Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

I actually don’t like running

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John and I were jogging down the path this morning right into a gusty spring wind.  The sunshine was marvelous and being able to jog without having to wear a jacket or hoodie also made me smile.  For a while last year we were jogging about four times a week in the early morning before work.  We built up a pretty good endurance.  Then this winter we went pretty regularly to the exercise room at our apartment complex and ran on treadmills to keep up.  My enthusiasm started to wane there.  Running on a treadmill is so boring, even when I was listening to good tunes on my iPod.

Well, I’ve been a lazy butt the last few weeks.  I fought off a lingering cold for a few weeks and felt puny, then having stayed up late quite a bit didn’t want to get up early this week, telling myself “I need my sleep.  I can work out later.”  Well sometimes “later” never happens.

Today as we started out I felt tired much quicker and panted more than usual.  We had to take frequent walk breaks.  I was so frustrated!  I didn’t think I’d lose so much endurance in such a short time of not jogging.  It took months to build up our endurance and only weeks to lose a lot of it!  Good grief.  I asked John, “Do you think that’s kind of like our spiritual growth, too?  It takes a long time and effort to grow but can take very little time to go backwards and lose endurance?”

I really don’t enjoy running, in and of itself, but I like how I feel afterward and I like how it burns a lot of calories in a shorter period of time.  I could walk – and I may start doing that more.  It just takes more time.

Do you notice after a short time of not spending time with God or not reading His Word or not hanging out in worship with other believers at church that you slide back, feel like you’re losing momentum spiritually?  I may not always like the discipline it takes to grow, or like growing through change and difficulty but the constant effort seems to be really important.  Otherwise I find myself taking two steps forward and a step back.  What do you think?

Arms of God

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In the past week or so, God has hugged us and made us feel less alone through the arms and hearts of some people at the church we’re attending right now.  It’s a beautiful reminder to me that God has not forgotten, He has not gone away, and He loves.  Oh how He loves.

Who are we that we’re deserving of His attention?  Why should He bother to provide those types of things for us?  Who are we that we’re deserving of people’s prayers and time when they have so many other people in their lives and in their care?  It’s humbling.  Evidently all the parts of who we are matter to God and He provides for every need, big or “small.”

Never take for granted how much it may mean to someone just to have a kind word or hug from you, an invitation to spend time together.  Those seemingly small things fill my heart…I’m pretty much overflowing right now.

Thank you, God.  Thank you, friends who are serving as the arms of God to me and my family.

God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you’re ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it,

He throws caution to the winds,
giving to the needy in reckless abandon.
His right-living, right-giving ways
never run out, never wear out.

This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God.                II Corinthians 9:8-11  The Message

Live backwards to move forward

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Lose your life to find it.    (Matt. 10:38-40)

Die to live.    (Romans 6:3-5)

Leaders should behave like servants.    (Luke 22:26)

Rejoice when things are going wrong, in hard times.  (Romans 5:3)

Last is really first.   (Mark 9:35)

Love the haters.  (Matt. 5:44)

Being God’s servant is the only way to true freedom.  (I Peter 2:16)

When I’m weak, I’m actually strong.  (II Cor. 12:10)

Do you see the trend here?  Following Jesus feels as if we’re walking backwards; especially when we look around at the rest of the world and the way they’re walking and living their lives.   Living within the boundaries God sets, however, actually gives us freedom – to enjoy a better, guilt-free, peace-filled life.   It would be one thing to walk this way if we never saw the other way.  Continue reading →

So that…

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All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.  II Corinthians 1:3-5   NLT

All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too.   II Cor. 1:3-5 (The Msg)

My sister and her family swam against a powerful tide and swirling waters of grief, fear, hurt and the big blackness of the unknown and have finally come crawling out onto the shore of the other side – the other side of this particular storm.  Still dripping from their exhausting ordeal, my sis turned around to throw a rope to me as I swim through unfamiliar waters hauntingly like the ones she just stepped out of, sometimes feeling overwhelmed by the size of the waves, sometimes starting to lose heart.  Continue reading →

But it’s hard!

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I’ll admit it, I’m a sucker for talent reality shows, especially American Idol and Dancing with the Stars.  Some of my favorite parts are the “behind the scenes” moments when we see what really happens as the contestants prepare for the night of competition.  Last night on DWTS, several of the celebrities were complaining (and whining) to their pros/teachers that what they were trying to learn was too difficult saying things like “I can’t do it”, “It’s too much to learn” and more.  Shannen Doherty had asked her teacher to simplify the routine this week because last week the judges said she had not so deftly attempted a challenging routine for her first week out.  Her teacher, Mark, refused, saying, “No risk, no reward.  I’m not dumbing this down for you.  You can do it.”   Len, one of the judges, eventually said after hearing several of these stories that the celebrities needed to “Show up, Keep up and Shut up.”  They almost had to call the “waaaaaambulance.”

There were conflicts to be smoothed out, tempers to cool, moments to try patience, threats to quit, Continue reading →

Sure you can, but do you really want to?

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Would you accept a blood transfusion from someone with AIDS?

Would you eat brownies that had just a little bit of doggie poop mixed in?

Would you want to drink water every day that was laced with a little bit of arsenic?

Would you ask someone with a nasty case of the flu to sneeze right in your face?

You could do all those things, but do you really want to?  The Bible says that everything is permissable for us but it’s not all beneficial to us.  Why is that such a hard lesson to learn?  It seems to be one of those a lot of people have to learn the hard way, after negative stuff has stained their heart and life.

I know the enemy seeks to devour all of us but lately I’ve become acutely aware of the battle raging for my daughter’s heart.   Unfortunately when we give him an inch, well you know…  Continue reading →

Little gusts of wind

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It was another cold, dreary, dark morning that I drove through on my way to work.  At that time in my life I was sinking down into some depression, finding it hard to cope with ongoing stress and pressure.  I really couldn’t explain why otherwise.  It must have been gradual but that month I realized I could hardly get out of bed in the morning and didn’t even want to decide what to wear or put on makeup.  The least little thing brought tears to my eyes.   However, little things encouraged me, too.  For example, when I drove through McDonald’s to get my diet coke each morning there was a cheerful worker named Mary who took my money just about every day.  She’s short, a little rotund, has a tooth or two missing, but always has a kind, cheery voice and smile.  I was amazed how much her happy smile blew a little gust of wind into my droopy sail, even if all she said was “thank you, have a good day!”  I told her that day, “Your kindness and smile make my day.”

In better times, little acts of love are still a blessing.  Today at church during the worship time, we were singing along when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.  I turned around to see a friend’s smiling face.  Continue reading →

Inspired

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Dry bones.

That’s all I am, Lord, unless you breathe into me.

I want to live a life inspired, inhaling Your life-giving Spirit so that my lungs practically burst

Exhaling more of my self with each breath, expelling with crackling wheezes the filth of lies, faulty thinking, selfishness and sin

Your pure love and compassion swelling and beginning to flow in my brittle blood vessels, softening and revitalizing

Truth coursing through them invigorating and nourishing

Your power and grace forming muscle, enabling me to stand

Faith and hope spreading out in a vibrant layer of new skin, holding me together

My new eyes glistening with expectancy, bright and clear

My feet stretching and raising on tiptoe

My face bearing Your resemblance, upturned and clean

My hands raising in surrender, but also in praise to the God who is the beginning of all life

Of all real life.

Inspire me, God.  Breathe Your breath of life in me.

Then he asked me, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I replied, “you alone know the answer to that.”  Ezekiel 37:4

Notes from the last few days of class

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I’ve been learning a lot the last few days, thought I’d share from my mental “notes”:

Fasting from facebook has been good for me, but is sometimes difficult.  It’s just so fun to catch up on everybody and, I have to admit, play a few games in free time.  My 10-year-old niece added me as a friend (I got an email telling me) so I went on facebook JUST to add her.  I didn’t want her to think I was ignoring her – she doesn’t know I’m not using facebook right now.  My middle girl came downstairs while I was on the facebook page and asked me with hands on her hips, “Mom, what are you doing?”  Continue reading →

For Those Who Wait

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I was listening to my ipod during lunch today, sitting in my car while rain fell gently on the windows outside.  A new Fireflight song came on called “For Those Who Wait” and while I listened to the encouraging lyrics Isaiah 40:31 came to mind:

Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Notice it says those who trust (hope, wait) in the Lord will gain strength.  I take that to also mean “those who scramble about like chickens with heads cut off trying to control everything will find themselves exhausted and no better off than before.”   It’s in there, just read between the lines.