Tag Archives: love

Halt. Refocus.

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God our Father loves us. He is kind and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope.  II Thessalonians 2:16  CE

I didn’t even know she was ill.  I wasn’t close friends with the family but I know them and was so shocked and sad to hear that she succumbed to a long battle with cancer and has now gone to be with Jesus.  I’m not sad she went to be with Jesus but sad that her husband, not much older than John and I is now without his partner, and that her two kids, the age of my college girls, are now without their mom when there are still life milestones to cross like marriage and grandbabies and a host of other special events.

It causes my heart to halt and forces me to remember … Continue reading →

Totally Devoted

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Whenever I hear the word “devoted” I think of that song from the musical “Grease” when Sandy is singing about Danny and how much she can’t help loving him.  “Totally devoted to youuuu…” You know that one?

This morning while reading today’s devotional in Jesus Calling this line stood out to me:  “I go before you to open up the way, and I also walk alongside you. There could never be another companion as devoted as I am.”¹  (Jesus Calling reads as if Jesus is talking to the reader personally.)  I looked up the word devoted and found this definition: as a noun – “zealous or ardent in attachment, loyalty or affection” and as a verb – “to give up or concentrate on a particular pursuit, occupation, purpose, cause, etc.” ²

I’ve heard a lot about people being devoted to something or someone, and to God, but hadn’t really thought of God being devoted to us, not in those certain terms.  It does say in the Bible that God is a “consuming fire, a jealous God” (Deuteronomy 4:24).  He is not jealous of us, He is jealous for us – for our attention.  The Word says that God is love (I John 4:8), that His faithfulness reaches to the skies (Psalm 36:5), that He is always true and keeps His word (Psalm 145:13).  I love the verse in Romans that says if God gave up His only Son for us, how would He not also give us every good thing?  That He is for us and nothing can separate us from His devoted love (Romans 8:31-35).

Why would God be devoted to humans?   Continue reading →

Are you ready for Christmas?

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“Are you ready for Christmas?” is the question of the week.  I’ve heard it a bazillion times from friends and patients at work and wherever I go – to the gas station, grocery store, church, on Facebook, etc.  Okay, maybe not a bazillion times, but a lot.

Since we’re planning on a simple Christmas, which has always proven to be the most meaningful to us anyway, I’m not sure how to answer people since they’re probably talking about shopping for presents, entertaining, etc.  This afternoon as I was thinking about it some more I realized I’m more than ready.

Am I ready to celebrate the fact that God loves people, including me, and spared nothing to draw us close to Himself?  Yes.  Am I ready to remember and wonder at the mystery of a bigger-than-the-universe God shrunken down into a human girl’s womb?  To be amazed Jesus would willingly be contained in a body like ours knowing those 33 years of life on this planet would end in betrayal and death?  Always.  He came and joined our temporal, earthy experience anyway.  He loved and gave then, loves and gives now.  Am I ready to have my heart centered again, its gaze locked on the beautiful baby King?  To be nestled in peace?  More than ready.  Am I ready to spend time with friends and family, people I love?  Of course!  How about being ready to welcome Jesus to my heart once more, making sure I’ve cleared away and swept clean every space inside so that He can have all the room he wants within me?

Oh yeah.

I’m ready for Christmas!

The people who walked in darkness 
      have seen a great light. 
   They lived in a land of shadows, 
      but now light is shining on them.
 You have given them great joy, Lord; 
      you have made them happy. 
   They rejoice in what you have done…

 A child is born to us! 
      A son is given to us! 
      And he will be our ruler. 
   He will be called, 
         Wonderful Counselor,
         Mighty God, 
         Eternal Father,
         Prince of Peace.  (Isaiah 9:1-9 Good News Translation)

You’re the reason

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With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.  Romans 8:1-2 The Message

Guilt is described as a sense of remorse or responsibility for some offense or wrong-doing, whether real or imagined.   It plaques every one of us at one time or another and can become oppressive causing us to trudge instead of walk freely, to feel low and even worthless.  It’s like wearing a stack of lead aprons, the kind the dentist lays on top of you when you’re about to have an x-ray.

Where does it come from?   From other people?  After all they can be judgmental and have certain expectations of us, or we can value their opinions of us far too much.  Maybe sometimes.  From ourselves?  Each of us is probably our harshest critic and with help from our enemy, the devil, accuse ourselves ruthlessly.  From God?   Continue reading →

One thing at a time

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My mom used to tell me, when I was feeling overwhelmed by too many things to do, to just take one thing and start doing it.  Once I got going, my motivation kicked in, fear and stress bowed out and I was able to knock my way through my to do list bit by bit.  It was the looking at the whole pile of tasks that made me stop in my tracks, thinking it was all too much or wondering how I was going to accomplish everything by the time it needed to be done.

My daughter texted me the other night feeling much the same way about school work.  Her list of assignments/papers/tests was looming over her and had frozen her in one spot feeling inadequate for the job.  I tried to encourage her to do the same thing – “start with one thing, do one thing at a time and you’ll get through it!”

This morning in my devotional, there was a wonderful illustration of how the fog on the path ahead of us in life is actually one of God’s mercies, enabling us to just focus on the step in front of us, the day we are living in right now.  If God were to lift that fog and allow us to see the entire path, with all its twists and turns, mountaintop highs and desperate, painful or lonely lows, we would certainly be overwhelmed and our little feet would probably refuse to move at all.  We would stare with open mouths, knotted stomachs and pounding hearts and think “there’s no way I can do all that or get past all of that” or “How in the world will I know what to do or which way to go?”

Accept God’s merciful, loving gift of not having to see all of the future or all the path ahead of you, take his hand (because He’s right beside you) and take one step.  Then another, as He leads you.  You can live in this day with Him.  You can have peace in not having to figure out all of your future at once.  God will show you.  He will give you all you need to do one thing at a time.

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. – I Corinthians 13:12  The Message

He was there

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I got my diagnosis on my mom’s birthday.  That just doesn’t seem right does it?  My surgery was that Friday, only five days later.  What a whirlwind week it was.  My parents dropped everything and drove to St. Louis to be with us, even though my dad was a pastor with a busy schedule.  I don’t remember how many days I had to stay in the hospital, I think only two.  I just remember with clarity an early morning blood draw to check my white cell count to see if I could go home.

Shortly after the lab tech left the room, my dad walked in.  He was carrying his garment bag and told me he was about to go back home but wanted to come see me first.  While he was with me, my surgeon, Dr. Billy, came in to tell me that my levels were low and I was going to have to stay longer in the hospital.  My heart sunk into a fearful thought that there might be more cancer.  Then Dr. Billy noticed they had drawn blood out of the arm that had an IV and it had diluted the blood sample.  He had them come back in and draw from my other arm, it was okay, and I was able to go home!

It may not sound like a big deal, but it helped so much that my dad was there.  I didn’t have to be alone through that brief unsettling moment.  He was thinking of me that morning and wanted me to know.  He was there because he loves me.  What did I do to get my dad to love me? Continue reading →

Life with the wonder cats

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Look at him, that little – I mean BIG chubber over there, just laying on the floor.  What a rough life.  We’ve always been “dog people” until a few years ago when Rocky decided we belonged to him.  We heard meowing outside and pawing on our front door.  When we opened the door, he just strolled in as if he’d lived with us for years.  We sent him back out but day after day he hung around, came out of the bush by the front porch to be petted and charm us with his cuteness until we finally gave in and let him come inside for good.

Our doggy went to doggy heaven last fall so now we are “cat people.”  I never thought that would happen.  I have to admit I was a little prejudiced before, thinking cats were not as good as dogs, but I’ve grown quite attached to our two furry felines. Continue reading →

The noise upstairs

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It just gets too quiet sometimes around our house these days.  Now that two of our girls are in college and our youngest is gone often with friends, I miss those sounds I’ve loved all throughout our life.  I miss the sounds of the girls giggling, talking, singing in their rooms or playing instruments, playing video games, having friends in and putting on plays, running in and outside the house, and just life.  I miss the sound of them walking up and down the stairs, doing dishes in the kitchen while singing to their iPod, typing away on the computer keyboard across the room, talking on their phones, or even watching TV.  Those sounds let me know my girls were home.

Last weekend all my girls were here, along with my oldest daughter’s boyfriend.  As John and I went to bed at night, I heard their footsteps upstairs, Continue reading →

Not that I want to go there again…

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Last year was fraught with stress, pressure, hurt, questions, doubts, frustrations…you name it!  In fact the last few years for us were pretty stressful in one way or another and brought some disappointments here and there.  That’s the way it is for everyone, I know, it just seemed to be ultra concentrated for a while.  My heart was gasping for God like suffocating lungs for oxygen.  I had to hear His voice, tried to find Him day after day and be near Him.

In this new chapter of life we’ve just started many of those pressures have been relieved.  Life feels a little easier right now.  The only problem is, how do I stay so intimately connected to God like I was before?  It seems I searched for Him more fervently when I didn’t know where the resources to meet our needs in each day were coming from or when I felt so at a loss for solutions that I simply fell into Him in hope that He had them ready.

It’s not like I want to go back, no, no, no, Continue reading →

Good Scars

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She said she’s going to get a tattoo that says “Beauty from pain” on her forearm where she has a few scars.  The scars remind her of a not so great choice she made last year and each time she looks at them, she told me, she thinks about what she did.  The scars were like tightly bound, rough ropes that kept her tethered to shame.  She would see them and berate herself all over again for cutting her arm in a moment of deep hurt and loneliness.  I think it did break one of those binding ropes when she told me about it, which she had put off doing for a while.  God was healing her one step at a time.

As she talked about it with me and how she wanted to replace those scars with a positive message, I told her that the scars are not all bad.  They will fade in time, but instead of bringing up shame or disgust with herself for something she feels was a mistake, they could remind her of all God has done for her and is doing right now to help her grow, heal her heart, and use her to encourage other people.  She has good scars.

I remembered back to 2003 when I was recovering from a mastectomy and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time without bandages.   Continue reading →