Tag Archives: disappointment

Not that I want to go there again…

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Last year was fraught with stress, pressure, hurt, questions, doubts, frustrations…you name it!  In fact the last few years for us were pretty stressful in one way or another and brought some disappointments here and there.  That’s the way it is for everyone, I know, it just seemed to be ultra concentrated for a while.  My heart was gasping for God like suffocating lungs for oxygen.  I had to hear His voice, tried to find Him day after day and be near Him.

In this new chapter of life we’ve just started many of those pressures have been relieved.  Life feels a little easier right now.  The only problem is, how do I stay so intimately connected to God like I was before?  It seems I searched for Him more fervently when I didn’t know where the resources to meet our needs in each day were coming from or when I felt so at a loss for solutions that I simply fell into Him in hope that He had them ready.

It’s not like I want to go back, no, no, no, Continue reading →

Standing by while you hurt

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Someday you’ll understand how much I mean it when I say that when you’re happy, I’m really happy and when you hurt, I hurt.  It’s because I love you so much, more than I could ever make you understand.  But someday when you’re a mom and you have to stand by and watch your child learn through hurt, you’ll know what I mean.

I think of the time your daddy had to stand by and watch you get stitches in your lip.  You didn’t cry much but it wasn’t easy for him to do.  He knew it was for your good so he stood by.  He didn’t get in the way of the doctor or try to prevent it from happening.

I remember the heartbreaking time I had to hold you with both arms on my lap while you squirmed and screamed, as a nurse drew your blood for an important test.  Of course you didn’t understand since you were so young, but I had to because it was going to help you.

You know how it was when we used to plant flowers in front of the house and then water them really well.  Sometimes they were so small and fragile that the water pouring down seemed to flatten them.  However, the next day, Continue reading →

New Every Morning

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mer • cy [mur see] noun
1.  compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one’s power
2.  the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment

Do you ever feel like you’ve really grown, reached some new milestones in your faith and become stronger, only to look in the mirror one day to see a shallow, doubting, pouting, childish disciple looking back? Continue reading →

Faith Hero #2 – Jonah

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“One day long ago, God’s Word came to Jonah, Amittai’s son: ‘Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They’re in a bad way and I can’t ignore it any longer.’ But Jonah got up and went the other direction…”  Jonah 1:1-3  The Msg

When I think of the word “hero”, I don’t typically think of Jonah.  The poor guy gets a bum rap, but he brought that on himself.  He was human, like us, after all.  He faced his share of disappointments, a number of which we can read about in the book named after him in the Bible.

When we first meet him, he has just heard a message from God, the Creator of everything that exists, the Almighty Father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  “Go to Nineveh and tell them they better turn from their wicked ways or it’s ‘hasta la vista baby’ to their entire existence.”  Disappointment #1:  Jonah is given a task he doesn’t like.  Maybe he was hoping God would send him to minister in the luxurious coastal towns of good repute where the people were kind and pleasant.   The Bible tells us that he immediately got up and started walking in the opposite direction from Nineveh. Continue reading →

Time to Study some Faith Heroes

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In Hebrews chapter 12 of the Bible, we read the description of an inspiring scene:

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!    (Hebrews 12:1-3  The Message)

Picture the race we’re running with Jesus.  The narrow way is lined with all sorts of people who have already finished and cheer us on!  They’re not just enthusiastic observers, they ran the race before we did and finished.  They’ve been where we are and have persevered.  They are role models for us, people who dealt with this frustrating battle with sinful nature, doubt, disappointment, fatigue and more.  I like the way The Message puts it when talking about the chief role model, about learning from Jesus and how he ran the race, “study how he did it….go over that story again, item by item…”  I think it also helps to remember the heroes of faith told about in the Bible and how they lived, as well.  That’s why God wanted us to know about them in His word, right?  There’s so much to be learned from the stories of their lives.  I want to think about some of them in the next few posts and how they dealt with disappointment.

Everyone faces disappointment.  I guess it can be a weight that slows us down in our race if we dwell on it, push it down inside, or let it pile up with other disappointments until they all blend together turning into bitterness and resentment.

Some disappointments from the past year or so, maybe longer, have begun to prick the inside of my heart, showing me that I haven’t really dealt with them or thrown them off so that I can run better.  I’d much rather sprint lightly with airy freedom than slog along with heavy feet.  Time to study up on some faith heroes.  Care to join me?  Stay tuned.

You have reason to sing

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There have been times when choosing to praise God in spite of something traumatic happening in my life brought healing.  It may not have come at the very instant I made the choice to speak or sing something to God, but it came.  For some reason, when you force yourself to shift your thinking away from pain, disappointment, discouragement, fear, or worry – if only for a moment – to proclaim the things you know to be true, it’s as if God cuts a slit in the dark shroud that’s suffocating you and allows a shaft of brilliant hope to shine in.  Courage grows, freedom shows it’s beautiful face again.  When we say or think, “God is still the God He was before” or “God is still on the throne” or “He never changes, He is still faithful, He still cares about me” or any number of truths like these we’re taking a step toward Him, putting ourselves out there, with arms reaching forward in faith.  We’re waiting for Him to make the next move and pull us closer, to refine us, to beautify us, to do a miracle and somehow bring something good out of something completely awful.  Sometimes we have no idea how any good can come out of what we’re facing, but we trust.  We praise.

I guess that’s the ticket – when we praise in spite of circumstances we are proclaiming our faith.  We are saying “I still believe, God.  I don’t feel You, I don’t see You.  I don’t hear You right now.  But I’m choosing to believe that You’re still good and You’re still there.  You’re still God.”  The Bible tells us many times that faith pleases God.  In fact, it tells us that without faith you cannot please Him.  Many of his people in the Old Testament, before Jesus came to save them from sin, were justified simply because they had faith.

Choosing to praise in pain or any trial also gets our eyes off of ourselves and back onto Jesus and the purpose He has for us.  We can begin moving forward rather than being stuck knee-deep in sinking sand or muck.

I watched a video today of a worship leader from the Hillsong Church in Australia who endured a terrible disappointment and loss, yet chose to praise God.  Watch it and let God speak to your heart.  Listen to the lyrics of the song, too.  This has become my new favorite.

Bummer

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img_0387Yesterday afternoon I hopped into our gold mini-van with my three daughters and two of their friends.  We headed happily down the road toward Ft. Wayne to see “Winter Jam” an annual concert event with 5-6 great Christian bands and a speaker.  My girls and I have probably been to 4-5 Winter Jams in the past few years and love it every time.  We had been looking forward to it for several months.

The cool thing about Winter Jam is that the tickets are only $10 each.  Of course, there is no reserved seating so you have to get there early to get a good seat.  We didn’t think about the fact that if enough peeps showed up, you have to get there early to get a seat period.  Well, we weren’t as early this year with the 2-hour drive and having to wait until school was out to take off so when we got there, the doors had already opened and there was a mile-long line twisting and winding all through the broad parking lot.  img_0393At least it was sunny out, even though still chilly.  We waited, walked a few steps, waited some more, hoped and hoped as we got closer that before long the line would really start moving and we’d be finding our way to some seats and an awesome evening of music, shouting, standing and clapping, and fun.

img_0390A guy came out and started walking from the back of the line up toward where we stood.  We heard him telling people something as he walked along.  As he got closer we heard him talking about an extra music appearance at a local church following the concert and then he turned to us and said, “You’re not getting in.  Sold out show.”  After a moment of shock and disbelief, the line started breaking up as the people around us began to wander back to their cars, vans and church buses.  We stood there for a moment looking at each other – “What?!”  “No way!”   Continue reading →