Category Archives: Realizations & Ponderings

Self-explanatory

Glow

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It’s one of our favorite family laughs.  We were living in Las Cruces, New Mexico and had been teaching our girls a little bit about constellations: the big dipper, little dipper, the north star, and Orion’s belt.  They had fun looking for them in the wide, clear desert sky at night.  All three shared a bedroom and while out shopping one day we picked up a package of glow-in-the-dark stars to put up on their wall.  I put them up while they were at school one day and arranged them into some of the constellations, hoping the girls would recognize them when the lights went out.  Bedtime rolled around and all three were tucked in.  After we said our prayers, I asked, “Are you ready to see your stars?”  Continue reading →

Just helpin’ out

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As I talked with her in the parking lot after we boogied and sweated together in Zumba class, I was tickled by her enthusiasm and joy.   Sometimes in these conversations I can see her becoming a woman and blossoming right there in front of me.  I couldn’t help smiling as my firstborn gushed about all the awesome things God is doing in her life and the exciting opportunities for ministry coming her way.   As she spoke, God spoke very clearly to me, “See my handiwork?  Isn’t this much more valuable than any house, paycheck, or material thing?”

Years ago when the girls were little, they loved to help us with projects.  Continue reading →

Breakthrough

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I like the band “The Rocket Summer.”  It just so happened that the last two mornings as I drove to work, the iPod on shuffle, I heard one of his songs each day.  This morning I listened to his song that has these words in the chorus:

I need a break, but I’d rather have a breakthrough

Can I say that today?  I definitely have felt like I need a break, or my family does.  Could it be that if we hold out long enough, keep believing through strain that we’ll break through to the next level of growth God planned for us?  Continue reading →

Squeaky Wheel

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They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Does that mean that the broken vessel that speaks up or hollers out gets God’s attention and help?  Well, what if the heart longs to do that but there are no words?  What if all that comes out when I try to yell is a raspy whisper?  Will He stop, turn around and notice me?  What if I’m not sure how to call out or even what the real reason for my mess is? Continue reading →

To my friend, you know who you are

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I don’t have any wise answers.

I don’t know what the outcome will be.

I do know how it feels like a surprise punch in the gut to receive bad news, or at least news we hoped would be different

I don’t plan on quoting lots of Scriptures to you.

I don’t plan on downplaying your emotions.

I do plan on standing with you and hopefully bolstering your strength.

Take my hand, we can even link arms like when we were kids and played Red Rover,

“Red rover, red rover, hey cancer come over

We’re ready for you

Me and my friend here

The one who’s not alone

In fact, if you look on the other side of her you’ll see some of our other friends linking up too, our line stretching and growing

In fact, if you look more closely you’ll see Jesus down there on the end.  He’s our anchor.

You’ll have a hard time knocking us over or breaking through.

There’s too much love on our side, God-given peace and strength you can’t understand or explain.  You might as well give up and go home.”

To the enemy, with the overwhelming love and tenacity building in my heart I almost feel I could take you on myself

To my friend, you know who you are

If you get tired or sad or afraid lean on me as I lean on Jesus.

Look!  There’s hope ahead.  Healing in ways only God can dream up and bestow.  Love and faith, freedom from fear.  Laughter and dare we say…joy.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can tear you away from God’s fiercely faithful and loving embrace.

Rest in that truth tonight, my sweet friend.  I asked God if every thought of you could be considered a prayer and He said “sure.”

I love you.

Remember

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Memories.  A mystery of the mind.  Somehow in the electrical wonderland of our brain cells and zapping of nerve synapses we are able to log away and then call to mind again people, places, events, smells, words, songs, emotions, tastes, sounds and more from our past.  Might be from long ago or just five minutes ago but most of us can remember.

Some not so great memories get pushed behind others so that they only show themselves in crisis, hypnosis, or maybe when intentionally going through our mind’s files so to speak.  We don’t often want to pull out the folder with negative encounters, painful losses, or misunderstandings in it.   Most of us would rather reminisce about good times – pleasant memories and thoughts that make us smile or drum up warm fuzzies. Continue reading →

Shift

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It’s happened before, numerous times actually.  God shifts my gaze from myself and my so-called problems to Him.  Unfortunately, I seem to gradually rotate back to my old way of thinking and often need Him to turn me around again and again, back where I see only Him.

Last weekend he turned me around by letting me see a special friend who is in the midst of her fight against cancer.  I hadn’t seen her in person since her diagnosis and it moved me more than I expected.  Though she has lost her hair and we both look older, in her beautiful eyes I still saw the real her.  Love flooded through me and then shame for being so caught up and overwhelmed by my “problems.” Continue reading →

Come on, let go

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I feel like I’ve been holding in my little hands things and dreams I expected to keep or have, even prayers answered the way I think they should be.  I also feel like God has been reaching down with His big daddy hands, grasping mine and shaking them so I’ll let go of the stuff I think is good but He knows is not what I really need or want.  I remember when my girls were very young, shaking their chubby little hands at times to make them let go of something, like handfuls of dirt or some other yucky thing they were about to put into their mouth. Continue reading →

Roots

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My sister, Jodi, writes a monthly newsletter for women about overall well-being and making healthy choices.  Her words are always encouraging and helpful.  This month she shared a great illustration about a vine that keeps cropping up near their house, because although they’ve cut and pulled it away time and time again, there is evidently still a root in the ground somewhere and so it keeps coming back.  Jodi says that similarly, in our lives, if we don’t get to the root of a problem, we can cut and pull at symptoms that show on the outside but they’ll just keep recurring.  So true!

If a negative attitude or thought sits long enough inside our hearts, I believe it begins to take root and will be harder to get rid of than if we extract it as soon as we notice it there.  Continue reading →

Do we really know?

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When I woke up, honestly my first thought was that Jesus was coming back.  I slept in the top bunk in the staff dormitory at Forest Home Family Camp in the San Bernardino mountains that summer.  It was the middle of the night and my bed was jolting forward and backward so severely that all I could do was grip the sides of the bed and look over to see my roommates standing in the middle of the room clutching each other and screaming while bottles and brushes slid off the bathroom counter.   It was my first earthquake experience and was quite the eye-opener!  The rest of the night we all huddled together on sleeping bags on the floor, stiffening a little each time an aftershock rumbled under the floor.  More than any other time before then, I felt very small. Continue reading →