Tag Archives: peace

He was there

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I got my diagnosis on my mom’s birthday.  That just doesn’t seem right does it?  My surgery was that Friday, only five days later.  What a whirlwind week it was.  My parents dropped everything and drove to St. Louis to be with us, even though my dad was a pastor with a busy schedule.  I don’t remember how many days I had to stay in the hospital, I think only two.  I just remember with clarity an early morning blood draw to check my white cell count to see if I could go home.

Shortly after the lab tech left the room, my dad walked in.  He was carrying his garment bag and told me he was about to go back home but wanted to come see me first.  While he was with me, my surgeon, Dr. Billy, came in to tell me that my levels were low and I was going to have to stay longer in the hospital.  My heart sunk into a fearful thought that there might be more cancer.  Then Dr. Billy noticed they had drawn blood out of the arm that had an IV and it had diluted the blood sample.  He had them come back in and draw from my other arm, it was okay, and I was able to go home!

It may not sound like a big deal, but it helped so much that my dad was there.  I didn’t have to be alone through that brief unsettling moment.  He was thinking of me that morning and wanted me to know.  He was there because he loves me.  What did I do to get my dad to love me? Continue reading →

To Inifinity and Beyond

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Do you ever feel afraid when you think about going to heaven?  That’s a weird question, I know.  I woke this morning thinking not so much about heaven exactly, as about eternity, about what happens when we die, about what it could be like to be somewhere forever…and ever.  It may seem crazy to you but whenever I start thinking about that I begin to feel anxious.  I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s something my mind can’t grasp or understand.   After all, I have no frame of reference.  Everything in my life, and in this world, has a beginning and end.  I was conceived and began as a cluster of cells multiplying and growing (a pretty huge miracle in itself).  When my time has come, I will die and my heart will stop beating, my brain stop processing and thinking, and my physical body will give out.  Each day has a beginning (the sun comes up) and an end (the sun goes down and the moon and stars appear).  I wake and sleep.  There are physical boundaries to my home, my town, my country, and my world.  Once into space, however, it starts to become mind-boggling since there is no edge to the universe.  Where does it end, if it ends and if it does, what’s on the outside of it?  OH!  I tell myself to just stop thinking about it, to stop trying to comprehend how it could be.  The truth is, there is no way we can see the edge or end of the universe, and from what I’ve heard it keeps spreading, so infinity seems to be reality.

If you’re still reading this rambling post, bully for you!   Continue reading →

Did you know?

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Did you know…

  • That you’re free – free to just be the “you” God made you to be
  • You’re not responsible for the choices other people make, just your own
  • You don’t have to save everyone or fix their problems, only Jesus can do that
  • You don’t have to figure out how to get from point A to point B, you just trust God
  • You are loved more than you can possibly think of, dream up or imagine, even when you mess up
  • There’s no such thing as a perfect person (except for Jesus)
  • Everyone has some kind of dysfunction in their life and in their family, and that’s okay
  • God made you the way you are on purpose and He has good things for you to do, in whichever stage of life you find yourself right now
  • It’s okay to laugh and have fun when you worship and praise God
  • God gave everything to have you near, to have you walk with Him, talk with Him, love Him and be with Him forever.
  • God’s forgiveness and fresh start are available for you today and every day.
  • You can’t make God love you more by “being good.”  He just loves because He IS love.  So be still and be loved by Him.  Do good just to thank Him and help others know Him.
  • That anything good in me and you is from God, not from us
  • You connect with God differently than others, and that’s okay.  You may connect through music, through being outdoors, through journaling, through quiet times, through serving other people…whichever way you connect to Him is okay.
  • Guilt is not from God.  It helps us realize we need to change but God doesn’t want us to live under guilt.  He means for us to be FREE
  • You are FREE when you accept Jesus’ forgiveness and surrender to Him.  I’m talking truly free.
  • This day is God’s gift to you because He loves you.  He was watching you sleep and couldn’t wait for you to open your eyes and wake up.  He’s singing over You because He is so delighted in You, today, right now.  Take His hand and just wait and see all the beautiful things He will show you.

Today is good

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Today is beautiful.

Today I have more than I need; in fact, compared to many I live in luxury.

Today the sun warms my skin, a warm breeze tousles my hair, all under a canopy clear aqua-blue sky.

Today I am content.

Today I get to spend time with my sister from Arizona who I love.

Today my bills are paid and my car is running.

Today I’m healthy and well.

Today John and I are both employed.

Today, like yesterday and every day ahead of me, I have the incredible privilege of enjoying a close relationship with God.  He was waiting for me as I opened my eyes this morning – waiting to give me the gift of this day.

Today I’m exploring His gift as it unwinds.  I’ll miss beauty, blessings, and even God Himself if I’m all bound up in wondering about days ahead.

Jesus said to live in today…not yesterday and not tomorrow.  That’s good because I don’t know what’s coming tomorrow.  It’s actually a loving gift He gave us, to just dwell in the day we woke to, to enjoy it, to walk hand in hand through it with him and those around us, to be thankful and at peace.

So, I’m living in this day.

And today is good.

Jesus said, “What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”  Matthew 6:33-34 The Message

Day 8 – Peace, Providence & the Peewee

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I pulled into the parking lot at work this morning and thought to myself, “How did I get here?”  My head was pounding from a sinus headache and my body evidently switched into autopilot to transport me from point A to point B.  The office is very quiet – on Wednesdays I’m usually the only one here – and so the whir of the heating system and the quiet clicking of the keys on my keyboard were the only sounds I heard for a while.  Even though my head was still hurting, the quietness was welcome and gave me peace.

God reminded me yesterday that fretting over the future or letting fear creep in robs me of the peace He has for me.  Continue reading →

Whose dream are you hoping for?

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Joseph had probably been planning and dreaming for a few years. Now the dream was beginning to materialize: Mary was his betrothed!  He had been working and saving to provide a home for her to come to – to join him and make a family, to have children and love life together.  He couldn’t keep from smiling just at the thought of it all.  She was due back from her visit with her cousin Elizabeth today. He put away his tools and cleaned up from his project, hurried out the door and down the street. As he shielded his eyes from the desert sun, he could see the caravan slowly approaching, wispy dust clouds hovering around the camels’ feet. His heartbeat quickened.  He could make out her pretty face now, her petite form as she dismounted and walked toward him.  Continue reading →

mishmash

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Photo 270Time for an emptying of the mind from the last few days worth of ponderings and thoughts:

  • As I went through the drive-thru at McDonald’s the other morning before work I saw out of the corner of my eye a brilliant sunrise, deep pinks, red and purple tinged clouds spread wide.  I thought to myself, “that will be so pretty to drive toward” as I paused a moment to fix up my burritos and get situated before heading down the road.  I pulled out of the parking lot and looked up to see only gray clouds and blandly-colored sunlight.  What?!  Where did it go?  It was so beautiful but so fleeting.  I would have missed it completely had I not noticed it just at the right moment.  I was sad I didn’t get to see it fully in the wide open.  I think oftentimes God is at work and I don’t notice, maybe because it is a fleeting seemingly small thing, or something I’d have to be purposefully watching for to enjoy.  In Isaiah God said, “I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”  (Isaiah 43:19  NLT) I want to see the beautiful things, big or small, that God is doing all around me.  I have to be watching.
  • At a time when I probably should be concerned or trying to figure out what will happen next, I have complete peace.  This is only because of God!  I’m enjoying it.  I think the desperate feelings I’ve had the last month or so have given way to it, because I’ve been pressing hard into my Father.  I’ve been as needy for him as I would be for air if I were held under water.   Corrie Ten Boom is one of my favorite writers and she is credited with this great quote, “When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.”  Choosing to trust lately has been one of the hardest things I’ve done but it has brought me to a place of peace, a place of really trusting the engineer even in complete darkness or thick fog. Continue reading →

WTDWYDKWTD #3

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“The godly offer good counsel…”  Psalm 37:30

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume…”  Proverbs 27:9

If you know me at all, you know that when something is on my mind I need to talk about it…a lot.  I have times of quiet, to be sure, when I need to pray and think, but I also need to process my thoughts by talking with someone.  I think everyone is like that to a certain extent.   My husband is my absolute best friend and partner, but sometimes I need to talk to someone a little more outside the situation – someone who hopefully can be objective.

There’s wisdom in seeking out a godly friend to listen and give feedback when you’re not sure what to do.  Be sure to choose your listener/adviser/counsel wisely.  (Whenever I say “choose wisely” I think of the 3rd Indiana Jones movie scene when the bad guy chose the wrong holy chalice and got his face melted off.  Please…choose wisely!)  It doesn’t make sense to ask just anyone what I should do or what they think, if they don’t believe the same things I do.  For instance, if I shared a story about someone who had hurt me with a non-believing friend, they might advise me to just ignore that person from now on or even take revenge somehow.  Continue reading →

The Blahs vs Mimi

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POTM_2008_03WinterBlahsThe last few nights I’ve slept restlessly.  I don’t know if it’s because our mattress is on the floor right now (we threw out our box springs in the bed bug fiasco this summer), if I’m thinking about a lot of things, or what.

I think it’s the latter of those:  lots of things on my mind.  Maybe if I type them out I’ll feel better.  Sure – why not unload them on you?  Just kidding.  If you don’t mind “listening” here goes:

Almost two years ago when we moved into our townhouse we were following the Dave Ramsey plan religiously.  It was hard but we actually had “financial peace” because we were saving little bits for the things ahead, we were using cash for purchases and basically living within our means.  Well we gradually floated away from those strict guidelines and so now are scrambling to get back to that financially peaceful state.  Pile on a few more expenses and concerns and the trip back is becoming a little more taxing and stressful for me.  Kimmi’s going to college next week, our short-term tenants are moving out of our Hazelwood house next week, we’ve had those unexpected repairs and other expenses that always turn up so now the savings is back to square one (zero), and it goes on.  This is not unlike so many others, though, I know that!  I also know God’s always provided for us.  Why is it, then, that in the meantime I allow myself to get so anxious?  I’m not trusting fully today.  I’m also kicking myself for not sticking with the plan – we would be better off at this point.  The guilt is pretty heavy – as this is a subject I struggle with all the time!

It’s just one of those days – I feel emotional and quiet.  Quiet is okay.  Emotions are okay but I am asking God to settle me down.  I want His amazing peace, like a hot towel fresh out of the dryer wrapped around me to ease the chill of guilt, pressure, and uncertainty.  I remember one of my life verses in Philippians 4 and recall the well-known and wonderful advice from Paul to lay my needs before God, be thankful, and know He’ll take care of me and my family.  Oh – and rejoicing.  How do you rejoice when you feel down and emotional?  That’s a puzzler.  If I intentionally think about how good God is, how He blesses, try to think above earthly/material things and rise up to an eternal perspective it gets easier.  Rejoicing doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re jumping up and down with a big smile on your face like a middle school cheerleader.  The word rejoice means “to be glad about”.  I can be glad in many things and remember that even if all I had – ALL I had – was God, I would have enough and I could be glad.  Well I DO have God!  I have more than enough in my life…and I AM glad.

Thanks for “listening”.

I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.   Psalm 16:8-9  NLT

Just Do It

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nike-just-do-it

The famous Nike slogan “Just Do It”, coined by Dan Wieden, co-founder of the advertising agency Wieden+Kennedy, was considered one of the top ad slogans of the 20th century.  I’m adopting it as my personal slogan.  The tricky thing is that I have a lifetime membership in “Procrastinators Anonymous” (I think we’re having a meeting tomorrow, maybe).  For some reason I avoid tasks that seem unpleasant or difficult in the attempt to have peace, comfort, or time to partake in some other more enjoyable activity, only to find that I feel more stressed and restless.

Have you ever stood in a kitchen with dirty dishes stacked precariously high, piles of laundry looming, kids messing around when they’re supposed to be doing homework, stacks of clean clothes yet to be put away, bills to pay, a closet to organize, dinner to fix…?  You get the picture.  It seems much easier in those times for me to just to try and forget all I have to do as I get a diet coke and go sit down.  However, it’s all still there when my moment of intentional oblivion is over.  My mom used to tell me, just start on ONE thing.  Just do it.  Continue reading →