Tag Archives: worship

Do we really know?

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When I woke up, honestly my first thought was that Jesus was coming back.  I slept in the top bunk in the staff dormitory at Forest Home Family Camp in the San Bernardino mountains that summer.  It was the middle of the night and my bed was jolting forward and backward so severely that all I could do was grip the sides of the bed and look over to see my roommates standing in the middle of the room clutching each other and screaming while bottles and brushes slid off the bathroom counter.   It was my first earthquake experience and was quite the eye-opener!  The rest of the night we all huddled together on sleeping bags on the floor, stiffening a little each time an aftershock rumbled under the floor.  More than any other time before then, I felt very small. Continue reading →

Pops

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On Father’s Day, more than other days, I think of my dad and all He is and has been to me.  I know there are many who don’t have dads at all or have dads that are detached from their lives or dads that hurt them in various ways.  This makes me especially thankful for my daddy.  I call Him Pops. Continue reading →

Body Parts

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Need some practical ways to live following God’s heart?  Read Romans 12 in The Message.  I love it!  Today I was reading slowly and really only got through the first six verses or so.  I was trying to digest what each verse was really saying and I had a new realization.  Now it may not be new to you but it’s worth pondering anyway. Continue reading →

New

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(I’ve lost track of which day I’m on.  I missed one here and there so no more numbered days on post titles!  I’m still fasting from facebook until Easter.)

Driving to work was cheering today since instead of gray foggy heaviness there was a wide open blue sky.  I so enjoy the artwork of God!  Many times the beauty of what He’s made draws me closer to Him and causes me to worship.  A few wispy clouds gathered around the bright orange disc of a sun, almost as if they were coaxing it to come up – up through God’s watercolor splash of soft orange fading to warm apricot then to faint pink then to clear aqua blue.  It was stunning.

I didn’t even pull my visor down but actually enjoyed the piercing light of the sun in my eyes, as it rose now fully awake, big and bold and enjoying its task of announcing a new day had begun.  New.  That word became my mind’s sole focus for the next few moments as I kept driving…driving into a new day.  “This IS a new day,” I could hear God say to my heart.  Continue reading →

Day 18-19 Weekend

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I’m sitting in the big comfy armchair in my parent’s family room surrounded by their two sweet doggies – Maggie, a gentle, black Scottie dog and Sophie, a snuggly little Bichon whose fluffiness reminds us of a Q-tip.  The sun is brilliant outdoors and shining through all the big windows.  My tummy is full of cereal and english muffin, with a splash of diet coke thrown in.  My heart is full of relaxation and happiness, being in my parents’ home for a few days and enjoying the comfort of familiarity and their company.  It’s so good to get away.  Now that we have more flexibility on our weekends we thought we should take advantage of it and come over to see them this weekend and it’s been really good.

We went to the Saturday night worship at their church last night and so today are being lazy, sleep-in, bums still in our jammies.  How’s that for a switch for a pastor and his family?

In worship last night God was so close.  We sang one of our new favorites, “Glory to God” by Steve Fee.  The words are simple but help me so much in focus in my heart – “Glory to God, glory to God, glory to God forever!”  It’s all for Him.  We also sang the song “Center” by Charlie Hall.  I first learned/heard this song here at their church last year and after that we began to use it at New Life in worship.  The lyrics, of course, are what move me and remind me of what’s important:  “Oh Christ, be the center of our lives, be the place we fix our eyes…You’re the center of the Universe everything was made in You, Jesus.  Breath of every living thing, every one was made for You.  You hold everything together…”  The prayer time was especially moving to me.  A lady walked up on the platform with papers in hand and read a beautiful, heartfelt prayer that she had written.  It was breath-taking.  I would seriously love to have a copy.  It was simple and to the point, but clearly coming from a heart that deeply reveres God, deeply loves Him and is rooted in His Word.  At the end she was praising God with words similar to those of David in the psalms and my heart just overflowed into tears.  What a lovely moment in God’s presence.

My dad is the pastor and his message was right on.  He preached about how so many of us are approval addicts and how that’s contrary to what God wants for us.  He asked the poignant question, “Who is in your jury box?  Who are you playing your life to?”  In other words, whose approval are you seeking?  The only one whose approval matters is God but so often we find ourselves comparing ourselves, even becoming deceitful to impress others, or in bondage to “playing our lives out” to gain people’s stamp of approval.

The key according to dad’s message?  Transparency and secrecy.  Two things that sound like opposites.  When we realize we have nothing to lose in being completely transparent because our only real audience is God we can be fully vulnerable and honest about ourselves.  God already knows everything about us, our mistakes, hang-ups, flaws, and more.  Being transparent is scary but freeing.  Then you have nothing to hide.  No need for any deceit or play-acting.

The secrecy dad talked about is the secrecy we’re supposed to have when we do good for others and are involved in our prayer life.  Jesus said that when we give to others or do good we shouldn’t even let our right hand know what our left hand is doing.  We only need God’s approval and reward, not the reward or “good thinking” of others who find out  what we did.  Also, when we pray and fast, we’re not doing it to gain applause or make a good impression, we’re praying and fasting to grow closer to God and become more like him.  Then we can portray Jesus to the people around us, being completely free of the need to impress or the hunger for man’s approval.  That is true freedom indeed!  That’s what I want and need.

Who am I playing my life to?  How about you?  Who is in your jury box?  Don’t fall prey to living your life to please people.  Don’t live in that bondage.  Be free in knowing you live in God’s love, He has already accepted You and approved of you if you’ve chosen to accept the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice and love.  You don’t have to earn His approval.  You can just fall into His love.  That freedom makes me think of a wide, breezy, sun-lit prairie, spreading my arms out  letting the tips of fingers swish through wild flowers as I run without getting tired, enjoying the life and fresh air of knowing that whoever I am, whoever God made me to be is okay and enough.  This morning my heart is full with the sunshine of these thoughts and the peace of this weekend away.  Thank you, Jesus.  Glory to God!

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”  Galatians 1:10

“Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.”  Colossians 1:22

This and That

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I haven’t blogged very consistently lately – haven’t had much to say.  I don’t think anyone would want to read something I write just because I feel I should write.  It’s more fun to write when I’ve had a new realization, when God has shown me something new, when something I’ve seen or heard parallels something in my walk with Him and all of you.  I’ve felt somewhat detached at times, not bad, just kind of quiet…it’s hard to describe.  Sometimes I think that the months of emotional ups and downs depleted me and  my emotions are in short supply right now – does that make sense?  I feel good, peaceful, optimistic, thankful, etc. just nothing in extremes now.  Famous last words.  I’m sure now that I’ve actually typed that the floodgates will burst open and I’ll be a blithering idiot spouting emotional exclamations any minute now.

I do have a few things that have come to mind, maybe worth mentioning:

We’re in the midst of winter where I live and it’s been a long, cloudy, cold one.  It’s gotten pretty snowy in the past week or so with a little ice and slush mixed in for fun.  Winter is not my favorite season, in fact it’s my least favorite BUT (and it’s a big but) I have heard God tell me not to complain.  I’ve heard many complaints lately about weather and life in general and it really is a drag.  I feel as if, when we complain, we’re saying to God, “Nope, what you made isn’t good” or “I don’t like what you’re giving me.  Sorry.”  I was reading in Genesis the other day about Noah and the ark and how God promised with his rainbow symbol that from that point on season would follow season, the earth would continue in its pattern without interruption and total destruction.  Continue reading →

Has it really been all about You, God?

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As I sat on the piano bench a few Sundays before our last Sunday at our church as pastors, I felt that nearness to God that often comes to me when I’m singing, making music, and leading worship with my friends.  There’s nothing like music to lift me into God’s presence, to remind me of how beautiful, holy and amazing He is, to open and soften my heart.  There is definitely nothing like music that enables me to express praise to God, to celebrate Him, to love Him.  It’s just the way my heart and soul are wired, I think.  Music is huge to me – always has been.  I wonder what the spiritual connection really is when we sing for and to God?  I believe God made singing/playing music spiritual and not just pleasing to the ears.

As I sat on the piano bench that Sunday a sadness crept up and over me as I realized this time of leading and singing with these particular friends and in this way was about over.  Even as we sang, my heart was praying, “God, I don’t want to give this up.  Continue reading →

It’s Still Good

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I’ve been thinking a LOT about the nature of the Church in America, how we do some things right, how we do some things seemingly wrong, how we miss the mark so often by getting distracted and becoming like social clubs, how it seems we’ve failed in being life-saving stations.  I’ve swayed so far on the continuum that I’ve wondered the purpose of meeting every Sunday to sing songs and have “church.”  What is the point in all this that we do week after week, God?  Is this accomplishing your mission for us??

This morning God showed me that it’s still good.  Meeting for worship with other believers, other “sheep” is still a very good thing.  There’s nothing wrong with it – it’s just not all there is.  When we meet we encourage one another, we get help shifting our focus back to God, we hear from God’s Word, we gain new insights and direction, we hopefully hear testimonies of how God is at work in other people’s lives, we celebrate how good God is together, we sing, we pray together.  It’s still good!   As a church we just can’t stop or stay there.  Our mission is to get out and share hope and Jesus with everyone who hasn’t believed yet.  How do we do that?  That’s the million dollar question! Continue reading →

Day Four

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This morning (Sunday) we woke to a crystal clear blue sky and sun, got dressed, had some cereal and went to church.  What a great time of celebration and refreshing!  There have been times lately when I pondered on the value of the weekly worship service, is it really serving a purpose?  Does it help fulfill Christ’s commission to us?  Is it worth all the time and preparation?  Well, today I realized that although we can’t base our faith on emotion, emotion is a part of our faith and relationship with God and helps us reconnect to Him.  I was so encouraged and uplifted by the songs we sang, seeing other people worship alongside my family, the freedom to sing out and raise my hands, and hearing God’s Word spoken boldly and passionately.  The lesson we heard was right on and was such a great reminder:  God is for us.  When we are hurting we sometimes feel abandoned or when things don’t turn out the way we planned we feel hurt, or that God’s not listening.  His wisdom appears as foolishness to us oftentimes but we have to remember that God’s foolishness is wiser than any man’s best wisdom.  Great truth!   The speaker was engaging and funny, which I also thanked God for, because our girls were clearly connected throughout and seemed to soak it in.

We experienced something new in the worship time:  the speaking of tongues and the interpretation of it.  I have never experienced that.  I’ve been in services at pentecostal churches where everyone seemed to be speaking in tongues but no one explained anything or interpreted so all it seemed to be was a frenzied chaotic mess…not something God used to bless or instruct anyone.  This was much different.  Following one of the worship songs, one woman began speaking in what sounded like a different language.  When she did the band got quiet, all the people quieted and we just listened.  It lasted about half a minute.  Right after she finished another lady in a different part of the room “interpreted” and shared a word from God with us about having faith and hope in spite of disappointments or unrealized dreams, very impassioned and strong.  After her another woman shared briefly that when we don’t understand what God is doing, it doesn’t mean God isn’t working on our behalf – the our future and hope is in His hands.  How cool that these two words from God were exactly what the preacher was going to speak about!  Instead of feeling uncomfortable or weird, I felt like it was a special holy moment, like God was truly speaking through those ladies to each of us.

The girls were handed some money from their great-grandmother last night so of course we needed to make a trip to the mall.  Now we’re home and getting ready to have some pizza.  It’s our last night on vacation and I hope it goes by slowly.  We head home tomorrow – back to routine, back to “normal” life.   At least we’ve had this long weekend getaway with each other, John’s family, and God.

You have reason to sing

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There have been times when choosing to praise God in spite of something traumatic happening in my life brought healing.  It may not have come at the very instant I made the choice to speak or sing something to God, but it came.  For some reason, when you force yourself to shift your thinking away from pain, disappointment, discouragement, fear, or worry – if only for a moment – to proclaim the things you know to be true, it’s as if God cuts a slit in the dark shroud that’s suffocating you and allows a shaft of brilliant hope to shine in.  Courage grows, freedom shows it’s beautiful face again.  When we say or think, “God is still the God He was before” or “God is still on the throne” or “He never changes, He is still faithful, He still cares about me” or any number of truths like these we’re taking a step toward Him, putting ourselves out there, with arms reaching forward in faith.  We’re waiting for Him to make the next move and pull us closer, to refine us, to beautify us, to do a miracle and somehow bring something good out of something completely awful.  Sometimes we have no idea how any good can come out of what we’re facing, but we trust.  We praise.

I guess that’s the ticket – when we praise in spite of circumstances we are proclaiming our faith.  We are saying “I still believe, God.  I don’t feel You, I don’t see You.  I don’t hear You right now.  But I’m choosing to believe that You’re still good and You’re still there.  You’re still God.”  The Bible tells us many times that faith pleases God.  In fact, it tells us that without faith you cannot please Him.  Many of his people in the Old Testament, before Jesus came to save them from sin, were justified simply because they had faith.

Choosing to praise in pain or any trial also gets our eyes off of ourselves and back onto Jesus and the purpose He has for us.  We can begin moving forward rather than being stuck knee-deep in sinking sand or muck.

I watched a video today of a worship leader from the Hillsong Church in Australia who endured a terrible disappointment and loss, yet chose to praise God.  Watch it and let God speak to your heart.  Listen to the lyrics of the song, too.  This has become my new favorite.