Tag Archives: afraid

Not sure I wanna go there again

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She stood there for what seemed like an hour, hesitating, looking at the guy at the bottom of the ramp urging her to go for it, then back at me, then down at the skateboard she stood on perched on the edge.  I could tell her heart and mind were working at 100 mph trying to decide what to do.  She wanted to be a skater and had pretty much mastered the horizontal, flat ground skating. Now she was trying to learn to “drop in”: when the skater presses their front foot down on the board and rides down the steep curvy ramp. The idea is to stay on the skateboard of course and keep going once you’re on level ground.  She had attempted dropping in on the smaller ramp at least 15 times, each time wiping out and landing flat on her tailbone – the one place with no protective padding. Now she was perched on the big ramp but not so sure.  Continue reading →

Don’t be afraid

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It takes someone outside of me to help me see behaviors and pinpoint thoughts/perceptions that aren’t healthy.  Whenever I spend time with my sis, I learn so much.  She is very perceptive and wise and is one of those friends for me who speaks truth into my heart and life.  I take it from her because I’m secure in her love.  She knows me and doesn’t judge me.

Sitting at my kitchen table a few mornings ago, somehow we began talking about connecting to people and trying to fill the need in our hearts to connect with stuff other than intimacy with God.  Jodi asked me what I was afraid of.  I hadn’t thought I was afraid of anything but as we sat there and I thought about it I realized I am afraid of being alone and lonely.  I’m having a hard time watching my old friends from our old church grow more closely together, even though that is wonderful and what’s supposed to happen, because I feel I’m drifting away from them.  I’m missing my college girls – and anticipating when my youngest also leaves – and realize they’ve been some of my closest friends all throughout their growing up years and now they are moving on, so to speak.  Continue reading →

No Fear

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They said three days.  So why was I still waiting to hear from them?  Granted, Monday happened to be Labor Day, and of course the lab was closed that day, so that didn’t help.  If it was nothing I would have heard by now.  The not knowing was so hard.  If only I knew the situation fully I could face it, but facing an unknown, invisible enemy was awful and seemed impossible.  I could hardly keep my mind from trying to figure out or imagine what it was, what the outcome would be.  During that time of waiting, the anxiety was so intense that my very nerve endings seemed on edge, all over my body, as if fear was continually pricking my skin. Continue reading →

The culprit

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Walking and talking – one of my favorite things to do with a friend.  We covered 3-4 miles on a sunny, cool morning and many topics ranging from parenting teenagers, memories, misc. stuff, our parents, church, and faith.   My friend shared something with me that I want to share with you.  She had looked up “discouragement” in a commentary.  The author offered four reasons why we get discouraged as believers: the hardness of the way, the difficulty of the task, the affluence of the wicked, and desires that remain unfulfilled.  These all totally make sense to me and I could easily relate to each one.  The fact that life is often not as we expected it to be, especially when following Jesus, can be discouraging.   To see others who aren’t living for Christ and seem to have so much, or have it easy is discouraging if we let it be.  Going through tragedy, sickness, unemployment, persecution, or any other “trial” can definitely wear on us and discourage us.  For each of these discouragement “triggers” my friend said a Bible verse was listed to show the remedy for each one according to God.  Oddly enough, each verse contained the words, “fear not.” Fear is the culprit!   If you think about a tough circumstance or trial you’ve been through, fear is bound to be involved somehow:  fear of the unknown, fear of things turning out different than we hope, fear that we won’t make it through, fear that we’re inadequate for the task, fear of others’ opinions, fear of not having what we need or want, fear of failing…

1732461-9-just-for-today-i-will-not-be-afraidWhen I don’t fully trust God it shows fear, and that leads to discouragement.  Conversely, when I decide to lean out over the edge of the unknown and fully trust in God, even though I can’t see what’s coming, I have such peace and freedom.

Our enemy, satan, loves to use fear.   Continue reading →