Tag Archives: humility

Hi. My name is Mimi and I’m a control freak.

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Secrets keep you “sick.” It’s truth.

If you want to beat a compulsion or addiction the first step is to admit there’s a problem. You have to admit it to yourself and then to other people. The Bible even recommends it: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Hello. My name is Mimi. I’m a control freak.

Over the years I have caused myself so much anxiety and unnecessary stress because my little perfectionistic, likes to have a plan, very busy self feels like I know how things should be. My tendency is to, often subconsciously, try to manipulate and control people or situations to get the outcome I think is best. Just being real, peeps. Anyone feeling me out there?

I’m blessed to have some people in my life, who, along the way have helped me (and still help me) to see this problem and gently bring me to those so important places of realization which leads to being humbled which leads to saying I’m sorry which should lead to me doing less of the aforementioned attempted controlling. That is the ideal anyway!

I can remember a Sunday years ago when my husband (the pastor) woke up sick and our associate pastor was home with a broken foot. I got to church and started trying to figure out what to do for the service. Continue reading →

Front and Center

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My cat Rocky laying right in front of the computer monitor, my youngest doing hand stands during commercials when we watch TV, the high school crossing guard waving his flourescent orange wands at me to stop, the ding of my phone notifying me I have a text message, my boss as he gives me a task at work – all want my attention.  For the moment, it’s as if each of them is saying “Hey!  Look at me, front and center here.”  We all need attention, some more than others.

God revealed to me (and it’s not the first time) ever so lovingly but firmly that I tend to seek too much attention for myself or be concerned that other people think well of me.  Facebook is one thing that makes this difficult.  It’s a treasure trove of attention:  people responding to things I say, to pictures I post, to jokes and videos I share.  People commenting about me or my life, interacting with me, giving me virtual pats on the back.  Even my blog brings me attention in a round about way.

When God showed me an ugly, childish attitude that was bubbling up this morning I was embarrassed and frustrated and it comes from being too preoccupied with myself.  Continue reading →

As Iron Sharpens Iron

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Today God answered a prayer I prayed recently. I prayed he would keep me humble. I don’t know why I keep praying that prayer. He always answers and it is always painful – sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. This time it involved something I have done for a while and did recently that hurt a dear friend of mine. I don’t like admitting it or facing the parts of myself that have yet to be pruned away completely. At the same time, I realize that although God wants us to “forget” ourselves so that He can shine through us, he doesn’t want us to go so low as to feel sorry for ourselves or dwell on the awfulness of a flaw or mistake.

knifesharpMy friend graciously forgave me as we talked this afternoon. I’ve been thinking about it since and remembered that verse in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” As we walk our path alongside our friends we sometimes clash, sometimes accidentally bang into one another, sometimes get scraped. If we’re following Jesus, He can use these “incidents” to sharpen each of us, to mold us, to perfect us. This type of shaping is bound to hurt – sometimes a little, sometimes a lot – but the end result can be good.

God’s been speaking to me a lot lately about forgetting myself, about letting Him always be in the lead and in control, about trusting him and others around me. It’s not about me (where have I heard that before?). Today I was reminded that things don’t have to be perfect or just so to glorify God. Don’t I think that God can work in and through all that we do, perfectly done or not? Who’s to say my way is the perfect right way anyway? That alone speaks of a pride issue in my heart – or that I think pretty highly of my opinion.

This past week in church we heard a message about the poor in spirit inheriting all that God has to offer, now and forever. Poor in spirit – realizing I have nothing without God, that without God and his mercy I would be utterly lost and completely without hope. It was evidently time for a reminder for me! I’m thankful for a gracious friend who doesn’t begrudge me the scrapes I unintentionally gave her this week.

Maybe God will even use our rough patch of path to hone her as well, making her even more beautiful and effective for His use. I sure hope He does that in me.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Prov. 27:17 NLT