Tag Archives: God

My one word

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Somewhere I read about how some choose or ask God to give them one word to focus on this year, a theme for their walk with Jesus in 2015. I hadn’t even asked God yet and He gave me my one word.

During the Christmas season last month a phrase from Scripture kept replaying in my heart and mind: “What is impossible for people is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27 NLT) Jesus said that to the disciples and I can imagine Gabriel might have said it to Mary when He brought her the staggering news that God’s Son would be born into the world through her small, human self.

Though doubt and discouragement have been nagging companions dragging their feet and distracting me, my one word causes me to let go of their hands and look ahead, to look up squinting in the bright light of God’s presence in front of me and all around me. There is more, and it’s good. There is hope and promise and it’s all God’s doing. It’s not up to me, thank goodness.

I am so limited, short-sighted, plagued by fickle yet powerful emotions that can change moment to moment and blind me. My one word is already becoming a beacon back to the path God has for me, an enthusiastic shout to look again at Him, a crucial reminder that it’s not about me and my limitations don’t dictate what God can or cannot do.

My one word is “possible.” I want to live by that word this year. I want to seek out the lessons I can learn, the greater faith God can help me grab hold of, the grander view of more of the eternal in this short life, the freedom from myself when I continually acknowledge Him as the One who CAN.

He once asked Abraham, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” Now He’s asking me.

No, Papa, I know nothing is impossible for You. Keep tight hold of my hand and keep my eyes open to all that is possible, with You.

The power of perspective

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The word perspective comes the Latin word “perspectus” meaning “clearly perceived.” It’s been defined as a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance; as the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see. [1]  

Perspective can mean looking more carefully or thoroughly at a person, structure, event, or situation (and more) – to step outside of our own subjective viewpoint and see something or someone more objectively.  Getting perspective in relationships is crucial, being willing to try and see from someone else’s viewpoint or “stand in their shoes” is key.  Sometimes all it takes to get out of a slump or rut is a change in perspective.

It’s a choice, this all-important perspective, to not just look but see, to allow more information and defining insight to shape our view.  If I take the time to gain perspective, I see that someone who hurt me is actually feeling very hurt and therefore lashing out.  That perspective helps me to stop feeling sorry for myself and have compassion, to show grace instead of hold a grudge.

Perspective can be a gift, given by someone who can share with me viewpoints I’ve never considered or some I’ve forgotten.  It helped me see a new friend in a new light, to realize how he might have extra need of friends, of belonging in a place where he is clearly the minority and is far from home.  He shared that most of us here have people or our own race to hang out with, have people who speak our native language to talk with, have the food we’re most accustomed to available to us, and forget that someone from another place may not have those things.  That can all be easily taken for granted.

Perspective helps us to see, if we allow God to show us, that our stunted, defective, incomplete view of who we are is not the whole story.  I believe God will give us, if we ask Him and open our hearts and eyes, bits of His perspective of our souls, our worth, our potential, our future.  We are so short-sighted and our view one-sided.  We need perspective.

God has been prodding me all week, reminding me of these things.  It is not about me. If it is I’m missing so much, like sitting inside on one side of a door that would let me out into wide, spacious, fresh air freedom and not taking the initiative to open that door.

He has to give it to me, and I dearly want it…precious perspective.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”  Dr. Wayne Dyer

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.  Colossians 3:1-2 The Message

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in his shoes.

[1] Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition
© William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins
Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012

Forever young

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Shady treeI’ve gotten in the habit of calling our dog “puppy.” It started, of course, when she was a chubby, furball of a puppy, and I just kept it up. It’s a term of endearment for our very fun, lively, playful dog. It seems to suit her, even though she’s now almost 1 1/2 years old.

I heard someone ask the question lately, “How old do you feel? In other words, if you didn’t know how old you were, how old would you say you are?” I said probably 35 or so. I still feel like I did back then, even though I’ve seen a number more birthdays than that! How would you answer that question? Continue reading →

My Dear?

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Recently I was browsing Bath & Body Works – I love that place – and a nice young girl came over. “Hi dear, is there anything I can help you find?” I was put off right away. Dear? It felt a little condescending. I feel the same way when someone younger than me calls me sweetie or honey. Just a pet peeve of mine. On especially fiesty days, I feel like saying, “Listen chica, I’m old enough to be your mom.”

Last night my daughter was listening to a worship song I hadn’t heard before. I walked from the kitchen where I was washing dishes out to where she was listening at the computer. “Did they say, ‘I love you, my Dear?'” “Yep,” she answered. I hadn’t thought of saying that to God before, possibly because of my association with that word and maybe because of my somewhat silly pet peeve. “Is it okay to say that to God?” I was thinking.

As I listened to the rest of the song, I understood. The writer was expressing passion, devotion and love to God, who loves us so fiercely and faithfully. I looked up the word “dear” in the dictionary and found that it can describe someone or something as beloved, cherished, precious, treasured. It’s an expression of fondness and affection.

I needed to think outside my “worship box.” That’s a good thing! There’s nothing in Scripture that indicates we shouldn’t think of God as dear. In fact, He describes Himself as the Bridegroom who died for and will come again for all of us, the Church, His Bride. There’s no greater love. He surely thinks of us as His beloved and we are most certainly treasured by Him. Why else would he number the very hairs on our heads, hem us in with His Spirit and presence before and behind, be with us all through the night as we sleep, waiting and ready to greet us as we wake? Why else would He step up to the horrible task of sacrificing Himself for the likes of us?

It is bewildering to me that He loves us so. It feels kind of strange to say to God, “I love you, my Dear” but as we sang “My Dear” in worship this morning, my heart was moved. I felt as if a window opened allowing me to tell Him what he means to me in a fresh, new way.

Those boxes in which we put God, our relationship with Him, our interactions with Him, and our understanding of Him, need to be opened and stretched, even taken apart. I’m so thankful for the way He did that for me today.

I love you, Papa, my Savior, my Healer, my Teacher, my Creator…

my Dear.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.  Song of Songs 6:3

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2

 

What did you do?!

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Raising a puppy is a lot like raising a baby – lots of fun, but lots of work.  You have to keep an eye on the doggy at every moment, especially while she’s learning that going potty is for outside only!

ImageWe received a puppy when our youngest daughter graduated from high school a few months ago.  It was a gift from one of her close friends.  Surprise!  She then had to leave for Alabama for a few months for a summer job, so John and I became the mostly happy, sometimes reluctant, often exasperated parents.

If you’ve potty trained a pet, you know that you’re supposed to watch them for any signs of impending…you know…and then whisk them outside cheerfully saying “outside! outside!”  Eventually they get the picture.  

Keeping a sense of humor is helpful, because otherwise you might lose your cool Continue reading →

Can a leopard change it’s spots?

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ImageWhen I was little, I used to think the hymn “Jesus Paid it All” talked about leopard’s changing their spots in one of it’s verses.  That verse actually says, 

Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.

Ohhhh, leper’s spots.  

That reminds me that as a child I also thought it was strange that we were “safe and secure from all alarms” (in the hymn Leaning on the Everlasting Arms).  Were they talking about fire alarms?  But I digress.

We sang “Jesus Paid It All” this past week in our worship time and that verse I mentioned really struck me anew.  While we were singing, God reminded me that He does the creating, changing, renewing, transforming in my heart and not me.  I waste energy and get discouraged trying to change myself, and inevitably facing disappointment when I mess up, when I should just be surrendering and trusting.

What a responsibility, to shape hearts and lives, to bring us into our destiny, designed before we were even born?  It’s a job God is more than happy to do but one we often try to take from Him.  He’s the potter, remember, and we’re the clay.  Just picture how funny it would look if a little lump of clay was trying to spin around on the potter’s wheel and shape itself.  Not possible.  If we don’t willingly be still in God’s presence and remain pliable, we may never become what He’s imagined us to be.  

Once again, I need to remember who I am in relation to who God is.  I need to remember my place.  I believe He has things for me to do, but being the one who transforms myself, or anyone else for that matter, isn’t one of them!  I’m glad!  What a relief.

You paid it all, Jesus, not me.  You are the Savior and Redeemer, the Healer and Restorer.  You have the power to change this leper’s (or leopard’s) spots and melt my heart of stone.  Thank you.

Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  Romans 12:2 NLT

O Lord, you are our Father.
    We are the clay, and you are the potter.
    We all are formed by your hand.  Isaiah 64:8 NLT

Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.  Zechariah 4:6 NIV

 

Now what?

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Those who know me were surprised I hadn’t cried all day, but I was just too happy to cry.  Months of planning, texting with my daughter, buying supplies on the Internet and at Hobby Lobby (I should have a frequent flyer discount by now), and coordinating had culminated in this beautiful, family and friend-filled day.  We were gathered because of love, surrounded by love, and full of love, nearly to burst.   I kept telling myself to slow down and be in each moment because it began to speed by, as special days seem to do.

ImageI had one moment where I got really close to crying: when her daddy began to walk her into the dimly-lit, lovely auditorium and down the aisle.  Instead of tears, however, as I saw them come in I caught my breath and just stared at my absolutely beautiful grown-up girl beaming, walking toward her husband-to-be.   As I sat and watched the ceremony unfold, I asked God to interpret the songs in my heart because I just couldn’t find the words or even thoughts to express my gratitude and joy.  Blessed with a capital B, that’s what we are.

I enjoyed so much the time spent with Kimmi in those months before, texting, talking on the phone, meeting at times to shop and plan, brainstorming.  Then, even more fun were the days right before when we drove through Starbucks, then to the church to actually put into motion all we had prepared, with lots of family there to pitch in and help.  What a fun weekend – and everyone was able to come!  I told you…Blessed.

John, Krissy and I drove into our driveway the Sunday after, a little bedraggled but glad to be home. We unloaded the car and brought all the leftover supplies (including many jars!) into the house.  Once inside, I began to feel sad and kind of lost.  I asked John, “What will I do now that I don’t have the wedding to think about, plan for and work on?”  He chuckled and said, “Sit down and relax!”

As I’ve pondered that question these last few weeks, I realize that I poured so much of my heart, mind, wallet, and energy into the wedding and now it is past.  A new chapter has begun for Kimmi and Nathanael and even for us.  We’re in-laws now.  We’re parents of a married daughter!  How’s that for life change?  We may even be on the brink of “grandparenthood” in the next few years to come.  Whoa.  Don’t want to get ahead of myself.

Just as I poured so much of myself into the wedding, I realize some of my sadness was thinking of how I poured so much of myself into being a mom for my girls for so long and that chapter is closing/changing, too.  Our youngest graduated high school and moved out this summer to work in Alabama as a nanny for my brother’s children.

All of the sudden the house is pretty empty and I find myself asking, “what will I do now, God?”  Certainly I should be useful for something!  I’m not accustomed to this.  I’m used to being a hands-on mom, driving girls somewhere, shopping, being needed in close proximity and in person for hugs and heart-to-heart conversations.  I even relished in the everyday talking about friends, school, boys, etc.  Now things are long distance (not too long thankfully) and over the phone or texting or facebook.  Now they are out making their way as young adults and I’m watching them go, proudly but feeling a little lost.

John and I have time to get reacquainted in a way and grow closer together.  I’m so glad I have him in my life.  For some reason he doesn’t feel as melancholy as I do.  Must be a mom thing.

I’m asking God to help me find my place now, to settle into whatever role he has for me.  I have no idea what that is.  He keeps reminding me that I don’t have to figure everything out or make the plan, I just need to trust Him.  He has poured Himself into my life as long as I can remember.

So, here’s to rolling with these changes and keeping my heart and eyes on Him and His Word.  I can almost hear him say, in response to my “now what?’ “Just sit down and relax.  I’ve got this.”

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”  Romans 8:15 MSG

Didn’t give it a thought

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The guilt nagged, but apparently not enough to make me actually do something about it. An older lady in our church, one I love and who has been a source of encouragement to me, fell and hurt herself a few months ago.

I kept meaning to send a card, call her, or stop by to see her but didn’t. I Iet the hectic pace of life get in the way of showing love. I prayed for her, but she didn’t know that. She was back at church on Sunday and I was thrilled to see her again, looking well and smiling as usual.

I hugged her tightly and said, “I need to ask your forgiveness.” She pulled back, “Whatever for?” “I have thought many times of calling you, sending you a card or coming to see you and didn’t make it happen. I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you!”

She chuckled, hugged me tightly, and said words that washed my guilt away, “Oh my goodness, it’s okay! I never gave it a thought!”

This morning, my devotional reading spoke of how God has forgiven us, has accepted us, yet we continue to nurture guilt or feel we have to do things for his approval. What a silly, sad state to be in, when, if we have accepted Jesus, we are heirs of an eternal treasure: the deep love and fellowship of God.

I can just hear Him say to me this morning, “All that guilt you keep inside about not being enough or doing enough is so unnecessary. I forgave you and since haven’t given it a thought!”

Thank you, Papa, for your undying, constant, persistent love and grace. Thank you for holding me and reassuring me that I’m your girl. Teach me to live in the freedom of truly knowing that.

and to know that I belong to him. I could not make myself acceptable to God by obeying the Law of Moses. God accepted me simply because of my faith in Christ. (Philippians 3:9 CEVUS06)

Fears vs. Dreams

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“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.” – Tom Bradley

Do you agree with that? Do you have a dream or several?

If we would sit down and intentionally search ourselves, I believe each of us will find, sometimes way down inside in a secret, guarded place, a dream.

The organization To Write Love on Her Arms, which exists to come alongside young people who are fighting depression, self-hate, addiction, and self-mutilation, posted a campaign asking people to post something they fear and something they dream about: Fears vs. Dreams. It’s interesting and inspiring to read as people open up and put their hearts out there honestly. Some that I read:

Fear: being surrounded by love and still feel alone Dream: be a part of something bigger than myself

Fear: to live without purpose Dream: to achieve the extraordinary

Fear: letting my family down Dream: be the best daddy ever

Fear: to be judged and not loved Dream: to share love with the world

Fear: losing my son Dream: Owning my own cafe

You can view more here on their web site. There were many I could relate to.

What would your fear vs. dreams sign say?

I have a very large, sometimes crushing fear of being a failure, of letting God down and not being all He created me to be. I have thought and thought about why that presses so hard against me and why it lingers, even though I know that I don’t have to earn God’s favor or love. Somehow my heart keeps yearning for His approval, for Him to be pleased with what I do, how I live my life. My perfectionist nature probably doesn’t help.

God has told me in my heart that I already have his approval because Jesus died for me, but if I’m honest, I still fear sometimes not pleasing Him.

My personal dream is to live a life that matters, to be a person who helps other people learn about Jesus and want to follow him. I don’t want to just go through the motions of every day.

My dream, as a pastor’s wife, is very similar. I dream that John and I will be the kind of leaders that help a church thrive and reach out to lost people. I definitely don’t want to just go through the motions or be in a church Jesus would call “lukewarm” or that had forgotten its first love.

Experiences in the past bruised those dreams and pushed them way back inside. Sometimes when we mess up or fall short, the enemy makes us embarrassed that we ever had that dream in the first place. I can hear him sneer, “That won’t ever happen. Give up.”

I have been almost afraid to talk with God, or other people, about them because deep in my heart I sometimes feel they won’t happen. It’s easier to not have a dream than to have one and not have it become reality, right? Or is it?

I believe the quote above is true. The only thing stopping me from realizing my dream is me. Instead of choosing fear, if I choose to trust God even when I don’t see how He could make it all happen, I can still dream my dream. If I choose to believe that He can do the impossible, with any person, in any circumstance, I know I will be amazed and joyfully surprised to see what happens. I actually want to be blown away. I know it will all be because of Him, but I want to be a part of it!

He bids us to come to Him with boldness and tell him our dream. He may help it become reality, or He may direct us to a different dream, one He has in mind for us that is often bigger and brighter than what we came up with.

My prayer lately is that God will remove those irritating walls I put up around my limited vision of Him. I pray He will knock down self-imposed limitations and negative things I tell myself. I pray He will replace it all with hope and true, undeniable, rock-solid faith in all He is and all He can do. I want Him to fill my ears and eyes and heart to bursting – so full of His awesome presence and purpose that there is no room for lies and doubt.

Papa, I have a dream…

Just a little freak out

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The wedding is less than four months away! It’s so exciting, but it’s less than four months away! Krissy just joined the soccer team and there are shoes, uniforms and various other soccer “stuff” she needs.  The van, good ol’ “Nugget”, is making a weird noise but it usually does so I’m ignoring that.  We’re paying off the much-needed tonsillectomy and the associated bills that go along with that.  I think I should go into anesthesiology, I’m in the wrong business.  (Thank you, Lord for health insurance, though)  The cats need to go to the vet…someday.  But really, they’re in excellent health right now and what do they have to complain about?  Woops, don’t forget the sports physical, orthotics, and a few other things that will need taking care of before long.  The girls will need more boxes of contact lenses soon, too.  While thinking (stressing) about all of these things, I became aware that Krissy will also need a car to carry out the summer job she’s hoping to have of being nanny for my brother’s kids in Alabama.  How are we going to get a car?  That’s only a few months away!

I had to go to the bedroom and shut the door.  On my knees, I cried for a while.  The awareness that our resources are falling waaaaay short of meeting obligations or needs gets to me.  I needed to vent some pent-up emotion anyway and it seemed a good moment for a freak out.  At least I was freaking out to God and not just by myself, rocking with my knees hugged to my chest in a corner somewhere.  Right?

It felt good to just let it out – all that pressure.  I know everyone faces situations like this.  Life tends to be that way: obligations, needed repairs, medical bills, special life events, and so forth seem to pile up in groups, multiply, and avalanche down on top of us – like the old adage “when it rains, it pours.”  I was feeling a little smushed under the pile up.

And really, we are so blessed, with so much to be thankful for.

God brought to my mind a conversation my sister and I had just earlier that day, before the “we need another car” moment.  We were talking about how God was in control, how He was good at details, how we could dream big and trust Him.  God also lovingly poked me in the ribs and reminded me of the scripture I had read just that morning from Mark 4, about the disciples’ freak out during a bad storm at sea.

Their boat was actually starting to sink from the rocking waves and sloshing water, but Jesus remained asleep at the back of the boat (which is impressive considering how bad the storm was).  They got to the tipping point, where they couldn’t take it any more, and shook him shouting “We’re gonna drown!  We’re gonna drown!  Do something, Jesus!  I can’t swim! Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!”  Okay, that’s a little paraphrase there, but I bet that’s how they felt!

Jesus woke, stood up, told the wind and waves to stop it and then asked the disciples, who stood there dripping and astonished, “Why were you afraid?  Why didn’t you have faith?”

That seems a little harsh to me.  I mean, their boat was beginning to sink and it seemed Jesus didn’t care or wasn’t aware.  That would most definitely be an “afraid” moment.  It seems the fact that He was there with them was supposed to be enough.

He did stop the storm, none of them drowned, and all was well.  He did care.

So, on my knees, crying and blowing my nose into multiple tissues, having a little freak out I prayed, “How are we going to do all of this, God?  And with what?!  I have run out of ideas.  We need your help!  Aaaaahhh!”  My little boat was filling up with water and it felt like God was sleeping at the back.

It helped to be honest with Him and then remember that if I don’t have what I need, God does.  He is with me and even if my boat DOES sink, He is with me.  He will take care of us.  He will make a way.  He has unlimited resources and can even tell the wind and waves and anxiety to stop it.

I felt peace the next morning while I read some more in Mark (ch. 6), when Jesus’ disciples once again were perplexed.  There was an enormous hungry crowd of thousands lingering after listening to Jesus teach all day. Jesus had just instructed the disciples to feed them.  “How will we do that?!” they asked, probably with deer-in-the-headlights expressions on their tired faces.  Jesus said, “Bring me what you have.”  They found a boy with a sack lunch and gave it to Jesus.  Jesus then did what He always does: provided, worked a miracle, proved able and faithful again.

God has been saying to me (and to John), “bring me what you have.”  I know He will do the rest.  He is already doing it.  Things get taken care of and resources arise that I had no way of orchestrating.  The best part is the peace that comes when I remember to trust Him, no matter what.  Not even a little freaking out.

That evening, Jesus said to his followers, “Let’s go across the lake.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him in the boat just as he was. There were also other boats with them. 37 A very strong wind came up on the lake. The waves came over the sides and into the boat so that it was already full of water. 38 Jesus was at the back of the boat, sleeping with his head on a cushion. His followers woke him and said, “Teacher, don’t you care that we are drowning!”

39 Jesus stood up and commanded the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind stopped, and it became completely calm.

40 Jesus said to his followers, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”  Mark 4:35-40 NCV

Late in the afternoon his disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. 36 Send the crowds away so they can go to the nearby farms and villages and buy something to eat.”

37 But Jesus said, “You feed them.”

“With what?” they asked. “We’d have to work for months to earn enough money[g] to buy food for all these people!”

38 “How much bread do you have?” he asked. “Go and find out.”

They came back and reported, “We have five loaves of bread and two fish.”

39 Then Jesus told the disciples to have the people sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in groups of fifty or a hundred.

41 Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share. 42 They all ate as much as they wanted, 43 and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftover bread and fish. 44 A total of 5,000 men and their families were fed from those loaves!  Mark 6:35-44 NLT