Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

What we want

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There were 10 of us at the table so involved in the conversation we never left to go sit in the family room. Empty dessert plates and half-empty cups here and there, we sat with full hearts, heads bowed and eyes closed to pray.

A few hours before, with hugs and handshakes, four other pastor couples from nearby churches joined us in our home. Almost a year ago, I’m pretty sure I heard God tell me we needed to do this, to get together with the area pastors and their wives, to become friends and support one another. I procrastinated for no particular reason and then my husband, who met with the pastors to pray recently, helped get the ball rolling.

We all talked and laughed and talked some more. Interestingly enough, there was no talk of our churches but more about Continue reading →

To be with Papa

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What’s it like when you spend time with your heavenly Father?

Amy Groeschel posed this question in her devotional reading plan titled “Listening to God” on the Bible app.

Her question made me uncomfortable and I didn’t like that. I’ve been a Jesus follower, a child of God since I was very young. I’m embarrassed to say that I still struggle in approaching God and it sometimes even causes me to stay busy with other things avoiding going to Him in prayer.

I’m ashamed of that, but there is a big part of the problem: shame. In her devotional, Amy said that we might over-spiritualize our prayer time, feel we must impress God or pray the right way. I have felt that way, that if I get distracted, let my mind wander, or even get drowsy and doze off, I’ve failed in that quiet time, will try to do better tomorrow.

What if I just come to God? Plain and simple. Continue reading →

The Word of the Day

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If you want to keep moving, you have to keep moving. My determination to be strong and keep moving as long as I can motivates me to really dig in and work out regularly. The trick has always been getting into a habit of it.  Once I do that, the rewards of exercising keep me from wanting to break the habit.

I happily discovered Daily Burn last year when we bought a Roku and dropped cable television. It’s an exercise channel with lots of workout choices, one of which is called DB365: a live workout every day of the year, always new, taught by an array of fun, down to earth trainers who take turns. The energetic, positive host, JD Roberto, does the workout along with the rest of the class which is filled with ordinary people. Through website chat during live workouts, facebook group interactions, Twitter responses, and Instagram posts, DB365 has really connected with its “people” and cultivated a sense of community and fun that keeps us coming back day after day.

Every once in a while they play the “Word of the Day” game. However many times the trainer for that day says the word of the day, Continue reading →

Where does it hurt?

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My Grandma told me once about a time when my Uncle Pete was just a toddler, a time when he wouldn’t stop crying and fussing. She fed him, had already changed him, tried to comfort him, then put him to bed. He kept wailing and fussing. She even gave him a little spank because she thought he was being obstinate about going to bed. His cries persisted, his little cheeks all wet with tears. She decided to check his diaper again and maybe even give him a bath to calm him down. As she undressed him, she found that one little toe had gotten all bent up caught in the elastic of his footie pajamas and was all red. She confessed, almost teary-eyed, that she felt awful being upset with him when the whole time he was crying because his little toe was hurting and he didn’t know how to make it feel better.

As adults, we may not always cry, but there are times we get irritable, Continue reading →

Fighting words

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There’s a time for everything: a time to win, a time to lose, a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to run, and a time to fight. That could mean fighting off a bully, fighting for something you believe in, or even fighting your own self and the things you tell yourself about yourself.

In the movie Back to the Future II, the hero Marty McFly does his best to do right and avoid fighting his enemy, the trouble-maker Biff. He has his limits, though, and when Biff hollers at him while he’s walking away from a confrontation, “What are you…chicken?” Marty stops dead in his tracks, steely determination in his eyes. He says quietly, “Nobody calls me ‘chicken‘” and turns to teach Biff a lesson.

What triggers you to that tipping point, to when you’re ready to fight? Most of the time I believe in solving things as peacefully as possible, but when it comes to the enemy of my soul, there’s going to be a battle. And, when it comes to the enemy picking on the ones I love, get ready to rumble!

I recently discovered an album by artist Ellie Holcomb called Red Sea Road. (so many great songs, love the lyrics) In her song “Fighting Words” she shares openly about the negative self-talk that happens inside, even self-hate, the lies the enemy spews and how she fights back:

I will fight the lies with the truth
Keep my eyes fixed on You
I will sing the truth into the dark
I will use my fighting words¹

As I listened, I found myself wishing she revealed specifically what her fighting words are. You know so I could use them, too! I realized I need to figure out my own fighting words to counter when the devil tries to pull me down.  Where would I find them? Continue reading →

WWLD

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Whiner baby. I confess I was complaining to my hubby about something that is what it is. I should just accept it and make the best of it. Time to put on those oh so famous, uncomfortable big girl pants and just move on.

You know, that is easier said than done sometimes. It can actually be excruciating to be positive about something you really dislike and decide not to complain about it anymore.

What do I get from complaining, though? Just guilt and the grumps. Complaining is discontentedness and discontentedness is basically telling God what He’s given me is not good or is not enough. I really don’t want to do that, because He has given me WAY more than I deserve. Many others have greater needs than I do, that is certain.

One thing that has really helped me try to be positive this week instead of complain is remembering my friend, Laura. Continue reading →

The unused gift

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They say opposites attract. Well, I wouldn’t say my husband is my opposite, but there are definitely some big differences in the way he and I think and operate. For example, I like to process my thoughts and feelings out loud, whereas John processes things inwardly. Mimi = many words, John = few words.

I’m an optimist and idealist, lover of happy endings.  He is practical and realistic.

He’s a big picture kind of thinker, I’m into details.  He dreams about where he wants to go, I want to know how it’s going to work or happen. What’s the plan, man.

However, one of the most glaring differences became evident a few years ago. Continue reading →

Psalm 91

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Last Sunday one of our friends at church, who has definitely had his share of troubles, reminded all of us to stop dwelling on and looking at our problems or challenges and look at Jesus instead. A simple truth. I’ve heard it so many times. Why should we do that?

Looking at my problems gives them more power to intimidate, threaten, and overwhelm me.  My mind then defaults to problem solving mode and trying to figure out how to fix it all. This stresses me out because I don’t know all the answers and I can’t fix it all! (Continual lesson and understatement of Mimi’s entire life.)

Looking at Jesus instead makes Him bigger in my eyes and heart, and my problems smaller or at least not occupying all of my attention. Locking my gaze on Jesus, I walk forward in the truth that assures my heart He’s in control, He is able, He is more than enough, His ways are higher, He is good, He loves me, He is faithful, He will help me, and He said He would always be with me. No worries.

The temporary loses out to the eternal. Proper perspective reminds me my hope and heart are sealed for eternity with Jesus. So bottom line, no worries!

Psalm 91 is full of promises from God for his little ones, his people: Continue reading →

Hi. My name is Mimi and I’m a control freak.

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Secrets keep you “sick.” It’s truth.

If you want to beat a compulsion or addiction the first step is to admit there’s a problem. You have to admit it to yourself and then to other people. The Bible even recommends it: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Hello. My name is Mimi. I’m a control freak.

Over the years I have caused myself so much anxiety and unnecessary stress because my little perfectionistic, likes to have a plan, very busy self feels like I know how things should be. My tendency is to, often subconsciously, try to manipulate and control people or situations to get the outcome I think is best. Just being real, peeps. Anyone feeling me out there?

I’m blessed to have some people in my life, who, along the way have helped me (and still help me) to see this problem and gently bring me to those so important places of realization which leads to being humbled which leads to saying I’m sorry which should lead to me doing less of the aforementioned attempted controlling. That is the ideal anyway!

I can remember a Sunday years ago when my husband (the pastor) woke up sick and our associate pastor was home with a broken foot. I got to church and started trying to figure out what to do for the service. Continue reading →

2017

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The door swung open and we stepped across the threshold of another new year.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing at the doorway to 2017. Were you someone eager and hopeful, tiptoed or even crouching, ready to skip or leap with a grin into the open space like a little child ready to get outside and make footprints in fresh, undisturbed snow?  Maybe you were reluctant and even afraid to step out, like someone standing under a ledge watching a downpour, not wanting to get drenched in the run to your parked car on the far side of the big parking lot.  Some of you might have stared vacantly at the open space ahead, taking great effort to just take one step. Maybe your heart is numb, worn out or depleted from challenges, disappointments, even grief you walked through in 2016.  You might have marched through, slamming the door behind you, so ready to get last year behind you, wanting to forget it altogether.

Even though we can’t see all that this year will hold, are there life events you’re looking forward to or dreading, or are you not sure what to think?

Lots of people tweeted or “Instagrammed” about the past year, whether or not they met goals, what they’re glad to walk away from, what was good or positive, which things went the way they hoped, which things didn’t. Many blamed 2016 for the tragedies we witnessed, the many well-known, well-loved celebrities that died, a wacky election, and more.  Goals and/or resolutions for the next 365 days (actually 355 as of today) were abundant across all of social media.

I used to blog regularly and it was extremely helpful to me when looking back through posts, like leafing through a diary. Lessons learned, emotions that ran amuck or got stuffed, happy times, frustrations, let downs, and the like filled the “pages.” Writing is a way of processing. It helps me figure out and sort through things. 

I haven’t blogged regularly for a few years now. Part of the reason being I was asking myself, “Who really needs to know what you’re thinking or feeling?” “There are so many opinions, editorials, reflections, and such on the Internet. Why do people need to read yours?” So many words out there, so much noise. Do we really need more?

I like to blog because I like to encourage people, which is a big part of my God-given purpose. I like a sense of community, in which you relate to other people traveling through life, sharing hardships and victories, laughing, telling stories, loving. I love the idea of helping someone else feel less alone in this life. If something I’ve been learning or struggling through or actually conquering would accomplish that, then I want to keep blogging.

So far in 2017, I’ve been reminded that words matter and our thoughts shape the path we take, so I need to keep positive, life-giving words in front of me to help keep my thoughts on the right path. God has been showing me, much to my delight (not really) how much of my life, my choices, my attitudes, and such are driven by pride. I want Him to change that in me, but I also cringe in the asking because I know it will be tough and most likely painful.

What are you learning so far? Can we try to let go of the past and look for the good in this year? Can we trust God and not let fear hinder us like heavy weights around our ankles? There will be “bad” stuff and hard stuff in 2017, there always is. BUT, there will be a lot of good: a lot of possibility, a lot of opportunity, a lot of people to love, a lot to learn, a lot of time to grow and become, a lot of chances to do better, a lot of hope. For those of us who follow Jesus, we can be cheered by the truth that He is timeless and so has already been in the year to come and promises to be with us.

I’d be honored to walk with you. Ready? Here we go.

“Lead on, O King eternal,

We follow, not with fears,

For gladness breaks like morning

Where’re thy face appears” – Ernest W. Shurtleff