More thoughts from the front row

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Nothing teaches you about God’s nature as a heavenly father like being a parent.  I have learned so much through the different stages of life we’ve experienced so far about his patience, his unconditional love, his desires for us to “succeed” and win, his devotion, his delight in us, his eagerness to protect and guide us, and more.

frontrowEver since my first little baby girl was born I’ve had the privilege of a front row seat.  God graciously invited John and I to be co-directors in the continuing saga of their lives.  It’s been challenging, exciting, funny, sad, frustrating, exhausting, joyful, disappointing, humbling, and wonderful.  No shortage of dramatic girls for the roles of the three daughters in this story.

About 7-8 years ago the scene began changing as we entered the teen phase of parenting.  It started off so smoothly we smugly thought we had it made.  “Piece of cake!  What’s the big deal everyone’s always talking and whining about?  It’s not that different than the last scene.”  And really, compared to many we do have it made.  Our girls are a delight to us, make us proud, fill our lives so much that we don’t want to imagine what it would be like without them.  The last few years have become a bit more challenging however – Continue reading →

Don’t look at the headlights

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I walked out into the warm, humid, early morning air to take my jog for today and headed up the road.  I could tell it was overcast.  Even though it was dark as night, the cloud cover seemed thick and low.  There are two paths I can take in the morning, one heads north toward two nearby neighborhoods, the other east toward a big neighborhood.  Either way, I have to do my warm-up walk by dark woods before I get to sidewalks and houses.  I don’t relish that as the dark woods kind of give me the creeps!   On a clear morning the dawn begins lightening the sky by the time I head back toward home…but I knew it wouldn’t be that way today.

As I walked, the path was barely visible but I know the route well.  I was determined to warm-up at a fast pace and get to the street-light lined street quickly.  Whenever a car appeared, heading my way, the headlights were blinding.  I made the mistake of looking toward them the first time and the path disappeared – the lights being so bright everything else became completely black.  The next time a car drove by I kept my eyes on the path and even though it was barely visible ’til the car passed by, I could still see where I was going.  It made me think of a great devotional I read a few days ago by John Piper about the verses in Matthew 6:22, “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. 23But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness.”   I’ve read that verse many times but often thought Jesus had it backwards.  The eye as a lamp?  It gave me a mental image of someone with eyes shining like flashlights on everything around them.  Now that would come in handy on these dark early morning jaunts!   Continue reading →

How He Loves Us

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I heard a song this past week that touched my heart and opened my eyes anew to the magnitude of God’s love for us, his creatures, his people, his children.

The song I’m talking about is “How He Loves” by John Mark McMillan.  It’s lyrics are so powerful and beautiful, the chorus passionately sung at the top of his lungs, “Oh how He loves us, oh how he loves…”

My youngest just got home from a week at camp.  During one of the worship times about 30 of the kids participated in “cardboard testimonies” – a time when individuals write on one side of a piece of cardboard what they used to be or a problem they were facing, then on the other side they write how God has changed them or freed them.  For instance on one side someone’s said “tried to kill myself” and on the other side “God’s love saved me”.    Well, Krissy was chosen to be a part of this experience and said they played “How He Loves” while the kids took turns going up front and showing their cardboard testimonies.  She said it was so powerful – that she could feel God’s presence in the room, like it was exploding in her heart.  Many were in tears as the kids experienced God’s love in a new way, through the testimonies of other kids.

I love the lyrics of the song, especially “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way…He loves us, Oh how He loves us!”

I heard another song this week with the lyrics “I pray for love like Yours for me.”  What an awesome prayer!  If we had love for others like God has for us – WOW.  What change would take place in people’s lives!  What blessings would overflow!

I’m going to intentionally focus on God’s love today and ask him the same, to give me love like His for me, to help me remember His love – so much so that it blots out distractions, worries, temptations, and self.

He loves us!  OH how He loves us!   Oh How he loves!

Sometimes He does, just for fun

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How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!   I John 3:1

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever!  Romans 11:36

The eyes of all look to you in hope; You give them their food as they need it.  When you open Your hand, You satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.  The Lord is righteous in everything he does; He is filled with kindness.  Psalm 145:15-17

5771_121925058893_660523893_3105179_7880955_nWe drove out to Crawfordsville to the home of a sweet older couple selling a used Geo Tracker, the car of my middle daughter’s dreams.  Did I mention that she was hoping for a teal-colored Geo Tracker, to be specific?   We had heard that the car was blue with a white roof but were happily surprised to drive around the corner, arriving at the couple’s house, to see that the car is actually teal!  Kaitlin practically jumped out of the van before I could park.  Continue reading →

Miscellany

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This morning I forced myself out of bed when the alarm clock sounded.   I planned to get up and jog to start the day but felt like doing anything but jogging.  As I groggily walked to the dresser to get my stuff I argued with myself, telling myself I would feel great when I was done and just to keep moving.    I walked out into a cool, still-dark morning and when I rounded the two-story townhouse building where we live I looked up and saw a deep blue sky not yet faded by dawn, a bright white sliver of a crescent moon with a few twinkling, very bright stars nearby.  How beautiful!  I started off walking, turned on the iPod, started to jog and before you know it I realized I was right:  I felt great!

My middle daughter has been working hard this summer at a nearby grocery and saving just about every dollar toward a used car.  She should get her license this Friday, if she passes the driving test of course.  She has had her heart set on a Geo Tracker as her vehicle of choice and has been looking them up on the Internet, seeing them around town, etc.   When Kaitlin sets her sights or heart on something she has laser focus.  (If only I could get her to set her heart on a 4.0 GPA).  We told her to keep an open mind because it may not be a Tracker that God sends her way but an equally good, reliable other used car.  Well this weekend a church friend called to say one of his relatives is selling a 1997 Geo Tracker wit a soft top (convertible!) – only 70,000 miles, one owner and it’s going for $1200.  Kaitlin just has $1200 in her savings!  Continue reading →

Not so Desirable Front Row Seat

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harry-potter-poster_330x508It seems almost everyone is talking about the new Harry Potter movie, “The Half-Blood Prince” based on J.K. Rowling’s sixth book in the series.  I’ve read all the books and as usual, I think the book is so much better.  The movie is entertaining, for sure, but so much had to be left out and several liberties taken with original story.  [SPOILER WARNING – if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie yet and plan to, don’t read on]

At the end of the story, Death Eaters (the bad guys) have made their way into the previously secure school Hogwarts.  Draco, a student who has become a death eater, has been charged by the dark lord, Voldemort, with the task of killing the head master, Dumbledore.  He’s made several feeble attempts that failed but now has found Dumbledore in a tower (Harry & Dumbledore had just returned from a dangerous quest in another place) and stands with his wand pointed at him, poised to kill.  In the movie, before Draco gets there, Dumbledore tells Harry to run and get a professor and not to come back up to the tower under any circumstances.  Harry starts downstairs but then, hearing what’s happening, stays a floor underneath watching and listening.  He doesn’t run back up to help Dumbledore because He gave his word not to.

In the book, Harry turns to go get the professor and hears Draco come up to the tower where they are.  Before he can turn to say anything or help, Dumbledore wordlessly casts a spell that immobilizes him.  Harry stands under his invisibility cloak, stiff as a statue, leaning up against the wall, an unwilling spectator, unable to move or speak.  Dumbledore talks Draco down so he almost gives up and gives in, but the other death eaters reach the tower including the professor Harry was supposed to fetch.  Harry watches with horror, powerless, as the professor who was supposed to help actually raises his wand pointed at Dumbledore Continue reading →

Day Four

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This morning (Sunday) we woke to a crystal clear blue sky and sun, got dressed, had some cereal and went to church.  What a great time of celebration and refreshing!  There have been times lately when I pondered on the value of the weekly worship service, is it really serving a purpose?  Does it help fulfill Christ’s commission to us?  Is it worth all the time and preparation?  Well, today I realized that although we can’t base our faith on emotion, emotion is a part of our faith and relationship with God and helps us reconnect to Him.  I was so encouraged and uplifted by the songs we sang, seeing other people worship alongside my family, the freedom to sing out and raise my hands, and hearing God’s Word spoken boldly and passionately.  The lesson we heard was right on and was such a great reminder:  God is for us.  When we are hurting we sometimes feel abandoned or when things don’t turn out the way we planned we feel hurt, or that God’s not listening.  His wisdom appears as foolishness to us oftentimes but we have to remember that God’s foolishness is wiser than any man’s best wisdom.  Great truth!   The speaker was engaging and funny, which I also thanked God for, because our girls were clearly connected throughout and seemed to soak it in.

We experienced something new in the worship time:  the speaking of tongues and the interpretation of it.  I have never experienced that.  I’ve been in services at pentecostal churches where everyone seemed to be speaking in tongues but no one explained anything or interpreted so all it seemed to be was a frenzied chaotic mess…not something God used to bless or instruct anyone.  This was much different.  Following one of the worship songs, one woman began speaking in what sounded like a different language.  When she did the band got quiet, all the people quieted and we just listened.  It lasted about half a minute.  Right after she finished another lady in a different part of the room “interpreted” and shared a word from God with us about having faith and hope in spite of disappointments or unrealized dreams, very impassioned and strong.  After her another woman shared briefly that when we don’t understand what God is doing, it doesn’t mean God isn’t working on our behalf – the our future and hope is in His hands.  How cool that these two words from God were exactly what the preacher was going to speak about!  Instead of feeling uncomfortable or weird, I felt like it was a special holy moment, like God was truly speaking through those ladies to each of us.

The girls were handed some money from their great-grandmother last night so of course we needed to make a trip to the mall.  Now we’re home and getting ready to have some pizza.  It’s our last night on vacation and I hope it goes by slowly.  We head home tomorrow – back to routine, back to “normal” life.   At least we’ve had this long weekend getaway with each other, John’s family, and God.

Day Three

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Saturday morning I woke to a sunny sky with big clouds and was optimistic about the rest of the day since it was the day for the big 50th anniversary party.  The house was quiet with sleepyheads sleeping in, so John’s dad and I went to the lake path again.  We walked and talked, then I jogged for a while, then we walked back to the car.  It was nice.  A breeze had started to blow and the sky was getting a little grayer.

There was a little time to sit and read, watch a TV with the girls, and just relax before getting ready for the party.  We got dressed and “snazzy” and headed out to the Elks lodge to celebrate John’s parents’ marriage for 50 years!  Many friends and relatives joined us, in spite of a torrential downpour on the way there.  It was fun to watch them all reconnect, talk and laugh together.  Some of those Polish peeps can get really loud!  I know some of them, as well, so got to catch up a little.  We took lots of pictures and video, had some 5731_118891228893_660523893_3046650_7394089_nyummy food for dinner including tortellini, meatballs and homemade kielbasa (polish sausage), enjoyed watching John lead his parents through the renewing of their wedding vows, and had some delicious wedding cake before cleaning up and going home.  What a beautiful thing to see two people who have not had a perfect marriage (there is none, I believe) but decided they were committed to staying together through it all – good and bad.  There love is so obvious.  It was wonderful for John to get to be part of their recommitment to one another.  His mom’s parents are both living so her dad got to walk her “down the aisle” as we all hummed the wedding march.  So special and fun.

We were all pretty tired when we got home but had enough energy to watch the movie “Willow” and flake out on the couches in our jammies.  I was playing a game on the Nintendo DS we brought along when Kristine  chastised me, “Mom, you’re not being present with your family.  That’s just as bad as texting.”  I scowled at her playfully, but then realized she was right, so I turned it off.  I’ll take that from her.  I need to be reminded as much as anyone else.   Special people, special reason to celebrate, special day.

Day Two

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lakesideWe woke to a beautiful, sunny day and once everyone got dressed and had some of Grandma’s eggs and sausage, we headed to the nearby lake to take a walk/jog.   I’m coveting this lake and the walking path right along the edge for several miles.  It was so pleasant to walk and jog along the twisting path underneath big shade trees, with the lake breeze blowing.  Ahhhh.

The girls and I went to Chili’s for lunch then Target and Barnes & Noble, before coming back to the house.  We all had yummy grilled chicken and pasta salad for dinner and then watched “The Knowing” with Nicholas Cage.  It’s a very interesting, albeit weird, movie.  I liked it – very thought provoking in parts.   Is our existence something that was planned or just a result of a string of amazingly coincidental cosmic accidents?   What would I do if I knew the end of my life was supposed to happen on a certain day in the near future?   Would that change the way I live?  Most definitely.  The truth is, we are all on the path to death (in our human bodies) and none of us know when.  The cliche of always living as if it were your last day kept coming to mind while we watched.  That’s actually not a bad idea!  The movie didn’t meet the “Mimi’s happy ending” preference, but I think it was worth watching.

It was fun to have a day when we could just do as we pleased.  That’s true vacation in my book – not a lot of plans, just time to “be”.  It’s actually been freeing to not have our phones or facebook.  I feel like we’re all present more in the time together and conversation here.  It’s peaceful.  It was a little crazy when the girls and I were out and we had no cell phone.  I thought, “What if we get turned around or lost?”  But then I realized I could go old school and use a pay phone or ask someone for directions.   You know, I existed happily before I had my cell phone, I just forgot what it was like.

I think it’s time to go sit somewhere and read.  Ahhhhh….

Day One

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rockyWe made it to Syracuse in one piece.  Our pets, who we had to bring along, seem sane at the moment.  The girls – not so much.  Just kidding!  There was a lot of napping going on in the van so we’re feeling rested and ready to have fun.  It’s a beautiful sunny evening – maybe a walk is in order after grilled out hamburgers and NY hot dogs, aka “coonies”.

We let Kimmi drive the last two hours of the trip.  It’s great to have someone else to help – especially with an 11-hour trip.  Oddest moment in my day:  an older, skinny, shirtless guy with a few teeth missing telling me how to save money travelling with pets.  Obviously you can request a “service dog” vest and paper from the govt. and then fly free with your dog,  stay in any hotel with it, etc.,  fooling the masses.  Best $65 he spent.  How about that?  I kicked myself once back in our van for not at least saying, “But that’s not really honest…”   He was quite the rest area socialite, chatting up lots of folks before hopping into his old RV with blue dolphins painted on the sides.  I love people – never a dull moment!

I better go for now – we’re trying to be as unplugged as possible.  I just thought it would be fun to document our trip.