Tag Archives: brother

On grief and loss

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This is one of those days when my brother keeps coming to mind. I miss him.

You may have experienced loss and know what grief is like. The emotions often come like waves: sometimes mild, with the quiet lapping of warm memories that bring up other memories, which bring up any myriad of feelings, joy mingling with pain.

Sometimes a wave builds and crashes, rolling in and sending me tumbling around in the surf. I come up for air and see recurring questions bob on the surface around me. Hurt and disappointment over some seemingly unanswered prayers prick my feet like sharp stones on the bottom as I try to gain my footing.

Sometimes, it all recedes, and the low tide reveals an empty damp shoreline of emotional weariness and the resulting numbness. Little “what ifs” scutter about like crabs coming out of hiding.

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Pencil marks on a wall

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For a long time there were gray lines on our brightly colored, floral kitchen wallpaper.  My brother, sister and I were always eager to compare the measurements dad had made the year before and see that we had grown. Sometimes we couldn’t wait a year and asked him to check us more often, hoping to see a change.  We’d check to make sure everyone had their heels on the floor and stretched our necks up as straight and high as we could.  Just having that little pencil-line proof gave us a little boost of confidence and made us smile proudly.  Of course, inside we hoped to end up taller than the other two siblings. Continue reading →

WTDWYDKWTD #2

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When I was in the sixth grade, my dad pastored a church in Lake Wales, Florida.  One Saturday there was supposed to be a work day so my brother, sister and I got our old clothes on and got ready to go help out at the church.  That was the plan.  My parents piled us in the big, light green, Chevy impala we owned and started off down the road.   Dad drove right past the church.  We looked at each other and asked him what was up.  He said we were going to McDonald’s first for breakfast.  Cool!

mcdonalds_cropped_by_daquella_maneraHe drove by the McDonald’s.  What?  Jodi, Jon and I looked at each other again and asked him, “Dad, where are you going?”

“Oh, there’s another McDonald’s down the road a ways.”

“Okay,” we thought, puzzled.

Dad passed the next McDonald’s.  Okay, something is weird here!  “Dad, we’re going to be late for the work day!” we cried, “We’re way down the road now.”

He smiled and said, “There’s another McDonald’s a little farther on.”  In fact he and mom started singing a silly impromptu song, “Ohhhhhh there’s a McDonald’s in Lake Wales, there’s a McDonald’s in Winter Haven…”  We realized our parents had officially lost it.  Continue reading →