Tag Archives: growth

What is Comfort Worth Really?

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I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Enneagram or what you think about it’s worth/value, but I have gained a lot of insight into what often “drives” my heart and mind or the heart of mind of some of my friends and family.

According to the Enneagram, I’m a 9 and 9’s are called the “peacemakers.” That sounds very noble, but mostly means I value inner peace and harmony and fear loss of connection with others. I am by nature a conflict-avoider. I want people to get along partly because I care but also partly so it doesn’t cause me inner turmoil (real talk).

I tend to merge with others in decision-making to keep the peace or even “go to sleep” to my own desires and opinions to avoid the discomfort of tension between me and someone else. Anyone out there feeling me in this? Other 9s in the room?

So, in our culture of social media, increasingly sharp, polarizing opinions, and the reality that many are giving up altogether on relationships when there’s disagreement about something, my little mind and heart that crave “all is well” have really struggled to stay engaged.

Lately, I feel God inviting me to grow in the area of investing in and even thriving in relationships with people even when there is conflict.

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Pencil marks on a wall

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For a long time there were gray lines on our brightly colored, floral kitchen wallpaper.  My brother, sister and I were always eager to compare the measurements dad had made the year before and see that we had grown. Sometimes we couldn’t wait a year and asked him to check us more often, hoping to see a change.  We’d check to make sure everyone had their heels on the floor and stretched our necks up as straight and high as we could.  Just having that little pencil-line proof gave us a little boost of confidence and made us smile proudly.  Of course, inside we hoped to end up taller than the other two siblings. Continue reading →

Breakthrough

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I like the band “The Rocket Summer.”  It just so happened that the last two mornings as I drove to work, the iPod on shuffle, I heard one of his songs each day.  This morning I listened to his song that has these words in the chorus:

I need a break, but I’d rather have a breakthrough

Can I say that today?  I definitely have felt like I need a break, or my family does.  Could it be that if we hold out long enough, keep believing through strain that we’ll break through to the next level of growth God planned for us?  Continue reading →

Look in the mirror. Own up to what you see.

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If I want my doctor to help me with something, I have to tell her what’s wrong.  I have to reveal things about myself that might not be so pretty.  If I want a counselor to assist me in regaining wholeness, I have to be gut honest about myself, my family, my past, whatever, in order for him/her to get to the root of the problem and show me how to resolve it.  Without a willingness to be fully open or totally honest, I’ll just be getting band-aid solutions that don’t fully get rid of the real problem.  The symptoms might go away for a while but they’ll be back, and maybe even more ferociously than before.

It’s not easy.  Probably the biggest obstacle is my pride.  Why would I want to show someone else something ugly or flawed about myself?  How embarrassing.  What will they think?   How will I feel about myself?   Who wants to admit a glaring weakness to someone else and show that I don’t have it all together?  I might even appear hypocritical.

This weekend our church is a part of a consultation to help us evaluate ourselves and grow.  One step toward growth, integrity, and becoming more like Jesus is being willing to see truthfully who we are and/or what we have become, admit it is true and be ready to submit to God’s molding, reshaping, and pruning.  It’s as if He’s holding up his big supernatural mirror and we’re seeing the big picture like we haven’t before.  John and I met with the consultation team last night.  Before we went in I felt a little like I did back in school days thinking I had to see the principal. Continue reading →