Tag Archives: surgery

Surgery

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“It seems when you know you’re not supposed to eat or drink you feel especially hungry and thirsty,” I thought to myself as I sat in the pre-op chair, IV taped to my hand, footy-covered feet dangling.  My pre-operative ensemble was complete with gown that opens in the back, robe over my shoulders, and adorable shower cap on my head, all hair tucked inside.  This combined with the no makeup or jewelry, no hair product guidelines made for what must have been a stunning look.  The nurses, who were very caring and kind, had me all ready to go, now we just had to wait for the surgeon to arrive.

1:20, they said, as John and I looked to see what time it was.  Should be in about 20 minutes.  20 minutes, 30, 40 minutes went by and my feet were still dangling, stomach still growling, nerves a little on edge.  We were in a small dimly-lit, quiet, room watching blurred green forms of the nurses and workers in scrubs pass by the door’s frosted full-length window.  Finally, my doctor came in!

He was friendly, confident, quick, professional, and ready to get to the task at hand, which was to perform some reconstructive work on some failed reconstructive work from my cancer episode almost 10 years ago.  I have been more than ready to have this done for several years and finally was getting to it.

Before surgery they always mark on you so they won’t operate on the wrong body part, which is totally fine with me!  It was a little awkward and funny, however, Continue reading →

He was there

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I got my diagnosis on my mom’s birthday.  That just doesn’t seem right does it?  My surgery was that Friday, only five days later.  What a whirlwind week it was.  My parents dropped everything and drove to St. Louis to be with us, even though my dad was a pastor with a busy schedule.  I don’t remember how many days I had to stay in the hospital, I think only two.  I just remember with clarity an early morning blood draw to check my white cell count to see if I could go home.

Shortly after the lab tech left the room, my dad walked in.  He was carrying his garment bag and told me he was about to go back home but wanted to come see me first.  While he was with me, my surgeon, Dr. Billy, came in to tell me that my levels were low and I was going to have to stay longer in the hospital.  My heart sunk into a fearful thought that there might be more cancer.  Then Dr. Billy noticed they had drawn blood out of the arm that had an IV and it had diluted the blood sample.  He had them come back in and draw from my other arm, it was okay, and I was able to go home!

It may not sound like a big deal, but it helped so much that my dad was there.  I didn’t have to be alone through that brief unsettling moment.  He was thinking of me that morning and wanted me to know.  He was there because he loves me.  What did I do to get my dad to love me? Continue reading →

Faith Fatigue

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Sometimes cheerleaders need a cheerleader themselves.  Sometimes those who are often strong need someone strong.  Sometimes those with deep convictions need reassurance.  Even those with strong faith face times when it’s harder to believe, or at least harder to stand up tall and declare with confidence that God is at work.   Getting through life sometimes feels like I’m a scrawny rookie football player trying to make it past a line of huge linesmen pumped up on adrenaline and ready to take me down.  As I run I get bumped from side to side, tripped, flipped over, even knocked flat once in a while.  When that happens there are times I jump up, impassioned, fueled and motivated to run even harder.  Then there are times when I just lay there looking up at the sky.

I was looking up at the sky today.   Continue reading →

Wise words from Grandma

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comfortingIn an email conversation with my dad this morning, he reminded me of a time that was tough in my mom’s life (physically at least).  She had all three of us by C-section and shortly after my little brother was born she had to have her gall bladder removed!  This was back when they didn’t do the tiny little belly button incisions.  She was hurting.  My grandmother, her mother-in-law, told her during that time, “When you’re hurting, somebody needs you.”  This took my mom aback.  Someone needs me?  I’m hurting here!  I’m the one who just had two surgeries almost back to back.  Nonetheless, during my mom’s hospital stay she encountered another patient, a lady who was hurting in her heart, not just her body.  God used Mom to encourage and bless that lady.  It may not have happened if Mom’s heart hadn’t been opened to the possibility by grandma’s wise words.

Wow – this is good truth!  One of the enemy’s biggest tactics to mess me up is self-pity and self-absorption.  There’s no better way to counter that attack, no better way to get your mind off of yourself and your hurts than to look for someone who needs you, someone you can bless or encourage or serve.

It seems that getting absorbed in ourselves and our pain actually multiplies the pain.  What seems to be a help becomes a hindrance.

We’re going through some refining big-time these days, my family and my church family.  We’ve got to lean into it, even when it hurts, because it’s for our good.   Then we need to realize that it’s not only for our good, but so we can be better at reaching to people who don’t know God or His love yet.  It’s not about us.

So I say to the Klotz family and to the New Life family, “When you’re hurting, somebody needs you.”  Look outwardly, strain your necks and hearts to see who you can love on and encourage today, lean into the refining but then keep looking at God and the purpose of it all:  to make us more like Him so we can bring more of his lost kids back to Him.

And thanks, Grandma.

Re: Ta-tas and such

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WARNING TO MALE READERS:  This post contains much estrogen-saturated material and may not be suitable for the male Psyche.  At the very least, a male reader may experience the WTMI (way too much information) effect after only a few lines.  Hey, I warned you.

A blog is for my thoughts and feelings, right?  And hey, this is my blog, so I’m going to blog about some personal stuff because it’s been on my mind so much the last few days.

It’s amazing how our self-image can be so tied up with our bodies.  I was born a “big-boned” girl and at the ripe old age of 9 months had rolls on my thighs that could cut off my parents’ finger circulation as they tried to change my diapers.  Puberty gave the thighs a come-back and I’ve been less than thrilled about the lower half of my body every since.  My sister and I used to joke that it would sure be nice if you could suck in your thighs like you suck in your belly.

I’ve heard there are two basic body shapes:  apples and pears.  I don’t know who came up with the fruit idea but it kind of makes sense if you look around you.  Apples have thin little legs, but tend to gain weight on top, either having round bellies or big chests.  Pears, like me, tend to be smaller on top but gain weight/hold weight in the lower half of the body more.  Invariably when I exercised more and watched what I ate more, my chest was the first to go.  Of all places I was NOT heavily endowed that was it, so the injustice stung all the more.   AND after breastfeeding all three of my girls, which I am so glad I did, what little I had became like deflated balloons or little empty tube socks.  I’m just sayin’.   Continue reading →