never thought that would happen. I have to admit I was a little prejudiced before, thinking cats were not as good as dogs, but I’ve grown quite attached to our two furry felines. Continue reading
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The handwriting was on the…card
I’m sure in every job there is pressure to get things right, to not make mistakes, but it seems in a doctor’s office when people depend on other people who depend on other people to get patients scheduled, signed in, in to see the doctor and treated in a somewhat timely manner, there is extra pressure. Add people’s busy schedules and often stressful lives to the mix and the pressure to get it right is multiplied.
I help make appointments as one of my duties. It’s a simple task but if I’m not careful little mistakes can turn into big, embarrassing problems.
One day a nice gal came into the office and up to the counter, saying she had two appointments that day: One with an ENT doc, and then with the Allergist downstairs. I looked on our list and didn’t see her name. I told her no problem, we’d check the other computer program that has the schedule on it. She wasn’t there either. I did an inquiry into appointments made and she had been there a few weeks earlier but there was nothing else listed. I asked her if maybe she got mixed up. She said she had the appointment card in her car, the one showing she had these two appointments on it. She went out to get it.
I turned around to look at my friends who also work up front and make appointments. We didn’t really say anything but we were all hoping it wasn’t our handwriting on that card when she came back in. Someone gave her the card and forgot to put the appointments in the computer which was a big deal because she probably wouldn’t get seen that day. She had taken time off work and everything.
Well in a moment she came back in Continue reading
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We really are so much the same
She could barely keep two feet on the ground as her mom paid the bill and made the next appointment. She giggled with a grin so wide I could see practically all her teeth, and bounced up and down on her toes, looking all around excitedly. This girl exuded joy! Why? She had just gotten her new hearing aids and could hear everything more clearly than ever before. She had been nervous and hesitant, not knowing what it would be like, but I could tell she was glad she decided to give them a go. Watching her was so much fun. I felt buoyed up by her happiness. I joined in the fun, rustling my papers and clicking the keyboard, “Can you hear this?” “Yes!” she exclaimed with bright, happy eyes. It was easy to laugh and smile with her and her mom.
I remember getting my first pair of glasses as a 2nd grader and being able to see details, tree branches outside, and that there were actually things and people in the distance instead of a bunch of blurs. I remember Christmas mornings with my brother and sister, family vacations, my first real kiss, falling in love with John, having our baby girls, and so many more of those moments that made me want to bounce on my toes and not stop grinning.
Then there was the patient who came out after getting not so encouraging test results. Continue reading
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Root Canal Spirituality
If you know me, you expect me to draw some lesson or ponderings from my root canal experience last week, some correlation with my faith. But, of course! Far be it for me to disappoint.
The whole reason for my root canal was a dead tooth with an abscessed root. That is just plain nasty. Infection set in and caused pain so I finally took action. There was definitely a problem that needed fixing or I would keep hurting and possibly even face more serious problems.
I went to an expert, a man who’s gone to years of schooling and obviously had lots of practice already performing this endodontic feat of fantastic-ness. He was quick, confident, and kind and I felt I could trust him right away. He knew what he was talking about and what he was doing.
His assistant was just as sharp, right there with every tool he needed at the right time. They worked together like clockwork, in tandem, to finish the job for me and get me all fixed up.
There were a few foibles, like one time the assistant accidentally dropped a tool and they had to get a clean one. Then a particular tool kept malfunctioning and causing him to have to repeat small steps until he got a replacement that worked properly.
I was wishing I could watch the whole procedure from their point of view, Continue reading
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A mighty little tooth
I had a nagging feeling for the past few months but I didn’t want to acknowledge it: a tooth, already crowned a few years ago mind you, was infected and needed attention. Having spent enough at dentists to buy them each a car I really didn’t want to make an appointment to check it out. I finally sought help when my sinus filled up and the whole left side of my face started throbbing in pain as if saying, “Enough with this foolishness. There’s infection in here and it has to go!”
Fortunately I work in a place where people are skilled at helping people with their ears, noses and throats. I walked back from the front desk and became a patient. Tests revealed, sure enough, that one side of my head was clear, the other was full of gunk and it was all thanks to that little tooth. The people I work for went into action doing what they do so well and took care of me. Dr. sprayed my nose to numb my throat and then put a little scope in there with a light at the end to look around. I got a shot in my bum, not in my arm, because doc said the steroid might cause “fat atrophy” and leave a little dimple. I had the thought that maybe he could give me a whole slew of those all across my bum then if it might make fat disappear!
He prescribed antibiotics and even gave me a referral to his dentist, saying I could drop his name when trying to get an appointment. Relief was in sight, thanks to their willingness to stay after hours and help me.
That nagging little tooth told me a long time ago that there was a problem but I just pushed that thought back and kept on keeping on, hoping somehow it would just stop being infected, stop feeling weird and eventually stop hurting. Walking down that path of denial, I ended up with an ouchy sinus infection.
It makes me think, what nagging feelings do I have about not so great habits, or not so healthy tendencies that I could address now before they cause big, painful problems?
God, help me to listen to my heart and to your voice if you tell me something in my life needs attention and transformation.
Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalm 139:23-24 The Msg
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A time for tears
For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Tears have many purposes and fulfill their purposes in countless different circumstances. They mysteriously express for us the overflow of our hearts and somehow relieve pressure that has built up inside, whether gradual or sudden.
Saturday I was privileged to participate in the Race for the Cure again, this time walking with a new friend who is a new survivor. Being a part of that day is always really interesting and often moving. There are so many stories represented by the people walking. Some are celebrating, some are mourning, some are rejoicing over beating the disease, some are proudly walking in memory of someone they loved who bravely fought but succumbed. Many of them pin papers to the backs of their shirts that express their reason for walking: “I walk in celebration of my mom, a 10 year survivor” or “I celebrate life” or “I walk in memory of my sister” and so on with hundreds of different messages and reasons. One said “I celebrate ME.” Glad to be alive, we are, all of us wearing those pink t-shirts. This day always serves as a reminder of how blessed we are and always fills me with gratitude to God. Tears filled my eyes as I silently spoke to God in my heart, “Thank you, God! Thank you for sparing me and allowing me to live.” Then there are questions that sometimes come, too, “Why was I so blessed to live?” I don’t want to take one day for granted.
During an inspirational song at the beginning of the day, Continue reading
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You won’t believe what happened to me yesterday
I was standing in the checkout line at Wal-Mart yesterday — had my things on the little conveyor belt, waiting patiently. There was an older lady in front of me that kept looking back at me. I smiled and then looked the other way, but she kept staring. It became pretty awkward. She had a lot of stuff and it wasn’t long before I’d already scanned every headline of the magazines in our aisle and looked at every package of beef jerky and candy bar 3-4 times.
Finally she actually walked back to where I stood in line and she said, almost tearfully, “I apologize for staring, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You just look so much like my daughter, who died not too long ago. I can’t take my eyes off you.” I wasn’t expecting that and I’m sure my facial expression was comical. She quickly opened her wallet and pulled out a photo of her daughter who’d died. I honestly didn’t see any resemblance but she seemed so moved. We chatted a little bit while her groceries were rung up.
This is the crazy part: She then said to me, “I’m sorry, I have to ask you. Would you mind, as I leave the supermarket here, would you mind saying ‘Goodbye mom’ to me? I, I know it’s a strange request but it would mean so much to me to hear it.” My stomach did one of those flip-flops when something just plain weird happens, but I felt sorry for her so I said “uh…okay.” And so, she got her groceries all checked out and as she went out the door she waved at me. I said sheepishly and not very loudly, “Goodbye mom”. She smiled and left and I was very relieved. Strange…
The cashier rang up my few things as I waited for the total. She smiled at me very warmly and said, “That’ll be four hundred and seventy-nine dollars.” “WHAT?! There must be a mistake. How in the world did you get that total from these few things?” She replied, “Well, you’re also paying for the groceries for your mother. She told me you’d take care of the bill for her.” Oh. My. Gosh. “That’s not my mother!!” I said as my heart started beating faster and realization of the lady’s con job swept over me.
The confused cashier said, “But I distinctly heard you say as she left the store ‘Goodbye Mom’!” I looked frantically out into the parking lot and saw she was still just getting into her car – so I bolted. I left my stuff at the register and ran out there as fast as I could. She saw me coming and tried to shut the door really fast but a little bit of her leg was still sticking out of the door when I got there. I grabbed her leg and started PULLING it! No way was I letting go of this lady! I wasn’t paying over 400 bucks for her stuff! I kept pulling her leg and pulling…
Just like I’m pulling yours right now…
Along the Narrow Path 