Tag Archives: hope

Got hope?

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I don’t think anyone would argue with me when I say the inhabitants of this world are weary and in need of hope. All throughout the history of mankind it has been that way since the very beginning when people decided to pick their way over God’s way and God let them.

I believe there is still hope to be had. And that’s not just me being optimistic. (although I am pretty optimistic and can be annoyingly so)

Psalms 130: 6 says, “I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.” I have long thought that verse meant that the watchmen were tired and eager for their shift to end, so they were watching for the sun to finally peek it’s welcome glowing face over the horizon so they could clock out and go home. Recently I heard another perspective: they watch for the sun to rise because every day the sun rises. They are watching and waiting for it to happen because they know it’s going to happen. They can count on it.

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Dusting off my happiness

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Looking through old posts on this blog, which was started quite a long time ago, is like looking through my parents’ old photo albums when I visit their house. I read stories I wrote about our parenting adventure that I had forgotten, lessons I’ve learned in life and keep relearning. I find memories, some that make me laugh, some that give me a lump in my throat, that have gotten covered up by others falling on top of them in my mind like stacks of papers getting dusty from no one shuffling through them for a while. Sometimes I read what I wrote and think, “Wow, was that me writing that?” I haven’t written for a long time and miss it. It helps me process what I’m feeling, thinking and learning, even though apparently I forget those things before too long.

For reasons I won’t go into detail explaining, the past 9-10 years were peppered with chronic stress and anxiety, which caused some depression, and often numbness. Continue reading →

Fighting words

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There’s a time for everything: a time to win, a time to lose, a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to run, and a time to fight. That could mean fighting off a bully, fighting for something you believe in, or even fighting your own self and the things you tell yourself about yourself.

In the movie Back to the Future II, the hero Marty McFly does his best to do right and avoid fighting his enemy, the trouble-maker Biff. He has his limits, though, and when Biff hollers at him while he’s walking away from a confrontation, “What are you…chicken?” Marty stops dead in his tracks, steely determination in his eyes. He says quietly, “Nobody calls me ‘chicken‘” and turns to teach Biff a lesson.

What triggers you to that tipping point, to when you’re ready to fight? Most of the time I believe in solving things as peacefully as possible, but when it comes to the enemy of my soul, there’s going to be a battle. And, when it comes to the enemy picking on the ones I love, get ready to rumble!

I recently discovered an album by artist Ellie Holcomb called Red Sea Road. (so many great songs, love the lyrics) In her song “Fighting Words” she shares openly about the negative self-talk that happens inside, even self-hate, the lies the enemy spews and how she fights back:

I will fight the lies with the truth
Keep my eyes fixed on You
I will sing the truth into the dark
I will use my fighting words¹

As I listened, I found myself wishing she revealed specifically what her fighting words are. You know so I could use them, too! I realized I need to figure out my own fighting words to counter when the devil tries to pull me down.  Where would I find them? Continue reading →

2017

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The door swung open and we stepped across the threshold of another new year.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing at the doorway to 2017. Were you someone eager and hopeful, tiptoed or even crouching, ready to skip or leap with a grin into the open space like a little child ready to get outside and make footprints in fresh, undisturbed snow?  Maybe you were reluctant and even afraid to step out, like someone standing under a ledge watching a downpour, not wanting to get drenched in the run to your parked car on the far side of the big parking lot.  Some of you might have stared vacantly at the open space ahead, taking great effort to just take one step. Maybe your heart is numb, worn out or depleted from challenges, disappointments, even grief you walked through in 2016.  You might have marched through, slamming the door behind you, so ready to get last year behind you, wanting to forget it altogether.

Even though we can’t see all that this year will hold, are there life events you’re looking forward to or dreading, or are you not sure what to think?

Lots of people tweeted or “Instagrammed” about the past year, whether or not they met goals, what they’re glad to walk away from, what was good or positive, which things went the way they hoped, which things didn’t. Many blamed 2016 for the tragedies we witnessed, the many well-known, well-loved celebrities that died, a wacky election, and more.  Goals and/or resolutions for the next 365 days (actually 355 as of today) were abundant across all of social media.

I used to blog regularly and it was extremely helpful to me when looking back through posts, like leafing through a diary. Lessons learned, emotions that ran amuck or got stuffed, happy times, frustrations, let downs, and the like filled the “pages.” Writing is a way of processing. It helps me figure out and sort through things. 

I haven’t blogged regularly for a few years now. Part of the reason being I was asking myself, “Who really needs to know what you’re thinking or feeling?” “There are so many opinions, editorials, reflections, and such on the Internet. Why do people need to read yours?” So many words out there, so much noise. Do we really need more?

I like to blog because I like to encourage people, which is a big part of my God-given purpose. I like a sense of community, in which you relate to other people traveling through life, sharing hardships and victories, laughing, telling stories, loving. I love the idea of helping someone else feel less alone in this life. If something I’ve been learning or struggling through or actually conquering would accomplish that, then I want to keep blogging.

So far in 2017, I’ve been reminded that words matter and our thoughts shape the path we take, so I need to keep positive, life-giving words in front of me to help keep my thoughts on the right path. God has been showing me, much to my delight (not really) how much of my life, my choices, my attitudes, and such are driven by pride. I want Him to change that in me, but I also cringe in the asking because I know it will be tough and most likely painful.

What are you learning so far? Can we try to let go of the past and look for the good in this year? Can we trust God and not let fear hinder us like heavy weights around our ankles? There will be “bad” stuff and hard stuff in 2017, there always is. BUT, there will be a lot of good: a lot of possibility, a lot of opportunity, a lot of people to love, a lot to learn, a lot of time to grow and become, a lot of chances to do better, a lot of hope. For those of us who follow Jesus, we can be cheered by the truth that He is timeless and so has already been in the year to come and promises to be with us.

I’d be honored to walk with you. Ready? Here we go.

“Lead on, O King eternal,

We follow, not with fears,

For gladness breaks like morning

Where’re thy face appears” – Ernest W. Shurtleff

Joy Unspeakable

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I think when most people hear the word “joy” they think of those moments when we are, as Elizabeth Bennet so beautifully puts it in the movie “Pride and Prejudice”, incandescently happy. Joy is happiness that wells up and spills over. Those celebration moments that we’ll remember forever, the mountaintop experiences that make us pause to soak in, gasp in wonder, or give a deep sigh of contentment…those are moments of joy.

The standout moments in life that covered me in the heart-bursting, gold-sparkling, warm, fuzzy, happiness type of joy are when I walked the aisle with my dad toward my love and when each of our babies was born and we heard “it’s a girl!” for each one.

I had an experience of overwhelming peace and love one summer in the San Bernandino mountains, alone with God by a creek, laying on a rock in the sun. I can’t describe how close I felt to God that day, like I was laying right in the palm of His hand.

I couldn’t even cry the day our oldest daughter got married because I was so full of happiness and love I thought my heart would burst. And if you know me, that’s saying something. It doesn’t take much to make me cry.

Those were definitely joy unspeakable moments.

As I’ve walked this path called life, particularly the path beside and behind Jesus, I’ve learned there is another side of joy. I would not have guessed when I was young that joy would often be accompanied by, or preceded by, sorrow and pain.

Sitting in a waiting room after getting a cancer diagnosis, heart beating hard, mind racing, God gave me a vision of Him standing on a path lined with grass that curved off into the distance. He stood turning to look back with a hand reaching out to me as if to say, “Come on. I’m going with you.” A golden sun shone so brightly behind Him all I could see was His silhouette. Peace washed over me and I remembered I belong to Him. He sees me, He cares. I’m not alone. Joy.  (Even now as I remember and picture it I’m comforted)

I’ve heard stories of a family gathered in a hospital room praying together, holding one another, singing hymns while they surround one they love who is peacefully, sometimes even eagerly, reaching for Jesus and going to heaven. In the deep shadow of hurt and loss, a faint light grows when they think of their loved one finally home where they belong, completely whole and with God. They are thankful this person lived, thankful for all the memories, so thankful the one they loved knew the Savior and they will be reunited with them one day. Even amidst sobs they thank God and have joy.

Joy is born in thankfulness. It is knowing you belong to God, the affirmation that because You are His He loves you, will never forget you or leave you, and is right with you ALL the time, no matter what. Belonging. Love. Hope. Joy.

Joy gradually emerges in surrender and sacrifice when things turn out differently than you hoped or dreamed, but instead of falling into bitterness you turn to Jesus. You are willing to give in and remind yourself you’re not in control, you’re not God, but You know Him and He IS in control…and He is good. You yield, you surrender to God’s ways, you trust and thank Him anyway. Joy.

Remember Stephen, the martyr? He practically exploded with truth when he testified to the Jewish leaders who rejected Jesus. They tried to silence Him by killing his body. But as Stephen’s heart stretched to bursting with love and worship, he seemed to ignore the rocks bruising and cutting him as he looked up toward the sky and exclaimed, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man seated at the right hand of God!” He was captivated by the truth and by His Savior. Even in his painful death, He had joy.

I’m still learning about joy: genuine, rich, enduring, deep-from-the-gut-and-soul joy that comes from choosing to walk with God in gratitude whatever the circumstance.

There have been hard, sad times in the past, are some now, and will be some to come. In those times we can’t rely on our emotions, but on what we know. My husband and I can agree that we know God loves us, He cares, He has always been faithful to us, He will make a way and He has given us so much to be thankful for.

We may not always feel like dancing or shouting or even smiling, but we thank God and trust Him…

and so we have joy.

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:4,6-7 NLT

 

To encourage you

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As a long-time lover of words, I was glad to get fresh revelation today regarding a favorite word: encourage.  There are other words more fun to actually say, like “bombastic” and “persnickety,” but I love what “encourage” means.

This word pondering came about because I am thinking about several friends who are facing hurt – some with weary hearts, some with bewilderment, some with anger, some with all of those.  My heart’s first impulse is a desire to encourage them.

encourage one anotherSince I was thinking of blogging about it, as it turns out I am doing right now, I looked the word up on dictionary.com and thesaurus.com.  The prefix of the word, the “en” part, causes the rest of the word to mean “to cause to be in a place, position, or state.”  Like the word “enthrone” means to put someone/something on a throne, etc. When we encourage someone we are urging them, hopefully causing them to stand in a place of courage.  The definition of “encourage” is to inspire with courage, spirit or confidence.

When we’re facing uncertainty, hurt, unwelcome change, or even a dream that has crashed to the floor and shattered, we have an opportunity to learn and grow.  However, that is not usually the first thing that comes to mind in difficulty, to say the least.  Sometimes we won’t move from where we stand or see something good God has for us unless what we are clenching in our little hands is taken away or falls apart.

In those times, we need courage to keep looking ahead, confidence to keep trusting God.  Our faint spirits need refreshing, heavy hearts need lifting.

You and I have the ability to help one another into a place of courage!

So, to my friends who are weighed down today, hurting or feeling low:

I want to remind you God sees you and your circumstance. He loves you and is near, whether you feel him there right now or not.

I want you to know you are not alone.  You matter, your feelings matter, and I’m here to listen if you need me to.

I want you to remember that God is working things out for good.  He’s ahead of you making the way for you.  He’s got plans and big dreams for you and they’re good.

If you don’t feel cheerful that’s okay, I can be quiet with you.  If you don’t feel like singing it’s alright, your song will come back or God will give you a new one.

I want you to keep in mind that although we get injured in this battle of life, the final outcome is already secured for us.  God wins.  So you win.

I want you to know, deep in your heart of hearts, that you are loved.

I pray God washes over you with his peace and light so that your eyes shine brightly again, heart full of hope.

I say and hope and pray all of this to encourage you.

Encourage each other and give each other strength…  I Thessalonians 5:11

When you go through deep waters,
    I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.  Isaiah 43:2

I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us, nothing below us, nor anything else in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

My hope is in God

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It’s dark and blustery outside.  I think a storm is blowing in, and I love to be inside, cozy and dry, and hear it raining and gusting outside.  The room is dimly lit by the computer screen and warm glow of the desk lamp.  There’s no sound except the very quiet humming of my Mac, and an occasional clunk or clank or the jeans in the dryer downstairs.  My head is pounding, partly from tiredness, partly from the way I have to tilt my head a little these days when looking at the computer screen (blast these older eyes).

God spoke to me tonight.  He broke through the cacophony in my brain, the pressing to-do list that always seems to be scrolling through my mind like the moving lights of a marquee.  While reading some wise words from a friend’s blog, realization struck and pent-up tears spilled out.  Quick aside: my nature always wants to know what’s going to happen, always strives for harmony and good endings, and always wants to be a part of that happening.  In other words, I have control issues.

Okay, back to God speaking to me.  I say all the time to those around me how I try to replace fear with faith, how I trust God to care for my loved ones (more specifically, my daughters).  I have been trying to let go, but realize my subconscious keeps going back to trying to control the decisions and actions of someone I love (which is silly, of course, because the only one I can control is myself and even then I don’t bat 1000).

My friend shared, in the blog post I read, that instead of obsessing or focusing on my hope for my daughter to make choices I think are good, or to grow closer to Jesus, I need to just let go.  Being so concerned about it, letting my thoughts of her and even prayers for her occupy so much of my energy can be a problem.  It can become an idol, distracting me and keeping me from hoping in GOD, from my personal closeness to Him.

My job is at this point is to just love her unconditionally.  When I shared this with John, he said, “That’s what God does with us.”  He doesn’t force us to choose one way or another, He just keeps loving us.  I know He hopes we will choose wisely and choose His way, but He lets us choose and just loves.

Like my sister has said to me often, I can’t live my daughter’s life.  She is living it.  But I need to live my life!  I need to keep my hope in Jesus, to keep seeking after Him with all my heart, to get as close to Him as I possibly can and stay there.

I will still pray for my girls, of course!  I can still hope my daughters will choose love, will choose God’s way, will make healthy choices, but I have to let go and let them choose.  God will help and guide them, as they let Him.  My hope is really in Him.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him. – Psalm 62:5

The blog I referenced is “Hope for Hurting Parents” by Dena Yohe

I can’t fix it…and that is precisely the point

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My heart and mind have been ruminating all day about hope, faith, doubt, Jesus, God, despair, pain, disappointments, trust, and truth.  I’m a little weary inside tonight.

Already having a mini faith crisis of sorts lately, pondering truth and what I really, truly believe about God, Jesus, eternity and life and…when I try to solve these issues on my own I just find myself walking in circles, getting nowhere and feeling restless.

With all this filling my heart already, today I reached a tipping point.  A dear friend who has so much pressure in her life already shared some details with me of the latest tough news and troubling lack of answers and hopeful outcomes.  As I listened I felt so inept, incapable of helping her.  I was thinking I should say something about Jesus but we were at work at the front desk and it wasn’t the right time.  And for some reason I felt it would come across as ineffective or cliché, like offering to put a little Band-aid on a gaping wound, or bailing out a sinking boat with a teaspoon.

Then I felt guilty for feeling that way.  Maybe I hesitated, too, because I wasn’t confident at the moment of that hope myself.  Why was my heart hesitating? Continue reading →

Thankfulness = Trust?

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What has the power to turn a heart’s gaze to hope, peel away a complaining attitude, and open the door for peace?

Thankfulness.

Being thankful shows self-pity the door and gives contentment the best seat in the house.

Even in the most meager, terrible, or desperate circumstances we can choose to be thankful for something…even everything.

When I read the book “The Hiding Place” about Betsy and Corrie Ten Boom’s experience in a Nazi concentration camp during the holocaust, I was moved and humbled by Betsy’s constant thankfulness.  In the face of cruelty and horrendous day-to-day living conditions, she kept her face turned toward Jesus in hope.  She didn’t complain but instead kept thanking God for everything, much to the amazement of her sister Corrie, who admitted sometimes she wondered if her sister was from another planet.

One particular situation stands out in my memory:   Continue reading →

Halt. Refocus.

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God our Father loves us. He is kind and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope.  II Thessalonians 2:16  CE

I didn’t even know she was ill.  I wasn’t close friends with the family but I know them and was so shocked and sad to hear that she succumbed to a long battle with cancer and has now gone to be with Jesus.  I’m not sad she went to be with Jesus but sad that her husband, not much older than John and I is now without his partner, and that her two kids, the age of my college girls, are now without their mom when there are still life milestones to cross like marriage and grandbabies and a host of other special events.

It causes my heart to halt and forces me to remember … Continue reading →