Tag Archives: friend

Day 19 – A time to praise

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1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  NLT

One activity is missing from that list:  Praise.  Maybe it’s because it is always the time to praise, no matter what else is happening, no matter what other time it is or what other activity is right for that time.  There’s something about praise that changes the heart’s attitude, that lifts the spirit, that centers our utmost self and settles us.

This morning as I went to work my heart was heavy, like a big, dripping wet towel.  The weight of fear, anxiety and sadness seemed to even weigh me down physically.  I took deep breaths and sighs, felt like I was a little piece of lead sitting in my desk chair.  It was an effort to smile and greet my co-workers and people in the building.  My dear friend, Jenene, asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her and I agreed.  She is a patient, loving, listening friend and let me splutter and spurt my frustration, hurts and bewilderment all over her.   As I did the pressure lifted.  All that pent up “stuff” coming out of my heart made room for peace and a sense of “ahhhhh.”  I remembered not to take everything quite so seriously.  I remembered that God is in control, that what I face is not different from just about everyone else, and that I wasn’t alone in any sense of the word.  My heart decided that it’s a time to praise.

I praise God for:

  • Showing me in a few small ways that He is at work.  When I can’t see what He’s doing I start thinking He’s forgotten or is taking too long or got busy helping someone else.  When I start thinking that, God says “now is a time to wake up and have faith!”
  • Giving me some quality time with my youngest making muffins and talking after supper.
  • For reminding me as I woke up this morning that His mercy is new every morning and that I need to give my daughter a clean start each day, too.
  • For the beee-you-ti-ful sunshine and warm air today!  I actually drove home with my window open.  Now that is awesome.
  • For quiet time this evening with no TV, no noise.
  • For a good jog and the legs to carry me.
  • For my family, home, pets, stuff, job, and everything else that makes this earthly life tick.  Thank you, God!
  • For God’s amazing goodness, purity, unchanging nature, strength and wisdom, power and might, artistic ability and imagination.  There is no one like Him!
  • For music to sing along with.
  • For my sister and mom and the fun phone conversations we have.
  • For possibilities.
  • For a boss who, when giving a reference, was a true advocate for me and my hubby and almost threatened to cause a ruckus if we were knowingly welcomed into an unhealthy situation.   I’m blessed to have a boss who is also a really good friend.
  • For coconut cream Easter eggs, as sugary and fattening as they may be.  They are a little piece of heavenly cloud floated down to earth and put into a little white cardboard box.
  • For hope in knowing my life is in God’s hands and I have nothing to fear.

Applause, everyone. Bravo, bravissimo! Shout God-songs at the top of your lungs!
God Most High is stunning,
astride land and ocean…
Loud cheers as God climbs the mountain,
a ram’s horn blast at the summit.
Sing songs to God, sing out!
Sing to our King, sing praise!
He’s Lord over earth,
so sing your best songs to God.
God is Lord of godless nations—
sovereign, he’s King of the mountain.
Princes from all over are gathered,
people of Abraham’s God.
The powers of earth are God’s—
he soars over all.        – Psalm 47  The Msg

Day 3 – Alone

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Forty days is a long time to spend wandering in a rocky, dusty wilderness, especially without food.  Lots of time for thinking, praying, listening, walking, resting, trying to sleep.  It was hard for the tanned and sweaty man not to think about the gnawing hunger and thirst inside.  Then there were the moments of temptation and taunting from the enemy, so artfully crafting arguments to try to persuade Him to abandon his true purpose, even His true identity.  Would he be able to keep his weakening heart and tired eyes focused on obedience and perseverance to complete this time of solitude, to be honed and made more ready for what was coming?  He had God’s Word, He WAS God’s Word and the enemy was no match for that or for Him.   Even so, heading into the wilderness and surviving its lessons and temptations, Jesus was alone.

Once he began teaching and performing miracles, the people couldn’t get enough of Him.  He would teach, heal and love all day, get in a boat with his disciples, arrive at a different place only to see a sea of smiling, eager faces of those who wanted to hear him teach, to have his attention, to feel his healing touch.   Reading about his compassion even when he must have been physically exhausted always amazes me.  No wonder Jesus often got up early before the sun even came up, and went off somewhere by himself.  That time of quiet prayer with God must have been refreshing, even imperative.

Living life with the men He called to follow Him for three years, journeying from town to town, sleeping in others’ homes or outside under the stars, or even by the sea, interacting with hundreds of people in crowds everyday, must have been wonderful, tiring, rewarding, and disappointing all at the same time.  There must have been times when he would pause from teaching to look into the bewildered eyes of his friends and disciples, seeing that they didn’t really understand what He was saying or who He really was.  In those times, I think He felt alone.  Continue reading →

WTDWYDKWTD #4

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While cleaning out files I paused to look through one I had long ago labeled “correspondence.”  In it, I’ve saved a copy of just about every Christmas letter we’ve sent out as well as some stationery and postcards yet to be used, and a few notes that were evidently “save-worthy”.  I leafed through the letters and smiled (sometimes laughed) to myself as I read them – the scenes replaying in my mind of the years gone by with our girls, from babyhood to the teenage years.  I then pulled out a letter-sized envelope addressed to us when we lived in New Mexico, our first pastorate.  It was from our dear friend, Gil Stafford, professor at the seminary where John attended.  I had the blessed opportunity to work for him for a short while when I was secretary for CBH, the Church of God radio program of which he was speaker.  I would go to his office at the seminary once a month, take letters, go over business, then visit with him.  He never made me feel like I needed to hurry away and soon became someone I would open my heart to and ask questions of, even pray with.  He had so much wisdom and love for God and the Bible, was cheerful and kind every time.  I’ve heard that the word “enthusiastic” comes from the Greek words “en theos” which mean “”in God” or “God within.”  Gil was definitely enthusiastic.

staffordimageOver the two years we worked together he became a really good friend.  He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls.  One night they had us over for dinner.  We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn.  It was such a lovely night.   I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary. Continue reading →

WTDWYDKWTD #3

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“The godly offer good counsel…”  Psalm 37:30

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume…”  Proverbs 27:9

If you know me at all, you know that when something is on my mind I need to talk about it…a lot.  I have times of quiet, to be sure, when I need to pray and think, but I also need to process my thoughts by talking with someone.  I think everyone is like that to a certain extent.   My husband is my absolute best friend and partner, but sometimes I need to talk to someone a little more outside the situation – someone who hopefully can be objective.

There’s wisdom in seeking out a godly friend to listen and give feedback when you’re not sure what to do.  Be sure to choose your listener/adviser/counsel wisely.  (Whenever I say “choose wisely” I think of the 3rd Indiana Jones movie scene when the bad guy chose the wrong holy chalice and got his face melted off.  Please…choose wisely!)  It doesn’t make sense to ask just anyone what I should do or what they think, if they don’t believe the same things I do.  For instance, if I shared a story about someone who had hurt me with a non-believing friend, they might advise me to just ignore that person from now on or even take revenge somehow.  Continue reading →

This is your chance

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We watched the movie “Walk the Line” today, about Johnny Cash’s life.  It was tragic to almost the very end.  Life on the road took its toll on his marriage.  He turned to alcohol and drugs to keep going.  Broken relationships, fits of rage, highs then lows, then deep regret.  This seemed to be the cycle for him.  Along the way he met June Carter, whom he fell in love with (even while still married).  She kept her distance – for the most part – and he sunk further down into despair and addiction.  When he had just about reached the lowest of his lows, June and her parents decided to help.  They threw out his drugs and stayed with him at his house while he went through terrible withdrawals.  They even scared off the visiting drug dealer with a shotgun.  When Johnny finally came through and was in his right mind, he sat weakly in the bed on the verge of tears and told June,

Johnny:  You’re an angel.
June: No, I’m not.
Johnny: You’ve been there with me.
June: I had a friend who needed help. You’re my friend.
Johnny: But I’ve done so many bad things.
June: You’ve done a few, that’s true.
Johnny: My Daddy’s right. It should have been me on that saw. Jack (his brother) was so good. He would have done so many good things. What have I done? Just hurt everybody I know. I know I’ve hurt you. I’m nothin’.
June: You’re not nothin’. You are not nothin’. You’re a good man, and God has given you a second chance to make things right, John. This is your chance, honey.

“This is your chance.”  What a sweet moment in the story – I was so moved.  How true that is for all of us and how true for so many who haven’t even heard it yet!  How many people are out there feeling like they’ve messed up so much they’re nothing…worth nothing.   Continue reading →

Another chance

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As we sat outside Starbucks on the patio, enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze, we laughed and laughed.  Rather than feeling awkward like I feared it might be, I was actually completely at ease and felt like I did the last time I got to be with these friends.  “How long has it been?” we asked each other.  “16 years?  That doesn’t seem possible!”   We took turns catching each other up, going back to 16 years ago and giving the nutshell version of life for us since then.  So much has happened since we lost touch with each other – much blessing, much hurt and growing.

I actually didn’t think this day would ever happen.  The friends I’m talking about were very close and dear friends to John and I when we were first married.  We shared community and prayer like never before with them and several other couples in our first small group experience.  We spent lots of time together, talking, laughing, walking, praying, sharing.  A few years into this great friendship, John and I moved to Florida to work in a church there.  Coming back to visit one summer was fun, but already felt a little different.  You know how things change in a relationship when you’re not able to spend much time together.  You tell yourself that it will probably never be quite like it was.

God began leading us different ways, as if I saw my special friend and her husband walking farther and farther away from me until I couldn’t see them at all.   Life has a way of becoming so busy that unless we’re really intentional about staying in touch with people, it just doesn’t happen.  We lost touch.  Continue reading →

No Agenda

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Today I met Jesus for lunch.  I had no plans and was thinking of what to do when I heard him suggest it to my heart.  I gladly went to one of my favorite nearby eateries and sat down, imagining Him seated across from me.  I sat quietly and prayed silently, “Here I am.  I’m just going to be quiet so you can talk today.”  I could almost see him smile at me.  I smiled to myself and waited some more.  He just kept smiling.  I felt such peace and contentment.  I thought about lunch yesterday, how I had met two girlfriends and how much fun it was to visit with them.  We didn’t need to talk about church stuff or conflict or issues, we just wanted to be together and it was wonderful.  As I thought about that, I heard Jesus say, “That’s how I feel.  I’m just glad you wanted to be with me.  I have no agenda today.  I just want to spend time with you.”  The love in His words overwhelmed me.  What freedom!  “You mean sometimes we can just be – I don’t need to pray anything.  I can just sit here and enjoy You being here?”   Jesus smiled again.    Thinking about it now still moves me.  How many times do I come to Him with a long list of prayer requests or guilt over the fact that I haven’t actually said the names of everyone on my list out loud so he can answer my prayers?   How often do I feel He has a big agenda for our times together, that it’s always going to be a time to discipline me or train me?

Could it really be okay to just sit in his arms or across a table from Him and let Him love me?   Continue reading →

As Iron Sharpens Iron

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Today God answered a prayer I prayed recently. I prayed he would keep me humble. I don’t know why I keep praying that prayer. He always answers and it is always painful – sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. This time it involved something I have done for a while and did recently that hurt a dear friend of mine. I don’t like admitting it or facing the parts of myself that have yet to be pruned away completely. At the same time, I realize that although God wants us to “forget” ourselves so that He can shine through us, he doesn’t want us to go so low as to feel sorry for ourselves or dwell on the awfulness of a flaw or mistake.

knifesharpMy friend graciously forgave me as we talked this afternoon. I’ve been thinking about it since and remembered that verse in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” As we walk our path alongside our friends we sometimes clash, sometimes accidentally bang into one another, sometimes get scraped. If we’re following Jesus, He can use these “incidents” to sharpen each of us, to mold us, to perfect us. This type of shaping is bound to hurt – sometimes a little, sometimes a lot – but the end result can be good.

God’s been speaking to me a lot lately about forgetting myself, about letting Him always be in the lead and in control, about trusting him and others around me. It’s not about me (where have I heard that before?). Today I was reminded that things don’t have to be perfect or just so to glorify God. Don’t I think that God can work in and through all that we do, perfectly done or not? Who’s to say my way is the perfect right way anyway? That alone speaks of a pride issue in my heart – or that I think pretty highly of my opinion.

This past week in church we heard a message about the poor in spirit inheriting all that God has to offer, now and forever. Poor in spirit – realizing I have nothing without God, that without God and his mercy I would be utterly lost and completely without hope. It was evidently time for a reminder for me! I’m thankful for a gracious friend who doesn’t begrudge me the scrapes I unintentionally gave her this week.

Maybe God will even use our rough patch of path to hone her as well, making her even more beautiful and effective for His use. I sure hope He does that in me.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Prov. 27:17 NLT

My mom, my friend

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img_0614I just enjoyed a few days with my mom.  She came over to visit since my girls are on spring break so I took two days off work.  We saw a movie, shopped ’til we dropped (groceries and the mall), ate some M & M’s and ice cream, drank diet cokes & coffee, and just relaxed.  My favorite part of the visit was when we had breakfast together at Bob Evans one morning, not because of the yummy omelet and pancake, but because of the heartfelt open conversation.

One of my mom’s famous lines when I was a teenager was “I’m your mom, so I can’t always be your friend.”  In other words, “I’m laying down the law here whether you like me or not.  We’re not gonna be buddies right now.”  It was the right thing to do and I’ve told my girls that quite a few times myself.  They just love it.

Thankfully that’s only true for a while.  Once I got married and began my life with John the relationship changed a little.  We were more friends than mom and daughter, though I still felt like her little girl.  When I became a mom myself, all sorts of light bulbs went on in my head as I experienced the joys and trials of raising little ones.  “Ohhhhh – now I see why she said that or did that.”  As the years go by, I’ve become more and more comfortable just being my mom’s friend.   The roles have changed.  I’m not the self-centered teenager I used to be.  I actually see that my mom has needs, has hurts, has things she wants and needs to talk about.  She wants to share joys and answers to prayer and have me rejoice with her.  It never occurred to me before when my mind was preoccupied with dating, doing my own thing, and arguing with her about curfews.  I forgot that my mom and dad were people, too, not just parents.  Imagine that!

As we sat and visited the other day, my eyes were opened a little bit more to the hurts my mom has trudged through and how God has ministered to her heart.   Continue reading →

Dreams on the back burner

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She opened her purse and pulled out a kleenex, dabbing her eyes as she admitted disappointment. “I just feel like my soul is unsettled”, she shared. I can relate to this heartache in a way because we are in a very similar situation. I have a feeling there are more people in this boat with us than we realize, considering the current economic nightmare our country is trudging through. We own a house in the city we left to move here and are in the process of trying to rent it to someone…again. In the meantime we rent a townhouse, which is nice, in a safe, quiet neighborhood, fairly reasonable in price and adequate space for our family and two fur-balls we call pets. Deep in my heart is the dream that someday we’ll have our own place, and all our stuff will be in one place. We’ll have more room to have friends in and can really settle in. We’ll have a yard and a garage and on it goes. My friend is in this same boat – she and her husband own a home and can’t sell it. Meanwhile they’re living with family here. We both admitted we have more than we need but we can’t shake the dream of each being settled in a place of our own.

ist2_2936389-young-couple-dreaming-about-a-houseI don’t really know how to let go of this dream. It’s a daily process – trying to remain content and thankful and focus on other things. It’s interesting the things that make us feel settled in our hearts and souls: having a permanent residence, all belongings moved in and in their places, a steady job, a routine we’re used to, comfort zone stuff. Vice versa, temporary situations, not having all your belongings accessible to you, lots of change, living with someone else and feeling like you’re an outsider – like it’s not really your home – all of these seem to keep the contentedness of heart at bay. There seems to be a longing inside most of us to have a place, to have a home, to be settled down.

Maybe that’s why we feel so unsettled in this life. Continue reading →