Tag Archives: prayer

I’m a flyer, you’re a flyer…

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When was the last time you watched a trapeze act? It must be exhilarating to grip the bar, jump off the platform, swing down and then on the way up let go at the top and fly through the air. Thankfully a fellow trapeze artist is there at just the right time, grabs a hold and swings them to safety on the other side. I enjoy watching these acts most when there is a big net underneath, you know, just in case someone loses grip or doesn’t quite time things right. Then at least they will bounce safely at the bottom and nobody gets hurt.

I’m assuming these trapeze groups have relationships built on lots of trust. I bet the flyers really try to stay on the good side of the catchers, like baking them cookies, giving them foot rubs and the like.

It seems to me there are some very important truths about a good catcher: They must be strong, they must watch the flyer without distraction, they must have good timing, and they must jump out and swing toward the flyer at just the right moment to do their job and bring the flyer back with them.  I read that sometimes the catcher says a reassuring, “Gotcha!” as they grab hold of the flyer.

You may have heard flying on a trapeze as an illustration of a life of faith in God. In that scenario, we who follow Jesus are flyers who let go in life and trust the catcher, God, to be there. They say the flyer shouldn’t try to “catch” the catcher, but just let go of the trapeze bar, hold their arms out straight, and wait for the catcher grab hold. Trust. Big time.

It’s like a child jumping from the side of a pool to their Daddy standing in the water, only bigger and scarier. I mean, I’m flying through the air here Continue reading →

What we want

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There were 10 of us at the table so involved in the conversation we never left to go sit in the family room. Empty dessert plates and half-empty cups here and there, we sat with full hearts, heads bowed and eyes closed to pray.

A few hours before, with hugs and handshakes, four other pastor couples from nearby churches joined us in our home. Almost a year ago, I’m pretty sure I heard God tell me we needed to do this, to get together with the area pastors and their wives, to become friends and support one another. I procrastinated for no particular reason and then my husband, who met with the pastors to pray recently, helped get the ball rolling.

We all talked and laughed and talked some more. Interestingly enough, there was no talk of our churches but more about Continue reading →

Father, forgive him?

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I have a long way to go. My first reaction to the recent tragedy in Charleston was anger, sadness, and frustration. What happened is so wrong, so hurtful, just plain evil. I had the incredibly heartbreaking picture in my mind: those people praying together, unsuspecting, not knowing that minutes away some of them would actually be with the Savior they were praying to.

A dear friend posted on Facebook about how we need to pray for the man who murdered them. He is loved by God just as we are and is evidently troubled. He needs compassion and love. She’s right.

I have so admired people who have that gentle, amazing outlook of forgiveness and compassion in the face of injustice, evil, pain and loss. I think of the story several years ago of some Amish people who actually began reaching out to and caring for a man who shot and killed some of their own.  I’ve heard of parents who began visiting their child’s murderer in prison, befriending them, forgiving and showing God’s love.

I am asking myself today, would I, could I honestly do that? If someone had killed my daughter, my husband, my friend? I know God can help us have a change of heart and help us do anything, but I’m thinking my nature is not bent that way.  Not yet, anyway.  I’m not proud of this, just being honest. I already knew I still have a long way to go in the transformation of my heart to be like Jesus, but today that reality is especially apparent.

I am comforted by the story of Corrie Ten Boom, a woman who endured harsh cruelty in concentration camps during the Holocaust, but kept her faith in Jesus. She began traveling and sharing the story of her experience (and her sister Betsie’s, who died in the camp) as well as the Good News about Jesus. At a church service in Munich, she saw a man who had stood guard in the shower room in the processing center at Ravensbruck. She writes that he was the first of their actual jailers she had seen since being released and when she saw him, all the painful experiences resurfaced.  This is how she describes her encounter with him:

He came up to me beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein,” he said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!”

His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.

I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.

As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.

And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His.  When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself. 1

Corrie was a woman who loved and followed Jesus for years. Yet, even she struggled to forgive.

Sometimes we might think, “Well, I will eventually, it’s just too fresh right now.”

How did Jesus forgive his murderers while He was still hanging on the cross?? His accusers weren’t even repentant, but He had compassion for their lostness and concern for their souls.

Thank goodness, thank God, it is not dependant on me or you. As Corrie so beautifully said, the world’s healing hinges on Jesus’ goodness and forgiveness. We are just commanded to share it and pass it on, even when it feels impossible.

Jesus, help us to be more like You!  I know that love, YOUR love, not anger and retaliation, will reach those troubled, lost ones who hurt others.  Walk so closely with the loved ones of these martyrs in Charleston. Comfort that church, that community. And yes, comfort the killer. Open his eyes and heart to what he’s done, but also please heal and save his soul. I pray in obedience, knowing that even if I don’t feel all these words, you hear and are at work for his sake, as well as those who lost family, friends and pastor. Bring your healing, God, please.

When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed Him to the cross…Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:33-34 NLT

1 p. 238, The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom with John & Elizabeth Sherrill, Copyright 1971, Bantam Books

Unexpected gift

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Standing holding hands on one side with a dear friend and on the other a new friend, I looked at the other women in the circle around the room. It was quiet. We were going to be led in prayer for God’s Holy Spirit to fill us anew, to relight dwindled fires in our hearts, to do whatever He sees fit to do. Our leader was walking quietly around the circle, sharing a few words, her voice low but strong. She paused in front of one woman and spoke encouragement to her, then stopped to pray with another woman who needed physical healing. I bowed my head, looking at the floor, thinking about all I had learned over the weekend.

On the first night, we heard stories of transformation, of lives that were changed dramatically by God’s love, changed so they could show Jesus to other people and live out their true purpose, changed to live in peace and grace.  I had struggled through the worship/singing time to focus on God because I’d been focusing so much during the day on my concern for my girls and their future with God.  

I’ve let go of that concern before (like every day) but that night it was as if I couldn’t do it. It was a heavy weight pulling down on my heart. I asked God why it was so hard this time and the answer was very clear: “You don’t trust me.” I felt terrible. God has done so much for me in the past, why don’t I trust Him more right now? I remembered a father in the Bible who brought his troubled son to Jesus for healing and when Jesus asked if he believed He could heal his son, the father replied, “I believe, but help my unbelief.” I prayed the same.

Saturday morning the lesson stung a little, too. As we sang songs, a friend walked over during the songs to hold tight to the young lady standing next to me who is facing some really hard times. I had been so caught up in myself I wasn’t thinking about other people hurting and needing encouragement. I asked God to forgive my selfish attitude. It’s not all about me, I remembered.

Sunday morning I was enjoying the songs and being with everyone, but still feeling a little distant from God, numb in a way. When the offer was given to come forward for several different prayers I walked to the front with others. I’m taking steps, God. I want You to help me be what You want me to be. I need You.

All these thoughts swirling in my head stopped when I felt a hand grip my shoulder and looked up to see the steady, unblinking gaze of the prayer leader. It’s important to note that I had just met her the day before, she didn’t know me. But, she was talking to me.  “You have a tender heart. You’ve been going through some things, feeling discouraged, sometimes like you even want to give up.” Whoa, I instantly realized it was not just this woman speaking, but God through her. “You may have even thought, ‘God, are you hearing me?’ And God wants you to know He sees you, He’s with you. Things are going to start turning around for you, things are changing.  You just worship and praise God with all your heart. Worship Him, trust Him. If you don’t see it right away don’t be discouraged, don’t look for it and ask ‘Where’s it at, God?’ just worship Him.” I was fighting tears but kept looking into her eyes that never looked away as she said, “I see freedom, as if things are falling away, off of you.” She took a step back, never breaking eye contact and gestured with her hand as if taking something down from my shoulder as she continued, “Some things aren’t turning out the way you thought they would, some things in your family need healing, relationships, some who you’re concerned over, comparing yourself to others, discouragement…it’s all falling away. You just worship and praise God.” 

As she walked away I bowed my head again, dissolved into quiet sobs. The strain, guilt, fear, pressure, and hurt was washing off of me, leaving me feeling so relieved and at peace. 

I felt such love and reassurance – God spoke to me. To ME. He KNEW I needed a sign of His presence with me, a tangible reminder that He’s trustworthy and always at work answering prayers, even those we can’t put into words.  And His message wasn’t a rebuke, it was an understanding and compassionate exhortation. Discouragement from ministry, concerns about the future, parenting, stressful work stuff, forgetting God’s acceptance of me and not having to earn His love…it had piled up and only God could move it for me, push it off of my heart, and help me up.

Since then, whenever fear tries to creep back in, I hear God’s voice saying all those lovely words again and I remember that moment. When I told my mom about it she said, “That’s your Ebenezer.”  In the Bible, after God had granted victory to his people, Samuel set up a stone and called it “Ebenezer: God has helped us,” so they wouldn’t forget. The words of an old hymn say, “Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I’ve come.”  I will never forget, God: You see me, You know me, You love me, and You have helped me.

Praying in Color

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I bought a book recently that intrigued me and I love it.  It’s titled Praying in Color by Sybil Macbeth.1  In it, she describes a new way to pray, by drawing and/or doodling.  To some it may sound silly, but I tried it for the first time this morning and it was wonderful.

I’m sure you already know there are all sorts of learners: visual, auditory and kinetic/moving being the three main styles.  Some people learn best Continue reading →

I’m trying

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I started out for a walk this morning, camera and iPod in hand, but the little clouds of gnats everywhere eventually convinced me to head back to the house and try again later.  Instead, I sat on my parent’s porch in my new favorite spot, watching the busy flurry of birds at dad’s feeders and listening to their many different calls, along with the far-off mooing of a cow.

“I’m trying, God,” I prayed, “I’m trying to just be still and be with you.”  My thoughts started wandering to the things we did yesterday, my girls, the future, the things we’re planning to do today and so on.  I was frustrated with myself.  “I’m trying to just be still, God.  I’m here.”  It almost felt like he said, “What are you expecting to happen?”

“Well, I would love for you to help me stop thinking and just be.  I would love for you to tell me things.  I would love to feel your presence, feel closer to you.  I want to know you better, Papa, be closer to you.”   The quiet sound of the morning crickets and the busy birds continued.  Then I looked past the birds and saw the mountains behind, far off across the valley.  They are bluish-purple this morning with a crown of fluffy clouds resting on top, the sun lighting up patches here and there among cloud shadows.

A song came to mind, the words taken from Psalm 121.

“I lift my eyes to the hills, and I wonder, ‘from where comes my help?’
My help, it comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let you stumble, He will not let you fall,
The Lord is your keeper.
The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon at night,
The Lord will guard your life.”

Maybe sometimes it’s not the receiving of an amazing message from God that draws us close, maybe sometimes it’s just sitting there available.  Maybe it’s just remembering that He is my Maker, He is my Keeper, and enjoying the peace of that thought and truth.  He is with me, whether I hear his voice in my heart at this moment or not, whether I feel the emotional warmth of his nearness or not.  He is near.

I pictured Jesus sitting next to me and longed for Him to actually be there so I could lean against Him.

“I’m trying, God.  I want to be near You.  I want to hear Your voice.”

Well, that was awkward

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Last year I learned a painful lesson about listening to but not acting on those urgings from God about doing something for someone else.  I learned that putting off or doing less than He was asking me to was a surefire way to miss out on a blessing, cause someone else to miss out on a blessing, and definitely a way to pile on regret.

A patient was checking out at the doctor’s office and I felt very strongly that God wanted me to pray with her.  She was very ill, in a long battle with cancer, and was visibly weak and miserable.

I didn’t pray with her.  I did tell her that I would pray for her and that my heart went out to her.

The next week I found out that she died.

My heart hurt with regret and I told God I would listen in the future when He gave me such clear instructions to do something, even if it seemed odd or if I felt a little afraid of what others might think.

Today, I was sitting at McDonald’s eating a sandwich when I saw an older lady come in and sit down.  I had seen her walking the crosswalk outside as I drove in the parking lot and noticed she walked slowly and seemed a little weary.

She sat down in the booth next to mine, facing me, and when I looked up and saw her I am pretty sure I heard God tell me to offer to pray with her.  I instantly thought, “That’s just me thinking that because it would be nice.”  But the longer I sat there, the more I couldn’t get that idea out of my head and the stronger my heart began beating.  It’s almost as if God said to me, “you promised me last time that you would do as I asked. So here’s your chance.”

I was thinking that I had to get back to work, but decided to stop and talk with her first.  I threw my trash away and walked to her booth and said “Excuse me, I know you don’t know me, but I felt like I should come and say a prayer for you.  Would that be okay?”

She looked at me with kind of a half-smile and pulled away a little bit, saying nothing but “okay…okay…”  I said, “That’s okay, what is your name?  I’ll just pray for you today as I go on my way.”  Still she just looked incredibly uncomfortable and said only “okay…okay…”

I patted her shoulder and said, “It’s okay, God bless you today” and left.

I was so embarrassed and felt so silly.  I also had the thought that it was probably a pretty odd scene to the two ladies sitting right behind this awkward exchange.

But then I thought, who cares?  I promised God I would do what He said and I did what I thought He told me to do.  It did not turn out at all like I thought it might, but maybe the purpose of that prompting today was to test my obedience.  I don’t know that lady or her situation, but I did pray for her as I drove away.

It took me a while to get over my feeling of foolishness and I am still wondering if maybe it WAS just my idea to pray with her and not God telling me to do so.

I don’t think I’ll ever know, but I do know that it felt good to at least follow through on something God told me to do and not make an excuse this time.  Hopefully that is a step in the right direction!

Have you ever experienced something like this?  Done something you felt you should do and have the outcome be anything but what you expected?

True confessions

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Truth is…

I’ve seen that in many Facebook statuses of my younger friends.  They post something on a friend’s wall saying things like “truth is you’re my best friend and I’d be lost without you” or “truth is no one understands me like you do”, etc.

The Bible says confess to each other and you will be healed. (James 5:16)

So here goes:

Truth is I do not have it all together.

Some of you who know me may be thinking with a smirk on your face, “Tell me something I don’t already know!”

Truth is sometimes I don’t blog what’s in my heart and mind because I’m afraid it might discourage someone who goes to my church, Continue reading →

Thankfulness = Trust?

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What has the power to turn a heart’s gaze to hope, peel away a complaining attitude, and open the door for peace?

Thankfulness.

Being thankful shows self-pity the door and gives contentment the best seat in the house.

Even in the most meager, terrible, or desperate circumstances we can choose to be thankful for something…even everything.

When I read the book “The Hiding Place” about Betsy and Corrie Ten Boom’s experience in a Nazi concentration camp during the holocaust, I was moved and humbled by Betsy’s constant thankfulness.  In the face of cruelty and horrendous day-to-day living conditions, she kept her face turned toward Jesus in hope.  She didn’t complain but instead kept thanking God for everything, much to the amazement of her sister Corrie, who admitted sometimes she wondered if her sister was from another planet.

One particular situation stands out in my memory:   Continue reading →

He looks in love

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In this life, I’ll never be able to comprehend how God can know each person on this earth intimately and be involved in each life.  He has plans for each and every one.  He hears every prayer.  He sees each heart, however full of light or darkened still in shadows.

How did He create the universe, which keeps spreading out and expanding into space? Where is the edge of that space? How does He create each and every person uniquely different from all others who live or have lived?

There are just some things beyond our human understanding.  A big part of believing in God and following Jesus is accepting the mystery of who He is.  I do believe with every one of my brain cells and all my heart that He is good.  He sees every one of us and He looks in love.

I work in a doctor’s office and encounter all sorts of people every day – from babies to the elderly, thriving or barely making it, happy or crabby, you name it.

The other day a very thin woman and her husband walked slowly and quietly to the check out desk after seeing the doctor.   Continue reading →