Faith Fatigue

Sometimes cheerleaders need a cheerleader themselves.  Sometimes those who are often strong need someone strong.  Sometimes those with deep convictions need reassurance.  Even those with strong faith face times when it’s harder to believe, or at least harder to stand up tall and declare with confidence that God is at work.   Getting through life sometimes feels like I’m a scrawny rookie football player trying to make it past a line of huge linesmen pumped up on adrenaline and ready to take me down.  As I run I get bumped from side to side, tripped, flipped over, even knocked flat once in a while.  When that happens there are times I jump up, impassioned, fueled and motivated to run even harder.  Then there are times when I just lay there looking up at the sky.

I was looking up at the sky today.   Continue reading

Front and Center

My cat Rocky laying right in front of the computer monitor, my youngest doing hand stands during commercials when we watch TV, the high school crossing guard waving his flourescent orange wands at me to stop, the ding of my phone notifying me I have a text message, my boss as he gives me a task at work – all want my attention.  For the moment, it’s as if each of them is saying “Hey!  Look at me, front and center here.”  We all need attention, some more than others.

God revealed to me (and it’s not the first time) ever so lovingly but firmly that I tend to seek too much attention for myself or be concerned that other people think well of me.  Facebook is one thing that makes this difficult.  It’s a treasure trove of attention:  people responding to things I say, to pictures I post, to jokes and videos I share.  People commenting about me or my life, interacting with me, giving me virtual pats on the back.  Even my blog brings me attention in a round about way.

When God showed me an ugly, childish attitude that was bubbling up this morning I was embarrassed and frustrated and it comes from being too preoccupied with myself.  Continue reading