Tag Archives: lessons

Dusting off my happiness

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Looking through old posts on this blog, which was started quite a long time ago, is like looking through my parents’ old photo albums when I visit their house. I read stories I wrote about our parenting adventure that I had forgotten, lessons I’ve learned in life and keep relearning. I find memories, some that make me laugh, some that give me a lump in my throat, that have gotten covered up by others falling on top of them in my mind like stacks of papers getting dusty from no one shuffling through them for a while. Sometimes I read what I wrote and think, “Wow, was that me writing that?” I haven’t written for a long time and miss it. It helps me process what I’m feeling, thinking and learning, even though apparently I forget those things before too long.

For reasons I won’t go into detail explaining, the past 9-10 years were peppered with chronic stress and anxiety, which caused some depression, and often numbness. Continue reading →

Hi. My name is Mimi and I’m a control freak.

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Secrets keep you “sick.” It’s truth.

If you want to beat a compulsion or addiction the first step is to admit there’s a problem. You have to admit it to yourself and then to other people. The Bible even recommends it: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Hello. My name is Mimi. I’m a control freak.

Over the years I have caused myself so much anxiety and unnecessary stress because my little perfectionistic, likes to have a plan, very busy self feels like I know how things should be. My tendency is to, often subconsciously, try to manipulate and control people or situations to get the outcome I think is best. Just being real, peeps. Anyone feeling me out there?

I’m blessed to have some people in my life, who, along the way have helped me (and still help me) to see this problem and gently bring me to those so important places of realization which leads to being humbled which leads to saying I’m sorry which should lead to me doing less of the aforementioned attempted controlling. That is the ideal anyway!

I can remember a Sunday years ago when my husband (the pastor) woke up sick and our associate pastor was home with a broken foot. I got to church and started trying to figure out what to do for the service. Continue reading →

What could be better than Rocky in your corner?

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My girls tease me about this now, but I’m always looking for valuable messages or correlations with my faith when I watch movies. It’s just how my brain works. Most movies have a “moral of the story,” or we might relate to a character’s struggle, or be reminded of important truths like self-sacrifice, friendship, doing what’s right in the face of danger, etc. You may laugh, but I was so convicted of over-protective parenting when I saw Finding Nemo for the first time.

After seeing a film, I used to ask the girls what lessons or messages they saw. Gotta take advantage of those teachable moments right?  When we watched “Napoleon Dynamite” I remember my youngest saying as the end credits were rolling, “Mom, I don’t think there were any lessons in that one.” I laughed and had to agree.

When we saw “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” with my grown-up kids during Christmas this past year, I promised I would refrain Continue reading →

My one word

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Somewhere I read about how some choose or ask God to give them one word to focus on this year, a theme for their walk with Jesus in 2015. I hadn’t even asked God yet and He gave me my one word.

During the Christmas season last month a phrase from Scripture kept replaying in my heart and mind: “What is impossible for people is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27 NLT) Jesus said that to the disciples and I can imagine Gabriel might have said it to Mary when He brought her the staggering news that God’s Son would be born into the world through her small, human self.

Though doubt and discouragement have been nagging companions dragging their feet and distracting me, my one word causes me to let go of their hands and look ahead, to look up squinting in the bright light of God’s presence in front of me and all around me. There is more, and it’s good. There is hope and promise and it’s all God’s doing. It’s not up to me, thank goodness.

I am so limited, short-sighted, plagued by fickle yet powerful emotions that can change moment to moment and blind me. My one word is already becoming a beacon back to the path God has for me, an enthusiastic shout to look again at Him, a crucial reminder that it’s not about me and my limitations don’t dictate what God can or cannot do.

My one word is “possible.” I want to live by that word this year. I want to seek out the lessons I can learn, the greater faith God can help me grab hold of, the grander view of more of the eternal in this short life, the freedom from myself when I continually acknowledge Him as the One who CAN.

He once asked Abraham, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” Now He’s asking me.

No, Papa, I know nothing is impossible for You. Keep tight hold of my hand and keep my eyes open to all that is possible, with You.

Worth the Wait

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Why is it so hard to wait?  Is it because it’s hard for us to stop doing things and just be still?  It is because we’re not in control and have to rely on someone else to respond, do something or fulfill a request?  What are we in a hurry to do or where are we in a rush to go?

I’m a pretty patient person in most circumstances, but it’s still sometimes hard for me to wait.  I got lots of practice in the last few years and don’t want to forget the lessons I learned – lessons about perseverance, trust, sacrifices of praise, and surrender.

The Bible has much to say about waiting on God and all the good that can result.  Here are just some of the blessings that come from waiting on God:

  • Help – Psalm 40:1
  • Rescue – Psalm 59:9
  • Victory – Psalm 62:1
  • Answers – Psalm 38:9
  • God will work things out for those who wait – Isaiah 64:4
  • Fresh, renewed strength – Isaiah 40:31
  • Receive what God has promised – Hebrews 6:15, Romans 15:4
  • Justice – Job 35:14
  • Reward – Luke 12:37
  • Hope – Romans 8:25
  • God is good to those who wait – Lamentations 3:25-26
  • Awareness of God’s presence – Psalm 37:7

There are plenty of things we can do while we wait:  thank God for things and people and more, praise Him, talk about Him, read His word, think about Him, and sometimes just be completely quiet, letting our minds and hearts be at peace.

I like these lyrics from a song by Shane Barnard:

i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet’s where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time’s from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

Waiting is difficult because we are impatient people.  We want results and we want them now.  I find I even have this mentality sometimes when I sit down to have quiet time with God.  I want to hear him right away, I want a feeling or sensation of His presence and I forget that sometimes I just need to be patient.  I find that it is always worth the wait.

A gooder good?

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I heard it a few times throughout the weekend, God telling me that my definition of “good” wasn’t good enough.  I feel like He has been showing me and wants to keep showing me a deeper good than I’ve known in the past.  A different good.  A good not based on warm fuzzies or happy emotion, but on truth and purpose.  A good based on the peace and profound satisfaction that comes from knowing you’re in the place where the way God made you fits the need before you….just right.  No square pegs in round holes here.   Happiness is not necessarily the manifestation of this type of good, not always anyway.

I heard Him telling me most clearly as I sat in the room where the church council and leaders had gathered to hear John’s philosophy of ministry and ask him questions.  Throughout the day I had felt awkward at times, a little out-of-place at times, the typical stuff that happens when you’re in a group of complete strangers Continue reading →

Chasing Elvis

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My friend, Nancy, told me some great lessons God taught her while she chased her little beagle one day when he got loose.  I asked her to share it all with me so I could post it on my blog, so here are her “Elvis Epiphanies”:

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And there he goes… again!

We ran through 4 different wooded areas, each surrounded by fencing.  At one point I watched my beagle climb a fence and jump over to the other side.  Not an easy feat for any dog, but especially for a beagle who has a bad hip and has a femur in his back left leg that has been shattered by a bullet.

After an hour and 20 minute chase these are some of the things I learned while I ran and prayed…

  1. Sometimes I see God and hear Him call and I turn and run the opposite direction
  2. Sometimes I let God get close enough to touch me and then I bolt from Him
  3. I usually want to “hear/sense” that God is near ME, but I don’t always want to go where He is going.
  4. Always when I am exhausted, dirty and can’t go another step, He picks me up, cleans me off and holds me while I rest.

These things are very unsatisfying for God, as a matter of fact they suck.

When Elvis was running through the corn field I couldn’t always hear him because my movements in the corn were too loud.  I realized this is the same with me and God.  Sometimes I just need to be still, close my eyes and listen and then I can hear HIM.

At the end of the run I could hear Elvis howling Arrroooof in yet another wooded area.  I told God, I am not going in there.  I hear him, but I don’t have it in me to climb another fence. That is when I heard God say… “go in there”.  I didn’t want to, but I went and there was no fence at this wooded area.  As a matter of fact there was a wide open path without anything obstructing my way.  Then I told God, “it won’t matter he will just run away when I get there.”  God the said, “listen, he’s not moving,”.  I listened and realized the barking was remaining in a localized area.  When I got to Elvis he ran and crawled under a fence.  God gave me the strength to climb the fence and when I got over the fence Elvis just collapsed, totally exhausted from his big adventure.  I didn’t have a leash, so this meant I would have to carry the 35 pounder until I could call home for help.  At this point, I asked God just how in the world was I supposed to climb a fence and hold him at the same time.  No sooner had the words left my lips (yes, I actually said this out loud) when I took 2 steps to my right and found the fence low to the ground that I could climb over without much effort.

When I finished my run, I realized how close God had been.  I also realized it is ALWAYS when I am broken and don’t have the strength to go on it is easiest to hear God’s voice.

I learned that even when I try to control a situation I AM NOT IN CONTROL,  and forgiveness is a choice not a feeling.

Lastly, I learned I cannot do anything alone.  I need God’s help, guidance, wisdom, and strength in everything I do.

refocus, redirect, remember

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I’m learning lots of lessons lately and have been thinking about them, trying to process them, mulling over them so they will sink in and take root in my heart.  Here are two that God’s been bringing me through this week:

Lesson #1:  Contentment.  True contentment in God.  How many times have I said or sung that God is all I need?  Many, many times.  When it comes down to possibly never buying a house or having some material things that before seemed like “givens” in life, however, does my heart change its tune?  Can I hold onto that claim when my paradigm is shifting?  Just because I’ve always thought something doesn’t necessarily make it true or necessary, I’m learning.  It’s been time for me to put my money where my mouth is in regard to relying on God and being content with just Him and what He provides.  We may not be able to buy a house for a year or so, or several years due to the situation we find ourselves in.  Does that matter?  Really?  Continue reading →