That wasn’t the plan

I love fictional stories that offer great life lessons, illustrations of good prevailing over evil, or are allegories of faith in God, like The Chronicles of Narnia, Pilgrim’s Progress, even Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. 

There are some pretty great parallels in the Harry Potter series between the events in the story and faith in real life.  That may sound strange, but if you’ve read the books, you probably know what I mean. Ultimately, Harry’s self-sacrifice and coming back to life breaks the curse of the enemy, bringing the enemy’s demise, saving everyone and making things right again.

There is a chapter in one of the last book* called “Felix Felicis” about a potion that will give the one who drinks it pure luck. Harry must get some very crucial, personal and even incriminating information from one of his professors, who has already told him he won’t share it with Harry.  He and his friends concoct a plan to try and convince the professor, or coerce it out of him.  The desired information is crucial if they’re to defeat the enemy.

Harry decides to drink his luck potion and immediately feels as if the day holds limitless potential and possibility. He sets out on the plan he made with his friends, but right away changes his mind, going on his gut or what he feels he should do instead. His friends argue, “That isn’t the plan, Harry!” But he insists, and lo and behold, by following these instincts one after the other, he ends up getting the information from the professor after all, but in an unexpected way, completely different than he planned.

That chapter just shouted to me about how our life could be if instead of making our own plans and rigidly sticking to what we lay out as best, we would live moment by moment, following the urges of God’s Holy Spirit. When I’ve done that, and I am still learning to do it more, I’m amazed at the outcome!  It is so clearly because of God and not because of me, and so clearly wonderful.

A few instances come to mind:

I wanted to share Jesus with a close friend where I worked, when we lived in St. Louis. I planned things I wanted to say to her, ways I wanted to show my faith to her, and more, but whenever I tried those methods, it felt fake and forced. Then I got cancer. After my surgery and recovery and I was back to work, one day my friend stopped me in the teacher’s lounge. She said, “I’ve been watching you go through this cancer and have seen you be peaceful and not afraid. I want to know how you did that.” There was no one else in the lounge (which was unusual) and I had a moment to tell her that it was my faith in Jesus that brought me through. She didn’t give her heart to Jesus right there in the teacher’s lounge, but not long after at a church she and her husband visited, they responded to God calling them to grace and new life. That wasn’t my plan, but it was better. It was God’s plan!

At another job, I was talking with a friend who was taking a world religions class. We had a really interesting discussion, again there happened to be no customers there at the moment or even other co-workers. She was sharing the beliefs she was coming to from learning in the class, and I shared with her what I believe about Jesus, about grace, forgiveness, a relationship with God and everything. It was so natural and afterward I was so excited!  I just got to tell the Good News at work and it was so natural, just a part of the conversation. That wasn’t my plan, but it was better.

Recently a friend and I were meeting up for a walk and visit one morning. We didn’t have a plan, were just winging it. After our walk, I found out she wanted to visit a part of town she hadn’t seen so we went there. Then we decided to walk along that street and see the shops. I saw a favorite shop of mine so I steered us around the corner and down a side street. The lady opening that shop happened to know my friend. They had worked together a while ago and hadn’t seen each other since. It was a happy reunion! They exchanged numbers and emails, which was especially nice since my friend was moving away soon.  As we left the shop my friend had tears in her eyes. She told me how she has never really had a faith or any religion, but that turn of events and “chance” meeting with her old friend made her think and believe there is a God. I told her I totally believed God arranged that for her to show her how much He loves her, and then was able to share a little more about my faith with her.

In each of these situations, my opportunities to share were not because I had orchestrated some wonderful plan, but because God had and allowed me to be a part of it. What a joy and how beautiful. How much more would He use us to share hope and life with people if we would just listen for His voice and follow those instincts He gives us, rather than holding rigidly to what we have in mind or what we think will be best.

He evidently is a God who won’t be pinned down by four easy steps to share the Gospel. He is so much more creative, inventive, and is the very Maker and Possessor of limitless potential and possibilities.  We don’t need Felix Felicis, but we do need to let go, be present, listen and wait, and watch God do something unexpected and wonderful.

We’ll find ourselves saying, “That wasn’t the plan,” but it will be better!

“People can make all kinds of plans, but only the Lord’s plan will happen.”  Proverbs 19:21 NCV

“Depend on the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3 NCV 

“Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.” Isaiah 30:21 NLT


*Book referenced is “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” by J.K.Rowling, 2006

Father, forgive him?

I have a long way to go. My first reaction to the recent tragedy in Charleston was anger, sadness, and frustration. What happened is so wrong, so hurtful, just plain evil. I had the incredibly heartbreaking picture in my mind: those people praying together, unsuspecting, not knowing that minutes away some of them would actually be with the Savior they were praying to.

A dear friend posted on Facebook about how we need to pray for the man who murdered them. He is loved by God just as we are and is evidently troubled. He needs compassion and love. She’s right.

I have so admired people who have that gentle, amazing outlook of forgiveness and compassion in the face of injustice, evil, pain and loss. I think of the story several years ago of some Amish people who actually began reaching out to and caring for a man who shot and killed some of their own.  I’ve heard of parents who began visiting their child’s murderer in prison, befriending them, forgiving and showing God’s love.

I am asking myself today, would I, could I honestly do that? If someone had killed my daughter, my husband, my friend? I know God can help us have a change of heart and help us do anything, but I’m thinking my nature is not bent that way.  Not yet, anyway.  I’m not proud of this, just being honest. I already knew I still have a long way to go in the transformation of my heart to be like Jesus, but today that reality is especially apparent.

I am comforted by the story of Corrie Ten Boom, a woman who endured harsh cruelty in concentration camps during the Holocaust, but kept her faith in Jesus. She began traveling and sharing the story of her experience (and her sister Betsie’s, who died in the camp) as well as the Good News about Jesus. At a church service in Munich, she saw a man who had stood guard in the shower room in the processing center at Ravensbruck. She writes that he was the first of their actual jailers she had seen since being released and when she saw him, all the painful experiences resurfaced.  This is how she describes her encounter with him:

He came up to me beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein,” he said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!”

His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.

I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.

As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.

And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His.  When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself. 1

Corrie was a woman who loved and followed Jesus for years. Yet, even she struggled to forgive.

Sometimes we might think, “Well, I will eventually, it’s just too fresh right now.”

How did Jesus forgive his murderers while He was still hanging on the cross?? His accusers weren’t even repentant, but He had compassion for their lostness and concern for their souls.

Thank goodness, thank God, it is not dependant on me or you. As Corrie so beautifully said, the world’s healing hinges on Jesus’ goodness and forgiveness. We are just commanded to share it and pass it on, even when it feels impossible.

Jesus, help us to be more like You!  I know that love, YOUR love, not anger and retaliation, will reach those troubled, lost ones who hurt others.  Walk so closely with the loved ones of these martyrs in Charleston. Comfort that church, that community. And yes, comfort the killer. Open his eyes and heart to what he’s done, but also please heal and save his soul. I pray in obedience, knowing that even if I don’t feel all these words, you hear and are at work for his sake, as well as those who lost family, friends and pastor. Bring your healing, God, please.

When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed Him to the cross…Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:33-34 NLT

1 p. 238, The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom with John & Elizabeth Sherrill, Copyright 1971, Bantam Books

Participating in our healing

Whenever Jesus healed people, he gave them a part to play in the miracle. This morning, I read the story of the ten lepers calling out to Jesus for mercy. The Bible says Jesus told them to go show themselves to the priest, but he didn’t tell them why. As they were on their way to do what he said, they were made clean, whole, healed!
What a beautiful reminder. Whatever healing we’re in need of, we participate in the process. There is a stepping out in faith, reaching out to God, some action that has to take place. 

I was thinking about this as I drove to work and asked God why. Why did Jesus do things that way? Why have us do something in order for the healing to happen instead of just healing us. He certainly doesn’t need our help.  He could’ve told the blind man who begged for him to stop and not pass by, “So you’re blind? Well, now you can see.” But instead he made mud and smeared it on the man’s eyes, then told him to go wash in the pool.  When the man did what Jesus said, he was healed.  Jesus could’ve said to the man with the withered hand, “Hey, look at your hand it’s all better now.” But, he said to the man, “reach out your hand.” When the man reached out, his hand was healed.

When we obey and do something God has told us to do to be healed it proves our faith. Then, when God helps us and we experience healing, it strengthens our faith.

In response to my “why?” question, I heard God tell me, “It’s because I’m relational. Rather than just do something to you, I want to do something with you.”

What a lovely thought. God is not a wish granter, machine-like and cold, but is a Father who takes personal interest in me, in you, and wants to be involved with us. It’s as if He says, “Let’s work out this healing together. I’ll provide the power, you provide the faith.”

I wonder if His heart is warmed when we willingly reach back to Him, if He cannot wait to do His part and help us, even surprise us with more than we hoped for.

I think even when we have little strength or are battle-worn, the slightest look up or leaning into God is enough. He has always said he doesn’t look at outward appearances but at our hearts. He wants to heal us.

I see this interaction in the greatest offer of healing. Jesus laid down His life, died for our sins and rose again. He stands, arms outstretched towards us, saying, “I can heal your relationship with God, repair the brokenness in your soul, and make you whole. Reach out your hand, your heart.” 

We can trust Him. We should do what He says. He’s so ready to do His part.

It happened that as he made his way toward Jerusalem, he crossed over the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered a village, ten men, all lepers, met him. They kept their distance but raised their voices, calling out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

Taking a good look at them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” They went, and while still on their way, became clean. One of them, when he realized that he was healed, turned around and came back, shouting his gratitude, glorifying God. He kneeled at Jesus’ feet, so grateful. He couldn’t thank him enough—and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus said, “Were not ten healed? Where are the nine? Can none be found to come back and give glory to God except this outsider?” Then he said to him, “Get up. On your way. Your faith has healed and saved you.” (‭Luke‬ ‭17‬:‭11-19‬ MSG)

It’s Monday

Monday. For many, not their favorite day of the week. The weekend is over and it’s back to work.

Today is a day you will only get to live once. You’ll never get it back once it’s done.

Today is a day God has divine appointments set, if you will ask Him to show you and then listen and watch.

Today is a new day. God has covered you with mercy anew, with grace and forgiveness fresh. Yesterday is gone.

Jesus has given you the gift of living in this day. You can freely let go of worrying over anything in the future and just be present in each moment as it comes.

Take a deep breath, then let it out. Breathe in God’s grace and love, breathe out fear and anxiety.

Breathe in hope and breathe out discouragement.

Know God never, ever will leave You, not even for a moment, and He is with you right now.

I wonder what He will do today?

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked about about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”  Matthew 6:33-34 The Message

“Speak, Lord. I’m your servant and I am listening.” I Samuel 3:10 NCV

Let go, my soul

I’ve been trusting in God since I was a little girl. I first heard Him and felt Him tug at my heart when I was very young. Back then, trust looked like listening to Bible stories, praying with my family, singing along in worship at church, listening and learning from my daddy’s sermons…childlike faith.  

As a teenager, I remember writing in my journal at night before bed, pouring out my heart to Jesus and reading my Bible to find guidance and encouragement.  Trust was me believing Jesus was my friend, my confidant, someone who would hold my heart through elation and heartbreak, crushes, questions, and insecurities.  I trusted in forgiveness when I did something stupid or messed up.

Through college and into adulthood, trust looked like seeking God with friends in Bible study and prayer, believing He had a plan for me, surrendering and saying “If you want me to be single all my life it’s okay,” then finding He had a special partner picked for me. 

John and I trusted God would help us know how to be parents.  Trust looked like depending on Him to provide even the most basic needs through lean times.  He once showed me I should trust Him as freely and without care as my little girls trusted us to take care of them.  

Sometimes trust in the young mom years looked like closing myself in the bathroom, near tears, telling God, “You said if we ask for wisdom you would give it. Well I need some right now!”  Trust was me believing God wouldn’t let me scar my children for life by mistakes I made.

At the sound of a cancer diagnosis, trust was something I was grasping for in desperation.  Do you believe I trust you, God, even though fear won’t seem to completely go away?  Does it mean my faith is lacking if I still feel anxious, if my heart trembles and hurts at the thought of not being here with my husband and girls anymore?  I can’t explain how, but God showed me clearly that He was just ahead on the path, around the bend, with hand reached back for me, making a way for me.  So I trusted Him.

There have been so many more faces of trust along the way, too many to recount here.

Trust. Critical foundation for any relationship. God has earned my trust and never broken it, though sometimes He has stretched my faith to the point I thought it would snap. When I’m fighting fear or the urge to try and orchestrate outcomes in my life or in the life of someone I love, I remember what He’s done in the past and consciously choose to trust Him.  Trust is a step out, a surrender of will and the demand to know. Trust is living in this day.

A recent favorite song says it this way, “Through it all, my eyes are on You. Throught it all, it is well. So, let go, my soul, and trust in Him. The wind and waves still know His name.” 1

In other words, God is the same as He was the last time He came through for me. His intentions and ability haven’t changed, His love as boundless as ever. He keeps His promises. He never leaves, though He will walk us through some pretty awful, dark places. 

So, let go, friend, of the need to know, of control, of wanting your way, of fears. Open hands and arms wide and feel freedom, like a bird taking flight into a steady supporting wind, floating and soaring.  You can trust God.

1 It Is Well by Kristene DiMarco, Bethel Music 

Dead or Alive?

I was so happy the forecast was wrong on Saturday.  What was supposed to be a rainy, gloomy day turned out to be mostly breezy and warm, with only a few showers here and there.  With all the rain and humidity around here lately the grass, flowers and trees are extremely happy and show their bliss by their deep, vibrant greens and bright colors and by growing like crazy, even overnight!

  I worked in the yard for several hours, my biggest project an overgrown row of bushes near our back door.  This row of bushes appeared to die last year, but about 2/3 of it came back and is green and happy this year.  While I was snipping off dead, gray branches here and there a prayer rose from my heart, “make the dead alive in me, God, in my daughters, in my husband, in our church. Only You can make new, living things from old or dying things.”

He reminded me that if we want to remain alive and healthy and growing, we have to stay attached to Him, the true Vine.  If we aren’t attached, we’ll be trimmed off and thrown away, just like I was doing to these dead branches.  I did see some branches that were gray and dead on the end, but had new buds and some green growth closer to the main stem or branch that was rooted in the ground.  God can bring life where it looks like it’s too late, where it seems the best thing to do is give up and throw away.

I hope this encourages you like it does me.  Jesus said, “Remain in me, let my words remain in You…”  I’ve been dwelling on how I can remain in Him.  I asked Him to show me, too.  How do you remain in Christ?  Are you dead or alive?

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. (‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭5-8‬ NLT)

Unexpected gift

Standing holding hands on one side with a dear friend and on the other a new friend, I looked at the other women in the circle around the room. It was quiet. We were going to be led in prayer for God’s Holy Spirit to fill us anew, to relight dwindled fires in our hearts, to do whatever He sees fit to do. Our leader was walking quietly around the circle, sharing a few words, her voice low but strong. She paused in front of one woman and spoke encouragement to her, then stopped to pray with another woman who needed physical healing. I bowed my head, looking at the floor, thinking about all I had learned over the weekend.

On the first night, we heard stories of transformation, of lives that were changed dramatically by God’s love, changed so they could show Jesus to other people and live out their true purpose, changed to live in peace and grace.  I had struggled through the worship/singing time to focus on God because I’d been focusing so much during the day on my concern for my girls and their future with God.  

I’ve let go of that concern before (like every day) but that night it was as if I couldn’t do it. It was a heavy weight pulling down on my heart. I asked God why it was so hard this time and the answer was very clear: “You don’t trust me.” I felt terrible. God has done so much for me in the past, why don’t I trust Him more right now? I remembered a father in the Bible who brought his troubled son to Jesus for healing and when Jesus asked if he believed He could heal his son, the father replied, “I believe, but help my unbelief.” I prayed the same.

Saturday morning the lesson stung a little, too. As we sang songs, a friend walked over during the songs to hold tight to the young lady standing next to me who is facing some really hard times. I had been so caught up in myself I wasn’t thinking about other people hurting and needing encouragement. I asked God to forgive my selfish attitude. It’s not all about me, I remembered.

Sunday morning I was enjoying the songs and being with everyone, but still feeling a little distant from God, numb in a way. When the offer was given to come forward for several different prayers I walked to the front with others. I’m taking steps, God. I want You to help me be what You want me to be. I need You.

All these thoughts swirling in my head stopped when I felt a hand grip my shoulder and looked up to see the steady, unblinking gaze of the prayer leader. It’s important to note that I had just met her the day before, she didn’t know me. But, she was talking to me.  “You have a tender heart. You’ve been going through some things, feeling discouraged, sometimes like you even want to give up.” Whoa, I instantly realized it was not just this woman speaking, but God through her. “You may have even thought, ‘God, are you hearing me?’ And God wants you to know He sees you, He’s with you. Things are going to start turning around for you, things are changing.  You just worship and praise God with all your heart. Worship Him, trust Him. If you don’t see it right away don’t be discouraged, don’t look for it and ask ‘Where’s it at, God?’ just worship Him.” I was fighting tears but kept looking into her eyes that never looked away as she said, “I see freedom, as if things are falling away, off of you.” She took a step back, never breaking eye contact and gestured with her hand as if taking something down from my shoulder as she continued, “Some things aren’t turning out the way you thought they would, some things in your family need healing, relationships, some who you’re concerned over, comparing yourself to others, discouragement…it’s all falling away. You just worship and praise God.” 

As she walked away I bowed my head again, dissolved into quiet sobs. The strain, guilt, fear, pressure, and hurt was washing off of me, leaving me feeling so relieved and at peace. 

I felt such love and reassurance – God spoke to me. To ME. He KNEW I needed a sign of His presence with me, a tangible reminder that He’s trustworthy and always at work answering prayers, even those we can’t put into words.  And His message wasn’t a rebuke, it was an understanding and compassionate exhortation. Discouragement from ministry, concerns about the future, parenting, stressful work stuff, forgetting God’s acceptance of me and not having to earn His love…it had piled up and only God could move it for me, push it off of my heart, and help me up.

Since then, whenever fear tries to creep back in, I hear God’s voice saying all those lovely words again and I remember that moment. When I told my mom about it she said, “That’s your Ebenezer.”  In the Bible, after God had granted victory to his people, Samuel set up a stone and called it “Ebenezer: God has helped us,” so they wouldn’t forget. The words of an old hymn say, “Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I’ve come.”  I will never forget, God: You see me, You know me, You love me, and You have helped me.

Who, not what

I’ve sung the words before but last night they were more real to me:

“There’s nothing worth more than would ever come close
Nothing can compare, You’re our Living Hope
Your Presence, Lord

I’ve tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves,
When my heart becomes free and my shame is undone…”

(Holy Spirit, by Jesus Culture)

John and I have been reading and doing the study by Francis Chan, “Forgotten God,” about the Holy Spirit. Last night’s lesson was focusing on what the Bible tells us about God’s Spirit.

There is a LOT of mystery with God, with His nature, in the Trinity – a lot I will never fully understand. What stood out to me as we read about the Holy Spirit is the reminder that He is a person, not a thing. We have likened Him to things sometimes: like electric power to plug into, like a force of strength to rely on, and more. But He is One to relate to, to converse with, to love and learn from. He is God’s Spirit with us constantly, knowing us completely, assuring us we are God’s children. He is the One who draws us to God in the first place. He lays heavy conviction on our hearts for things we’ve done wrong or ways we offend God, but then readily sets us free from those sins when we turn and repent.

As we prayed together last night, the realization of Holy Spirit’s nearness washed over me. How often we walk through each day feeling alone or that God would come if we called Him, when He is there the whole time! Luke 11:13 says that God, being the best parent ever, will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask. Sometimes that verse has made me think of God giving an object, but thinking of it as God giving you a person makes that verse more precious and the gift so intimate and incredible.

And if Holy Spirit, part of the Trinity, is God, God’s presence with us and in us, we should worship Him with the same awe, fear, reference, love, and thankfulness as we do God, the Father, and Jesus, the Son. We should humble ourselves just as much before Him constantly, in amazement He would give grace and stay with us! He is not a lesser servant of God sent to help us, He is GOD.

My heart cries out, Papa. Thank you for this gift of Your Holy Spirit, a gift I have taken for granted and even sometimes ignored. Your Presence gives peace and hope like none other! To be loved and accompanied on this path by One who knows me through and through and loves me, is willing to lead me and teach me, and has good plans and purpose for me…thank you, thank you, thank You. I love You, Holy Spirit. I want to know more of You. Be so loud in my life that I can never forget You are with me.

“Let us become more aware of Your Presence…Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for, to be overcome by Your Presence, Lord.”

I’m so glad I have problems

rocky pathThe path we walk when we follow Jesus has potholes. This isn’t a complaint, it’s just the truth. The path is not a wide, paved, beautifully landscaped street but more like a rocky, narrow, twisting, sometimes harrowing trail that is downright difficult to walk at times. It will push us to our limits and beyond, test our resolve, even bring us pain. There are times we might even question, “why did I agree to come this way?”

Jesus never said it would be a stroll in the park, but He did say not to lose heart when we we’re having trouble because He’s overcome the world. (John 16:33) Following someone who’s overcome the world – pretty good credentials, don’t you think?

I’ve lived long enough to be able to look back and see that the path we’ve covered so far has made my faith stronger, though sometimes it takes me a minute (or more) to remember that when I’m in the middle of tough terrain.

James said we should actually be glad in our troubles, because of what they do for us. “When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4 NLT)

It’s one thing to persevere through hard times, it’s another to actually be glad about them. If I say to someone, “I’m so glad I’m dealing with this difficult person and that they’re hurting me,” they’d probably look at me like I had two heads. But God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways. There’s no doubt about that. He doesn’t allow us to have difficulties just so He can show He’s bigger than we are, or just to have us grovel at His feet needing help. Each problem has a purpose: to make us more like Jesus and to witness to God’s goodness and glory.

Before a potter shapes clay or even puts it on the pottery wheel, he pounds it and throws it down numerous times on the table to work out any air bubbles that might be inside and would later be a problem. Before precious metals are formed into valuable objects of beauty, the refiner heats the silver or gold to melting (over 1800 degrees fahrenheit!) and then skims off the impurities as they rise to the surface.

In both cases, the creator is present and personally involved through the whole process.

Feeling like you’re taking a pounding? Or being melted down in a crucible, completely helpless? Sometimes our faith feels like a rubber band that is stretched so tightly it might break. The thought of trusting God one more day is exhausting, and then He asks us to trust another day after that.

Can we praise Him anyway? Can we trust Him? Can we remind ourselves of all He’s done for us in the past? Does knowing He promised He will bring good out of everything for those who love him help us surrender? Some days I enthusiastically answer “Yes!” Some days I have to confess to Jesus that I don’t have the strength on my own, I need Him to help me to believe. Praising Him raises our gaze to Him again and helps. It truly helps. We can have peace that steadies our weak legs and can make it through.

I tried to express this to a friend who was losing someone she loved. It felt almost insensitive to encourage someone to thank God in everything when their troubles are so personal, so deeply painful. How do you tell someone to be glad that they’re having to deal with that? The act of giving thanks in difficulty is part of the refining process. That decision alone can be excruciating.

All I know is that God proves Himself loving and good when we give in and praise Him even in that kind of loss. He shows understanding and compassion. He knows the deepest places of our hearts. It was too hard for my friend, but I still pray God will show her how much He loves her and that she can trust Him.

The end result of trusting God and even thanking Him through troubles is worth the pain. I don’t want to stay the same, do you? I don’t want to walk an easy path if it’s without Jesus. If problems help refine me, then I’m glad I have them. I will try to remember to thank God when they come. I want to grow and reach my goal: to be with God forever and ever, without blemish or fault, without any more struggle with this world or myself…free and home.

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. (I Peter 1:6-7 NLT)

My one word

Somewhere I read about how some choose or ask God to give them one word to focus on this year, a theme for their walk with Jesus in 2015. I hadn’t even asked God yet and He gave me my one word.

During the Christmas season last month a phrase from Scripture kept replaying in my heart and mind: “What is impossible for people is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27 NLT) Jesus said that to the disciples and I can imagine Gabriel might have said it to Mary when He brought her the staggering news that God’s Son would be born into the world through her small, human self.

Though doubt and discouragement have been nagging companions dragging their feet and distracting me, my one word causes me to let go of their hands and look ahead, to look up squinting in the bright light of God’s presence in front of me and all around me. There is more, and it’s good. There is hope and promise and it’s all God’s doing. It’s not up to me, thank goodness.

I am so limited, short-sighted, plagued by fickle yet powerful emotions that can change moment to moment and blind me. My one word is already becoming a beacon back to the path God has for me, an enthusiastic shout to look again at Him, a crucial reminder that it’s not about me and my limitations don’t dictate what God can or cannot do.

My one word is “possible.” I want to live by that word this year. I want to seek out the lessons I can learn, the greater faith God can help me grab hold of, the grander view of more of the eternal in this short life, the freedom from myself when I continually acknowledge Him as the One who CAN.

He once asked Abraham, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” Now He’s asking me.

No, Papa, I know nothing is impossible for You. Keep tight hold of my hand and keep my eyes open to all that is possible, with You.