Tag Archives: relationship

When You Get There

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I still smile and laugh to myself when I remember our youngest girl, Kristine, at the age of 4, telling me that she didn’t want to grow up.  When I asked her why not she answered, “I don’t know how to grocery shop.  I don’t know how to drive.”

I giggled and said, “It’s okay, when you get older you’ll learn those things.  You don’t have to worry about that right now.  You’ll know when you get there.”

“Well I don’t want to be a mommy.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know how to take care of babies!”

long-road-walking-walk-score-photoI think I eventually convinced her that although she didn’t know at the age of 4 what she would need to know 15-20 years down the road it was okay.  She wasn’t supposed to.  It would come later.  I tried to help her see that growing up was fun and good, that she would like it and that it’s just what happens naturally to all of us.

God brought this memory front and center this morning and showed me that I do this all the time; I look waaaay down the road and panic thinking “I don’t know how do those things!”  In my heart I try to jump way ahead and figure everything out, I guess so I’ll feel I have some minute amount of control over my life and the outcomes.   The “what ifs” pile up into needless anxiety.

I feel like He’s saying to me this morning, “You don’t have to know what to do when and if that time comes because when you get there, you’ll know.  I’ll show you.  I’ll teach you.  Why are you worrying about that now?” Continue reading →

Another chance

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As we sat outside Starbucks on the patio, enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze, we laughed and laughed.  Rather than feeling awkward like I feared it might be, I was actually completely at ease and felt like I did the last time I got to be with these friends.  “How long has it been?” we asked each other.  “16 years?  That doesn’t seem possible!”   We took turns catching each other up, going back to 16 years ago and giving the nutshell version of life for us since then.  So much has happened since we lost touch with each other – much blessing, much hurt and growing.

I actually didn’t think this day would ever happen.  The friends I’m talking about were very close and dear friends to John and I when we were first married.  We shared community and prayer like never before with them and several other couples in our first small group experience.  We spent lots of time together, talking, laughing, walking, praying, sharing.  A few years into this great friendship, John and I moved to Florida to work in a church there.  Coming back to visit one summer was fun, but already felt a little different.  You know how things change in a relationship when you’re not able to spend much time together.  You tell yourself that it will probably never be quite like it was.

God began leading us different ways, as if I saw my special friend and her husband walking farther and farther away from me until I couldn’t see them at all.   Life has a way of becoming so busy that unless we’re really intentional about staying in touch with people, it just doesn’t happen.  We lost touch.  Continue reading →

No Agenda

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Today I met Jesus for lunch.  I had no plans and was thinking of what to do when I heard him suggest it to my heart.  I gladly went to one of my favorite nearby eateries and sat down, imagining Him seated across from me.  I sat quietly and prayed silently, “Here I am.  I’m just going to be quiet so you can talk today.”  I could almost see him smile at me.  I smiled to myself and waited some more.  He just kept smiling.  I felt such peace and contentment.  I thought about lunch yesterday, how I had met two girlfriends and how much fun it was to visit with them.  We didn’t need to talk about church stuff or conflict or issues, we just wanted to be together and it was wonderful.  As I thought about that, I heard Jesus say, “That’s how I feel.  I’m just glad you wanted to be with me.  I have no agenda today.  I just want to spend time with you.”  The love in His words overwhelmed me.  What freedom!  “You mean sometimes we can just be – I don’t need to pray anything.  I can just sit here and enjoy You being here?”   Jesus smiled again.    Thinking about it now still moves me.  How many times do I come to Him with a long list of prayer requests or guilt over the fact that I haven’t actually said the names of everyone on my list out loud so he can answer my prayers?   How often do I feel He has a big agenda for our times together, that it’s always going to be a time to discipline me or train me?

Could it really be okay to just sit in his arms or across a table from Him and let Him love me?   Continue reading →

Love

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“Could it really be that simple?”  I thought as I read “The Shack”*.  Jesus had just told the main character that the expectations put on us as believers in this world are not from God – that all we need to do is to love without agenda.  Love.  Just love.  Love God.  Love people.

What a freeing thought!   It bears up to thorough scrutiny, too, aligning with what God’s Word tells us to do and with all that Jesus taught.  To love is to accomplish everything else that God wants from us: bringing others to Him in relationship, helping people in need, maintaining and thriving in relationship to other people, knowing and enjoying closeness with our Creator, having fulfillment and purpose in this life, and more.   God is love.  He’s relational.  Interacting and relating are what He’s all about.  After all, He created people to have relationship with them, to interact, to love them and be loved by them… by us.

Whatever you’re about today, however long your task list, however heavy the load of guilt that you’ve piled upon yourself as you try and be a “good Christian”, let it go and just love.

I am remembering a song my parents taught me as a child

Tell me, Mimi, do you love Jesus?
Oh yes I love Jesus….

Tell me why do you love Jesus?
Because He first loved me.

*The Shack, by William P. Young