One thing at a time

My mom used to tell me, when I was feeling overwhelmed by too many things to do, to just take one thing and start doing it.  Once I got going, my motivation kicked in, fear and stress bowed out and I was able to knock my way through my to do list bit by bit.  It was the looking at the whole pile of tasks that made me stop in my tracks, thinking it was all too much or wondering how I was going to accomplish everything by the time it needed to be done.

My daughter texted me the other night feeling much the same way about school work.  Her list of assignments/papers/tests was looming over her and had frozen her in one spot feeling inadequate for the job.  I tried to encourage her to do the same thing – “start with one thing, do one thing at a time and you’ll get through it!”

This morning in my devotional, there was a wonderful illustration of how the fog on the path ahead of us in life is actually one of God’s mercies, enabling us to just focus on the step in front of us, the day we are living in right now.  If God were to lift that fog and allow us to see the entire path, with all its twists and turns, mountaintop highs and desperate, painful or lonely lows, we would certainly be overwhelmed and our little feet would probably refuse to move at all.  We would stare with open mouths, knotted stomachs and pounding hearts and think “there’s no way I can do all that or get past all of that” or “How in the world will I know what to do or which way to go?”

Accept God’s merciful, loving gift of not having to see all of the future or all the path ahead of you, take his hand (because He’s right beside you) and take one step.  Then another, as He leads you.  You can live in this day with Him.  You can have peace in not having to figure out all of your future at once.  God will show you.  He will give you all you need to do one thing at a time.

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. – I Corinthians 13:12  The Message

I surrender some?

All or nothing.  Hot or cold.  One side or the other.  Although I live in a world that prefers middle ground and gray areas over black & white, I follow Jesus who said to come after him without looking back.  He said if we weren’t for Him, we were against Him.  He said the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.  He can ask that of us because He’s done that: given all, right down to his very last breath, for our sake.

It will probably be an ongoing battle, as I think it is for each of us to some degree, to surrender all to Jesus.  How easy it is to sing that song “I surrender all” or aspire to deny myself each day, pick up my cross and go after Christ, but infinitely tougher to actually give in and give up every little part of me.

I recognize little ways I indulge myself, like spending on big sodas and extra things for the house that we don’t need, when we’re trying to pay off stuff and save up to fix our van.  I admit there are times I cut pieces of cake or any other yummy dish and want the bigger piece for myself, Continue reading

Jesus is not your homeboy

As I was washing dishes this evening I was thinking about respect or lack thereof and what causes someone to not show respect for someone or something else.  This thought process was stirred up after reading a review of a movie just out in theaters that makes jokes out of Jesus, the nativity and so forth.  What I read really bothered me and I thought to myself, “whoever wrote this movie doesn’t realize who they’re mocking.”

Somehow our culture has arrived at a distorted, watered-down image of Jesus.  Even among some people who say they follow Him, that He’s Lord of their life, seem to have not realized who it is they’re following.  I saw some kids at a Christian concert once wearing shirts that said, “Jesus is my homeboy.”  I’m sure whoever made the shirts had harmless intentions, just being funny, but it seems way too familiar a title for Him.

The relationship we can have with God is such a mystery and paradox.  He is Creator, all-powerful, all-knowing, present everywhere, the beginning and the end, King of kings, Ruler of everything, Holy, Just, True.  At the same time He chooses to be Father, Counselor, Deliverer, Guide, and even Friend to us when we put our faith in Him.  How does that work?  It boggles my mind!

All of this brings me to a conclusion that lack of respect for God, for Jesus, comes from Continue reading

Sometimes the grass is greener in the past

When Kimmi first went to college, the school advised the students to stay on campus once classes started for at least six weeks before going home for a visit.  The purpose behind that recommendation is that it helps them engage with the other students and the college community as well as cutting ties with home a bit (getting used to being away from home).  I think it’s a great idea and though it was a hard adjustment at first (probably harder for me than for her), it did help Kimmi step into the college phase of her life more on her own.  She began “leaving” the phase of life she had with us at home – an important, necessary step to growing up.

When first away at school it might be easy for kids to keep wanting to go home and be in the familiar, comfortable situation they just came from.  Looking back, the grass might seem greener at home in the past where their high school friends lived, where they were comfortable in a home church and so on.  If they’ll turn around and look forward, however, step out and give it time, they find that independence, new friendships, experiences, possibilities and more can become their new “normal” and be pretty exciting.   They can change and grow, becoming more and more of who they are meant to be.  The world opens up in new ways that they wouldn’t have known if they went back and stayed at home.

I realize that sometimes when I look back the grass looks greener in the past.  This past weekend we went “home” to Indiana to attend our college homecoming weekend, see our college girls, and attend church where we did when we lived there.  We saw many old friends, enjoyed beautiful sunny fall weather, were blessed by a moving, encouraging worship service at church, and spent some really good quality time with our daughters.

John and I both agreed today that a little part of ourselves felt like it would be nice to go back there to stay.  It was comfortable there for us in many ways and we have lots of dear friends there.  We fit in and knew our place.  We have a lot of history there, too, all the way back to before we got married so of course it feels like home.

If I am honest when I look back though, Continue reading

Pastor Appreciation

October is typically observed as “Pastor Appreciation Month” in churches across the country, so I thought I’d share a few words of appreciation to the pastors that have made a difference in my life. Continue reading

He was there

I got my diagnosis on my mom’s birthday.  That just doesn’t seem right does it?  My surgery was that Friday, only five days later.  What a whirlwind week it was.  My parents dropped everything and drove to St. Louis to be with us, even though my dad was a pastor with a busy schedule.  I don’t remember how many days I had to stay in the hospital, I think only two.  I just remember with clarity an early morning blood draw to check my white cell count to see if I could go home.

Shortly after the lab tech left the room, my dad walked in.  He was carrying his garment bag and told me he was about to go back home but wanted to come see me first.  While he was with me, my surgeon, Dr. Billy, came in to tell me that my levels were low and I was going to have to stay longer in the hospital.  My heart sunk into a fearful thought that there might be more cancer.  Then Dr. Billy noticed they had drawn blood out of the arm that had an IV and it had diluted the blood sample.  He had them come back in and draw from my other arm, it was okay, and I was able to go home!

It may not sound like a big deal, but it helped so much that my dad was there.  I didn’t have to be alone through that brief unsettling moment.  He was thinking of me that morning and wanted me to know.  He was there because he loves me.  What did I do to get my dad to love me? Continue reading

Look beyond the ugly

We watch HGTV all the time, I mean a LOT.  For some reason it’s really fun to see homes, furniture, rooms and what not fixed up, updated, changed, painted, re-styled, and more…basically made better.  One of our new favorites is the Property Brothers in which Jonathan Scott, a seasoned realty agent, and his brother Drew, a contractor/renovator, convince people to trust them to create their dream home.

The show always starts with the brothers taking a couple to a fabulous updated home, one that holds all the items on their hearts’ wish list, and then letting the couple’s hearts crash into reality when they hear the price of that home.  Time for Drew to step up and tell them he can help make an older or outdated home into their dream home for less.

If the house hunting couple agrees to give it a go, Jonathan takes them to see all sorts of…well…not so lovely homes so they can pick which one they want to renovate.  I have to say I don’t blame the couples for wrinkling their noses at some of them.  What with the orange shag carpeting, the dark 70’s paneling, painted wrought iron railings, dirt and even mold, the fake stone front fireplaces and tiny kitchens with fluorescent lighting, the words “dream home” are not the first to come to mind! Continue reading

Didn’t see it coming

10 years ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001, hundreds of people went to work or about their morning routine in the city like they did every other day.  They didn’t know terror and tragedy were on the way, or that they would soon face death.  They didn’t see it coming.

8 years ago, on the afternoon of September 8, 2003, I received a cancer diagnosis from my surgeon.  I felt fine and had no unusual symptoms besides a small lump in my breast.  I didn’t see that coming, for sure.

About a month ago, here in town, a young couple riding on their motorcycle on a beautiful sunny afternoon was crushed between two SUVs because the driver coming up behind them at an intersection was intoxicated.  They left behind small children and many shocked, saddened family and friends.  They certainly didn’t know that was going to happen.

I could list story after story and we’ve all heard it before:  none of us knows what will happen tomorrow, or even in the next hour.   Time is far more precious than we usually realize or remember.  Just reminding you as I remind myself.

Kind of makes the silly things I get upset about trivial and ridiculous:  like the self-checkout clerk being a bit too chatty and helpful Continue reading

Life with the wonder cats

Look at him, that little – I mean BIG chubber over there, just laying on the floor.  What a rough life.  We’ve always been “dog people” until a few years ago when Rocky decided we belonged to him.  We heard meowing outside and pawing on our front door.  When we opened the door, he just strolled in as if he’d lived with us for years.  We sent him back out but day after day he hung around, came out of the bush by the front porch to be petted and charm us with his cuteness until we finally gave in and let him come inside for good.

Our doggy went to doggy heaven last fall so now we are “cat people.”  I never thought that would happen.  I have to admit I was a little prejudiced before, thinking cats were not as good as dogs, but I’ve grown quite attached to our two furry felines. Continue reading

The noise upstairs

It just gets too quiet sometimes around our house these days.  Now that two of our girls are in college and our youngest is gone often with friends, I miss those sounds I’ve loved all throughout our life.  I miss the sounds of the girls giggling, talking, singing in their rooms or playing instruments, playing video games, having friends in and putting on plays, running in and outside the house, and just life.  I miss the sound of them walking up and down the stairs, doing dishes in the kitchen while singing to their iPod, typing away on the computer keyboard across the room, talking on their phones, or even watching TV.  Those sounds let me know my girls were home.

Last weekend all my girls were here, along with my oldest daughter’s boyfriend.  As John and I went to bed at night, I heard their footsteps upstairs, Continue reading