Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

WWLD

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Whiner baby. I confess I was complaining to my hubby about something that is what it is. I should just accept it and make the best of it. Time to put on those oh so famous, uncomfortable big girl pants and just move on.

You know, that is easier said than done sometimes. It can actually be excruciating to be positive about something you really dislike and decide not to complain about it anymore.

What do I get from complaining, though? Just guilt and the grumps. Complaining is discontentedness and discontentedness is basically telling God what He’s given me is not good or is not enough. I really don’t want to do that, because He has given me WAY more than I deserve. Many others have greater needs than I do, that is certain.

One thing that has really helped me try to be positive this week instead of complain is remembering my friend, Laura. Continue reading →

The unused gift

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They say opposites attract. Well, I wouldn’t say my husband is my opposite, but there are definitely some big differences in the way he and I think and operate. For example, I like to process my thoughts and feelings out loud, whereas John processes things inwardly. Mimi = many words, John = few words.

I’m an optimist and idealist, lover of happy endings.  He is practical and realistic.

He’s a big picture kind of thinker, I’m into details.  He dreams about where he wants to go, I want to know how it’s going to work or happen. What’s the plan, man.

However, one of the most glaring differences became evident a few years ago. Continue reading →

Psalm 91

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Last Sunday one of our friends at church, who has definitely had his share of troubles, reminded all of us to stop dwelling on and looking at our problems or challenges and look at Jesus instead. A simple truth. I’ve heard it so many times. Why should we do that?

Looking at my problems gives them more power to intimidate, threaten, and overwhelm me.  My mind then defaults to problem solving mode and trying to figure out how to fix it all. This stresses me out because I don’t know all the answers and I can’t fix it all! (Continual lesson and understatement of Mimi’s entire life.)

Looking at Jesus instead makes Him bigger in my eyes and heart, and my problems smaller or at least not occupying all of my attention. Locking my gaze on Jesus, I walk forward in the truth that assures my heart He’s in control, He is able, He is more than enough, His ways are higher, He is good, He loves me, He is faithful, He will help me, and He said He would always be with me. No worries.

The temporary loses out to the eternal. Proper perspective reminds me my hope and heart are sealed for eternity with Jesus. So bottom line, no worries!

Psalm 91 is full of promises from God for his little ones, his people: Continue reading →

Hi. My name is Mimi and I’m a control freak.

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Secrets keep you “sick.” It’s truth.

If you want to beat a compulsion or addiction the first step is to admit there’s a problem. You have to admit it to yourself and then to other people. The Bible even recommends it: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Hello. My name is Mimi. I’m a control freak.

Over the years I have caused myself so much anxiety and unnecessary stress because my little perfectionistic, likes to have a plan, very busy self feels like I know how things should be. My tendency is to, often subconsciously, try to manipulate and control people or situations to get the outcome I think is best. Just being real, peeps. Anyone feeling me out there?

I’m blessed to have some people in my life, who, along the way have helped me (and still help me) to see this problem and gently bring me to those so important places of realization which leads to being humbled which leads to saying I’m sorry which should lead to me doing less of the aforementioned attempted controlling. That is the ideal anyway!

I can remember a Sunday years ago when my husband (the pastor) woke up sick and our associate pastor was home with a broken foot. I got to church and started trying to figure out what to do for the service. Continue reading →

2017

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The door swung open and we stepped across the threshold of another new year.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing at the doorway to 2017. Were you someone eager and hopeful, tiptoed or even crouching, ready to skip or leap with a grin into the open space like a little child ready to get outside and make footprints in fresh, undisturbed snow?  Maybe you were reluctant and even afraid to step out, like someone standing under a ledge watching a downpour, not wanting to get drenched in the run to your parked car on the far side of the big parking lot.  Some of you might have stared vacantly at the open space ahead, taking great effort to just take one step. Maybe your heart is numb, worn out or depleted from challenges, disappointments, even grief you walked through in 2016.  You might have marched through, slamming the door behind you, so ready to get last year behind you, wanting to forget it altogether.

Even though we can’t see all that this year will hold, are there life events you’re looking forward to or dreading, or are you not sure what to think?

Lots of people tweeted or “Instagrammed” about the past year, whether or not they met goals, what they’re glad to walk away from, what was good or positive, which things went the way they hoped, which things didn’t. Many blamed 2016 for the tragedies we witnessed, the many well-known, well-loved celebrities that died, a wacky election, and more.  Goals and/or resolutions for the next 365 days (actually 355 as of today) were abundant across all of social media.

I used to blog regularly and it was extremely helpful to me when looking back through posts, like leafing through a diary. Lessons learned, emotions that ran amuck or got stuffed, happy times, frustrations, let downs, and the like filled the “pages.” Writing is a way of processing. It helps me figure out and sort through things. 

I haven’t blogged regularly for a few years now. Part of the reason being I was asking myself, “Who really needs to know what you’re thinking or feeling?” “There are so many opinions, editorials, reflections, and such on the Internet. Why do people need to read yours?” So many words out there, so much noise. Do we really need more?

I like to blog because I like to encourage people, which is a big part of my God-given purpose. I like a sense of community, in which you relate to other people traveling through life, sharing hardships and victories, laughing, telling stories, loving. I love the idea of helping someone else feel less alone in this life. If something I’ve been learning or struggling through or actually conquering would accomplish that, then I want to keep blogging.

So far in 2017, I’ve been reminded that words matter and our thoughts shape the path we take, so I need to keep positive, life-giving words in front of me to help keep my thoughts on the right path. God has been showing me, much to my delight (not really) how much of my life, my choices, my attitudes, and such are driven by pride. I want Him to change that in me, but I also cringe in the asking because I know it will be tough and most likely painful.

What are you learning so far? Can we try to let go of the past and look for the good in this year? Can we trust God and not let fear hinder us like heavy weights around our ankles? There will be “bad” stuff and hard stuff in 2017, there always is. BUT, there will be a lot of good: a lot of possibility, a lot of opportunity, a lot of people to love, a lot to learn, a lot of time to grow and become, a lot of chances to do better, a lot of hope. For those of us who follow Jesus, we can be cheered by the truth that He is timeless and so has already been in the year to come and promises to be with us.

I’d be honored to walk with you. Ready? Here we go.

“Lead on, O King eternal,

We follow, not with fears,

For gladness breaks like morning

Where’re thy face appears” – Ernest W. Shurtleff

Joy Unspeakable

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I think when most people hear the word “joy” they think of those moments when we are, as Elizabeth Bennet so beautifully puts it in the movie “Pride and Prejudice”, incandescently happy. Joy is happiness that wells up and spills over. Those celebration moments that we’ll remember forever, the mountaintop experiences that make us pause to soak in, gasp in wonder, or give a deep sigh of contentment…those are moments of joy.

The standout moments in life that covered me in the heart-bursting, gold-sparkling, warm, fuzzy, happiness type of joy are when I walked the aisle with my dad toward my love and when each of our babies was born and we heard “it’s a girl!” for each one.

I had an experience of overwhelming peace and love one summer in the San Bernandino mountains, alone with God by a creek, laying on a rock in the sun. I can’t describe how close I felt to God that day, like I was laying right in the palm of His hand.

I couldn’t even cry the day our oldest daughter got married because I was so full of happiness and love I thought my heart would burst. And if you know me, that’s saying something. It doesn’t take much to make me cry.

Those were definitely joy unspeakable moments.

As I’ve walked this path called life, particularly the path beside and behind Jesus, I’ve learned there is another side of joy. I would not have guessed when I was young that joy would often be accompanied by, or preceded by, sorrow and pain.

Sitting in a waiting room after getting a cancer diagnosis, heart beating hard, mind racing, God gave me a vision of Him standing on a path lined with grass that curved off into the distance. He stood turning to look back with a hand reaching out to me as if to say, “Come on. I’m going with you.” A golden sun shone so brightly behind Him all I could see was His silhouette. Peace washed over me and I remembered I belong to Him. He sees me, He cares. I’m not alone. Joy.  (Even now as I remember and picture it I’m comforted)

I’ve heard stories of a family gathered in a hospital room praying together, holding one another, singing hymns while they surround one they love who is peacefully, sometimes even eagerly, reaching for Jesus and going to heaven. In the deep shadow of hurt and loss, a faint light grows when they think of their loved one finally home where they belong, completely whole and with God. They are thankful this person lived, thankful for all the memories, so thankful the one they loved knew the Savior and they will be reunited with them one day. Even amidst sobs they thank God and have joy.

Joy is born in thankfulness. It is knowing you belong to God, the affirmation that because You are His He loves you, will never forget you or leave you, and is right with you ALL the time, no matter what. Belonging. Love. Hope. Joy.

Joy gradually emerges in surrender and sacrifice when things turn out differently than you hoped or dreamed, but instead of falling into bitterness you turn to Jesus. You are willing to give in and remind yourself you’re not in control, you’re not God, but You know Him and He IS in control…and He is good. You yield, you surrender to God’s ways, you trust and thank Him anyway. Joy.

Remember Stephen, the martyr? He practically exploded with truth when he testified to the Jewish leaders who rejected Jesus. They tried to silence Him by killing his body. But as Stephen’s heart stretched to bursting with love and worship, he seemed to ignore the rocks bruising and cutting him as he looked up toward the sky and exclaimed, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man seated at the right hand of God!” He was captivated by the truth and by His Savior. Even in his painful death, He had joy.

I’m still learning about joy: genuine, rich, enduring, deep-from-the-gut-and-soul joy that comes from choosing to walk with God in gratitude whatever the circumstance.

There have been hard, sad times in the past, are some now, and will be some to come. In those times we can’t rely on our emotions, but on what we know. My husband and I can agree that we know God loves us, He cares, He has always been faithful to us, He will make a way and He has given us so much to be thankful for.

We may not always feel like dancing or shouting or even smiling, but we thank God and trust Him…

and so we have joy.

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:4,6-7 NLT

 

What could be better than Rocky in your corner?

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My girls tease me about this now, but I’m always looking for valuable messages or correlations with my faith when I watch movies. It’s just how my brain works. Most movies have a “moral of the story,” or we might relate to a character’s struggle, or be reminded of important truths like self-sacrifice, friendship, doing what’s right in the face of danger, etc. You may laugh, but I was so convicted of over-protective parenting when I saw Finding Nemo for the first time.

After seeing a film, I used to ask the girls what lessons or messages they saw. Gotta take advantage of those teachable moments right?  When we watched “Napoleon Dynamite” I remember my youngest saying as the end credits were rolling, “Mom, I don’t think there were any lessons in that one.” I laughed and had to agree.

When we saw “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” with my grown-up kids during Christmas this past year, I promised I would refrain Continue reading →

Lamb of God

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How many times have I heard and read the story about Jesus’ arrest, unfair staged trial, and sentencing to death? So many. I know the prophet John the Baptist called Jesus the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. (John 1:29) I know the sacrifice of animals by priests for many years were offered to atone for the people’s sins and had to be made over and over again and that the sacrifice Jesus made by giving His own life is a once for all deal. (Hebrews 7:27)

I know the deep, beautiful parallel of the Passover lamb and Jesus: how hundreds of years before, the blood of a lamb spread on door posts of  the Israelites’ homes kept the angel of death away and how Jesus’ blood, willingly spilt, covers our sins, marks our hearts as His own, and defeats death. (Of course we must believe and accept this incredible gift)

I should have noticed before, but as I was listening to the story of Jesus’ trial and sentencing, Continue reading →

Horcruxes are not the answer.

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I don’t know if you’re a Harry Potter fan but I am. That used to be a risky claim for a Jesus follower.  You’ll just have to trust that even though I’ve read all the books and own all the movies, it hasn’t made me want to dabble in witchcraft. On the contrary, there are lots of great “morals of the story” and good messages woven throughout the series, the biggest one being giving yourself sacrificially for others, or a greater good, is a grand thing to do and evil can’t defeat that kind of love. (First taught to us by Jesus himself!)

The villain in these stories is Voldemort, a narcissist determined to be the most powerful wizard…ever. He also wants to live forever. As a young wizard he finds out about a dark magic device, a horcrux, in which you can split your soul into two pieces, storing one piece in an object apart from your own body for safe keeping. That way you can’t be destroyed if just your body is killed because part of your soul lies elsewhere. Voldemort deducts that if splitting in two pieces helps cheat death, then surely splitting his soul into seven pieces will make him infallible. So he does that very thing, putting the pieces of his soul into several objects, his snake and even Harry.

Well, eventually all the horcruxes, each containing part of Voldemort are discovered and destroyed, the last remaining piece of his soul vulnerable in his failing body and He is killed. No living forever for him. Apparently horcuxes are NOT the answer.

As I sat in the quiet today during my lunch, I was thinking about something I’m hoping for that hasn’t come to be yet. While praying about this something, I realized that I have to keep my focus and make sure that Jesus is the source of my joy and life, not the things I hope for in this world. I need His help with this, because my human heart can become so enamored with a lovely possibility, fascinating gadget, entertaining pasttime. It takes some doing to shift gears to return focus and keep myself centered solely in God.

We can be like Voldemort in a way. We, either intentionally or not, deposit pieces of our hearts and souls into all sorts of people and things here on this earth, in this life, thinking that will fulfill us.  We may not think it will make us live forever, but it can make us forget about the forever life ahead of us and get slogged down in all that doesn’t last and doesn’t really matter. Even good things and relationships can become too dear if we rely on them for all that only God can give.

When we give our soul to Jesus, entirely, not just a piece, He will guard it and love it and fulfill it. We will find our true identity, the purest joy, love and life that will really never end. We’ll become more like Him and be less and less concerned with ourselves, whether or not we’re the best, whether or not our wishes are granted or life turns out how we plan.

My lovely possibility is just that and I have to be careful not to rely on it for my joy and life. Jesus said, “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” 1

Jesus, forgive me for sometimes placing my hope, my heart and soul in temporary things, ideas, plans, even in being concerned for those I love. I know my only hope and true, full, everlasting life is in You and only You. Turn my eyes from the things here in this earthly life that sparkle but don’t last. All will fade away but You remain. Capture my attention, my gaze, my thoughts, my everything, so that all of me rests in You.

 

1 Matthew 15:25-26 NLT

My blessed comfort zone

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Comfort zones have gotten a bad reputation. Probably because the idea of staying in a zone of comfort is self-indulgent, non-adventurous, even cowardly. We urge each other to get out of our comfort zones, to not get stuck in them, to be wary of too great a fondness for them.

I learned recently that the origin of the word “comfort” actually means something different than I’ve always thought. The word is made from two Latin word parts, com-, which basically means “together with,” and fortis, which means “strong or strength.”1  When we read that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others”2 what if instead of envisioning Him nestling us in a pile of soft pillows in jammie pants with some hot tea and hugs, we saw that comfort as the strength of His presence with us? It’s an entirely different perspective on comfort zones. 

II Cor. 1:4 “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.”

Paraphrase: In every trial, hurt, or challenge, God’s strong presence is there all the way. When we know this, we can share this truth of “together strength” with God with others who are struggling.

Isaiah 40:1 “Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God.

Paraphrase: “Know I am with you, I will fortify you, uphold you, and never leave your side, my dear ones,” says your God.

Maybe it’s not my comfort zone I need to be wary of, but my “complacency zone.” My comfort zone no longer exists as a stationary, status quo hidey hole, but moves with me as I walk in the unshakable peace of knowing I have the “together strength” of God’s company with me always. That is the greatest comfort! It sustains me through times of pain, failure, change, loss, uncertainty, loneliness, and weariness.

We can serve God and others oh so diligently while still dwelling in our “comfort zone” if we understand God’s comfort to not always be easing pain or pushing challenges out of our way, but the life-changing understanding that we walk in the strong company of God Almighty.

Do you know that? That you can walk and live and thrive in the strong company of God?

Always with us is this God, this devoted Father, this faithful One, who is not only able to do anything, but is also full of unlimited love and grace, true and never changing.

How’s THAT for a comfort zone?

1 from the YouVersion Bible app reading plan “When God Doesn’t Make Sense” by lifechurch.tv

2 II Corinthians 1:4