Tag Archives: struggle

The living what I blog phenomenon

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I am having to read my own words and practice them today…the ones in that last post about being thankful and how it changes our perspective and attitude?

Almost without fail, I will blog about something and then very soon after have to practice what I preach, like my own words get bounced back at me, or like I’m being tested to see if I will live what I’m learning.

Lord, help me to keep a thankful heart today.  I can feel the enemy prowling around, like he always does, seeking a way to devour.  Set my eyes on you, be near me today.

Let all that I am praise the LORD; 
      with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. 
 2 Let all that I am praise the LORD; 
      may I never forget the good things he does for me. 
 3 He forgives all my sins 
      and heals all my diseases. 
 4 He redeems me from death 
      and crowns me with love and tender mercies. 
 5 He fills my life with good things. 
      My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!  Psalm 103:1-5 NLT

All of us little chicks

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When John and I got married, we started walking this narrow path together.  Little by little God added to our group and soon we had three little girls following along.  Sometimes we’d hold hands, sometimes they’d skip along on their own.  As they grew, becoming more independent, occasionally one might fall back a little, walking at a distance from the rest of us.   If one stumbled or got hurt, John and I were quick to help them up.   We’ve done our best to walk in a way that helps them stay the course and not be led astray.   I know Jesus is always with us, but it’s been nice to have the company of each other as we journey along, especially when one of us is having a hard time.

The last few years and especially in the last few months that image of us all walking this road together has become so vivid in my mind and it comforts me.  There have been times when John and I have faltered Continue reading →

Faith Fatigue

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Sometimes cheerleaders need a cheerleader themselves.  Sometimes those who are often strong need someone strong.  Sometimes those with deep convictions need reassurance.  Even those with strong faith face times when it’s harder to believe, or at least harder to stand up tall and declare with confidence that God is at work.   Getting through life sometimes feels like I’m a scrawny rookie football player trying to make it past a line of huge linesmen pumped up on adrenaline and ready to take me down.  As I run I get bumped from side to side, tripped, flipped over, even knocked flat once in a while.  When that happens there are times I jump up, impassioned, fueled and motivated to run even harder.  Then there are times when I just lay there looking up at the sky.

I was looking up at the sky today.   Continue reading →

TGYWTT

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This morning I realized that I forgot Thankful Thursday again!  So instead of TGIF, today I say TGYWTT:  Thank God Yesterday Was Thankful Thursday.

This time I want to thank God for the things I usually think of as negative or unwanted in my life.  I know He uses everything to help us grow, to strengthen us, to keep us humble, to help us remain desperate for Him.  Thanking God even for the awful things you encounter is a way of saying “I trust You, God, and still believe that you’re good.  I believe what you said about causing all things to work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)  Like the Psalmist said in chapter 118, “Thank God because he’s good, because his love never quits.” (The Msg)  I thank God because He’s good and that never changes….so I can always be thankful.

As a follower of Jesus I say that I’m content whatever comes my way because my life belongs to Him and I trust Him.  Can I take it a step further and actually be thankful for the hard stuff that comes my way?  Sometimes I can.  I try to.  I guess that’s what the song means that says “we bring a sacrifice of praise.”  Being thankful can actually feel like sacrifice.   We may not feel thankful but we choose to be.  So here goes… Continue reading →

Final Scene

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I’ve heard lots of songs, read lots of blog posts, and had lots of conversations with people lately about disappointment, having to resort to Plan B, C or D, disillusionment over life not turning out the way we expected it to, and wondering why God doesn’t stop bad things from happening or doesn’t answer prayer how we think He should.  It has made me wonder – are people feeling like that more than before?  Why?  Or am I just noticing it more because I’ve felt like that this year? Continue reading →

So…

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There have been lots of thoughts churning in my head the last few days – of course when are there NOT lots of thoughts churning in there?  Anyway, here is a window into my crowded head if you’re so inclined to read on:

I think part of my feeling distant from God lately is that I’ve been angry with Him – angry that He hasn’t answered prayers the way I thought.  I mean, did he even take into consideration the five point argument I shared with Him about why my way was good?  And how about that time-table of His?  Why do I think that if something doesn’t happen in a few weeks or even months that it means God isn’t there or doesn’t care?  That is pretty silly.  As much as I thought I was resisting the enemy, I had fallen prey again to his ploy of self-pity and forgetfulness.

Forgetfulness?  About all God has done in my life and in the lives of those around me.  What other proof do I need that He is there and active in our lives?  That He really does care about each of us in love.   There are a number of Bible verses that tell God’s people to recall the things God has done throughout their lives so they won’t lose hope, so they will stay on track, so they will be thankful.  I’ve been forgetting to remember. Continue reading →

Where else could I go?

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It was 2:42 a.m. and I was getting up once again (third time) to see what my girls were up to.  Kaitlin almost always goes to bed at a decent hour, that blessed child.  Krissy was finally in bed but had fallen asleep with her lights on.  I turned them off and closed her door.  I was tempted to hug her while she lay there sleeping.  If I can’t get hugs from her when she’s awake maybe I can steal some.  I didn’t.  Kimmi was finally home but was doing laundry and taking things to her car!  Today, she and her sister are moving to their apartment for the summer.   Why is it a mom can’t sleep unless she knows all the girls are settled and resting?  It wears me out!  I laid back down unable to go back to sleep, my mind racing through concerns, thoughts, questions, frustrations, more questions, and just plain exhaustion.  Fatigue always intensifies emotion for me, too.

When I’m tired, the lying voice of the enemy is so much harder to ignore.  My heart strained to hear God’s voice instead.  I called out through quiet tears for some peace, some relief from hurt, a sense of His love.  The room seemed completely empty.  I felt empty, my stomach still tight in a knot.  I laid on my side looking at the clock.  3:51 a.m.  Continue reading →

Re-run

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I posted this on my old xanga blog once and post it now for a good friend who could use a little carrying right now.

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Sometime “Mutts” just makes me grin, sometimes is makes me laugh out loud.  This one tugged at my heart as I imagined myself as the puppy and the man as Jesus.

Let Him carry you.  Don’t struggle and don’t leap out of his arms onto the hot sand.  We may feel that in our struggles God is far away.  I think in those times He’s actually closer – we just get caught up in our pain, distress, or anxiety and become less aware of Him.  Think about it.  When a little child is hurt badly they are so absorbed in the hurt and the fear that it takes some time to console them.  “I’m here” we tell them over and over.  “It’s okay.”  Sometimes we even have to take their little tear-stained face in our hands and physically turn their eyes to see us.

Jesus said He will never leave me or forsake me.  I believe Him.

You are my strong shield, and I trust you completely.

You have helped me, and I will celebrate and thank you in song.

You give strength to your people, LORD,

You save and protect your chosen ones.

Come save us and bless us.

Be our shepherd and always carry us in your arms.    Psalm 28:7-9  CEV