Slaying Self

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?  Romans 7:21-24 The Msg                   These words were penned by the apostle Paul.

It’s the daily battle with a relentless enemy that gets me down lately.  I constantly have to deal with a shrewd pain in the spiritual rear who plays on my emotions, tries to draw me back to old habits once left behind, swaggers along behind tossing a heavy coat of insecurity and pride on me time and time again no matter how many times I throw it off.  Whenever I get irritated enough to turn around I see that it’s me:  my old nature, my sinful self following me around.

I want to get rid of self but it’s like a static cling.   No matter what milestones I pass or lessons I learn, it’s a dormant disease that never fully goes away.  I feel I could scream Paul’s words sometimes.  What can I do, God?  I know what’s right but so often don’t do it.  I’m my own worst enemy!  Help!

In the book “Voyage of the Dawn Treader” by C.S. Lewis, one of the main characters, Eustace, discovers the answer to this universal problem.  Continue reading

Who I’m Not

I have the joy of hanging out with the senior high kids on Wednesday nights at church.  I don’t have much responsibility except once a month or so handing out snacks, which is fun because teenagers love to eat.   A bonus is getting to witness God at work in young hearts.  Another bonus is having him work in my heart at the same time.  You know adults have a lot of the same insecurities that teenagers do and need a lot of the same lessons and reminders.  Even though there’s an age difference we’re all walking the path together.

Tonight we were taught that in order to know who we really are, we have to realize, admit and decide who we are NOT.  What a great truth and how we all need to know it.  [Important side note: During worship the youth band led the song “How He Loves” and as we sang the words about how much God loves us, my throat tightened and my eyes stung a little.  In my heart I told God that I don’t really feel that right now but I was singing it trying to believe it.  You know, prolonged waiting and trusting and uncertainty have a way of wearing one out.] Anyway, after the message, we had the opportunity to respond by going to tables in the back which were covered in brown paper with giant red “No” symbols painted on them.  Continue reading

Get out of my way, I can’t see!

It happens every once in a while:  something I’m concerned about grows so large within me it swallows me up and leaves me feeling trapped in stomach-churning anxiety.  I know I should trust God, I know He’s good, I know He’s in control, I know He can handle anything.  It’s just that sometimes these concerns get in the way and I can’t see God.

It happened on Saturday.  I was at my parents’ home for the weekend, helping my mom pack up.  They’ll be moving to Arizona soon for their retirement and couldn’t be more excited.  It was so good to spend time with them.  For some reason on Saturday I started thinking again about the extreme tightness of my family’s budget right now and that it’s likely to be that way for some time because of our circumstance and I couldn’t even eat the yummy double-cheeseburger my dad had brought me.  I think the grinding sound my brakes made on my trip over and the idea of another car repair bill got it all stirred up this time.  Continue reading

TGYWTT

This morning I realized that I forgot Thankful Thursday again!  So instead of TGIF, today I say TGYWTT:  Thank God Yesterday Was Thankful Thursday.

This time I want to thank God for the things I usually think of as negative or unwanted in my life.  I know He uses everything to help us grow, to strengthen us, to keep us humble, to help us remain desperate for Him.  Thanking God even for the awful things you encounter is a way of saying “I trust You, God, and still believe that you’re good.  I believe what you said about causing all things to work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)  Like the Psalmist said in chapter 118, “Thank God because he’s good, because his love never quits.” (The Msg)  I thank God because He’s good and that never changes….so I can always be thankful.

As a follower of Jesus I say that I’m content whatever comes my way because my life belongs to Him and I trust Him.  Can I take it a step further and actually be thankful for the hard stuff that comes my way?  Sometimes I can.  I try to.  I guess that’s what the song means that says “we bring a sacrifice of praise.”  Being thankful can actually feel like sacrifice.   We may not feel thankful but we choose to be.  So here goes… Continue reading

I lift up my hands

I lift up my hands in prayer – presenting myself wide open and vulnerable before You, God.  I trust You.

I lift my hands in awe and amazement and then spread them far out in front of me as I kneel down with my head to the ground.  You are holy.  The palms of my hands press against the cool earth, a reminder of where I came from, that I’m really dust.  How is it that you care about me, God?   Continue reading

One step closer to hope

SPOILER ALERT:  This post contains details about the movie “Devil” currently in theaters, story by M. Night Shyamalan.

Do you believe in the devil?  If so, what do you think about him?  Or what fables have you heard about him?  I’ve always wondered where the image of a little red guy with a greasy mustache, pointy tail and a pitchfork came from.  There really aren’t many details about him in the Bible that tell us who he is other than a fallen angel, thief, prince of darkness, father of lies, and deceiver.  Jesus said the devil only aims to do three things:  to steal, kill and destroy  (John 10:10).  Peter warned us, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”  I Peter 5:8

M. Night Shyamalan uses that verse from Peter as a springboard to tell a story about sinners and their fate.  Although it’s fantasy, there are some truths in the movie, truths that won’t leave me alone today. Continue reading

Know your enemy

Someone I dearly love has been wrestling with lies from the enemy and shared more openly with me tonight about it.  As I listened I got mad, furious that he would torment her and give her such ideas, ideas to harm herself.  I reminded her that he doesn’t care about her and she doesn’t have to listen.  She said she needs a miracle.  The beautiful thing is that we serve a God who does miracles all the time.  Read this and be encouraged:

————————————————————————

(I posted this on my old blog a few years ago – I want to post it again)

Our spiritual enemy wants the opposite of what God wants for each of us. He will use lots of different tactics to try to drag us away and turn from God.

In order to defend yourself or even have a chance at defeating an enemy, you must know about the enemy. Here are a few things you need to remember about our spiritual enemy, the devil: Continue reading

It’s going to be good

I don’t know what’s ahead tomorrow; don’t even know what’s ahead in a few hours or two minutes from now.  But it’s going to be good.

It may be something different from what I plan.  It may hurt.  It may make me laugh.  I might be overjoyed or concerned, scared, relieved, bewildered or surprised but I belong to a good God so it’s going to be good.  Good doesn’t necessarily mean “happy” or comfortable or even pleasant.  There’s a deeper good that God knows and wants to give.

My God who keeps His promises.  My God who loves and loves and loves.  We can’t out-give Him.  He is good.

Sadly, the hard stuff of life can sometimes cause me to see God as indifferent, angry, or unkind.  What if instead I saw Him as He is:  a wholly devoted, attentive, compassionate Dad who can relate to how I feel in every moment.

Have you ever bought a gift for someone and you know it’s exactly what they want and waiting until it’s time to give it to them is almost unbearable?  You just can’t wait to give it to them because you know how happy they will be and you want to make them happy because you love them.  God probably has to restrain Himself from bowling us over with revelations, blessings, and knowledge of outcomes because it’s for our good, because it’s not time yet or we’re not ready to receive what He has for us yet.  I think He can hardly wait to help us and show us all that He has planned.  I imagine it’s especially hard for Him when He has to remain silent, watching while we cry out, all so that we will search more, grow more, and become stronger.

Sometimes when talking with friends about things I don’t understand we say that when we get to heaven we can ask God about it.  Maybe then He’ll finally show me what it was all about or why certain things happened.

You know what?  I don’t think I will care at that point!  When I see Him face to face – the One who somehow shrunk His vastness down into the tiny, frail body of a human baby and grew up among the limited, common folks He Himself made out of dust, and then actually gave his life up for all of us because of unrelenting love – I think all I will be able to say is “thank you.”

All the stuff that happened here will be wiped from my memory and won’t matter anymore.  All that will matter is that it drove me to Jesus and helped me get home.

It’s going to be so good.

“…open your eyes and see—how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him.”  Psalm 34:8  The Message

“You bless all of those who trust you, LORD.”  Psalm 40:4  CEV

Thought for the Day

If I’m like a glow-in-the-dark star and the light of Jesus is what “charges” me up to glow, people won’t see the glow as much in broad daylight.  It’s when things get dark that the glow shows up.  Don’t run from or wish away tough times.  They’ll see what God’s doing in your life much more when things get dark.  Just stay close to Jesus and glow.

We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!  Romans 5:4 The Message

Did you know?

Did you know…

  • That you’re free – free to just be the “you” God made you to be
  • You’re not responsible for the choices other people make, just your own
  • You don’t have to save everyone or fix their problems, only Jesus can do that
  • You don’t have to figure out how to get from point A to point B, you just trust God
  • You are loved more than you can possibly think of, dream up or imagine, even when you mess up
  • There’s no such thing as a perfect person (except for Jesus)
  • Everyone has some kind of dysfunction in their life and in their family, and that’s okay
  • God made you the way you are on purpose and He has good things for you to do, in whichever stage of life you find yourself right now
  • It’s okay to laugh and have fun when you worship and praise God
  • God gave everything to have you near, to have you walk with Him, talk with Him, love Him and be with Him forever.
  • God’s forgiveness and fresh start are available for you today and every day.
  • You can’t make God love you more by “being good.”  He just loves because He IS love.  So be still and be loved by Him.  Do good just to thank Him and help others know Him.
  • That anything good in me and you is from God, not from us
  • You connect with God differently than others, and that’s okay.  You may connect through music, through being outdoors, through journaling, through quiet times, through serving other people…whichever way you connect to Him is okay.
  • Guilt is not from God.  It helps us realize we need to change but God doesn’t want us to live under guilt.  He means for us to be FREE
  • You are FREE when you accept Jesus’ forgiveness and surrender to Him.  I’m talking truly free.
  • This day is God’s gift to you because He loves you.  He was watching you sleep and couldn’t wait for you to open your eyes and wake up.  He’s singing over You because He is so delighted in You, today, right now.  Take His hand and just wait and see all the beautiful things He will show you.