Tag Archives: depression

This is me

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Don’t compare your real everyday life with someone else’s highlight reel. That’s good advice I heard once about social media. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram can be comparison traps. What most of us post are the good moments, the vacation photos, the happy birthday group shots, the days off, the kids graduating or performing or doing something cute. We don’t usually post the flat tires, the grumpy days at work, the late payment credit card statements, the cat’s poop on the carpet, or pics of our kids in time-out in tears with angry faces. Continue reading →

No Hierarchy of Servants

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My parents were celebrated Sunday by the church they’ve pastored for the last six years.  They’re retiring not only from that pastorate but from more than 43 years of ministry all over the place.  It was a special day and as I watched and listened to what people shared and thought about how God has used them throughout all that time I was thankful, amazed and proud.   It was no rose-lined path they walked even though there definitely were beautiful places here and there.  They have faced their share of trouble, as we all do.  My dad sank into a deep depression and burnout when I was about 21.  He took some time away and returned ready to share some of the issues he was wrestling with, including expectations others had for his life.  His parents, my grandparents, were missionaries and somehow while growing up my dad perceived there is a hierarchy of servants when it comes to ministry for Jesus.  If you’re committed to Christ you’ll serve in a church, if you’re extra committed you’ll be a pastor, and if you’re über committed Continue reading →

Good Pain

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One of the odd things about my breast cancer, when I discovered it almost 7 years ago, was that I had no symptoms other than the tiny lump I had found by pressing with my hand one morning.  I told my surgeon, puzzled, “But I don’t feel sick, I haven’t had any other problems.”  He said, “You wouldn’t at this point.  Cancer is simply new cell growth in a place where it’s not supposed to be.  So unless it had grown very large you wouldn’t otherwise know it was there.”  What a sneaky disease.  I’m so thankful I found it when I did.

No one wants to live with ongoing pain, although some unfortunately do.  It’s a bother.  It hurts.  It disrupts our usual way of life and keep us from doing the things we need to or want to do.  I believe it would actually be worse to live without it.  Continue reading →

Little gusts of wind

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It was another cold, dreary, dark morning that I drove through on my way to work.  At that time in my life I was sinking down into some depression, finding it hard to cope with ongoing stress and pressure.  I really couldn’t explain why otherwise.  It must have been gradual but that month I realized I could hardly get out of bed in the morning and didn’t even want to decide what to wear or put on makeup.  The least little thing brought tears to my eyes.   However, little things encouraged me, too.  For example, when I drove through McDonald’s to get my diet coke each morning there was a cheerful worker named Mary who took my money just about every day.  She’s short, a little rotund, has a tooth or two missing, but always has a kind, cheery voice and smile.  I was amazed how much her happy smile blew a little gust of wind into my droopy sail, even if all she said was “thank you, have a good day!”  I told her that day, “Your kindness and smile make my day.”

In better times, little acts of love are still a blessing.  Today at church during the worship time, we were singing along when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.  I turned around to see a friend’s smiling face.  Continue reading →