Kaleidoscope

When I surrendered, all my thoughts, dreams, plans, expectations, hopes and even some beliefs fell as if the surface they were resting on was suddenly yanked out from underneath.  The ground below was hard and they shattered.  So many pieces lay in piles all jumbled up. What a mess! They had seemed so valuable – something to be desired – but now all was broken.

Before I could reach a state of panic or overwhelming sadness, I felt Jesus’ strong hand on my shoulder, silently telling me to just be still.  He stepped past me crouching there in my disappointment and scooped up all the fragments and shards in His hands.  Then he got up and turned away from me for a while as I nursed my wounds from wayward pieces that had cut me.  He worked without speaking.  The silence became so complete it almost smothered me as I sat waiting.  I didn’t know what He was doing, He seems to enjoy secrecy sometimes.  He didn’t even want my help, if you can imagine that.  Continue reading

Squeaky Wheel

They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Does that mean that the broken vessel that speaks up or hollers out gets God’s attention and help?  Well, what if the heart longs to do that but there are no words?  What if all that comes out when I try to yell is a raspy whisper?  Will He stop, turn around and notice me?  What if I’m not sure how to call out or even what the real reason for my mess is? Continue reading