One of my favorite classes in college was called “Interpersonal Relationships”.  It was taught by a brilliant, albeit slightly odd, professor with frizzy hair and a laugh that sounded like a happy donkey braying.  For two hours he’d lay out nuggets of wisdom before us: exploring relationships, behavior, interactions with others, and more.  I soaked it up like a sponge.  I wish I still had the notebook from that class.  (Maybe I do – I just don’t know where it is.)  We had a short dinner break, then would come back for the last two hours to practice what we’d been learning by role playing in front of a video camera, then watching our “performance” with Dr. Farmen critiquing and giving feedback.  I have used so much of what I learned in that class all throughout my life.  I’m thankful to Dr. Farmen for pushing us, challenging us, and really teaching us more about people and why they behave the way they do.

One of the jewels he brought out in lecture one night was the idea of a “self-fulfilling prophecy”.  This is when something you think about someone affects the way you behave toward that person, which actually makes them more like the label you’ve given them.  For example, if a teacher labels a child a “trouble maker” then his/her behavior will (even subconsciously) communicate that label and cause the child to be even more a trouble maker.  I’ve seen that happen in the schools where I used to work, even with my own daughter.  One teacher she had saw her “spunk” and overly active little self as a real negative Continue reading →