Standing by while you hurt

Someday you’ll understand how much I mean it when I say that when you’re happy, I’m really happy and when you hurt, I hurt.  It’s because I love you so much, more than I could ever make you understand.  But someday when you’re a mom and you have to stand by and watch your child learn through hurt, you’ll know what I mean.

I think of the time your daddy had to stand by and watch you get stitches in your lip.  You didn’t cry much but it wasn’t easy for him to do.  He knew it was for your good so he stood by.  He didn’t get in the way of the doctor or try to prevent it from happening.

I remember the heartbreaking time I had to hold you with both arms on my lap while you squirmed and screamed, as a nurse drew your blood for an important test.  Of course you didn’t understand since you were so young, but I had to because it was going to help you.

You know how it was when we used to plant flowers in front of the house and then water them really well.  Sometimes they were so small and fragile that the water pouring down seemed to flatten them.  However, the next day, Continue reading

Daredevils

What some find entertaining, I often find too stressful to enjoy watching:  daredevils.  Those reckless, bold, wild people who love to walk a tightrope way too high over a busy street or catapult themselves across canyons or jump long rows of semi-trucks, just for fun, just to prove they can do it.  Have you noticed that a single danger isn’t usually enough?  “Not only will I jump my motorcycle over these trucks, I’ll do it BLINDFOLDED!  And we’re setting all the trucks on FIRE!  AND I’ll be holding my tiny, helpless kitten ‘Snuffy’ as I jump across!  I SPIT in the face of fear and death!”  Did Snuffy get a say in this??  The crowd leans forward on the edge of their seats to watch, holding their breath, loving every minute.  Continue reading

21 years and counting

21 years ago today I stood in a beautiful dress, in a sun-filled sanctuary, with many happy faces watching – facing the man I knew God had chosen for me.  We confidently and happily vowed faithfulness and love to one another and as a couple, to God.  We walked out of that room as husband and wife.  It was a beautiful, sunny April day.  Surrounded by many friends and family members, we celebrated what God had given us.

There have been lots of joyful times along the way.  Lots of good memories.  Lots of laughter and blessings.  There have also been lots of challenges, troubles, obstacles, and “opportunities for growth” individually and as a couple.

Before we were married, John felt a call from God to serve full-time in ministry.  As we made our way through the years of seminary, working extra jobs, raising 3 little girls, barely making it by, and then starting our first pastorate in New Mexico, I realized God was calling me too.  He called me to stand beside John, to serve alongside Him, to use my gifts to enhance whatever John was doing.  I don’t feel like it was an accident – it was on purpose.  The call to be a pastor’s wife is real – it’s not just a role you accidentally fall into.

We’ve faced a lot together and I know there will be more in the future that requires us to pull together rather than apart, to lean on each other and on God, to pray, to wait, to be there for each other.  All of the fearful times, the sad times, the disappointing and discouraging times, dumb decisions and better ones, misunderstandings and making up times, waiting and trusting times have deepened our love for each other and strengthened us.  I wouldn’t want to face it with anyone else.  I’m so glad God gave me John.

So here’s to 21 years, Honey, and to many more.

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