God said, “I’ve got this”

My girls are very often on my mind and in my heart, just like every mom, I’m sure.  Our roles have shifted some now that they’re young women and more on their own, but I still hope they are okay and want things to work well for them.  Whenever I start fretting about it or something that’s going on, God reminds me to stop it.  He says to me, for the upteenth time, “I’ve got this, Mimi. I can take care of your girls.”

He told me that again Monday morning as I was getting up and getting ready for work.  Thinking about my daughter, Kaitlin, I was praying for her and God told me to just keep trusting Him to guide her and be with her.

Well, a few hours later at work I got a phone call that she had been in a car accident on the highway and was on her way to the hospital.  Driving 65 mph, she spun on ice, ending up horizontal to traffic, nearly got hit by a semi while spinning, then got crunched by a car on her side of her car.  Thankfully and amazingly, she ended up with only a cut on her head, no broken bones, no other serious injuries.  Two women stopped immediately to see if she was okay.  One called us, the other one who was an EMT, got into Kaitlin’s car with her, laid her back in her seat, got a towel for her cut, and stayed with her until the ambulance came.

Whenever I think about those two ladies, I want to cry and hug them and thank them but I’ll never know who they are.  I couldn’t be with her, but God was with her, sending those two sweet strangers to help.  He had it under control, even without my help.

I really have felt utterly helpless this week as I’ve heard more about the accident.  I have never wished so strongly that I could teleport to where she was.  My heart ached.  I wasn’t able to help her at all or be with her at all, but others were and she is doing fine. God keeps telling me, “Look how I took care of her.  I told you, you can trust me.”  She’s navigating through it all and growing up a lot in the process, I think.

God is able.  God is there.  He is good and loving.

Could I say those things if Kaitlin had died in the accident?  Or she had been paralyzed? In time, I believe I could, because it’s true.

I believe that when bad or scary things happen to those we love, God has not turned his head but is with them, very near.

Whatever the outcome, I believe He works things for good for those who love Him, and says to us when we start getting anxious, “You can trust me. I’ve got this.”

Trust God, my friends,
    and always tell him
each one of your concerns.
    God is our place of safety. Psalm 62:8 CEV

Well, that was awkward

Last year I learned a painful lesson about listening to but not acting on those urgings from God about doing something for someone else.  I learned that putting off or doing less than He was asking me to was a surefire way to miss out on a blessing, cause someone else to miss out on a blessing, and definitely a way to pile on regret.

A patient was checking out at the doctor’s office and I felt very strongly that God wanted me to pray with her.  She was very ill, in a long battle with cancer, and was visibly weak and miserable.

I didn’t pray with her.  I did tell her that I would pray for her and that my heart went out to her.

The next week I found out that she died.

My heart hurt with regret and I told God I would listen in the future when He gave me such clear instructions to do something, even if it seemed odd or if I felt a little afraid of what others might think.

Today, I was sitting at McDonald’s eating a sandwich when I saw an older lady come in and sit down.  I had seen her walking the crosswalk outside as I drove in the parking lot and noticed she walked slowly and seemed a little weary.

She sat down in the booth next to mine, facing me, and when I looked up and saw her I am pretty sure I heard God tell me to offer to pray with her.  I instantly thought, “That’s just me thinking that because it would be nice.”  But the longer I sat there, the more I couldn’t get that idea out of my head and the stronger my heart began beating.  It’s almost as if God said to me, “you promised me last time that you would do as I asked. So here’s your chance.”

I was thinking that I had to get back to work, but decided to stop and talk with her first.  I threw my trash away and walked to her booth and said “Excuse me, I know you don’t know me, but I felt like I should come and say a prayer for you.  Would that be okay?”

She looked at me with kind of a half-smile and pulled away a little bit, saying nothing but “okay…okay…”  I said, “That’s okay, what is your name?  I’ll just pray for you today as I go on my way.”  Still she just looked incredibly uncomfortable and said only “okay…okay…”

I patted her shoulder and said, “It’s okay, God bless you today” and left.

I was so embarrassed and felt so silly.  I also had the thought that it was probably a pretty odd scene to the two ladies sitting right behind this awkward exchange.

But then I thought, who cares?  I promised God I would do what He said and I did what I thought He told me to do.  It did not turn out at all like I thought it might, but maybe the purpose of that prompting today was to test my obedience.  I don’t know that lady or her situation, but I did pray for her as I drove away.

It took me a while to get over my feeling of foolishness and I am still wondering if maybe it WAS just my idea to pray with her and not God telling me to do so.

I don’t think I’ll ever know, but I do know that it felt good to at least follow through on something God told me to do and not make an excuse this time.  Hopefully that is a step in the right direction!

Have you ever experienced something like this?  Done something you felt you should do and have the outcome be anything but what you expected?

You won’t believe what happened to me yesterday

I was standing in the checkout line at Wal-Mart yesterday — had my things on the little conveyor belt, waiting patiently.  There was an older lady in front of me that kept looking back at me.  I smiled and then looked the other way, but she kept staring.  It became pretty awkward.  She had a lot of stuff and it wasn’t long before I’d already scanned every headline of the magazines in our aisle and looked at every package of beef jerky and candy bar 3-4 times.

Finally she actually walked back to where I stood in line and she said, almost tearfully, “I apologize for staring, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.  You just look so much like my daughter, who died not too long ago. I can’t take my eyes off you.”  I wasn’t expecting that and I’m sure my facial expression was comical.  She quickly opened her wallet and pulled out a photo of her daughter who’d died. I honestly didn’t see any resemblance but she seemed so moved.  We chatted a little bit while her groceries were rung up.

This is the crazy part: She then said to me, “I’m sorry, I have to ask you. Would you mind, as I leave the supermarket here, would you mind saying ‘Goodbye mom’ to me? I, I know it’s a strange request but it would mean so much to me to hear it.” My stomach did one of those flip-flops when something just plain weird happens, but I felt sorry for her so I said “uh…okay.” And so, she got her groceries all checked out and as she went out the door she waved at me.  I said sheepishly and not very loudly, “Goodbye mom”.  She smiled and left and I was very relieved.  Strange…

The cashier rang up my few things as I waited for the total.   She smiled at me very warmly and said, “That’ll be four hundred and seventy-nine dollars.” “WHAT?! There must be a mistake. How in the world did you get that total from these few things?” She replied, “Well, you’re also paying for the groceries for your mother. She told me you’d take care of the bill for her.”  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  “That’s not my mother!!” I said as my heart started beating faster and realization of the lady’s con job swept over me.

The confused cashier said, “But I distinctly heard you say as she left the store ‘Goodbye Mom’!” I looked frantically out into the parking lot and saw she was still just getting into her car – so I bolted.  I left my stuff at the register and ran out there as fast as I could.  She saw me coming and tried to shut the door really fast but a little bit of her leg was still sticking out of the door when I got there.   I grabbed her leg and started PULLING it!  No way was I letting go of this lady!  I wasn’t paying over 400 bucks for her stuff!  I kept pulling her leg and pulling…

Just like I’m pulling yours right now…