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Author Archives: therealmimi
Workin’ at the good ol’ ENT
A few highlights from the past 3 weeks at my new job:
- Having fun getting to know the 3-4 ladies I work with the most and doing my best to stay neutral when each of them tells me stuff about one of the other ones. They are friendly and have been great to me.
- Trying to figure out what to do when one person trains you to do a task one way and then another trains you a little differently. Do I do it all ways at once so that whoever is watching over me at the moment is satisfied with my work? Good stretching exercise for my pea brain!
- Getting tickled when patients walk up to the counter, tell me the doctor they came to see and then just look at me. I look back and say, “and you are?” Being psychic would help, either that or having a photographic memory for more than a few thousand patient names!
- Realizing that a smile goes a long way in helping people feel welcome or better about their day.
- Wishing there was so much more I could do for a patient besides smile when they’ve come in for a biopsy report or have been disfigured by surgery for cancer.
- Trying to remember that many of the patients are not raising their voices at me because they’re angry, it’s because they’re hard of hearing.
- Learning a big lesson today after making a mistake that upset one of the docs so much he dropped the “F” bomb in the back office. Woops.
- Making cookies tonight to take tomorrow to help make the back office a happier place.
- Realizing there are so many people in the world who have very little people skills, even intelligent people.
- Knowing now more than ever how important people skills are. Taking time to learn them is time well-spent.
- Also realizing there are many people in the world who care most about their preferences and being considerate of others isn’t always a priority.
- Being so thankful to have already met a few other co-workers who are believers.
- Being thankful for a job in which I can be with people and hopefully make a difference.
- So extremely thankful for Friday afternoons off!
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On the Receiving End
I once had a friend who was gifted at giving. She was immensely creative and would put lots of thought and time into the gifts she gave others. Each year all of the ladies at church hoped she would draw their name for “secret sisters” because they knew fun and imaginative surprises would be coming their way.
There was only one problem: she couldn’t receive gifts well. It seemed when someone tried to do something for her she felt compelled to reciprocate right away, or even almost refuse saying “you don’t have to do that.” Her responses popped the balloon of joy and love of the one trying to do something for her. It was frustrating! She could give but not receive. It almost felt like a one-sided game of catch where someone throws a ball at you over and over but never let’s you throw one back. No fun.
This morning in my quiet time I was reminded that I usually act like my relationship with God is solely my doing or responsibility. I must give and do and be for Him to please Him and show how much I love him by what I do, when He wants to love and give to me, too, and I need to receive. I need to remember that I wouldn’t even have a relationship with Him if He hadn’t invited me and called me to Him. He’s the initiator. He loved me first.
It seems a fine line to walk because the Bible talks about seeking God intentionally but also talks about accepting the gift of grace and an eternal kingdom as willingly and eagerly as a child.
Living in relationship with my heavenly Father is part actively getting to know Him and loving Him, part sitting expectantly at His feet with open hands waiting to gladly receive something good from Him. The depth and quality of our love and closeness doesn’t depend just on me. I’m so thankful for that! Today I’m sitting, smiling, waiting on the receiving end.
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Worth the Wait
Why is it so hard to wait? Is it because it’s hard for us to stop doing things and just be still? It is because we’re not in control and have to rely on someone else to respond, do something or fulfill a request? What are we in a hurry to do or where are we in a rush to go?
I’m a pretty patient person in most circumstances, but it’s still sometimes hard for me to wait. I got lots of practice in the last few years and don’t want to forget the lessons I learned – lessons about perseverance, trust, sacrifices of praise, and surrender.
The Bible has much to say about waiting on God and all the good that can result. Here are just some of the blessings that come from waiting on God:
- Help – Psalm 40:1
- Rescue – Psalm 59:9
- Victory – Psalm 62:1
- Answers – Psalm 38:9
- God will work things out for those who wait – Isaiah 64:4
- Fresh, renewed strength – Isaiah 40:31
- Receive what God has promised – Hebrews 6:15, Romans 15:4
- Justice – Job 35:14
- Reward – Luke 12:37
- Hope – Romans 8:25
- God is good to those who wait – Lamentations 3:25-26
- Awareness of God’s presence – Psalm 37:7
There are plenty of things we can do while we wait: thank God for things and people and more, praise Him, talk about Him, read His word, think about Him, and sometimes just be completely quiet, letting our minds and hearts be at peace.
I like these lyrics from a song by Shane Barnard:
i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear
sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet’s where You are
Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time’s from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You
Waiting is difficult because we are impatient people. We want results and we want them now. I find I even have this mentality sometimes when I sit down to have quiet time with God. I want to hear him right away, I want a feeling or sensation of His presence and I forget that sometimes I just need to be patient. I find that it is always worth the wait.
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Not just bread
I’ve only been fishing once but would love to learn and try it again sometime. From what I understand fish pretty much think about one thing: eating. That’s about the sum of their life, looking for food and eating it. The problem is there are these humans who toss out lures on fishing lines that dangle and float in the water. They look like food but inside is a hook that, unbeknownst to the fish, will ensnare it and begin reeling it in to become dinner.
There are lots of lures in this life: things, people, entertainment, pastimes, hobbies, habits, and more that appear good on the outside but inside is a hook, a trap. If we bite, it could little by little pull us away from God, from our true purpose, from real and fulfilling life.
I have to admit, I’ve been biting some. Yesterday in church John brought a great message about Jesus being tempted by satan to turn stone into bread when he was famished and weak. Jesus saw the hook in satan’s lure and didn’t bite. Instead He answered back, “Man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from God’s mouth.” (Matthew 4:4) Bread isn’t a bad thing, but if it were to become the priority over Jesus’ obedience to God and perseverance through testing, it would have pulled him away from his true purpose and mission.
I let busy stuff, facebook, the Internet, messing around, housework, yard work, texting or playing with my phone, and more distract me and fill my day. Soon it’s time to go to bed and I’ve not cracked open my Bible or spent time just sitting with God in prayer. I feel empty, restless and frustrated with myself.
God reminded me yesterday in church that I don’t have to bite, that I can resist with His help and stay close to Him. I can be free and walk the path God has for me without getting pulled this way and that.
So, I’m giving up bread until Easter, just to practice discipline and to remind myself each time I want bread that I don’t live by that alone. I live by the time I spend with God, by the love and grace He gives me, by my relationship with Him and nearness to Him. He is my nourishment and sustaining life. I can’t expect to walk in spiritual health if I only call on Him on Sundays or once a while in “microwave” prayer times.
Yep, it was only our third Sunday at church and the pastor’s wife went to the altar. Hey, I can be as weak sometimes as the next person even though I don’t want to be.
Papa, remind me of true life, of your purpose for me. Help me walk in it and walk closer to You. I crave that more than any other earthly thing.
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Where does my help come from?
I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord… Psalm 121:1-2
Fear comes in all sorts of packages and at all kinds of different times. I’m afraid I’m a bit of a worrier. I don’t want to be and it’s embarrassing to admit that, but it’s true. That worry is actually fear in disguise.
I’m the type of person who really wants to know what’s going to happen, how and when. I try to be spontaneous but my nature is most comfortable in structure, knowing what’s expected of me, having a plan – you know.
Living a life with Jesus requires me to step out of that comfortable place a lot. Living in general causes me to step out. Continue reading
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I hear Him singing
There have been many times in this past year when I couldn’t really hear it…times when I almost scoffed at the thought of him singing at all. Every now and then I thought I heard it, like a brief break in dark, gray clouds that reveals a small patch of blue sky and sunshine that is soon covered by the heavy grayness again.
Sometimes the noise of the wind gusting around me was so loud the melody was faint and far away as I strained to hear it, needing some reassurance or direction. Sometimes I found myself feeling isolated in a wide and desolate place where the silence is deafening and terrifying. I asked Him in those difficult moments, “Do you really still delight in me? Have you forgotten where I am?”
I have to admit there have been times I was angry with Him so I sat down and put my fingers in my ears. I’m not proud of that, but it’s true. I was having a hard time believing his song.
He’s proven to me over and over that He never stops singing the song of his unconditional, faithful, and real love. Nothing lifts my heart and lightens the weight of burdens on my back like the sound of the breathtaking, soaring melody of God’s song as He sings it over me. When I do hear it, I’m reminded of my place in his family and his heart. I’m reminded of the undeserved grace He’s given me. I’m reminded of all that I should be thankful for.
In Zephaniah 3:17 it says,
For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
In these last few weeks I’ve heard Him clearly – loud, triumphant, a fierce love in His voice that is unmistakable. It bowls me over and then lifts me up. He really is delighted to lavishly love us and take care of us, to save us. He really does sing over our lives without ceasing, sometimes faintly and tenderly, sometimes strong.
I hear Him singing…
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Just say it
A friend and I were chatting at a local restaurant this evening, having fun getting to know each other, sharing stories, etc. After we’d been there 30 minutes or so a waitress came by to take up our trays, which doesn’t usually happen there. I thought to myself, “How nice of her.” Then another worker actually vacuumed the rug right around our table. I even had to lift up my purse up off the floor. My friend and I joked, “you think they want us to leave?” A minute or two later the manager turned off the lights behind the counter and started rolling out these empty, really noisy racks so that we couldn’t even hear each other. We laughed and said, “They must be closing soon or something, they sure are eager to go home!” A few minutes later the manager came over to us and said, “Well, I’m heading out now.” We looked at each other, gathered our things and headed out the door. As we left we noticed the hours posted on the door said they close at 9:00 pm and it was now 9:45 pm.
We cracked up thinking those workers must have been getting pretty annoyed with us and wondering what our problem was, while we were thinking “what is their deal? They’re making us feel like they don’t want us here.” Well they didn’t – they wanted to go home.
It would have been so much better if that manager would have come over to us and told us closing time was at 9 pm. We would have been glad to go before they closed. Instead he tried all these not so subtle ways to let us know we needed to leave and they weren’t very effective, just kind of confusing and funny.
If you’ve got something to say, don’t beat around the bush, leave hints that often don’t get picked up, or get all stressed out wishing someone knew what you needed or are thinking. Just say it! Talk. Communicate. It makes the world a better place. Take my word for it.
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Jealous God
I remember hearing years ago about Oprah’s turning away from mainline Christian faith into her confusing mixture of new age beliefs. She was sitting in church and heard the preacher say something about God being a jealous God. She thought to herself that if God was jealous of her, what kind of insecure god is that? She ventured away from traditional views of God and into a nebulous tangle of self-deifying thinking.
I think she misunderstood. I agree that the word jealous usually has negative connotations. I was taught growing up that it’s not good to be jealous. Someone should have told Oprah that God isn’t jealous of her as if He wants to be her, He is jealous of her attention. He wants her heart and life to be centered on Him and not other things or people.
I caught a glimpse of what this means tonight. I have these revelations in the oddest places in the strangest timing sometimes. I was standing in a concert enjoying beautiful, awesome worship music with thousands of other enthusiastic people when I got clearer understanding about this.
I have some hurt over people in my life who have held me at arm’s length or refused my initiations at love or interaction. When I see them react positively to others and not to me, I feel jealous. I want that attention and love. I felt God say that is how He has felt with me lately.
I have allowed myself to get caught up in busyness for a while now. I’ve been restless and my prayer times have been short and kind of perfunctory. I know that what I need and really want most is that nearness to God but I keep allowing other things take my attention and time away. I don’t understand why I do it either and have felt very frustrated with myself.
Tonight I heard God tell me that He’s a jealous God and He wants my attention. He doesn’t want me to hold Him at arm’s length, saying “later, God” or “I need to do this first” or “I want to give my attention to this instead.”
Can He forgive me for the fourteen-millionth time? He said “Yes.”
Tonight at the concert Louie Giglio reminded us that extravagant worship happens when we are faced with God’s extravagant grace. I fully agree. When I remember my place and what God has done for me, His mercy and patience extended to me over and over again, the only reaction I can give with full sincerity is thankfulness and worship.
I prayed that the other relationship I long to have restored will be someday, but also that I will be thankful I have a jealous God who even notices I’m alive, much less wants me to spend time with Him and live in close relationship with Him.
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Welcome
Four vehicles full of people from our new church drove 4 hours Saturday morning to come get us and our things, loaded up our stuff in trailers, trucks and vans all day, then drove with us 4 hours back to Illinois. They had a yummy home-cooked dinner waiting when we got to town, so we could all recharge before unloading the truck late into the night. We actually had fun and they seemed glad to do it all.
They had cleaned and scrubbed and fixed up our new house until it sparkled and gleamed. They had filled the fridge and cupboards with groceries, put up new shower curtains and bath mats, set out kleenex, hand soap, toilet paper, you name it. We were hooked up right from the start. The message was loud and clear: “we want you here!”
We could tell they had spent hours before we came preparing and planning for our arrival and it made us feel so special and at home.
Today, John and I tried out the local Qdoba and were treated so warmly. That may sound funny, but it really was an exceptionally welcoming, smiling crew who looked like they were having fun and enjoyed their work. It made us want to go back, and soon.
There’s a lot to be said about making an intentional effort to welcome someone. If we would open up our hearts and arms in churches and put that much effort into preparing for and welcoming people who are new and may have never gone to church before we’d probably see a lot of them come back because they felt as if we really meant it: we want them there with us. They would feel welcome.
(I have to also give a shout out to the lovely friends from our old church who were able to come help on Saturday with our move, too. We love you!)
Along the Narrow Path 