Tag Archives: friends

What we want

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There were 10 of us at the table so involved in the conversation we never left to go sit in the family room. Empty dessert plates and half-empty cups here and there, we sat with full hearts, heads bowed and eyes closed to pray.

A few hours before, with hugs and handshakes, four other pastor couples from nearby churches joined us in our home. Almost a year ago, I’m pretty sure I heard God tell me we needed to do this, to get together with the area pastors and their wives, to become friends and support one another. I procrastinated for no particular reason and then my husband, who met with the pastors to pray recently, helped get the ball rolling.

We all talked and laughed and talked some more. Interestingly enough, there was no talk of our churches but more about Continue reading →

Sometimes the grass is greener in the past

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When Kimmi first went to college, the school advised the students to stay on campus once classes started for at least six weeks before going home for a visit.  The purpose behind that recommendation is that it helps them engage with the other students and the college community as well as cutting ties with home a bit (getting used to being away from home).  I think it’s a great idea and though it was a hard adjustment at first (probably harder for me than for her), it did help Kimmi step into the college phase of her life more on her own.  She began “leaving” the phase of life she had with us at home – an important, necessary step to growing up.

When first away at school it might be easy for kids to keep wanting to go home and be in the familiar, comfortable situation they just came from.  Looking back, the grass might seem greener at home in the past where their high school friends lived, where they were comfortable in a home church and so on.  If they’ll turn around and look forward, however, step out and give it time, they find that independence, new friendships, experiences, possibilities and more can become their new “normal” and be pretty exciting.   They can change and grow, becoming more and more of who they are meant to be.  The world opens up in new ways that they wouldn’t have known if they went back and stayed at home.

I realize that sometimes when I look back the grass looks greener in the past.  This past weekend we went “home” to Indiana to attend our college homecoming weekend, see our college girls, and attend church where we did when we lived there.  We saw many old friends, enjoyed beautiful sunny fall weather, were blessed by a moving, encouraging worship service at church, and spent some really good quality time with our daughters.

John and I both agreed today that a little part of ourselves felt like it would be nice to go back there to stay.  It was comfortable there for us in many ways and we have lots of dear friends there.  We fit in and knew our place.  We have a lot of history there, too, all the way back to before we got married so of course it feels like home.

If I am honest when I look back though, Continue reading →

Known

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I’m thinking today about knowing others and being known.

I may know your face.  You look familiar.

I may know your name.

I may know about your family, your job, and where you live.

I may know what type of music or movies you like, or what books you read.

I may know what you’re good at doing.

I may know whether you like being with people or alone.

I may know what makes you angry, what makes you truly happy, and what matters most to you. Continue reading →

‘Til the very end

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The goodbyes began this week.  It seems as though we’re walking in between waving farewell to friends here and waving hello to friends ahead.  It’s usually a good thing if that in between period doesn’t last too long.  More than anything, more than sadness, I feel deeply thankful for the connections we’ve made here knowing I don’t have to break any of them.  I get to keep the friends I’ve made and take them along with me in my heart as I meet new ones.

One of my goodbyes will be to my 96, almost 97, year old grandmother Retha.  She lives in a nursing home in Anderson and I went by to visit her today.  Luckily she was up in her wheelchair instead of lying in bed, so I took her down the hall to a nice, open room with big windows letting in the sunshine.  We sat facing each other and catching up.  Grandma does remarkably well considering her age.  She was really happy when I told her John has a pastorate now and we have a good place to go live and serve.  She was also happy it’s not terribly far away.

A good friend of mine, who has been friends with my grandmother for much longer, is a lady named Ann Smith.  Ann radiates joy and life out of her relationship with Jesus, even now in her eighties.  The last time I saw her she gave me a Bible verse to read to my grandma.  I shared it with grandma today.  It’s Isaiah 46:3-4: Continue reading →

Connecting

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I’m in the middle of my week-long social media fast and so far, so good.  I do miss it, miss that community I feel a part of.  I realize that it’s a habit for me to tweet a lot because whenever things happen or I have a thought I want to share with someone I reach for my phone thinking, “I should tweet that!” and then I remember that I’m not using twitter right now.  I also feel like I don’t know as much of what’s going on in my friends’ and family’s life because I often see on facebook where people are going, what they’re dealing with, and how they feel.  In fact, a day or so ago my sister sent me an email (something I’m still using) and said, “Hey!  What’s going on? John just put on twitter that 3 churches are interested in him?  I need details!”  And I replied, “So do I!  I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  Continue reading →

Don’t be afraid

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It takes someone outside of me to help me see behaviors and pinpoint thoughts/perceptions that aren’t healthy.  Whenever I spend time with my sis, I learn so much.  She is very perceptive and wise and is one of those friends for me who speaks truth into my heart and life.  I take it from her because I’m secure in her love.  She knows me and doesn’t judge me.

Sitting at my kitchen table a few mornings ago, somehow we began talking about connecting to people and trying to fill the need in our hearts to connect with stuff other than intimacy with God.  Jodi asked me what I was afraid of.  I hadn’t thought I was afraid of anything but as we sat there and I thought about it I realized I am afraid of being alone and lonely.  I’m having a hard time watching my old friends from our old church grow more closely together, even though that is wonderful and what’s supposed to happen, because I feel I’m drifting away from them.  I’m missing my college girls – and anticipating when my youngest also leaves – and realize they’ve been some of my closest friends all throughout their growing up years and now they are moving on, so to speak.  Continue reading →

So…

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There have been lots of thoughts churning in my head the last few days – of course when are there NOT lots of thoughts churning in there?  Anyway, here is a window into my crowded head if you’re so inclined to read on:

I think part of my feeling distant from God lately is that I’ve been angry with Him – angry that He hasn’t answered prayers the way I thought.  I mean, did he even take into consideration the five point argument I shared with Him about why my way was good?  And how about that time-table of His?  Why do I think that if something doesn’t happen in a few weeks or even months that it means God isn’t there or doesn’t care?  That is pretty silly.  As much as I thought I was resisting the enemy, I had fallen prey again to his ploy of self-pity and forgetfulness.

Forgetfulness?  About all God has done in my life and in the lives of those around me.  What other proof do I need that He is there and active in our lives?  That He really does care about each of us in love.   There are a number of Bible verses that tell God’s people to recall the things God has done throughout their lives so they won’t lose hope, so they will stay on track, so they will be thankful.  I’ve been forgetting to remember. Continue reading →

Which makes me think of…

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I’m thankful for airplanes that cross miles in such a short time…which makes me think of
Destinations…which makes me think of
Possibility…which makes me think of
New experiences…which makes me think of
Trying something I’ve never eaten before at a restaurant…which makes me think of
The Japanese Grill we visited last week…which makes me think of
Catching scrambled eggs in my mouth in surprise…which makes me think of
Laughter…which makes me think of
All my wonderful friends…which makes me think of
Community…which makes me think of
God’s family of beautiful, diverse, and varied adopted kids…which makes me think of
Being accepted for who I am by Him…which makes me think of
Love and not just surfacy, shallow affection but the deep, wide, and utterly amazing love of God….which makes me thankful all over again.

Day 5 – Filled up

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Today in church we heard a message about emptiness and finding true fulfillment, something that really fills the emptiness we often feel inside.  So many times I’ve tried to fill my heart with other things but they aren’t lasting.  Kind of like the foamy fizz on top of a fountain soda, it fills the cup to the brim for a minute or so but soon goes away leaving lots of empty space.

I realize that I expected facebook to help fill the loneliness I’ve been feeling.  It helps a little but I have to admit that facebook is mostly fizz.  Connections there are on the surface and not the same as when we connect face to face or voice to voice.  I feel so much more connected to someone if we talk on the phone or in person, if I can actually be with them and see their face (not just a photo and status), can hear their laughter and voice, and feel their hugs.  (I still like facebook just realizing it can’t really fill me up)

Today we met some friends for lunch and while we waited for them to arrive, a whole gang of other friends from our old church showed up.  My girls and I practically ran to the door to give them hugs and greet them Continue reading →

Snippets

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Just a few recent thoughts…

Last week I went through an awful day of emotion and wrestling with God over the possibility of going to a town or church where I didn’t want to go, where I didn’t think I would be happy, where it wasn’t my “style.”  As I vented to him all the way driving to work, I pretty much heard him say, “So, are you saying you refuse to go if I ask you to go there?  You refuse to obey?”  I remembered that if God’s promises are true, and I believe they are, then going where He says to go will be good in the long run because He promised He has good plans for me and my family.  I also remembered, with his help, that this is not about me!  How many times do I have to learn that lesson?  Sheesh.  I’m sure that is what He is wondering, too.  Just when I think I’ve learned all about surrender, God takes me to a deeper level.  It hurts and it’s hard.  It was a difficult, emotional day but it ended in peace when I finally, in my heart, submitted to Him and said “Uncle” once more.  Whatever you say, God.  Seriously.  I give.   I joked with a good friend that afternoon that sometimes surrender feels like the “S” word to me.  I don’t mean that disrespectfully, just being honest.  Sometimes it stinks (at least it seems to at the moment).  My friend asked, “so what you’re telling me is you’re standing in a big pile of surrender right now?”  We laughed really hard and the day got better from there.

I’ve been thinking more about loving people in their own love language.  Lately God’s been showing me how to love my girls in the way that shows love to them the most.  I’m still trying to figure out one of my girls – I think I know but am not sure.  The other two – I’ve got them nailed.  John and I took assessments this past year and one was the love language profile.  One of my big love languages right now is “acts of service”.  When someone helps me with something it makes me feel loved.  I also love hugs and attention and words of affirmation but at this point in my life, acts of service speak loud and clear.  Once John found out, he’s been helping more around the house and showing more thoughtfulness…and you know what?  It’s true!  I feel so loved and valued by him, more than before.  The biggest reason is that I know he’s doing those things purposefully to show me love, knowing it means something to me.  John’s biggest love languages are touch and time.  I’ve been trying harder to pay attention to him when we’re at home and not get too absorbed in the computer or other things that I just exist in the same house or room with him.   What are the love languages of the special people in your life?  Try to find out and then show them love that way.  Watch what happens!

Yesterday I blogged about this wonderful time of rest God is giving us and how good it felt.  Well, today, I felt restless and kind of weird.  Pesky, fickle emotions!  I think sometimes we rest out of obedience.  God actually tells us to rest and we need to obey, on purpose, and rest…be still.  I feel like He’s telling me that today.  Rest, be still, but don’t just sit there…draw nearer to me, Mimi.  I’m going to work on that.  Wait…wrong choice of words.   I’m going to try more intentionally to just be close, dwell near and in Jesus right now.

What funny, odd, silly creatures we humans are sometimes.

We went to see my grandma on Sunday afternoon.  She was actually pretty perky, sitting up in bed, watching TV.  Rather than greet us when we got there she first asked, “What channel is the game on?”  So we helped her get on the right channel.  She is starting to show some dementia because she asks the same questions from time to time.  She joked about getting her phone and remote (both laying next to her hand on her bed) mixed up and John teased her about pointing the phone at the TV by mistake and accidentally calling someone.  She laughed.  At one point she said, “Too bad I don’t have any games we could play” to which I replied, “That’s okay, Grandma, we’ll just watch the game.”  Then she asked us about our church situation (very coherent and sharp).  John answered her as she turned back toward the TV and seemed to zone out for a moment.  Then she said, “Too bad I won’t have any games for us to play, we could make one up” to which I replied, giggling to myself, “That’s okay Grandma, we’ll just watch the game.”  I love her.  I could just imagine what kind of game that would be.  She’s become thinner and tinier, her blue cowl-neck sweater swallowing up her small shoulders and little frame, but she welcomed our hugs and kisses just as warmly and as we left said, “I love you.”

I better go to bed so I can get up and workout with my Wii coach on the game “Active” which is my new favorite thing.  This simulated personal trainer business reminds me of stuff I saw in Tomorrowland at Disney World when I was younger and thought “Yeah, right, that will never happen.”  🙂

You’re special and God loves you very much.  Good night.