Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

From the inside out

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Snowpocalypse 2011, as it’s been called, is just about over it seems.  Two days and nights of a gigantic winter storm crossing more than 20 states with crazy sleet, freezing rain, snow and gusty winds have left everything outside covered in hard, icy white domes.  It took me about 45 minutes yesterday  morning to free my car’s windshield and windows enough to drive, about 30 minutes today.  Thankfully our little Ford Escort has a great heater/defroster and so once that started heating up my job started getting easier.  I can’t even imagine how long it would take to scrape the ice off without that warm air blowing on the glass from the inside.  I would probably give up and just go inside to wait for spring.

I had plenty of time to think as I scraped and thought about the cold that pelts us sometimes and how if we don’t have the warmth of God’s love inside it could become a tough-to-breakthrough shell all over our hearts.  Even though it still takes some time to be free of hurts, mistakes, troubles, etc. with God’s love and strength keeping the embers glowing inside we won’t be covered over forever.  It will most likely take some chipping away, scraping and sharp jabs, but it soon all falls away and we’re free to drive on.

God’s done that for me this year: freed me from some faulty thinking, hurts, questions, times of doubt, and even just plain tiredness that built up and coated my heart, making me feel trapped and unable to move.  Sometimes the warmth inside wasn’t really noticeable but I know it was always there, deep down.  I can see the last pieces starting to melt and little fissures appearing.  I’m free.  Let’s go!

Church is like Zumba

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My husband and daughters bought me the most thoughtful gift for Christmas.  They went above and beyond what we all agreed to do, chipped in and got me a set of Zumba DVDs because they know I love it so much.  I hadn’t been able to go to class for several months.  I’ve done a few of the workouts and they’re great, the guy who came up with it is one of the teachers and he’s a lot of fun.  I’m really glad to have them because if I can’t go to class, I can still shake the blues and chub away in our own family room.  Thanks to a surprise from a few of my Zumba buddies, I now have some free classes to use up so I went back this week, Tuesday and tonight.  I have to admit that nothing beats dancing off calories with about 125 other women in a big room with really loud music and fun live teachers.  Just being there with all of them energizes me.  No one is a pro.  Everyone is sweaty.  We all want to have fun, get fit and burn fat.  It’s awesome.

It got me thinking – that’s why I love church.  Not for sweat and burning fat, but for the camaraderie, the energy from being with others who are after the same thing, who love the same God, who want to be healthy and whole not only in their bodies, but mind and soul.  I’ve heard people say they don’t need church.   Continue reading →

The pursuit of truth…unless it hurts feelings

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I admit, now that I think about it, maybe I should have replied only to the gentleman who sent the email instead of clicking “reply all” and sending my message to everyone. I was attempting, in the kindest way possible, to tell him that the email he had sent was false. The reason I included everyone else was because I thought they would want to know that, too. The email he sent certainly wasn’t about a life and death issue but he was getting a bit up in arms over it and it’s the kind of political email that can get others really upset. He, himself, referenced a snopes.com article, inferring that’s where he got his information. I went to that article to see for myself and found that it said just the opposite, so I wanted to let him know.

Today I got a few replies from people Continue reading →

Almost lost the peewee

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I think just about everyone has a story about getting lost.  The scariest and most memorable for our family happened when we lived in New Mexico.  We had taken the girls to the mall and were hanging out a little while in “Tilt”, an arcade.  The girls must have been 2, 4 and 5.  The arcade was one of those that was the size of a store and rather dark filled with all kinds of video games, skeeball, basketball, riding games, etc.  Winning tickets was the goal so we split up and took the girls around to try different games.  I don’t know how or when it happened, but I thought John had Kristine and he thought I had her.  After watching Kimmi play a whack-a-mole game I looked to see where Kristine was.  She wasn’t with us so I looked down the way to where John and Kaitlin were playing.  I didn’t see her there either.  I called out to John and sure enough, he didn’t have her.  I began to panic.  We started calling out her name and rushing around the arcade, looking behind and around all the games, asking anyone we saw if they had seen our little girl.  No one had.  The staff hadn’t seen her but said they’d call security.  All of the sudden nothing mattered but finding her.  I didn’t care who heard me shouting her name or saw me racing around trying to find her.  Then John said, “I’m going out into the mall to see if I can find her.  You stay here.”  So Kimmi, Kaitlin and I knelt down right there in the arcade and prayed.  “God, please.  Please.  Don’t let anything happen to Kristine.  Please help John know where to go.  Please help us find her!”  I couldn’t even cry I was so scared, Continue reading →

Can being a close family be a bad thing?

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I had always thought he wanted to just do his own thing, since he didn’t particularly like board games and such, so I was surprised when he told me, “I’ve always felt kind of on the outside when I’m with your family.”  I mean, we had been married about 20 years by then and I had never known.  I realized that instead of just assuming my husband didn’t want to be a part of games or silliness when we visited with my family, I should at least ask him to be a part, make sure he knows the circle is open and we want him in it, if he wants to be.  Since then, I’ve tried to do that very thing and just have a different attitude about it and things are so much better.  He does enjoy doing things with us or at least being invited.  It’s a lot more fun for everyone else, too, when he’s a part of things.

I sure felt badly that I never knew that before.  I was always having so much fun with my family, whom I love so much, and he seemed happy reading a book or watching TV in the other room.  I assumed and you know what assuming does (If you don’t, send me an email and I’ll explain).

All this made me think of the Church, which is often referred to as a family.  We can get so close to one another and enjoy being together so much that we forget about people who are on the “outside” or think they wouldn’t want to be a part anyway.  Why don’t we try asking them?  How about we let go of each other enough that the circle opens up, ready to welcome more in?  We would probably be surprised how many see the love and life we have in God and long to be included.    God did make us to be a family, but He is also passionate about every one of his kids who hasn’t found their way yet to be invited in.

More than meets the eye

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I must warn you upfront that this post is kind of rambly and disjointed.  Okay, read on if you like.

We all make judgments about other people all the time, in split seconds.  Most of the time I think we base our judgments on the way they look, sound, act or smell.  Unfortunately, I think a lot of our judgments are critical because so much of our thought-life is driven by pride, even when we are doing our best to follow Jesus and live humbly.  I catch myself thinking critical thoughts a lot.  Probably need to take that one to God on my knees a little more fervently.  I don’t like thinking those thoughts and sure don’t want someone thinking them about  me.  They sure could, especially on days like today when I ventured out with no make-up and shaggy hair.

I’m not talking about dwelling long and hard on these judgments, just formulating instant impressions.

Can you tell I’m feeling a wee bit convicted about all of this?   Continue reading →

Modern-Day Psalm

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Being an emotional person who also relies on music heavily to connect with and communicate to God, I love the book of Psalms.  Many of them were written by David, who was called a man after God’s own heart.  You’d think that might mean that they only contain words of praise, thanks, and adulation but actually there is heartfelt, not so happy honesty there, too.  David doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to expressing how he really feels at the moment, even almost accusing God of turning his back on him, refusing to answer him, or abandoning him.  However, at the end of each one Continue reading →

When parenting teens, it helps to remember

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I so wish I could read my daughter’s mind.  She has always been open with me but there are times this last year or so when she shuts herself up tight, doesn’t want me to ask questions, doesn’t want to share her heart.  She doesn’t need help or advice, just wants me to leave her alone.  I get frustrated but I’ve learned to think back to the 16-year-old Mimi and try to remember how I felt about things, how I felt about my parents and my increasing independence, the things that were important to me, etc.  It really settles me down and results in patience.

We’re at an exciting crossroads for our family but right now.  If you could take a photo of our emotions it would look like this:  John is elated, Mimi is pretty hopeful, Kimmi and Kaitlin are happy for us and Krissy is sad, angry and withdrawn.  Rather than press her right now I’m just praying for her.  I remember when I was a teen, my dad told our family that he was going back into the pastorate and that probably meant we’d be moving sometime.  That news alone was enough to upset me.  I remember turning my head to look out the window as we all sat around the dinner table Continue reading →

A quick look back, then we face the dawn

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I believe in pressing forward and in living in this day but once in a while it’s good to take a quick look back to see how far we’ve come and remember what we learned.  A friend of mine said today that looking toward this new year is like throwing out a fishing line, we wait and watch to see what we’ll reel in, not knowing, but hoping.  I joked that it’s probably good we can’t see all that we’re going to “reel in” this coming year and that I’m glad Jesus is there to help us if we have to pull in something really heavy or menacing.  Today I’ve been thinking some about the lessons I caught in 2010.  Some of them were whoppers: Continue reading →