Psalm 91

Last Sunday one of our friends at church, who has definitely had his share of troubles, reminded all of us to stop dwelling on and looking at our problems or challenges and look at Jesus instead. A simple truth. I’ve heard it so many times. Why should we do that?

Looking at my problems gives them more power to intimidate, threaten, and overwhelm me.  My mind then defaults to problem solving mode and trying to figure out how to fix it all. This stresses me out because I don’t know all the answers and I can’t fix it all! (Continual lesson and understatement of Mimi’s entire life.)

Looking at Jesus instead makes Him bigger in my eyes and heart, and my problems smaller or at least not occupying all of my attention. Locking my gaze on Jesus, I walk forward in the truth that assures my heart He’s in control, He is able, He is more than enough, His ways are higher, He is good, He loves me, He is faithful, He will help me, and He said He would always be with me. No worries.

The temporary loses out to the eternal. Proper perspective reminds me my hope and heart are sealed for eternity with Jesus. So bottom line, no worries!

Psalm 91 is full of promises from God for his little ones, his people: Continue reading

Hi. My name is Mimi and I’m a control freak.

Secrets keep you “sick.” It’s truth.

If you want to beat a compulsion or addiction the first step is to admit there’s a problem. You have to admit it to yourself and then to other people. The Bible even recommends it: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Hello. My name is Mimi. I’m a control freak.

Over the years I have caused myself so much anxiety and unnecessary stress because my little perfectionistic, likes to have a plan, very busy self feels like I know how things should be. My tendency is to, often subconsciously, try to manipulate and control people or situations to get the outcome I think is best. Just being real, peeps. Anyone feeling me out there?

I’m blessed to have some people in my life, who, along the way have helped me (and still help me) to see this problem and gently bring me to those so important places of realization which leads to being humbled which leads to saying I’m sorry which should lead to me doing less of the aforementioned attempted controlling. That is the ideal anyway!

I can remember a Sunday years ago when my husband (the pastor) woke up sick and our associate pastor was home with a broken foot. I got to church and started trying to figure out what to do for the service. Continue reading

2017

The door swung open and we stepped across the threshold of another new year.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing at the doorway to 2017. Were you someone eager and hopeful, tiptoed or even crouching, ready to skip or leap with a grin into the open space like a little child ready to get outside and make footprints in fresh, undisturbed snow?  Maybe you were reluctant and even afraid to step out, like someone standing under a ledge watching a downpour, not wanting to get drenched in the run to your parked car on the far side of the big parking lot.  Some of you might have stared vacantly at the open space ahead, taking great effort to just take one step. Maybe your heart is numb, worn out or depleted from challenges, disappointments, even grief you walked through in 2016.  You might have marched through, slamming the door behind you, so ready to get last year behind you, wanting to forget it altogether.

Even though we can’t see all that this year will hold, are there life events you’re looking forward to or dreading, or are you not sure what to think?

Lots of people tweeted or “Instagrammed” about the past year, whether or not they met goals, what they’re glad to walk away from, what was good or positive, which things went the way they hoped, which things didn’t. Many blamed 2016 for the tragedies we witnessed, the many well-known, well-loved celebrities that died, a wacky election, and more.  Goals and/or resolutions for the next 365 days (actually 355 as of today) were abundant across all of social media.

I used to blog regularly and it was extremely helpful to me when looking back through posts, like leafing through a diary. Lessons learned, emotions that ran amuck or got stuffed, happy times, frustrations, let downs, and the like filled the “pages.” Writing is a way of processing. It helps me figure out and sort through things. 

I haven’t blogged regularly for a few years now. Part of the reason being I was asking myself, “Who really needs to know what you’re thinking or feeling?” “There are so many opinions, editorials, reflections, and such on the Internet. Why do people need to read yours?” So many words out there, so much noise. Do we really need more?

I like to blog because I like to encourage people, which is a big part of my God-given purpose. I like a sense of community, in which you relate to other people traveling through life, sharing hardships and victories, laughing, telling stories, loving. I love the idea of helping someone else feel less alone in this life. If something I’ve been learning or struggling through or actually conquering would accomplish that, then I want to keep blogging.

So far in 2017, I’ve been reminded that words matter and our thoughts shape the path we take, so I need to keep positive, life-giving words in front of me to help keep my thoughts on the right path. God has been showing me, much to my delight (not really) how much of my life, my choices, my attitudes, and such are driven by pride. I want Him to change that in me, but I also cringe in the asking because I know it will be tough and most likely painful.

What are you learning so far? Can we try to let go of the past and look for the good in this year? Can we trust God and not let fear hinder us like heavy weights around our ankles? There will be “bad” stuff and hard stuff in 2017, there always is. BUT, there will be a lot of good: a lot of possibility, a lot of opportunity, a lot of people to love, a lot to learn, a lot of time to grow and become, a lot of chances to do better, a lot of hope. For those of us who follow Jesus, we can be cheered by the truth that He is timeless and so has already been in the year to come and promises to be with us.

I’d be honored to walk with you. Ready? Here we go.

“Lead on, O King eternal,

We follow, not with fears,

For gladness breaks like morning

Where’re thy face appears” – Ernest W. Shurtleff

Joy Unspeakable

I think when most people hear the word “joy” they think of those moments when we are, as Elizabeth Bennet so beautifully puts it in the movie “Pride and Prejudice”, incandescently happy. Joy is happiness that wells up and spills over. Those celebration moments that we’ll remember forever, the mountaintop experiences that make us pause to soak in, gasp in wonder, or give a deep sigh of contentment…those are moments of joy.

The standout moments in life that covered me in the heart-bursting, gold-sparkling, warm, fuzzy, happiness type of joy are when I walked the aisle with my dad toward my love and when each of our babies was born and we heard “it’s a girl!” for each one.

I had an experience of overwhelming peace and love one summer in the San Bernandino mountains, alone with God by a creek, laying on a rock in the sun. I can’t describe how close I felt to God that day, like I was laying right in the palm of His hand.

I couldn’t even cry the day our oldest daughter got married because I was so full of happiness and love I thought my heart would burst. And if you know me, that’s saying something. It doesn’t take much to make me cry.

Those were definitely joy unspeakable moments.

As I’ve walked this path called life, particularly the path beside and behind Jesus, I’ve learned there is another side of joy. I would not have guessed when I was young that joy would often be accompanied by, or preceded by, sorrow and pain.

Sitting in a waiting room after getting a cancer diagnosis, heart beating hard, mind racing, God gave me a vision of Him standing on a path lined with grass that curved off into the distance. He stood turning to look back with a hand reaching out to me as if to say, “Come on. I’m going with you.” A golden sun shone so brightly behind Him all I could see was His silhouette. Peace washed over me and I remembered I belong to Him. He sees me, He cares. I’m not alone. Joy.  (Even now as I remember and picture it I’m comforted)

I’ve heard stories of a family gathered in a hospital room praying together, holding one another, singing hymns while they surround one they love who is peacefully, sometimes even eagerly, reaching for Jesus and going to heaven. In the deep shadow of hurt and loss, a faint light grows when they think of their loved one finally home where they belong, completely whole and with God. They are thankful this person lived, thankful for all the memories, so thankful the one they loved knew the Savior and they will be reunited with them one day. Even amidst sobs they thank God and have joy.

Joy is born in thankfulness. It is knowing you belong to God, the affirmation that because You are His He loves you, will never forget you or leave you, and is right with you ALL the time, no matter what. Belonging. Love. Hope. Joy.

Joy gradually emerges in surrender and sacrifice when things turn out differently than you hoped or dreamed, but instead of falling into bitterness you turn to Jesus. You are willing to give in and remind yourself you’re not in control, you’re not God, but You know Him and He IS in control…and He is good. You yield, you surrender to God’s ways, you trust and thank Him anyway. Joy.

Remember Stephen, the martyr? He practically exploded with truth when he testified to the Jewish leaders who rejected Jesus. They tried to silence Him by killing his body. But as Stephen’s heart stretched to bursting with love and worship, he seemed to ignore the rocks bruising and cutting him as he looked up toward the sky and exclaimed, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man seated at the right hand of God!” He was captivated by the truth and by His Savior. Even in his painful death, He had joy.

I’m still learning about joy: genuine, rich, enduring, deep-from-the-gut-and-soul joy that comes from choosing to walk with God in gratitude whatever the circumstance.

There have been hard, sad times in the past, are some now, and will be some to come. In those times we can’t rely on our emotions, but on what we know. My husband and I can agree that we know God loves us, He cares, He has always been faithful to us, He will make a way and He has given us so much to be thankful for.

We may not always feel like dancing or shouting or even smiling, but we thank God and trust Him…

and so we have joy.

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:4,6-7 NLT

 

My blessed comfort zone

Comfort zones have gotten a bad reputation. Probably because the idea of staying in a zone of comfort is self-indulgent, non-adventurous, even cowardly. We urge each other to get out of our comfort zones, to not get stuck in them, to be wary of too great a fondness for them.

I learned recently that the origin of the word “comfort” actually means something different than I’ve always thought. The word is made from two Latin word parts, com-, which basically means “together with,” and fortis, which means “strong or strength.”1  When we read that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others”2 what if instead of envisioning Him nestling us in a pile of soft pillows in jammie pants with some hot tea and hugs, we saw that comfort as the strength of His presence with us? It’s an entirely different perspective on comfort zones. 

II Cor. 1:4 “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.”

Paraphrase: In every trial, hurt, or challenge, God’s strong presence is there all the way. When we know this, we can share this truth of “together strength” with God with others who are struggling.

Isaiah 40:1 “Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God.

Paraphrase: “Know I am with you, I will fortify you, uphold you, and never leave your side, my dear ones,” says your God.

Maybe it’s not my comfort zone I need to be wary of, but my “complacency zone.” My comfort zone no longer exists as a stationary, status quo hidey hole, but moves with me as I walk in the unshakable peace of knowing I have the “together strength” of God’s company with me always. That is the greatest comfort! It sustains me through times of pain, failure, change, loss, uncertainty, loneliness, and weariness.

We can serve God and others oh so diligently while still dwelling in our “comfort zone” if we understand God’s comfort to not always be easing pain or pushing challenges out of our way, but the life-changing understanding that we walk in the strong company of God Almighty.

Do you know that? That you can walk and live and thrive in the strong company of God?

Always with us is this God, this devoted Father, this faithful One, who is not only able to do anything, but is also full of unlimited love and grace, true and never changing.

How’s THAT for a comfort zone?

1 from the YouVersion Bible app reading plan “When God Doesn’t Make Sense” by lifechurch.tv

2 II Corinthians 1:4

As It Should Be

Two weeks ago this very night I was standing next to a hospital bed, peering at the chubby-cheeked, puffy-eyed, quiet little one nestled on my daughter’s chest, skin to skin. He opened and shut his hand slowly, his eyes locked on hers as if to say, “There you are, sweet mom who has been carrying me. I wondered what you looked like. I love you.”

The entire weekend opened the old memory boxes in my mind from 1990 when I had my first baby, Kimberly. How surreal to be the ones waiting from across the room (Nathanael’s mom, Maureen, and I), the ones not feeling the contractions but watching with rapt attention each one being drawn out in jaggedy rising and falling lines on the screen over Kimmi’s bed. How truly wonderful to sit and ponder the miracle of life, of a woman carrying a living child, of the baby’s journey from that warm, safe haven out into the world.

We already knew the baby was a boy, and his name was Ezra. The sound of his heartbeat swished along all day on the monitor, our constant companion and reminder there was a little one involved in this labor whom we couldn’t see yet but was absolutely real and alive and amazing.  Psalm 139 played over and over in my head:

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God…”

During the early part of the day and into early afternoon, our time was spent visiting and laughing with Nathanael and Kimmi, as the epidural had done its work and the contractions swelled along without bothering her much.  But as evening approached, I noticed Kimmi getting really quiet and realized she was feeling them. The medicine wasn’t masking the pain as much anymore and so the labor became true to its name.

Sitting across the room, remembering how those contractions feel, I was aching for it to be over for her. Of course, I was helpless to make the pain go away or make things progress any more quickly. It was all part of the process. She didn’t speak much, only what was really necessary. Ezra’s heartbeat kept swishing away, the sun went down and the lights were dim. Nathanael sat on a rolling stool by Kimmi’s bed, holding her hand, sometimes bending down to kiss her cheek, quietly watching the contractions and baby’s heart rate on the monitor.

That image of the two of them in those hours is imprinted in my memory. I saw Kimmi’s husband being her comfort, strength, and more. They are becoming a family, these three, I thought to myself. There were many times when I got to comfort young Kimmi, watch over her, be there for her, and so forth, but now she will more often turn to Nathanael and they will figure things out together. As it should be.

It’s a new chapter of their lives and in ours. Life keeps moving through seasons, bringing change upon change, and we’d do best to roll with it and accept things as they come. Though I’m still a mom, now I’m also a grandma! And, oh my goodness, how I love that little baby boy. As I pray for Ezra and his mom and dad, I will keep trusting God to watch over all three of them as He always has. I get to love on them and watch from my place, but God will lead them and write the story of their sweet family for them.

And that is as it should be.

That wasn’t the plan

I love fictional stories that offer great life lessons, illustrations of good prevailing over evil, or are allegories of faith in God, like The Chronicles of Narnia, Pilgrim’s Progress, even Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. 

There are some pretty great parallels in the Harry Potter series between the events in the story and faith in real life.  That may sound strange, but if you’ve read the books, you probably know what I mean. Ultimately, Harry’s self-sacrifice and coming back to life breaks the curse of the enemy, bringing the enemy’s demise, saving everyone and making things right again.

There is a chapter in one of the last book* called “Felix Felicis” about a potion that will give the one who drinks it pure luck. Harry must get some very crucial, personal and even incriminating information from one of his professors, who has already told him he won’t share it with Harry.  He and his friends concoct a plan to try and convince the professor, or coerce it out of him.  The desired information is crucial if they’re to defeat the enemy.

Harry decides to drink his luck potion and immediately feels as if the day holds limitless potential and possibility. He sets out on the plan he made with his friends, but right away changes his mind, going on his gut or what he feels he should do instead. His friends argue, “That isn’t the plan, Harry!” But he insists, and lo and behold, by following these instincts one after the other, he ends up getting the information from the professor after all, but in an unexpected way, completely different than he planned.

That chapter just shouted to me about how our life could be if instead of making our own plans and rigidly sticking to what we lay out as best, we would live moment by moment, following the urges of God’s Holy Spirit. When I’ve done that, and I am still learning to do it more, I’m amazed at the outcome!  It is so clearly because of God and not because of me, and so clearly wonderful.

A few instances come to mind:

I wanted to share Jesus with a close friend where I worked, when we lived in St. Louis. I planned things I wanted to say to her, ways I wanted to show my faith to her, and more, but whenever I tried those methods, it felt fake and forced. Then I got cancer. After my surgery and recovery and I was back to work, one day my friend stopped me in the teacher’s lounge. She said, “I’ve been watching you go through this cancer and have seen you be peaceful and not afraid. I want to know how you did that.” There was no one else in the lounge (which was unusual) and I had a moment to tell her that it was my faith in Jesus that brought me through. She didn’t give her heart to Jesus right there in the teacher’s lounge, but not long after at a church she and her husband visited, they responded to God calling them to grace and new life. That wasn’t my plan, but it was better. It was God’s plan!

At another job, I was talking with a friend who was taking a world religions class. We had a really interesting discussion, again there happened to be no customers there at the moment or even other co-workers. She was sharing the beliefs she was coming to from learning in the class, and I shared with her what I believe about Jesus, about grace, forgiveness, a relationship with God and everything. It was so natural and afterward I was so excited!  I just got to tell the Good News at work and it was so natural, just a part of the conversation. That wasn’t my plan, but it was better.

Recently a friend and I were meeting up for a walk and visit one morning. We didn’t have a plan, were just winging it. After our walk, I found out she wanted to visit a part of town she hadn’t seen so we went there. Then we decided to walk along that street and see the shops. I saw a favorite shop of mine so I steered us around the corner and down a side street. The lady opening that shop happened to know my friend. They had worked together a while ago and hadn’t seen each other since. It was a happy reunion! They exchanged numbers and emails, which was especially nice since my friend was moving away soon.  As we left the shop my friend had tears in her eyes. She told me how she has never really had a faith or any religion, but that turn of events and “chance” meeting with her old friend made her think and believe there is a God. I told her I totally believed God arranged that for her to show her how much He loves her, and then was able to share a little more about my faith with her.

In each of these situations, my opportunities to share were not because I had orchestrated some wonderful plan, but because God had and allowed me to be a part of it. What a joy and how beautiful. How much more would He use us to share hope and life with people if we would just listen for His voice and follow those instincts He gives us, rather than holding rigidly to what we have in mind or what we think will be best.

He evidently is a God who won’t be pinned down by four easy steps to share the Gospel. He is so much more creative, inventive, and is the very Maker and Possessor of limitless potential and possibilities.  We don’t need Felix Felicis, but we do need to let go, be present, listen and wait, and watch God do something unexpected and wonderful.

We’ll find ourselves saying, “That wasn’t the plan,” but it will be better!

“People can make all kinds of plans, but only the Lord’s plan will happen.”  Proverbs 19:21 NCV

“Depend on the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3 NCV 

“Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.” Isaiah 30:21 NLT


*Book referenced is “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” by J.K.Rowling, 2006

Let go, my soul

I’ve been trusting in God since I was a little girl. I first heard Him and felt Him tug at my heart when I was very young. Back then, trust looked like listening to Bible stories, praying with my family, singing along in worship at church, listening and learning from my daddy’s sermons…childlike faith.  

As a teenager, I remember writing in my journal at night before bed, pouring out my heart to Jesus and reading my Bible to find guidance and encouragement.  Trust was me believing Jesus was my friend, my confidant, someone who would hold my heart through elation and heartbreak, crushes, questions, and insecurities.  I trusted in forgiveness when I did something stupid or messed up.

Through college and into adulthood, trust looked like seeking God with friends in Bible study and prayer, believing He had a plan for me, surrendering and saying “If you want me to be single all my life it’s okay,” then finding He had a special partner picked for me. 

John and I trusted God would help us know how to be parents.  Trust looked like depending on Him to provide even the most basic needs through lean times.  He once showed me I should trust Him as freely and without care as my little girls trusted us to take care of them.  

Sometimes trust in the young mom years looked like closing myself in the bathroom, near tears, telling God, “You said if we ask for wisdom you would give it. Well I need some right now!”  Trust was me believing God wouldn’t let me scar my children for life by mistakes I made.

At the sound of a cancer diagnosis, trust was something I was grasping for in desperation.  Do you believe I trust you, God, even though fear won’t seem to completely go away?  Does it mean my faith is lacking if I still feel anxious, if my heart trembles and hurts at the thought of not being here with my husband and girls anymore?  I can’t explain how, but God showed me clearly that He was just ahead on the path, around the bend, with hand reached back for me, making a way for me.  So I trusted Him.

There have been so many more faces of trust along the way, too many to recount here.

Trust. Critical foundation for any relationship. God has earned my trust and never broken it, though sometimes He has stretched my faith to the point I thought it would snap. When I’m fighting fear or the urge to try and orchestrate outcomes in my life or in the life of someone I love, I remember what He’s done in the past and consciously choose to trust Him.  Trust is a step out, a surrender of will and the demand to know. Trust is living in this day.

A recent favorite song says it this way, “Through it all, my eyes are on You. Throught it all, it is well. So, let go, my soul, and trust in Him. The wind and waves still know His name.” 1

In other words, God is the same as He was the last time He came through for me. His intentions and ability haven’t changed, His love as boundless as ever. He keeps His promises. He never leaves, though He will walk us through some pretty awful, dark places. 

So, let go, friend, of the need to know, of control, of wanting your way, of fears. Open hands and arms wide and feel freedom, like a bird taking flight into a steady supporting wind, floating and soaring.  You can trust God.

1 It Is Well by Kristene DiMarco, Bethel Music 

Unexpected gift

Standing holding hands on one side with a dear friend and on the other a new friend, I looked at the other women in the circle around the room. It was quiet. We were going to be led in prayer for God’s Holy Spirit to fill us anew, to relight dwindled fires in our hearts, to do whatever He sees fit to do. Our leader was walking quietly around the circle, sharing a few words, her voice low but strong. She paused in front of one woman and spoke encouragement to her, then stopped to pray with another woman who needed physical healing. I bowed my head, looking at the floor, thinking about all I had learned over the weekend.

On the first night, we heard stories of transformation, of lives that were changed dramatically by God’s love, changed so they could show Jesus to other people and live out their true purpose, changed to live in peace and grace.  I had struggled through the worship/singing time to focus on God because I’d been focusing so much during the day on my concern for my girls and their future with God.  

I’ve let go of that concern before (like every day) but that night it was as if I couldn’t do it. It was a heavy weight pulling down on my heart. I asked God why it was so hard this time and the answer was very clear: “You don’t trust me.” I felt terrible. God has done so much for me in the past, why don’t I trust Him more right now? I remembered a father in the Bible who brought his troubled son to Jesus for healing and when Jesus asked if he believed He could heal his son, the father replied, “I believe, but help my unbelief.” I prayed the same.

Saturday morning the lesson stung a little, too. As we sang songs, a friend walked over during the songs to hold tight to the young lady standing next to me who is facing some really hard times. I had been so caught up in myself I wasn’t thinking about other people hurting and needing encouragement. I asked God to forgive my selfish attitude. It’s not all about me, I remembered.

Sunday morning I was enjoying the songs and being with everyone, but still feeling a little distant from God, numb in a way. When the offer was given to come forward for several different prayers I walked to the front with others. I’m taking steps, God. I want You to help me be what You want me to be. I need You.

All these thoughts swirling in my head stopped when I felt a hand grip my shoulder and looked up to see the steady, unblinking gaze of the prayer leader. It’s important to note that I had just met her the day before, she didn’t know me. But, she was talking to me.  “You have a tender heart. You’ve been going through some things, feeling discouraged, sometimes like you even want to give up.” Whoa, I instantly realized it was not just this woman speaking, but God through her. “You may have even thought, ‘God, are you hearing me?’ And God wants you to know He sees you, He’s with you. Things are going to start turning around for you, things are changing.  You just worship and praise God with all your heart. Worship Him, trust Him. If you don’t see it right away don’t be discouraged, don’t look for it and ask ‘Where’s it at, God?’ just worship Him.” I was fighting tears but kept looking into her eyes that never looked away as she said, “I see freedom, as if things are falling away, off of you.” She took a step back, never breaking eye contact and gestured with her hand as if taking something down from my shoulder as she continued, “Some things aren’t turning out the way you thought they would, some things in your family need healing, relationships, some who you’re concerned over, comparing yourself to others, discouragement…it’s all falling away. You just worship and praise God.” 

As she walked away I bowed my head again, dissolved into quiet sobs. The strain, guilt, fear, pressure, and hurt was washing off of me, leaving me feeling so relieved and at peace. 

I felt such love and reassurance – God spoke to me. To ME. He KNEW I needed a sign of His presence with me, a tangible reminder that He’s trustworthy and always at work answering prayers, even those we can’t put into words.  And His message wasn’t a rebuke, it was an understanding and compassionate exhortation. Discouragement from ministry, concerns about the future, parenting, stressful work stuff, forgetting God’s acceptance of me and not having to earn His love…it had piled up and only God could move it for me, push it off of my heart, and help me up.

Since then, whenever fear tries to creep back in, I hear God’s voice saying all those lovely words again and I remember that moment. When I told my mom about it she said, “That’s your Ebenezer.”  In the Bible, after God had granted victory to his people, Samuel set up a stone and called it “Ebenezer: God has helped us,” so they wouldn’t forget. The words of an old hymn say, “Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I’ve come.”  I will never forget, God: You see me, You know me, You love me, and You have helped me.

I’m so glad I have problems

rocky pathThe path we walk when we follow Jesus has potholes. This isn’t a complaint, it’s just the truth. The path is not a wide, paved, beautifully landscaped street but more like a rocky, narrow, twisting, sometimes harrowing trail that is downright difficult to walk at times. It will push us to our limits and beyond, test our resolve, even bring us pain. There are times we might even question, “why did I agree to come this way?”

Jesus never said it would be a stroll in the park, but He did say not to lose heart when we we’re having trouble because He’s overcome the world. (John 16:33) Following someone who’s overcome the world – pretty good credentials, don’t you think?

I’ve lived long enough to be able to look back and see that the path we’ve covered so far has made my faith stronger, though sometimes it takes me a minute (or more) to remember that when I’m in the middle of tough terrain.

James said we should actually be glad in our troubles, because of what they do for us. “When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4 NLT)

It’s one thing to persevere through hard times, it’s another to actually be glad about them. If I say to someone, “I’m so glad I’m dealing with this difficult person and that they’re hurting me,” they’d probably look at me like I had two heads. But God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways. There’s no doubt about that. He doesn’t allow us to have difficulties just so He can show He’s bigger than we are, or just to have us grovel at His feet needing help. Each problem has a purpose: to make us more like Jesus and to witness to God’s goodness and glory.

Before a potter shapes clay or even puts it on the pottery wheel, he pounds it and throws it down numerous times on the table to work out any air bubbles that might be inside and would later be a problem. Before precious metals are formed into valuable objects of beauty, the refiner heats the silver or gold to melting (over 1800 degrees fahrenheit!) and then skims off the impurities as they rise to the surface.

In both cases, the creator is present and personally involved through the whole process.

Feeling like you’re taking a pounding? Or being melted down in a crucible, completely helpless? Sometimes our faith feels like a rubber band that is stretched so tightly it might break. The thought of trusting God one more day is exhausting, and then He asks us to trust another day after that.

Can we praise Him anyway? Can we trust Him? Can we remind ourselves of all He’s done for us in the past? Does knowing He promised He will bring good out of everything for those who love him help us surrender? Some days I enthusiastically answer “Yes!” Some days I have to confess to Jesus that I don’t have the strength on my own, I need Him to help me to believe. Praising Him raises our gaze to Him again and helps. It truly helps. We can have peace that steadies our weak legs and can make it through.

I tried to express this to a friend who was losing someone she loved. It felt almost insensitive to encourage someone to thank God in everything when their troubles are so personal, so deeply painful. How do you tell someone to be glad that they’re having to deal with that? The act of giving thanks in difficulty is part of the refining process. That decision alone can be excruciating.

All I know is that God proves Himself loving and good when we give in and praise Him even in that kind of loss. He shows understanding and compassion. He knows the deepest places of our hearts. It was too hard for my friend, but I still pray God will show her how much He loves her and that she can trust Him.

The end result of trusting God and even thanking Him through troubles is worth the pain. I don’t want to stay the same, do you? I don’t want to walk an easy path if it’s without Jesus. If problems help refine me, then I’m glad I have them. I will try to remember to thank God when they come. I want to grow and reach my goal: to be with God forever and ever, without blemish or fault, without any more struggle with this world or myself…free and home.

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. (I Peter 1:6-7 NLT)