Tag Archives: worry

Lift Your Feet

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Have you noticed at times a specific theme is repeating in your heart and life, a lesson that God is really wanting you to grasp? Or maybe He gives you a word for a time to keep in mind, to motivate and center yourself. Two themes that kept coming to mind for me in the last few years are “Hold loosely the things of this life” and “Lift your feet.” That second one might sound funny so let me describe the imagery that came with the words.

Imagine you are in the middle of a wide, swiftly moving river and you can just touch the bottom with your feet. When you try to walk through the water it rushes around your body and legs so you lean forward to try and make headway. It’s slow going for you, especially if you lose your footing and get pushed back. Depending on how far you want to go, it will get pretty tiring. The current is so strong that if you were to lower yourself into the water and lift your feet, the water would carry you along for miles.

So often, while trying to keep control of things it feels like I’m trying to run through chest-high water that’s surging in the other direction. And at times it even seems like the river is getting wider as I go so that I’m not any closer to reaching the edge than when I started. I wear myself out, anxiety rising like water up to my chin because I believe I have to figure out solutions or fix situations that are beyond my limited strength, wisdom, knowledge, or perspective. I guess the most basic description of this mindset is forgetting that God is in control and I am not (and don’t have to be!).

I believe God was telling me, and still does, to stop striving against the flow and lift my feet. I need to surrender to the current of the river of his Holy Spirit and go where He takes me. Of course, this requires trusting that He is good and cares about me and won’t send me plunging over the edge of Niagara Falls!

Jesus said that if we’re weary, we should come to Him. He will give us rest and help bear the burdens (Matthew 11:28). He also said not to worry about tomorrow but to trust God as our loving Father who cares about us (Matt. 6:25-34). He said that the Holy Spirit would be with us, guiding, teaching, strengthening and comforting us (John 14:15-17, 26). The most wonderful promise is that He will be with us until the end of time (Matt. 28:20).

Maybe He’s saying these kinds of things to you right now, “Stop struggling. The current is my Spirit. I’ve got you. I won’t ever leave you to drift or drown. Lean back, float, rest. You can let go. I love you. Lift your feet.”

“Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message paraphrase

The unused gift

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They say opposites attract. Well, I wouldn’t say my husband is my opposite, but there are definitely some big differences in the way he and I think and operate. For example, I like to process my thoughts and feelings out loud, whereas John processes things inwardly. Mimi = many words, John = few words.

I’m an optimist and idealist, lover of happy endings.  He is practical and realistic.

He’s a big picture kind of thinker, I’m into details.  He dreams about where he wants to go, I want to know how it’s going to work or happen. What’s the plan, man.

However, one of the most glaring differences became evident a few years ago. Continue reading →

God said, “I’ve got this”

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My girls are very often on my mind and in my heart, just like every mom, I’m sure.  Our roles have shifted some now that they’re young women and more on their own, but I still hope they are okay and want things to work well for them.  Whenever I start fretting about it or something that’s going on, God reminds me to stop it.  He says to me, for the upteenth time, “I’ve got this, Mimi. I can take care of your girls.”

He told me that again Monday morning as I was getting up and getting ready for work.  Thinking about my daughter, Kaitlin, I was praying for her and God told me to just keep trusting Him to guide her and be with her.

Well, a few hours later at work I got a phone call that she had been in a car accident on the highway and was on her way to the hospital.  Driving 65 mph, she spun on ice, ending up horizontal to traffic, nearly got hit by a semi while spinning, then got crunched by a car on her side of her car.  Thankfully and amazingly, she ended up with only a cut on her head, no broken bones, no other serious injuries.  Two women stopped immediately to see if she was okay.  One called us, the other one who was an EMT, got into Kaitlin’s car with her, laid her back in her seat, got a towel for her cut, and stayed with her until the ambulance came.

Whenever I think about those two ladies, I want to cry and hug them and thank them but I’ll never know who they are.  I couldn’t be with her, but God was with her, sending those two sweet strangers to help.  He had it under control, even without my help.

I really have felt utterly helpless this week as I’ve heard more about the accident.  I have never wished so strongly that I could teleport to where she was.  My heart ached.  I wasn’t able to help her at all or be with her at all, but others were and she is doing fine. God keeps telling me, “Look how I took care of her.  I told you, you can trust me.”  She’s navigating through it all and growing up a lot in the process, I think.

God is able.  God is there.  He is good and loving.

Could I say those things if Kaitlin had died in the accident?  Or she had been paralyzed? In time, I believe I could, because it’s true.

I believe that when bad or scary things happen to those we love, God has not turned his head but is with them, very near.

Whatever the outcome, I believe He works things for good for those who love Him, and says to us when we start getting anxious, “You can trust me. I’ve got this.”

Trust God, my friends,
    and always tell him
each one of your concerns.
    God is our place of safety. Psalm 62:8 CEV

Thankfulness = Trust?

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What has the power to turn a heart’s gaze to hope, peel away a complaining attitude, and open the door for peace?

Thankfulness.

Being thankful shows self-pity the door and gives contentment the best seat in the house.

Even in the most meager, terrible, or desperate circumstances we can choose to be thankful for something…even everything.

When I read the book “The Hiding Place” about Betsy and Corrie Ten Boom’s experience in a Nazi concentration camp during the holocaust, I was moved and humbled by Betsy’s constant thankfulness.  In the face of cruelty and horrendous day-to-day living conditions, she kept her face turned toward Jesus in hope.  She didn’t complain but instead kept thanking God for everything, much to the amazement of her sister Corrie, who admitted sometimes she wondered if her sister was from another planet.

One particular situation stands out in my memory:   Continue reading →

You’ve been given a gift

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You’ve been given a gift from God: to live one moment at a time.

You don’t have to know what’s ahead or plan out the path.  You don’t have to try to muster up the energy to live tomorrow, just live today.

God promised He would walk with you today, right now.  Just do that, walk with Him in this very moment.  Take His hand, be free.

He can see way down the road, even unto the end of your days and beyond.  You don’t have to.  You just take each happening, each minute, each encounter, each conversation, each thought, each challenge as they come.

There’s no need for “what will I say when I see that person?” or “How will that work out next week?” or Continue reading →

Where does my help come from?

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I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord…  Psalm 121:1-2

Fear comes in all sorts of packages and at all kinds of different times.  I’m afraid I’m a bit of a worrier.  I don’t want to be and it’s embarrassing to admit that, but it’s true.  That worry is actually fear in disguise.

I’m the type of person who really wants to know what’s going to happen, how and when.  I try to be spontaneous but my nature is most comfortable in structure, knowing what’s expected of me, having a plan – you know.

Living a life with Jesus requires me to step out of that comfortable place a lot.  Living in general causes me to step out.  Continue reading →

My girls are in good hands

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I remember the first time I felt it.  It hit me as if a bucket of ice water was suddenly splashed on me.  John and I were brand new parents and had brought our little Kimberly, only 2 weeks old, to a church dinner to see everyone.  We’d be moving to Florida in another week.  Some of our friends, women who had nurtured and loved on us over the years, came over excitedly to see our baby and then took her in their arms, carrying her around the room to show her to other folks.  All of the sudden, as they walked away with her, I was overcome with a protective compulsion to go get her.  They took my baby!  Bring her back! Continue reading →

Day 20 – Not Afraid

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Last night there was a disturbance, not a disturbance in the force but in the family room.  We’re navigating teenage girlhood with our youngest and the waters can be pretty turbulent at times and usually when we least expect it.  Well, a big wave of disrespect and moodiness splashed over John and I.  As we sat blinking on the couch, staring at American Idol, the stormy little instigator marched upstairs.  Moments later the disgruntled teen stomped down the stairs and out the front door!  It was nighttime – dark and chilly out.  John went to see where she went and found her sitting on the porch.  He came back in and closed the door.  I got a rush of restless energy so went to the kitchen to clean.  Cleaning always helps when I’m anxious or just need to get my body busy so I won’t sit and fret.  As I walked in and turned on the faucet to start rinsing dishes, fear blew an icy breath to fog up my heart.  I thought, “What if she runs away?  What if she does something else stupid?  What will we do?  Do I call the police?”  Then I immediately thought, “I’m not going to worry about this” and instead began to pray.  As I put dishes in the dishwasher rather forcefully, I prayed for God to send away any influence from the enemy that was affecting her and her heart.  I prayed and declared that God’s Holy Spirit was the only influence welcome in our home, in the hearts of my family.  I rebuked satan and told him to leave in Jesus’ name.

As I prayed – I was actually saying these things out loud quietly as I scrubbed the surface of the oven – I felt a growing boldness rise up.  The fear started to ebb away as I kept telling the enemy that he was not welcome, that he had no power over us, and that he had to leave because Jesus said so.  All we have to do is resist Him.  That’s what the Bible says!  (James 4:7-8)  We don’t have to punch him, fight him, wrestle with him, or convince him to go.  We just have to pull away and say “Eww, I don’t want you here.”  Well, that’s what I did.  As I prayed it was as if my wimpy little heart suddenly was fortified with the steely determination of Truth.  I said, “I’m not afraid of you!”  Instantly the fear was gone and I felt peace.  I wasn’t worried at all.  I felt strong – felt the power of God all around me, the goodness of Truth triumphing again over evil.  (Like it does EVERY time)

I remember when I was little being afraid to walk through the church with the lights off.  For some reason a church can be really creepy when it’s all dark.  There was nothing there, though!  No reason to be afraid.  And usually my parents were around somewhere getting ready to go home.   I HATE spiders, but most of them don’t hurt anyone. They’re just incredibly spindly, quick and unpredictable and can make me freak out like little else.  When my girls were little and John wasn’t home, I had to be the spider killer.  I would just tell myself, “I’m not afraid” and squish it.  Of course I would usually do it as fast as I could and then get the heebie-jeebies, but you get my point right?

I was talking with a good friend once about doubts and faith, confessing I had some doubts and was feeling guilty about it.  It was also making me afraid for the condition of my faith in God and the foundation I’ve built my life upon this whole time.  He said he didn’t think doubt is the opposite of faith, but that fear is.  I think he’s right.  Doubt usually leads me to God for understanding, for peace, for conversation.  Fear tends to paralyze me.  The Bible says that perfect love (God) casts out all fear (I John 4:17-18) so that tells me that fear is NOT of God.  Not that kind of fear anyway.  My friend told me when doubts arose in his heart, he took them to God and just decided he wasn’t going to give in to fear.  He wasn’t even going to go there.

Is it as simple as that?  Just saying, “you know what?  I’m not going to be afraid.”  I think it is!  For so long I’ve been captive to fears that have nothing to stand on.  The devil is also the prince of lies and all the fears he sloshes onto us are false.  They can be really powerful and trip us but they’re nothing.  He has no power over us.  The thought of facing him when we have God on our side is like us having a battle with a loaf of bread.  (Hilarious simile compliments of John Crump.  Makes me laugh every time I picture it.)

The next time you feel afraid – whether it’s of a dinky spider on your floor or a big, new life circumstance you find yourself in or something you don’t understand about God – choose not to be afraid.  Choose to stand tall with God’s Spirit big inside of you and all around you.  Choose to remember whose you are.  Choose to take it to God, your Father.  Choose to proclaim to the enemy, “I’m not afraid of you!”

Then watch God do something awesome.

When You Get There

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I still smile and laugh to myself when I remember our youngest girl, Kristine, at the age of 4, telling me that she didn’t want to grow up.  When I asked her why not she answered, “I don’t know how to grocery shop.  I don’t know how to drive.”

I giggled and said, “It’s okay, when you get older you’ll learn those things.  You don’t have to worry about that right now.  You’ll know when you get there.”

“Well I don’t want to be a mommy.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know how to take care of babies!”

long-road-walking-walk-score-photoI think I eventually convinced her that although she didn’t know at the age of 4 what she would need to know 15-20 years down the road it was okay.  She wasn’t supposed to.  It would come later.  I tried to help her see that growing up was fun and good, that she would like it and that it’s just what happens naturally to all of us.

God brought this memory front and center this morning and showed me that I do this all the time; I look waaaay down the road and panic thinking “I don’t know how do those things!”  In my heart I try to jump way ahead and figure everything out, I guess so I’ll feel I have some minute amount of control over my life and the outcomes.   The “what ifs” pile up into needless anxiety.

I feel like He’s saying to me this morning, “You don’t have to know what to do when and if that time comes because when you get there, you’ll know.  I’ll show you.  I’ll teach you.  Why are you worrying about that now?” Continue reading →

Not so Desirable Front Row Seat

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harry-potter-poster_330x508It seems almost everyone is talking about the new Harry Potter movie, “The Half-Blood Prince” based on J.K. Rowling’s sixth book in the series.  I’ve read all the books and as usual, I think the book is so much better.  The movie is entertaining, for sure, but so much had to be left out and several liberties taken with original story.  [SPOILER WARNING – if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie yet and plan to, don’t read on]

At the end of the story, Death Eaters (the bad guys) have made their way into the previously secure school Hogwarts.  Draco, a student who has become a death eater, has been charged by the dark lord, Voldemort, with the task of killing the head master, Dumbledore.  He’s made several feeble attempts that failed but now has found Dumbledore in a tower (Harry & Dumbledore had just returned from a dangerous quest in another place) and stands with his wand pointed at him, poised to kill.  In the movie, before Draco gets there, Dumbledore tells Harry to run and get a professor and not to come back up to the tower under any circumstances.  Harry starts downstairs but then, hearing what’s happening, stays a floor underneath watching and listening.  He doesn’t run back up to help Dumbledore because He gave his word not to.

In the book, Harry turns to go get the professor and hears Draco come up to the tower where they are.  Before he can turn to say anything or help, Dumbledore wordlessly casts a spell that immobilizes him.  Harry stands under his invisibility cloak, stiff as a statue, leaning up against the wall, an unwilling spectator, unable to move or speak.  Dumbledore talks Draco down so he almost gives up and gives in, but the other death eaters reach the tower including the professor Harry was supposed to fetch.  Harry watches with horror, powerless, as the professor who was supposed to help actually raises his wand pointed at Dumbledore Continue reading →