Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

He looks in love

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In this life, I’ll never be able to comprehend how God can know each person on this earth intimately and be involved in each life.  He has plans for each and every one.  He hears every prayer.  He sees each heart, however full of light or darkened still in shadows.

How did He create the universe, which keeps spreading out and expanding into space? Where is the edge of that space? How does He create each and every person uniquely different from all others who live or have lived?

There are just some things beyond our human understanding.  A big part of believing in God and following Jesus is accepting the mystery of who He is.  I do believe with every one of my brain cells and all my heart that He is good.  He sees every one of us and He looks in love.

I work in a doctor’s office and encounter all sorts of people every day – from babies to the elderly, thriving or barely making it, happy or crabby, you name it.

The other day a very thin woman and her husband walked slowly and quietly to the check out desk after seeing the doctor.   Continue reading →

Known

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I’m thinking today about knowing others and being known.

I may know your face.  You look familiar.

I may know your name.

I may know about your family, your job, and where you live.

I may know what type of music or movies you like, or what books you read.

I may know what you’re good at doing.

I may know whether you like being with people or alone.

I may know what makes you angry, what makes you truly happy, and what matters most to you. Continue reading →

A time for tears

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For everything there is a season,
      a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
      A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
      A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
      A time to grieve and a time to dance.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Tears have many purposes and fulfill their purposes in countless different circumstances.  They mysteriously express for us the overflow of our hearts and somehow relieve pressure that has built up inside, whether gradual or sudden.

Saturday I was privileged to participate in the Race for the Cure again, this time walking with a new friend who is a new survivor.  Being a part of that day is always really interesting and often moving.  There are so many stories represented by the people walking.   Some are celebrating, some are mourning, some are rejoicing over beating the disease, some are proudly walking in memory of someone they loved who bravely fought but succumbed.  Many of them pin papers to the backs of their shirts that express their reason for walking:  “I walk in celebration of my mom, a 10 year survivor” or “I celebrate life” or “I walk in memory of my sister” and so on with hundreds of different messages and reasons.  One said “I celebrate ME.”  Glad to be alive, we are, all of us wearing those pink t-shirts.  This day always serves as a reminder of how blessed we are and always fills me with gratitude to God.  Tears filled my eyes as I silently spoke to God in my heart, “Thank you, God!  Thank you for sparing me and allowing me to live.”  Then there are questions that sometimes come, too, “Why was I so blessed to live?”  I don’t want to take one day for granted.

During an inspirational song at the beginning of the day, Continue reading →

The Distinguished Order of Mommies

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Nothing has altered, blessed, challenged, rewarded, or complicated my life as much as being a mom.  When I was very young and playing house it all seemed pretty simple.  Of course the baby was inanimate, silent and plastic and the laundry and dishes invisible.  Little did I know all that actually comes with motherhood.

When our first baby finally made her debut, I clearly remember feeling awe, joy and a sense of accomplishment.  I had just completed Childbirth 101 and passed the final.  I had just joined an enormous group of women who had done the same since the beginning of time.  I was now a member of a very important and distinguished group: mommies.

Moms give of themselves 24/7, usually without a second thought.  My mom still gives to me.  Even though our relationship has changed she is often still the giver.  She gives counsel, a listening ear, a joyful cheer when something good happens, friendship, support, unconditional love and more.  She doesn’t seem to mind that our relationship is still a little lop-sided at times.

I remember so clearly the first time I called her, when I was a young mom, to apologize for the way I acted when I was little.  Continue reading →

This Day

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I stand on the threshold of this new day, door wide open, sun is shining, the path looks inviting today.  I can run on out and get started on my own but I’m waiting.  God, Papa, promised to go with me.

When I take His hand peace fills me up, love from the bottoms of my feet to the tips of my fingers and top of my head.  He becomes my energy and strength.  I look up at Him and smile.  We step out of the doorway and into this day.

Just being near Him is life-changing; His presence radiates and I’m caught in the glow.  I start to resemble Him more as we walk that way, talking, sharing the experiences of this day’s path together.

I keep His pace when He’s holding my hand.  I find that I’m not preoccupied with what’s ahead, I’m just glad to be with Him, minute by minute, hour by hour.

He gives me strength, the words to say when we encounter other travelers, His unselfish love (much better than my own shallow love), compassion, joy.  Sometimes we just start singing spontaneously.

This is the indescribable joy of living in relationship with Him.  He is with me.  I am with Him.

I wouldn’t want to live this day any other way.

You’ve been given a gift

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You’ve been given a gift from God: to live one moment at a time.

You don’t have to know what’s ahead or plan out the path.  You don’t have to try to muster up the energy to live tomorrow, just live today.

God promised He would walk with you today, right now.  Just do that, walk with Him in this very moment.  Take His hand, be free.

He can see way down the road, even unto the end of your days and beyond.  You don’t have to.  You just take each happening, each minute, each encounter, each conversation, each thought, each challenge as they come.

There’s no need for “what will I say when I see that person?” or “How will that work out next week?” or Continue reading →

Learning, learning

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It always hurts – those times when God holds up His mirror to show me something in myself that isn’t part of who He made me to be.  I had a critical attitude about something/someone last week and then found myself Sunday doing the very thing I was critical about.

I heard God’s voice loud and clear, reminding me not to judge others, to be concerned with my own self, to be patient even when I don’t feel patient, and to always extend grace to other people because none of us is perfect.

I had to confess quietly, sitting on the piano bench at church, because the worship service was starting.  I was already pretty ashamed of myself.  Then, as it always seems to happen with God’s teaching and molding of me, the sermon happened to be about being crucified with Christ.  Of course.   Continue reading →

I am, You are

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Father God,

I’m clay, You are the potter
I’m a lantern, You are the fire
I’m finite and frail, You are everlasting
I’m easily blown about, You are a rock, immovable
I’m weak, You are powerful and strong
I’m prone to anxiety, You are peace, steady and unwavering

You are the origin of every thing, person, thought, emotion or idea

On my own I am lost, You found me
I was a spiritual orphan but You accepted and adopted me

I’m your child, You’re my Papa

I’m fickle, You are faithful
I’m so small, You are vast beyond comprehension

I get tired of thinking about who I am but love to ponder all that You are

You are love, and how I need Your love
You are the Artist to top all artists, creativity at Your core
You are beauty and altogether good
You are holy, pure, radiant – light with no hint darkness
You are compassion, hope, and promise
You are truth and justice

You are the Master Orchestrator, Architect, and Conductor of the whole universe
You are Creator, Savior, Mighty Conqueror, King
Counselor, Friend, Healer, Father

I see You, Father God, and bow down
I’m humbled and awed by You – there’s no other way to say it
The honor and privilege of living near You, in relationship with You, actually hand in hand with You is amazing and wonderful!

The miracle is that as we draw near You and keep close, Your radiance warms our hearts, melts our pride and burnishes away our imperfections.  We begin to look like You, to bear Your resemblance.  Day by day with You we are transformed!

I am Your smiling child, happy to just be with You.  You are my joy, my song, my Jesus, my God.  Help me to know You more.

I can see I’m not the only one

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There’s an old Audio Adrenaline song I love called “Jesus Movement” that’s about how in America we tend to think, even subconsciously, that we’ve got it goin’ on as far as following Jesus.  We’re the ones to take the lead from, we know what we’re doing.  I think it’s an American way of thinking that’s seeped into our spiritual lives and thoughts.  It’s easy to forget about the billions of other human beings on the planet when we can only see physically the home and town where we live.  Of course, with the Internet we can see much more and interact so much more easily with people all around the world.

For some reason I’m still ignorant when it comes to the number of people in other countries and on other continents who love Jesus just as much as I do and are doing their best, like I am, to live for Him and make Him known.

In the Audio Adrenaline song, the lyrics go like this:  (below the video) Continue reading →

You’re not listening!

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I love Qdoba.  It is one of my favorite places ever.  When I worked in Indiana there was a Qdoba just down the street and I frequented that place so often I made friends with all the workers there including the manager, Chino.  It was fun to go there and always tasty.

I have gone to Qdoba here in the town where we now live several times but this one almost caused me to stop going.  ~GASP~

The workers are in such a hurry to quickly make orders that they got my order wrong three visits in a row.  A few times they actually asked me what I wanted and then didn’t put it on my order or gave me something else.  Another time before I could even say what I wanted they scooped a certain type of salsa on and sent my food spinning on down the counter toward the register where I was to pay for it.  I didn’t even have a chance to say “wait a second, I don’t want that kind.”  The first time it happened I got tickled because they were moving so fast and thought to myself, “oh well.”  After that it was just plain frustrating.

It seems in their attempt to be efficient and fast they’re missing out on one important part of relating and communicating:  listening.  Last time I felt so strongly Continue reading →