Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

Which Direction?

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My girls think I overreact when they drive recklessly or make a mistake on the road but they don’t realize that in those split seconds my brain immediately recalls the dumb stuff I did as a teenage driver.   I guess I could see how my sudden gasps while clutching the dashboard for dear life might appear as overreacting.  One memory of my early driving years in particular that makes me laugh now but then scared the stuffing out of me was when my sister and I were attempting to navigate the one way street maze that is downtown Indianapolis – at night.  I don’t remember what we were doing down there but at one point we turned left onto a street and started to head to the next intersection, only to look and see cars parked on the curb facing the opposite direction and a lady in the crosswalk waving her arms and pointing.  Continue reading →

PWYP

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You know how yesterday I blogged about loving the unlovable and how much I love my daughter even when she disobeys or does something that hurts me?  Well last night after swatting away (as gently as possible) a disrespectful attitude that was thrown at the back of my head by said daughter, I sulked into my bathroom to get ready for bed and felt God poke me on the shoulder.  I could almost see a smirk on his face as He asked me, “So, do you still love your daughter?”  I practically rolled my eyes at His question as if I had a feeling it was coming.  “Yes, I love her,” I muttered to myself through gritted teeth, “I love that little…”  (insert synonyms for “pain in the neck,” “toot”, “pill”…you get the picture).  Continue reading →

I love you

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A husband and wife sat together at the kitchen table in awkward silence.  They had decided, having trouble getting along lately, that perhaps they should share with one another the frustrations they had with each other by each making a list.  After some quiet thought and pencil scratching it was time to share their complaints.  The husband read his wife’s first. A long list of his faults filled the page, and then another page. Continue reading →

No Fear

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They said three days.  So why was I still waiting to hear from them?  Granted, Monday happened to be Labor Day, and of course the lab was closed that day, so that didn’t help.  If it was nothing I would have heard by now.  The not knowing was so hard.  If only I knew the situation fully I could face it, but facing an unknown, invisible enemy was awful and seemed impossible.  I could hardly keep my mind from trying to figure out or imagine what it was, what the outcome would be.  During that time of waiting, the anxiety was so intense that my very nerve endings seemed on edge, all over my body, as if fear was continually pricking my skin. Continue reading →

SCL

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I stumbled on the “Stuff Christians Like” blog a few months ago, thanks to a link my friend PJ had posted on his blog.  After reading a few posts, I was hooked.  This guy is funny!  At the same time he speaks truth – truth sometimes that stings just a little but is so, so necessary.  I subscribed to his blog and get his posts sent to my email everyday.  I’ve never regretted that decision.  I also follow him on twitter – and no, I’m not creeping on him or stalking.  I just think he’d be a fun guy to have as a friend.  And hey!  He put himself out there, okay? Continue reading →

Surrender

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“There is a God.  It is not me.”

(The first line of chapter five in the book I’m reading, “The Me I want to Be” by John Ortberg.)

What a great line – that should be my motto.  It’s the beginning of true wisdom.  To really live in relationship with God, we have to surrender.

Surrender is difficult: it requires a pushing down of my pride and that’s an ongoing battle.  I have to  admit I’m not in control and that if I really was it would be a disaster; that I need someone else to take control and “drive” my life – someone who is stronger and wiser.  It’s an act of denying my selfish wants, opinions, hopes and brilliant plans.  It’s a falling back and completely letting go, which is scary!  What if God messes up or isn’t paying attention or…?  Continue reading →

One

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Click the link below to watch a video – watch it all the way through.

One of those moments.

What struck me the most after seeing this is how much, how incredibly much, this man’s life was changed by the other man’s monthly gift of only $38.  It is mind-boggling.  I think I can understand why he was so overwhelmed to meet his friend and “savior” face to face.  To be saved from starvation and a life destined to be wrought with struggle and hardship, then set on a path to wholeness, hope, and purpose – how could he fully express his gratitude?  He had no words.  I would have no words.

Do we realize what we have been saved from by Jesus?  Continue reading →

New

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(I’ve lost track of which day I’m on.  I missed one here and there so no more numbered days on post titles!  I’m still fasting from facebook until Easter.)

Driving to work was cheering today since instead of gray foggy heaviness there was a wide open blue sky.  I so enjoy the artwork of God!  Many times the beauty of what He’s made draws me closer to Him and causes me to worship.  A few wispy clouds gathered around the bright orange disc of a sun, almost as if they were coaxing it to come up – up through God’s watercolor splash of soft orange fading to warm apricot then to faint pink then to clear aqua blue.  It was stunning.

I didn’t even pull my visor down but actually enjoyed the piercing light of the sun in my eyes, as it rose now fully awake, big and bold and enjoying its task of announcing a new day had begun.  New.  That word became my mind’s sole focus for the next few moments as I kept driving…driving into a new day.  “This IS a new day,” I could hear God say to my heart.  Continue reading →

Day 23 – Rainy

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On days like this my mood seems to mirror the outside, drippy and gray.

Breakfast with a good friend was an uplift and blessing.  Instead of withdrawing when I feel down, which is my tendency, I need to be with a friend and be a friend.

I often start cleaning when I’m thinking hard, frustrated, or need to release pent-up energy.  You should see my spotless kitchen.  I guess that’s one of the perks of parenting teens!

Oh, and today I received the award “Strictest Parent Ever”.   Thank you, thank you…I’d like to thank the little people who aren’t so little anymore for giving me the opportunity.

Hugs are good.  I need some more.  Where is that husband?  I’m going to go get a hug or two right now.

I accidentally included a reimbursement check of ours in with my work deposit last night!  Fortunately when I called the branch they said they found it.  Oh my.  What will I be like when I’m 70?  Stick around – it should be entertaining!

I’ve always thought it would be kind of fun to work at Target.  What do you think?  Do you think the magic would wear off if I was there all the time?  I don’t think that’s possible.

I’m using The Message version in my daily Bible reading plan this year and love it!  I found this verse yesterday in Proverbs.  I thought of writing it on a poster board and sticking it by the door:  “Dear child, if you become wise, I’ll be one happy parent…”  (Prov. 23:14-16)  The verse before that one says “Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones, a spanking won’t kill them.”

As I drove to breakfast this morning I heard a beautiful song.  The words made me cry.  Please take a minute to listen to this:

Places where grace is, soon to be so amazing…

Oh Lord, let it be true.  I’m counting on You.

Day 19 – A time to praise

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1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  NLT

One activity is missing from that list:  Praise.  Maybe it’s because it is always the time to praise, no matter what else is happening, no matter what other time it is or what other activity is right for that time.  There’s something about praise that changes the heart’s attitude, that lifts the spirit, that centers our utmost self and settles us.

This morning as I went to work my heart was heavy, like a big, dripping wet towel.  The weight of fear, anxiety and sadness seemed to even weigh me down physically.  I took deep breaths and sighs, felt like I was a little piece of lead sitting in my desk chair.  It was an effort to smile and greet my co-workers and people in the building.  My dear friend, Jenene, asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her and I agreed.  She is a patient, loving, listening friend and let me splutter and spurt my frustration, hurts and bewilderment all over her.   As I did the pressure lifted.  All that pent up “stuff” coming out of my heart made room for peace and a sense of “ahhhhh.”  I remembered not to take everything quite so seriously.  I remembered that God is in control, that what I face is not different from just about everyone else, and that I wasn’t alone in any sense of the word.  My heart decided that it’s a time to praise.

I praise God for:

  • Showing me in a few small ways that He is at work.  When I can’t see what He’s doing I start thinking He’s forgotten or is taking too long or got busy helping someone else.  When I start thinking that, God says “now is a time to wake up and have faith!”
  • Giving me some quality time with my youngest making muffins and talking after supper.
  • For reminding me as I woke up this morning that His mercy is new every morning and that I need to give my daughter a clean start each day, too.
  • For the beee-you-ti-ful sunshine and warm air today!  I actually drove home with my window open.  Now that is awesome.
  • For quiet time this evening with no TV, no noise.
  • For a good jog and the legs to carry me.
  • For my family, home, pets, stuff, job, and everything else that makes this earthly life tick.  Thank you, God!
  • For God’s amazing goodness, purity, unchanging nature, strength and wisdom, power and might, artistic ability and imagination.  There is no one like Him!
  • For music to sing along with.
  • For my sister and mom and the fun phone conversations we have.
  • For possibilities.
  • For a boss who, when giving a reference, was a true advocate for me and my hubby and almost threatened to cause a ruckus if we were knowingly welcomed into an unhealthy situation.   I’m blessed to have a boss who is also a really good friend.
  • For coconut cream Easter eggs, as sugary and fattening as they may be.  They are a little piece of heavenly cloud floated down to earth and put into a little white cardboard box.
  • For hope in knowing my life is in God’s hands and I have nothing to fear.

Applause, everyone. Bravo, bravissimo! Shout God-songs at the top of your lungs!
God Most High is stunning,
astride land and ocean…
Loud cheers as God climbs the mountain,
a ram’s horn blast at the summit.
Sing songs to God, sing out!
Sing to our King, sing praise!
He’s Lord over earth,
so sing your best songs to God.
God is Lord of godless nations—
sovereign, he’s King of the mountain.
Princes from all over are gathered,
people of Abraham’s God.
The powers of earth are God’s—
he soars over all.        – Psalm 47  The Msg