Tag Archives: grace

A new way to look at it

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I’m a firstborn, and therefore (like many of us firstborns) mostly compliant, a people pleaser, and a perfectionist. My personality likes rules because they provide structure. Structure makes me feel secure and comfortable.  I was raised in a church-going, Bible-believing family and it was all black and white to me. This is right, that’s wrong. Do what’s right, not what’s wrong. Being a Christian, as I came to understand it, was mostly about this. I wanted to do a really great job of following the rules and living the right way so God (and my parents) would be happy with me. I think I gravitated toward and settled into this mindset in part because of my nature of people pleasing and perfectionism.

I didn’t realize until adulthood, and more and more these last 10 years or so, how my view of a life of faith was incomplete and restrictive, Continue reading →

To be with Papa

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What’s it like when you spend time with your heavenly Father?

Amy Groeschel posed this question in her devotional reading plan titled “Listening to God” on the Bible app.

Her question made me uncomfortable and I didn’t like that. I’ve been a Jesus follower, a child of God since I was very young. I’m embarrassed to say that I still struggle in approaching God and it sometimes even causes me to stay busy with other things avoiding going to Him in prayer.

I’m ashamed of that, but there is a big part of the problem: shame. In her devotional, Amy said that we might over-spiritualize our prayer time, feel we must impress God or pray the right way. I have felt that way, that if I get distracted, let my mind wander, or even get drowsy and doze off, I’ve failed in that quiet time, will try to do better tomorrow.

What if I just come to God? Plain and simple. Continue reading →

Even when…

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I was reading a blog I receive through email this morning.  It’s all about worship stuff: song arrangements, opinions/thoughts on leading worship, resources, etc. This morning I saw an article about a new song by Hillsong United called Even When It Hurts. The writer said, “Would you sing this song by Hillsong writer (and Justin Bieber clubbing buddy) Joel Houston in church since it has the lyrics, ahem: ‘even when it hurts like hell…’?”

I was turned off by the tone of what he said and a few thoughts came to mind:

So what if Joel Houston is buddies with Justin Bieber? Isn’t that a good thing since Justin needs good friends who know Jesus? 

I know many wouldn’t feel comfortable singing those lyrics in a worship service, but maybe not every song on their album was intended for congregational worship. To me that song is a very personal one. If you listen to the rest of the song, it speaks of praising God in every season of our lives, in the good times, in the hard times, in the times when it hurts like hell.  Sometimes it does!  I think Job, David and lots of other Bible folks would agree.

The church culture I grew up in was one framed more by legalism than grace and as I am learning more about living in God’s grace I find myself balking at statements that feel judgmental and pious. The writer appears to be questioning whether the members of the Hillsong band have a genuine relationship with Jesus. He doesn’t know them or the stories that song was birthed from.

It’s difficult enough in this world to forge ahead with Jesus amidst criticism and ridicule from those who don’t profess to follow Jesus, do we need to be knocking each other? Our brothers and sisters?

I do believe we can go too far in relating to the culture if we use all the same language as the world or water down the Gospel, but we can also shut the world out completely if we refuse to at least admit that sometimes life hurts. The world won’t be drawn to Jesus much if His people won’t openly acknowledge we deal with pain, we struggle, we are broken and in need of help just like everyone.

I would encourage worship leaders to continue to seek God’s guidance and discernment in the songs they choose for worship, being sensitive to the group of people that will be singing those songs. We probably won’t sing it in our worship services at my church, but it speaks to me personally when I listen. If that song reaches a certain group and helps them relate and consider reaching out to Jesus, sing it!  You can read Hillsong’s explanation of the song at this blog.

Even When It Hurts – Joel Houston

Take this fainted heart

Take these tainted hands

Wash me in Your love

Come like grace again


Even when my strength is lost

I’ll praise You

Even when I have no song

I’ll praise You

Even when it’s hard to find the words

louder then I’ll sing Your praise


I will only sing Your praise


Take this mountain weight

Take these ocean tears

Hold me through the trial

Come like hope again


Even when the fight seems lost

I’ll praise You

Even when it hurts like hell

I’ll praise You

Even when it makes no sense to sing

louder then I’ll sing Your praise


I will only sing Your praise


And my heart burns only for You

You are all, You are all I want

And my soul waits only for You

And I will sing till the miracle comes


Even when the morning comes

I’ll praise You

Even when the fight is won

I’ll praise You

Even when my time on earth is done

louder then I’ll sing Your praise


I will only sing Your praise

Perfect but still in process

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I read a verse the other day that I’ve read many times before.  The end of it stuck out to me like it hadn’t before.  Here it is:

For by that one offering [Jesus’ death on the cross] he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. – Hebrews 10:14

Did you catch that?  He has made us perfect and yet we are being made holy, still in process.  How does that work? Continue reading →

Got Grace?

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I made a big mistake at work today.  It hasn’t happened for a while but it was bound to.  I get lots of projects going and something will fall through the cracks of my brain.  There are some pretty wide cracks and gaping holes in there, my brain that is.

To make matters worse, my error affects a friend of mine and he isn’t too keen on the situation.  I don’t blame him.  As I realized what happened I got that awful stomach-twisting, hard to describe nervous feeling go up the back of my back and neck and my heart started pounding a little faster.  Continue reading →

I love you

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A husband and wife sat together at the kitchen table in awkward silence.  They had decided, having trouble getting along lately, that perhaps they should share with one another the frustrations they had with each other by each making a list.  After some quiet thought and pencil scratching it was time to share their complaints.  The husband read his wife’s first. A long list of his faults filled the page, and then another page. Continue reading →

A little more about Kelly

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Since I posted about Kelly Clark, US Olympic Snowboarder, the other day I’ve heard more of her story and have to pass it on.

I was encouraging a friend who emailed me this morning, a friend who tends to be hard on herself if she messes up or falls short on a goal.  As I typed a reply to her God really spoke to my heart, too.  I think everyone falls into the trap of equating personal worth with accomplishments or the things we are doing, so that if we fail to do something or mess up we feel less worthwhile, even downright worthless.

Like I posted before, Kelly Clark was doing the same thing and it wasn’t working.   After a competitor fell during a match, she overheard one of the other competitors tell her, “It’s okay, God still loves you.”  That stirred a hunger in Kelly to find out more.  Read this great article to find out the details of how God drew her to Him and filled her heart with His freeing love.

Our worth comes from the fact that God loves us and adopted us.  He wants you.  He gave everything anyone could give so that you could be His and be close to Him.  When you accept that gift of forgiveness and are willing to be adopted by Him, that alone gives you endless worth in His eyes.  “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done…”  Ephesians 2:8-9

Failing to do something you think you should, not doing something well, or messing up can never make God love you any less.   Performing 150%, working your tail off, and striving every day for excellence (while those can be good things) will never make God love you any more.  He LOVES you.  He loves.  He loves.  Just because of who You are in Him.

If the enemy is trying to pull a fast one on you by making you feel a failure, that you’re a disappointment, that you’re not good enough, or any other lies like that, be like Kelly and put your spiritual iPod on your heart to drown him out.  Listen only to Jesus’ loving voice and live in freedom today!  You can enjoy the moment you’re in right now knowing no matter what you do or don’t do, you are worth more than you know to God.

In passing

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I’ve not had time to really sit down and think about writing lately.  I wish I did – I love to do it and it helps me process what’s going on inside.  It might help if I jot down a few things going through my pea brain the last few days.

  • My grandmother is in the skilled unit of her assisted living facility now.  She had pneumonia and spent a few days in the hospital and it took a toll on her.  Her 95 1/2 year old body seems tinier to me now, her voice softer, her eyes much heavier and sleepier.  I feel the need to go see her often and get in as many kisses on that soft cheek of hers that I can.  I wish we could just talk and visit but she is so weak and drowsy.
  • I’ve never had to live day by day in all aspects of my life as much as I am now:  spiritually, emotionally, financially.  I take comfort in the fact that God has never let me down and each day I have what I need and more.  I don’t know for sure what’s up tomorrow but I find as I take each step, send up each prayer, carry out what I know to do to take care of my family and try to stay close to God that I’m making it!  Yes it’s hard, but God is faithful.  I have my down days but mostly peaceful ones – especially when I honestly cry out to Him (pretty much every morning on the way to work) and share the heavies weighing on my heart.  He welcomes me in love and helps me shoulder the heavies.   Why does He care?  Why does He love?  This leads me to the next thought that’s been churning around in my head: Continue reading →

Get busy and wait

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I’m becoming a waiting pro.  I’ve had much experience, especially in the last 3 years of my life: waiting on answers to prayers, waiting on direction, waiting to become more like Jesus (I’m pretty sure that’s gonna last my whole life), waiting to see the plans God has for my daughters.  Waiting is a big part of everyday life anyway:  waiting at the doctor’s office, standing in line at the grocery, in traffic, on friends who are meeting us for lunch or coffee, for fun holiday family get-togethers, for vacations, on test results, for news from a job interview, for a newborn baby to arrive…it goes on and on.

Since it is such a part of life why do I become irritated when I have to wait?  I think partly because it is a time when I have no control over the situation or the outcome.  I feel I should be doing something to help the process along, whatever that may be.  There are many things I can’t make happen any quicker than they are already happening.  It is out of my hands.

I got to see first-hand the beginnings of a house being built on Extreme Makeover Home Edition this week.  Continue reading →