One of my favorite classes in college was called “Interpersonal Relationships”. It was taught by a brilliant, albeit slightly odd, professor with frizzy hair and a laugh that sounded like a happy donkey braying. For two hours he’d lay out nuggets of wisdom before us: exploring relationships, behavior, interactions with others, and more. I soaked it up like a sponge. I wish I still had the notebook from that class. (Maybe I do – I just don’t know where it is.) We had a short dinner break, then would come back for the last two hours to practice what we’d been learning by role playing in front of a video camera, then watching our “performance” with Dr. Farmen critiquing and giving feedback. I have used so much of what I learned in that class all throughout my life. I’m thankful to Dr. Farmen for pushing us, challenging us, and really teaching us more about people and why they behave the way they do.
One of the jewels he brought out in lecture one night was the idea of a “self-fulfilling prophecy”. This is when something you think about someone affects the way you behave toward that person, which actually makes them more like the label you’ve given them. For example, if a teacher labels a child a “trouble maker” then his/her behavior will (even subconsciously) communicate that label and cause the child to be even more a trouble maker. I’ve seen that happen in the schools where I used to work, even with my own daughter. One teacher she had saw her “spunk” and overly active little self as a real negative Continue reading
Over the two years we worked together he became a really good friend. He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls. One night they had us over for dinner. We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn. It was such a lovely night. I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary. 
He drove by the McDonald’s. What? Jodi, Jon and I looked at each other again and asked him, “Dad, where are you going?”
The day finally arrived for Kimmi and she is now moved in at AU and ready for her first year of college! She had her car loaded up and ready to go and after running some last-minute errands in the morning we headed to Anderson in the early afternoon. Driving over, I kept glancing in the side rear-view mirror to see her following behind. The words in the mirror were a strange comfort: “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.” John wondered aloud if Kimmi had butterflies. “I do,” I replied as he chuckled.
We arrived at Rice Hall, where I lived my sophomore year and John lived for four years. A friendly student started to lead us upstairs to her room and as we rounded the 2nd floor set of stairs we were greeted by a bunch of smiling, colorful, upper-class art students (the dreadlocks kind of gave it away). They guessed Kimmi’s name until they got it right, then told her they were ready to help her move in! The moment they began their enthusiastic welcome to a much-delighted Kimmi, I could almost feel John and I becoming invisible and fading farther back in the stairwell. This is what’s supposed to happen, though. 
The last few nights I’ve slept restlessly. I don’t know if it’s because our mattress is on the floor right now (we threw out our box springs in the bed bug fiasco this summer), if I’m thinking about a lot of things, or what.
Ever since my first little baby girl was born I’ve had the privilege of a front row seat. God graciously invited John and I to be co-directors in the continuing saga of their lives. It’s been challenging, exciting, funny, sad, frustrating, exhausting, joyful, disappointing, humbling, and wonderful. No shortage of dramatic girls for the roles of the three daughters in this story.
We drove out to Crawfordsville to the home of a sweet older couple selling a used Geo Tracker, the car of my middle daughter’s dreams. Did I mention that she was hoping for a teal-colored Geo Tracker, to be specific? We had heard that the car was blue with a white roof but were happily surprised to drive around the corner, arriving at the couple’s house, to see that the car is actually teal! Kaitlin practically jumped out of the van before I could park. 
Along the Narrow Path 