Dusting off my happiness

Looking through old posts on this blog, which was started quite a long time ago, is like looking through my parents’ old photo albums when I visit their house. I read stories I wrote about our parenting adventure that I had forgotten, lessons I’ve learned in life and keep relearning. I find memories, some that make me laugh, some that give me a lump in my throat, that have gotten covered up by others falling on top of them in my mind like stacks of papers getting dusty from no one shuffling through them for a while. Sometimes I read what I wrote and think, “Wow, was that me writing that?” I haven’t written for a long time and miss it. It helps me process what I’m feeling, thinking and learning, even though apparently I forget those things before too long.

For reasons I won’t go into detail explaining, the past 9-10 years were peppered with chronic stress and anxiety, which caused some depression, and often numbness. Continue reading

Rest for the weary with a side of blessings

I read a prayer request sent to our office from one of our Indiana pastors yesterday.  He asked us to pray for his church and as I read his words I could relate to each and every one of them:

“People haven’t been able to identify it, they just feel blah, worn down, basically “weary”.  Weary from life struggles.  Weary from busyness.  Weary from trying to do good following Christ.  Weary from doing bad (aka…sin).  Weary from trying harder. Weary from failing… Just….weary.”

I think some of this could be a spiritual struggle, as the pastor shared with us, but I believe some of it is just life.  Sometimes life makes us tired.  Enduring and persevering are never a walk in the park – it’s work!  God enables us and strengthens us, but He doesn’t necessarily make it easy and that’s for our good even though it doesn’t usually feel like it.

Before you read on, please know the only reason I’m sharing this story is so that God will be glorified for what He’s done!  I’m not seeking pity or handouts – haha – but feel I need to share specifically enough to allow you to feel the impact of how God was there for us recently.  Okay, you can keep reading now…

Continue reading

Fighter

I’ve talked so much about Zumba class and how much I love it that my friends and family are probably tired of hearing it.  Let me just say that God brought it to me when I needed an outlet, some fun, some community, and of course some exercise.

Right now one of the songs we dance/exercise to is Christina Aguilera’s song “Fighter.”  We do some kickboxing during the chorus:

It makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Christina Aguilera “Fighter” ©2003

She’s singing about someone who cheated on her and did her wrong, but I when I hear those words I usually think of something I’m struggling with (or friends and family are facing) like temptation, feeling down, disappointment, challenges, etc.  Yesterday I was thinking about cancer.  Continue reading

Good Pain

One of the odd things about my breast cancer, when I discovered it almost 7 years ago, was that I had no symptoms other than the tiny lump I had found by pressing with my hand one morning.  I told my surgeon, puzzled, “But I don’t feel sick, I haven’t had any other problems.”  He said, “You wouldn’t at this point.  Cancer is simply new cell growth in a place where it’s not supposed to be.  So unless it had grown very large you wouldn’t otherwise know it was there.”  What a sneaky disease.  I’m so thankful I found it when I did.

No one wants to live with ongoing pain, although some unfortunately do.  It’s a bother.  It hurts.  It disrupts our usual way of life and keep us from doing the things we need to or want to do.  I believe it would actually be worse to live without it.  Continue reading

Find Rest

Where can we find it?

Elusive, so temporary, fleeting – the rest the world offers.

A vacation or day to do nothing doesn’t really offer the true rest my heart needs.

Can I find rest in a time of uncertainty, stress, concerns that pile up?  Jesus said I can.   The rest He’s offering is a deep, spiritual, soul-filling, healing rest and I want it.  As I drive home today I’m going to spill it all out to Him.  He said it was okay!

He said, “Come.”  I’m coming.

He said, “all you who are weary.”  I’m weary.

He said, “you who are heavy laden.”  I feel weighed down by a lot of thoughts, questions, concerns, and some hurt in my heart.

He said, “Come and learn of me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.”  I can even hear Him say, “I won’t belittle you for coming, I won’t tell you to just deal with it, I won’t turn you away even if you come again and again.”

He gave His word:  “you will find rest.”  Not you just might find rest, but you WILL.  I need it, Lord.  Please keep your word.  Not only for me but for those I love, those on my heart.  Please help us to find your rest.

(This promise is found in Matthew 11:28)

Just Do It

nike-just-do-it

The famous Nike slogan “Just Do It”, coined by Dan Wieden, co-founder of the advertising agency Wieden+Kennedy, was considered one of the top ad slogans of the 20th century.  I’m adopting it as my personal slogan.  The tricky thing is that I have a lifetime membership in “Procrastinators Anonymous” (I think we’re having a meeting tomorrow, maybe).  For some reason I avoid tasks that seem unpleasant or difficult in the attempt to have peace, comfort, or time to partake in some other more enjoyable activity, only to find that I feel more stressed and restless.

Have you ever stood in a kitchen with dirty dishes stacked precariously high, piles of laundry looming, kids messing around when they’re supposed to be doing homework, stacks of clean clothes yet to be put away, bills to pay, a closet to organize, dinner to fix…?  You get the picture.  It seems much easier in those times for me to just to try and forget all I have to do as I get a diet coke and go sit down.  However, it’s all still there when my moment of intentional oblivion is over.  My mom used to tell me, just start on ONE thing.  Just do it.  Continue reading