Tag Archives: identity

You are more

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define (verb) – 1. to state precisely the meaning of   2. to describe the nature, properties, or essential qualities of   3. to determine the boundary of extent of

Now that it’s been over seven years since I was declared cancer-free, not as many of my current friends know I’m a breast cancer survivor.  It was a big, glaring part of my life in 2003 when I was diagnosed and for several years afterward but then began to fade from the forefront of my thoughts.

I received lots of thoughtful and encouraging notes and cards from friends during my recovery from surgery but one that still stands out in my mind was from a friend I hadn’t heard from in years.  This friend had also battled cancer so her words carried extra weight.  The phrase she wrote that stood out like neon lights was Continue reading →

Who I Am is Enough

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I listened to her say with some frustration and maybe a tinge of guilt how her quiet nature lessened her impact on a friend of hers.  She wants to share hope with this friend, share her faith but this friend is rather outspoken and a little intimidating.  I tried to encourage her – the way she is is enough and God uses her, quietness and all.  Her friend has seen her interact with others, have a great relationship with her husband and kids, and more.  She’s seen my friend show integrity, gentleness, faith, kindness, and more.   There are many ways to share Jesus besides talking.  Like St. Francis of Assisi once said, we should preach the Gospel and if necessary use words.

I can relate to that self-doubt or frustration and I’m sure you can, too.  From the time we’re old enough to think we hear and sometimes believe lies about how we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not outgoing enough, not funny enough – the list goes on and on and on…

Someone in my extended family has been dealing with some labels and judgmental attitudes from some other people in his life and as I heard about it, I got angry.  No person, no matter how “good” or “experienced” or “wise” has the right to judge another person.  How does that help anyway?  Continue reading →

Who I’m Not

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I have the joy of hanging out with the senior high kids on Wednesday nights at church.  I don’t have much responsibility except once a month or so handing out snacks, which is fun because teenagers love to eat.   A bonus is getting to witness God at work in young hearts.  Another bonus is having him work in my heart at the same time.  You know adults have a lot of the same insecurities that teenagers do and need a lot of the same lessons and reminders.  Even though there’s an age difference we’re all walking the path together.

Tonight we were taught that in order to know who we really are, we have to realize, admit and decide who we are NOT.  What a great truth and how we all need to know it.  [Important side note: During worship the youth band led the song “How He Loves” and as we sang the words about how much God loves us, my throat tightened and my eyes stung a little.  In my heart I told God that I don’t really feel that right now but I was singing it trying to believe it.  You know, prolonged waiting and trusting and uncertainty have a way of wearing one out.] Anyway, after the message, we had the opportunity to respond by going to tables in the back which were covered in brown paper with giant red “No” symbols painted on them.  Continue reading →

True Identity

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While talking with a friend of mine who just finished 16 rounds of chemo I realized she still has a long road ahead of her before she can come out of the cancer woods.  She has a double mastectomy and hysterectomy in her future along with radiation, then probably reconstructive surgery.  Just hearing about it was a little overwhelming for me, so I’m sure it’s daunting to her at times, too.  She seems so peaceful, though.  She’s thankful to be alive.  She’s thankful for a good prognosis and the way her cancer responded to the chemo.  She told me confidently that cancer can take her hair, take parts of her that give her some of her femininity, make her sick and more, but it can’t take her soul.  Cancer can’t steal who she really is.

As I reminisced briefly with her about my mastectomy 7 years ago I realized that I still feel some hurt over the surgery changing my body, which is still a little lopsided and unnatural.  She is right and I needed to be reminded that my identity doesn’t lie in my physical appearance or health, Continue reading →

“I’ll tell you who you really are”

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“What do you want to be when you grow up?”  There seem to a rare, lucky few who actually know the answer to that question, even from a young age.  You know, kids that say they want to be a doctor and end up actually becoming one.  I was not one of those people.  In elementary school I knew I was going to be a veterinarian.  I liked animals so it just seemed natural.  My girls had various aspirations growing up like nursing, teaching, being an artist, etc.  I’ll never forget the surprise and giggles we got as a family when my youngest (about 10 at the time) once told us at the dinner table that she wanted to be a monster truck driver.   I think she’s changed her mind since then…I think. Continue reading →