We walked into the gym greeted by friendly faces. We were about to try Zumba. I’d heard so much about it and was dying to see what it was all about. My daughter and I knew that it involved dancing and probably some hip action and knowing that isn’t our forte made our way to the back row. The music started, nice and loud with an infectious tribal sort of beat, and we began to warm up following the motions of the teacher way up front. She stopped after that song and said she couldn’t hear well – the speakers were right over her head. So she grabbed her stuff and marched through the crowd of ladies to the other side of the room and instructed the group to turn around. That left Kaitlin and I on the front row! I think I heard her say, “Oh crap.” Continue reading
Category Archives: Experiences
Day 19 – A time to praise
1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NLT
One activity is missing from that list: Praise. Maybe it’s because it is always the time to praise, no matter what else is happening, no matter what other time it is or what other activity is right for that time. There’s something about praise that changes the heart’s attitude, that lifts the spirit, that centers our utmost self and settles us.
This morning as I went to work my heart was heavy, like a big, dripping wet towel. The weight of fear, anxiety and sadness seemed to even weigh me down physically. I took deep breaths and sighs, felt like I was a little piece of lead sitting in my desk chair. It was an effort to smile and greet my co-workers and people in the building. My dear friend, Jenene, asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her and I agreed. She is a patient, loving, listening friend and let me splutter and spurt my frustration, hurts and bewilderment all over her. As I did the pressure lifted. All that pent up “stuff” coming out of my heart made room for peace and a sense of “ahhhhh.” I remembered not to take everything quite so seriously. I remembered that God is in control, that what I face is not different from just about everyone else, and that I wasn’t alone in any sense of the word. My heart decided that it’s a time to praise.
I praise God for:
- Showing me in a few small ways that He is at work. When I can’t see what He’s doing I start thinking He’s forgotten or is taking too long or got busy helping someone else. When I start thinking that, God says “now is a time to wake up and have faith!”
- Giving me some quality time with my youngest making muffins and talking after supper.
- For reminding me as I woke up this morning that His mercy is new every morning and that I need to give my daughter a clean start each day, too.
- For the beee-you-ti-ful sunshine and warm air today! I actually drove home with my window open. Now that is awesome.
- For quiet time this evening with no TV, no noise.
- For a good jog and the legs to carry me.
- For my family, home, pets, stuff, job, and everything else that makes this earthly life tick. Thank you, God!
- For God’s amazing goodness, purity, unchanging nature, strength and wisdom, power and might, artistic ability and imagination. There is no one like Him!
- For music to sing along with.
- For my sister and mom and the fun phone conversations we have.
- For possibilities.
- For a boss who, when giving a reference, was a true advocate for me and my hubby and almost threatened to cause a ruckus if we were knowingly welcomed into an unhealthy situation. I’m blessed to have a boss who is also a really good friend.
- For coconut cream Easter eggs, as sugary and fattening as they may be. They are a little piece of heavenly cloud floated down to earth and put into a little white cardboard box.
- For hope in knowing my life is in God’s hands and I have nothing to fear.
Applause, everyone. Bravo, bravissimo! Shout God-songs at the top of your lungs!
God Most High is stunning,
astride land and ocean…
Loud cheers as God climbs the mountain,
a ram’s horn blast at the summit.
Sing songs to God, sing out!
Sing to our King, sing praise!
He’s Lord over earth,
so sing your best songs to God.
God is Lord of godless nations—
sovereign, he’s King of the mountain.
Princes from all over are gathered,
people of Abraham’s God.
The powers of earth are God’s—
he soars over all. – Psalm 47 The Msg
Day 18-19 Weekend
I’m sitting in the big comfy armchair in my parent’s family room surrounded by their two sweet doggies – Maggie, a gentle, black Scottie dog and Sophie, a snuggly little Bichon whose fluffiness reminds us of a Q-tip. The sun is brilliant outdoors and shining through all the big windows. My tummy is full of cereal and english muffin, with a splash of diet coke thrown in. My heart is full of relaxation and happiness, being in my parents’ home for a few days and enjoying the comfort of familiarity and their company. It’s so good to get away. Now that we have more flexibility on our weekends we thought we should take advantage of it and come over to see them this weekend and it’s been really good.
We went to the Saturday night worship at their church last night and so today are being lazy, sleep-in, bums still in our jammies. How’s that for a switch for a pastor and his family?
In worship last night God was so close. We sang one of our new favorites, “Glory to God” by Steve Fee. The words are simple but help me so much in focus in my heart – “Glory to God, glory to God, glory to God forever!” It’s all for Him. We also sang the song “Center” by Charlie Hall. I first learned/heard this song here at their church last year and after that we began to use it at New Life in worship. The lyrics, of course, are what move me and remind me of what’s important: “Oh Christ, be the center of our lives, be the place we fix our eyes…You’re the center of the Universe everything was made in You, Jesus. Breath of every living thing, every one was made for You. You hold everything together…” The prayer time was especially moving to me. A lady walked up on the platform with papers in hand and read a beautiful, heartfelt prayer that she had written. It was breath-taking. I would seriously love to have a copy. It was simple and to the point, but clearly coming from a heart that deeply reveres God, deeply loves Him and is rooted in His Word. At the end she was praising God with words similar to those of David in the psalms and my heart just overflowed into tears. What a lovely moment in God’s presence.
My dad is the pastor and his message was right on. He preached about how so many of us are approval addicts and how that’s contrary to what God wants for us. He asked the poignant question, “Who is in your jury box? Who are you playing your life to?” In other words, whose approval are you seeking? The only one whose approval matters is God but so often we find ourselves comparing ourselves, even becoming deceitful to impress others, or in bondage to “playing our lives out” to gain people’s stamp of approval.
The key according to dad’s message? Transparency and secrecy. Two things that sound like opposites. When we realize we have nothing to lose in being completely transparent because our only real audience is God we can be fully vulnerable and honest about ourselves. God already knows everything about us, our mistakes, hang-ups, flaws, and more. Being transparent is scary but freeing. Then you have nothing to hide. No need for any deceit or play-acting.
The secrecy dad talked about is the secrecy we’re supposed to have when we do good for others and are involved in our prayer life. Jesus said that when we give to others or do good we shouldn’t even let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. We only need God’s approval and reward, not the reward or “good thinking” of others who find out what we did. Also, when we pray and fast, we’re not doing it to gain applause or make a good impression, we’re praying and fasting to grow closer to God and become more like him. Then we can portray Jesus to the people around us, being completely free of the need to impress or the hunger for man’s approval. That is true freedom indeed! That’s what I want and need.
Who am I playing my life to? How about you? Who is in your jury box? Don’t fall prey to living your life to please people. Don’t live in that bondage. Be free in knowing you live in God’s love, He has already accepted You and approved of you if you’ve chosen to accept the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice and love. You don’t have to earn His approval. You can just fall into His love. That freedom makes me think of a wide, breezy, sun-lit prairie, spreading my arms out letting the tips of fingers swish through wild flowers as I run without getting tired, enjoying the life and fresh air of knowing that whoever I am, whoever God made me to be is okay and enough. This morning my heart is full with the sunshine of these thoughts and the peace of this weekend away. Thank you, Jesus. Glory to God!
“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Galatians 1:10
“Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.” Colossians 1:22
God’s good people are everywhere
I just had a blessing from God. I emailed a man who works in the dept. across the hall because it’s the “Education” dept for the Wesleyan church to see if he knew anyone at the Wesleyan Univ. where John’s applied for a bldg. manager job. I was hoping maybe he could put in a good word for John. Well no sooner had I clicked “send” then he came through the door, plopped down in the chair in front of my desk and asked me what was going on. He has always been really kind and nice when I pass him in the hallway. He was concerned to hear that John isn’t pastoring and wants to help, just not sure if he has the contacts over there that would help. He listened carefully as I shared, empathized with me and then prayed for us before he went back to this office. Wow. Thank you, God! What a blessing I received from this small act of kindness. God’s good people are everywhere – I really believe that’s one of the ways He is providing right now – through prayers and love of people around us. Praise the Lord!!
Day 11 – Restoration
When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I had to find a project to use up the restless energy that always accompanied my pregnancies. I decided to refinish a dresser. That’s right. How hard could it be? We had inherited a dresser from my mom and dad when we got married. It had been made by my grandfather years before when he was a missionary in Kenya and helped run a woodworking shop where the students at the Bible school there earned a living. It is huge and had been painted an antique sea-green color. I bought some paint stripper at the hardware store, got a scraper and thought it would be a breeze. You just strip off the old paint and put on new finish right?
It turned out to be a long, painstaking project. Those chemical paint strippers help but they don’t remove all the paint for you. You have to scrape and sand and scrape some more. There are grooves in the front of the drawers and those were especially tricky – getting all the paint out of the cracks and crevices so there was no trace of that yucky green. After the paint had been stripped, sanding had to be done and lots of it. Then it all had to be wiped down so there was no leftover sawdust to mar the shiny surface when I applied the finish.
It was beautiful when it was done but there were several days I thought about throwing in the towel. Good grief! Continue reading
Has it really been all about You, God?
As I sat on the piano bench a few Sundays before our last Sunday at our church as pastors, I felt that nearness to God that often comes to me when I’m singing, making music, and leading worship with my friends. There’s nothing like
music to lift me into God’s presence, to remind me of how beautiful, holy and amazing He is, to open and soften my heart. There is definitely nothing like music that enables me to express praise to God, to celebrate Him, to love Him. It’s just the way my heart and soul are wired, I think. Music is huge to me – always has been. I wonder what the spiritual connection really is when we sing for and to God? I believe God made singing/playing music spiritual and not just pleasing to the ears.
As I sat on the piano bench that Sunday a sadness crept up and over me as I realized this time of leading and singing with these particular friends and in this way was about over. Even as we sang, my heart was praying, “God, I don’t want to give this up. Continue reading
Green Pasture
Life has definitely taken a turn, things are dramatically different for us as a family. It’s hard to let go of something familiar, something you love, but now it is actually freeing to take our hands off and back away. We need some space but have such a mixture of feelings: love for friends but the need for our hearts to move on from a chapter God’s finished writing for us. We watch Him turn the page with some sadness, reflection, and fondness. It was a chapter wrought with change, quite a bit of stress and challenge, but also growth, much love and joy. Toward the end of it, some of the characters God had written in affirmed us and let us know that what we had been and done in these last few years made a difference. I hope many of those characters will also appear in the next chapters as we watch our life story keep unfolding, as God writes it one page at a time.
I was sharing with my mom how I was intent on staying close to these friends, keeping in touch, not letting things fade away. She understood but said, “be careful.” At first her words hurt a little – why would it be bad to stay close with these special people who had become so important to me? Continue reading
Get busy and wait
I’m becoming a waiting pro. I’ve had much experience, especially in the last 3 years of my life: waiting on answers to prayers, waiting on direction, waiting to become more like Jesus (I’m pretty sure that’s gonna last my whole life), waiting to see the plans God has for my daughters. Waiting is a big part of everyday life anyway: waiting at the doctor’s office, standing in line at the grocery, in traffic, on friends who are meeting us for lunch or coffee, for fun holiday family get-togethers, for vacations, on test results, for news from a job interview, for a newborn baby to arrive…it goes on and on.
Since it is such a part of life why do I become irritated when I have to wait? I think partly because it is a time when I have no control over the situation or the outcome. I feel I should be doing something to help the process along, whatever that may be. There are many things I can’t make happen any quicker than they are already happening. It is out of my hands.
I got to see first-hand the beginnings of a house being built on Extreme Makeover Home Edition this week. Continue reading
Ready to Help
I was ready, I was ready, I was waiting and I was ready….I waited some more. I wandered around and watched for the time they would need me. It never came! I was standing on the sidelines watching 30 or more construction workers building an Extreme Makeover Home Edition house in Kokomo. It was exciting to be there in person and see how this monumental task of building a house in 7 days really happens. All throughout the four hours I was there, I marveled at the amount of organization and managing of details that had taken place to reach that point. It takes many, many people, each doing their job the way they’re supposed to, working together to accomplish it. The great thing about it is that each person is happy to be there helping. They’re eager to use their skills and talents to contribute and be a part of the outcome for a deserving family. No one was doing things half-heartedly. There was a lot of energy in the air. I was wishing I had more construction skills so I could actually do something. We did get to form an assembly line at one point to help unload a truck. There were so many volunteers, each of us wearing our blue Extreme Makeover t-shirts and white hard hats, standing along the sidelines that they didn’t need all of us. I guess that’s a good problem!
How I wish the Church operated the same way: Continue reading
I see hope and a bright future
This morning as I awoke I saw the dim light of my alarm clock telling me it was time to get in the shower and get going. My little cat gave a “good morning” meow as I stepped over him, walking to the bathroom. I felt the hot water that soothed and awakened me at the same time, smelled the fresh scents of soap and shampoo. My mind wandered as I stood there and I said a little prayer in my head for John and for our church family. This would be a pivotal day for all of us.
I felt the chilly morning air on my face as we walked to the car. I saw a beautiful blue sky and the warm array of trees in various shades of yellow-green, orange and bright red zipping by my window as we drove along. My mind wandered to my church family again so I said another prayer, “God protect them, guide them, encourage them.”
When I walked into the church building, I heard the cheerful little voice of Nate, the 2-year-old son of my dear friend who was in the sanctuary finishing up the PowerPoint slides for worship today. “Hi Mimi, where’s Krissy?” I heard the clinking of metal as John and I set up chairs for the service. I felt a little hand on mine and Nate’s sweet voice again, “will you read this to me?” as he held up a toddler’s Bible story book. What a nice way to begin the morning, holding him on my lap and reading about how God created the world, elephants, butterflies and all. He had no idea what was going on in the lives of the grown-ups around him. Sometimes I’d give anything to be a little child again!
I heard the laughter of the worship team as they greeted each other. The sound of our voices blending together in praise soon filled the room, our hearts warming up along with our voices. God is good. We’re choosing to praise Him. I could almost hear their hearts saying these things aloud. I felt the familiar smooth keys of the piano under my fingers. Continue reading
