Front and Center

My cat Rocky laying right in front of the computer monitor, my youngest doing hand stands during commercials when we watch TV, the high school crossing guard waving his flourescent orange wands at me to stop, the ding of my phone notifying me I have a text message, my boss as he gives me a task at work – all want my attention.  For the moment, it’s as if each of them is saying “Hey!  Look at me, front and center here.”  We all need attention, some more than others.

God revealed to me (and it’s not the first time) ever so lovingly but firmly that I tend to seek too much attention for myself or be concerned that other people think well of me.  Facebook is one thing that makes this difficult.  It’s a treasure trove of attention:  people responding to things I say, to pictures I post, to jokes and videos I share.  People commenting about me or my life, interacting with me, giving me virtual pats on the back.  Even my blog brings me attention in a round about way.

When God showed me an ugly, childish attitude that was bubbling up this morning I was embarrassed and frustrated and it comes from being too preoccupied with myself.  Continue reading

On being dirty and knowing it

As part of my morning routine, I’m reading a devotional book in which there is an excerpt from one of C.S. Lewis’ books for each day.  They’re short and they’re all from books he wrote about faith…very interesting.  Sometimes they’re pretty deep for 6 in the morning, but most of the time they open my eyes to new ways of understanding this Christian journey I’m on.

Today’s was about how we view ourselves as good, bad or otherwise.  A person who has begun to be cleansed/changed by God begins to see more and more how bad they really are/were.  But a person who hasn’t begun that process has no frame of reference for good or bad and thinks they’re pretty good.  It’s a little confusing but I thought of this illustration:  there have been times when I’ve cleaned a spot on the carpet where someone spilled something or one of the animals didn’t quite make it outside and afterward the spot I cleaned is noticeably brighter and cleaner than the rest of the surrounding carpet.  It’s only then that I realize how dirty the whole carpet must be!  Yikes.

spotlightOr think of yourself wearing black clothes in a moderately dark room.  You could be covered in lint and “fuzzies” but none really show because of your dim surroundings.  Walk into a bright spotlight, like the ones they use in a play, and suddenly every little speck, hair or particle is visible to everyone.  Flaws and smudges you didn’t even realize were there are suddenly glaringly obvious.

As we grow closer to and more like Jesus, allowing God to prune away more and more of our old sinful selves, we realize what sad shape we were in and would still be in if it weren’t for his love and grace!   The more he washes us the more we realize we need to be washed.  Does that make sense? Continue reading