Tag Archives: life

The questions with no answers

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I know you have them, too.  Those deep thoughts about the meaning of life and the way things are and why they’re the way they are.  The thoughts and questions that, if you dwell on them too long, start to make you feel anxious or weird or small.   While I was driving to work yesterday, watching the sun grow brighter and then seeing colorful purple and pink clouds spreading away from that rising sun as I drove over a hill, my mind started asking some of those questions – the questions with no answers.  Continue reading →

Tags

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If you look to the right column on my blog, maybe scroll down a bit, you’ll see a bunch of random words jumbled up.  Those are “tags.”  Bloggers tag posts by choosing words that people might use when searching the Internet or their blog to see posts about that topic.   So, if you want to see all the posts I’ve tagged about “parenting,” click on that tag and you’ll see a list of those posts.

Some of the words listed there are larger than others – that’s because the more I’ve used that word as a tag, the larger it appears in the list.  I’ve used “parenting” quite a bit Continue reading →

Can we survive the fire swamp?

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Buttercup: We’ll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.
This was Buttercup’s response when with Prince Humperdink and his men catching up behind and the fire swamp the only way in front of them, Westley suggested they forge ahead through the dark, foreboding woods.
You know how when you’re scared it helps to have someone with you who actually makes fun of the situation or who doesn’t seem frightened in the least?  That’s how Westley was for Buttercup.  He led her in by the hand with confidence, thinking no one would follow them through the swamp so they were surely going to find freedom and the chance to be together on the other side.
After her gown caught on fire from bursts of flame shooting up out of the ground and almost “drowning” in a deep quicksand pit, Buttercup became a bit frazzled. Continue reading →

Tied down

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I’m so glad God never changes.  He is the same as He was from the beginning of time and will be the same until time ends.  That’s a really good thing for all of us puny humans because everything and everyone else in this life changes all the time!  Just as sure as I start to count on something it falls apart, blows away, shape shifts, or turns out to be something other than what it appeared to be. Continue reading →

Step Back

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Some thoughts from the last few days:

What if every morning I just prayed and said to God, “I’m stepping back, God.  You’re in charge of my schedule, my encounters with other people, my words, my behavior, my safety or lack thereof, my thoughts, everything.”  What amazing things would I experience?  What freedom!  I know I still have plans and schedules, but to release it all to God first thing and remember that His plans are best.  Those are the ones I want.

My sis and I were “talking” through email about this and she had these wise words for me, “Jesus just moved through his day and touched and taught as he went along.  …He was on his way to heal a man’s sick (actually dead) daughter and the sick woman touched his robe.  He stopped briefly and she was healed (ok, her life was changed and it took him like 2 seconds) and then he went on where he was going!  He just allowed life to happen and he worked in the situations that presented themselves.  For whatever reason, ok the Holy Spirit, it was suddenly so clear to me that with Jesus as our example, that is what God wants us to do, too.”

to doSo true!  We tend to be goal-oriented, task-driven people focused on the end of the race as our goal when our goal should really be all the stuff in between, the day to day running, the pressing on, the scenery along that day’s path, the little moments when we see our big God at work in and through us.

I’m going to pray as I walk/jog in the mornings that God will let me relax back into all that He is and just be carried along through the day by Him.  Total trust.  Total surrender.  Total peace, too.  I’m going to just step back.

We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps.   Proverbs 16:9

Fly Butterfly

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blue-morpho-butterfly-518617-ga

I drove out of Anderson to go home tonight and was surprised at the lump in my throat.  Kimmi’s staying overnight at the SOAR weekend at college, scheduling classes tomorrow, getting officially ready to start this fall.  We’re one step closer to her moving out, gradually shifting from one stage of family to the next.  Thankfully we’ll have several years to adjust as the other two move through high school and beyond.  Watching Kimmi graduate was fun and exciting but surreal.  Wow.  We’re really here, she’s really 18, life really is moving on.

It’s another reminder to me to live in today and enjoy what’s going on right now.  I’m determined not to get too emotional and miss the fun of this weekend for my girl.  Nicole C. Mullen wrote a song I love about moms blessing their daughters as they go out into the world.  The lyrics go like this: Continue reading →

Another chance

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As we sat outside Starbucks on the patio, enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze, we laughed and laughed.  Rather than feeling awkward like I feared it might be, I was actually completely at ease and felt like I did the last time I got to be with these friends.  “How long has it been?” we asked each other.  “16 years?  That doesn’t seem possible!”   We took turns catching each other up, going back to 16 years ago and giving the nutshell version of life for us since then.  So much has happened since we lost touch with each other – much blessing, much hurt and growing.

I actually didn’t think this day would ever happen.  The friends I’m talking about were very close and dear friends to John and I when we were first married.  We shared community and prayer like never before with them and several other couples in our first small group experience.  We spent lots of time together, talking, laughing, walking, praying, sharing.  A few years into this great friendship, John and I moved to Florida to work in a church there.  Coming back to visit one summer was fun, but already felt a little different.  You know how things change in a relationship when you’re not able to spend much time together.  You tell yourself that it will probably never be quite like it was.

God began leading us different ways, as if I saw my special friend and her husband walking farther and farther away from me until I couldn’t see them at all.   Life has a way of becoming so busy that unless we’re really intentional about staying in touch with people, it just doesn’t happen.  We lost touch.  Continue reading →

Dance!

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Watch this video:

The first time I watched this I giggled and smiled the entire time, almost moved to tears.   Such joy and fun!  I love how as they danced, more and more people joined in until it was soon a huge crowd of joyful, jumping, dancing people.  Joy is contagious!  I immediately thought of our walk with Jesus and how it should affect people like this.  The joy we have in knowing Him should be contagious, obvious, bubbling over and drawing people in.  Jesus promised that if we lift him up He would draw people to Himself.  What better way than to be full of joy and hope.  People are definitely looking for that.  I wish I could have been at this train station, dancing and leaping with these people!  How exhilarating!   Complete freedom and fun.  No worries of what people are thinking.  Contagious, beautiful, swelling joy!

How beautiful our world would be if mankind could interact like this – enjoying life, working together, having fun, celebrating…a preview of what heaven will be like.

novacaine

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I have these periods of times, sometimes only lasting a day sometimes a week or more, when I just feel “blah.”  I don’t really feel bad, just not much of anything and I really don’t like it.  I find myself not caring about things I think I should care about…it’s hard to explain.  I almost get the feeling that all of the stuff we expend our energy on around here in this life is futile – so what’s the point?   I think of myself as a caring, loving person so when these thoughts cover my mind, like an emotional novacaine, it really bothers me.  I pray and ask God to blow away the fog that’s settled on my heart, to bring back some emotion, some overwhelming sense of awe or love, some tears for someone who’s hurting or sick, some compassion for people I see that are down and out.  Instead I feel apathy.

I’ve heard that people with leprosy lose the feeling in their limbs, their nerve endings ceasing to perform their vital function of proclaiming sensation to the brain.  One might wish for a life without pain, but to not feel pain is to not really exist.  A leper might not have pain and so may not know if they place their hand on a hot stove and that their skin is being burned.  They may get cut and not realize they’re bleeding or get infected because they don’t know there’s an injury.  Pain seems to be an indicator of life, of things functioning the way they’re supposed to.  No pain truly is no gain!   Continue reading →

Dreams on the back burner

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She opened her purse and pulled out a kleenex, dabbing her eyes as she admitted disappointment. “I just feel like my soul is unsettled”, she shared. I can relate to this heartache in a way because we are in a very similar situation. I have a feeling there are more people in this boat with us than we realize, considering the current economic nightmare our country is trudging through. We own a house in the city we left to move here and are in the process of trying to rent it to someone…again. In the meantime we rent a townhouse, which is nice, in a safe, quiet neighborhood, fairly reasonable in price and adequate space for our family and two fur-balls we call pets. Deep in my heart is the dream that someday we’ll have our own place, and all our stuff will be in one place. We’ll have more room to have friends in and can really settle in. We’ll have a yard and a garage and on it goes. My friend is in this same boat – she and her husband own a home and can’t sell it. Meanwhile they’re living with family here. We both admitted we have more than we need but we can’t shake the dream of each being settled in a place of our own.

ist2_2936389-young-couple-dreaming-about-a-houseI don’t really know how to let go of this dream. It’s a daily process – trying to remain content and thankful and focus on other things. It’s interesting the things that make us feel settled in our hearts and souls: having a permanent residence, all belongings moved in and in their places, a steady job, a routine we’re used to, comfort zone stuff. Vice versa, temporary situations, not having all your belongings accessible to you, lots of change, living with someone else and feeling like you’re an outsider – like it’s not really your home – all of these seem to keep the contentedness of heart at bay. There seems to be a longing inside most of us to have a place, to have a home, to be settled down.

Maybe that’s why we feel so unsettled in this life. Continue reading →